My 18 yr-old daughter wants to go to a tanning salon

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She just turned 18, and she wants to have a nice tan before prom, which is May 8. The weather here has been too cold and overcast to lie out in the sun. I say that tanning beds are more dangerous than sun exposure. She, of course, contradicts me and says that they’re bad only if you get a burn. Who’s right?
 
Seems you’re right Mom: mayoclinic.com/health/tanning/hq01487

Why not compromise and do a spray tan? Or salons/spas do high-quality sunless tanning services, where they exfoliate the skin and apply the tanner to make sure it’s even. And they’re not orange anymore… not the good ones.
 
Unfortunately, as she is 18, she can go to a tanning salon and do whatever she wants. However, if she wants you to PAY for it, she’ll just have to accept your limitations, huh?
 
You are right in that tanning beds are dangerous. My skin damage started showing only a few years after I was tanning regularly. It took that damage for me to decide that health was more important than beauty. On the flip side, your daughter is 18 and is able to make her own decisions. You need to respect that so long as she’s not going against her faith. Discourage it as best you can without nagging. Offer to purchase a good quality self tanning product so it looks natural. Talk to her about the risks. If she still decides to go through with it anyways, make her pay for it with her own money.
 
Tenebrae said:
She just turned 18, and she wants to have a nice tan before prom, which is May 8. The weather here has been too cold and overcast to lie out in the sun. I say that tanning beds are more dangerous than sun exposure. She, of course, contradicts me and says that they’re bad only if you get a burn. Who’s right?
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Tanning beds are horribly dangerous!! Besides, what part of her tanned body is she planning on showing at prom? If she doesn’t look good in the color she came in, maybe she needs a more modest dress.
 
I think that regardless of how old she is, if she’s still living at home and financially dependent on you, then she’s still subject to parental authority.

I can understand her wanting to get a tan, but does it really matter that much? Of course, I’m a guy, so I probably wouldn’t understand 😃
 
I like the compromise of a spray tan…
How about asking her to contribute some of the cost towards it? 🤷
 
I tanned occasionally as a teenager, which I paid for myself. If its only once in a great while I don’t see a problem. And I’m a big sunblock user generally, so I’m pretty careful with my skin. Make sure she does it very gradually and has proper eye protection.
 
Aw, let the girl tan. Have her promise to only do it until the prom. Also, tell her not to overdo it or go too quickly. People get carried away and try to go too fast, or get darker than they should. Not everyone can achieve a golden brown. All she needs is some color.
Plus, make sure she is wearing a modest dress. Maybe you can strike a compromise. You'll pay for the tan, limo, etc., as long as she wears a dress that meets your modesty standard. That is what I would do, had I a daughter. As it is, I will have to hope my son's young lady friend's mother keeps it clean. Of course, if she doesn't, he won't be going.
 
Personally I see no problem with a few visits to a tanning bed for a specific purpose (prom) since she’s 18 years old, but then again I’m only 22 …

Tanning is very popular here (TN) for ages high-school and up. Does your daughter soak up the sun well? Does she know the “guidelines” for tanning? For me it would take several visits to see any difference in my skin tone because your first visit should only last ~3-4 minutes depending on your shade, and the subsequent sessions get longer as your tan increases.

If she does tan, make sure she applies a tanning lotion and protects her eyes.

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I’d tell her to stick to the tan-in-a-can. 😃 The cream and foam formulas they make nowadays give a much more even result than the old tanning lotions. I use the Jergens moisturizer that gives you a gradual tan over a few days of use. A spray tan at a salon might be a good compromise, too.

If I were a mommy, though, this would not be a hill I’d choose to die on - especially considering that there are battles to fight over post-prom activities and such.
 
I tanned in the tanning bed as a teen and as an adult but I paid a big price after the birth of my youngest son. I had two places removed and the results were far from “okay”. I have taken a real liking to the spray on tan. It works great and looks very natural.👍 I am so pasty white and look unhealthy without some color.😊 Only my :twocents: Ultimately you are the parent and she lives in your home. Do what you think is right and pray that she understands.
 
***Spray tan. I had a bout with skin cancer (basal cell, the easily treatable kind) after spending too many years, back in my 20’s in the sun. Tanning salons are very harsh, also…but 10 minutes here and there shouldn’t harm the person, what happens is time passes, and before the person knows it, 20 minutes has passed, and he/she is burned.

I’d opt for the spray tan…and spring to pay for it, as that could be part of her prom gift.

Just my two cents. :)***
 
I think the key here is moderation. Just for this and that occasion. And not to a deep, dark brown. Just a little color.
 
There is no safe way to tan, EVER. Spray tans are not a safe option, either. They’re very damaging to the skin.
 
The medical line on this issue is actually in a state of flux now. Some doctors are now saying that Vitamin D deficiency is much more dangerous than exposure to UVB rays.

usatoday.com/news/nation/2005-05-21-doctors-sunshine-good_x.htm

Bottom line, though, is common sense. Getting a tan once, depending on your daughter’s skin type, is probably not statistically as dangerous as the car ride to the tanning salon. Buying a tanning bed and using it everyday- that carries risks.

You are correct that UVA rays, which the tanning beds use, are the least healthy for us to be exposed to, even though they are the ones that create a tan. These rays go deeper into the skin, don’t help the body create Vitamin D, and while they don’t cause burns, they do cause the skin damaget that results in the tan.
 
It all sounds so innocent when you’re 18, but wait until the skin cancer hits.

I’ve have malignant melanoma three times, starting when I was about 32. It left some very ugly scars. I still have to get my skin checked every six months or so.

What’s wrong with pale skin? Use and emphasize the beauty that God gave you.

Sorry if this sounds harsh, but I would rather not have people have to deal with the problems I had!
 
“What’s wrong with pale skin? Use and emphasize the beauty that God gave you.”

Thank you, I thought I was the only one thinking this! As a pale, freckled woman I am literally happy in the skin I am in. God doesn’t make mistakes! You would be better off finding a color dress that suits your daughters natural skin color. Many tanners get carried away and end up looking very strange and unnatural.
 
The trouble is, she’s self-conscious about the faint tan lines still visible from when she worked at the park district pool last summer and had to wear a uniform bathing suit with criss-cross straps in the back.
Good news is that the weather is getting warmer and the sun was out today. So DD tried tanning a bit.
 
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