My 4 year old has begun resisting bedtime prayers

  • Thread starter Thread starter Holly3278
  • Start date Start date
Status
Not open for further replies.
Holly3278 said:
Thanks everyone! You have all given such great advice! I am going to see about turning prayer time into a ritual with a candle and perhaps a statue of the Virgin Mary or some other holy image. I will let you all know how it goes once I am able to do it.
Click to expand...
Also–and forgive me if I’m repeating because I didn’t read the whole thread–it doesn’t hurt if this goes into that whole category of good things that we don’t always feel like doing. You can even tell a four-year-old that great saints went through times when praying was a lot of work instead of feeling good every time, and they called it “spiritual dryness.” It doesn’t mean you’re not “doing it right.” (None of us, even children, are fond of things we feel we must be bad at doing or can’t get right.)

You can also point out that some days, we don’t even feel like going to birthday parties or weddings, but we do it so the person having the birthday party or the wedding will know we care about them. Those times are special to us, too. They make us different people, they knit us to people we show up for. No matter how great something is, we don’t always feel like doing it, but when it is about someone we care about, we show up.
Holly3278 said:
Perhaps he is just exercising his authority by trying to say no sometimes too. Whether or not I should just let it go when he says no, I don’t know. I am thinking I should but I’m not entirely sure.
Click to expand...
I would think it is OK if he wants to do this at a different time of the day, provided it is a habit. There are families who have their prayer time right after meals or right after the kitchen is cleaned up.
 
Last edited:
I guess I’d say, Ok, you don’t have to do your prayers, but prayers are very important to me, so I am going to do my prayers now. And then I’d get down and say whatever prayers you are hoping he will sign onto. And you would do this every evening. It shouldn’t take all that long. At that age, kids are pretty much “monkey see, monkey do.” So just do it. Arm twisting is counter-productive.
 
4 year old boys want to be big boys, what dad says and does sets the example.
 
Holly, have you tried coaching Colton to say a little prayer in his own words?
 
Yes, I did that over a year ago. He actually made a very good prayer in his own words asking God to bless numerous people in our family. I was surprised at how well he did it.
 
Hey everyone. The trick that I came up with is no longer working. Before, I would say “Well, I’m going to do my bedtime prayers.” if he said that he did not want to do his. That no longer works. He now tells me he doesn’t want me to do mine either. He tried this the other night so I didn’t press the issue and I just skipped bedtime prayers with him for that night and prayed my own prayers silently in my mind as he was falling asleep. The next night I talked to him about the importance of prayer. He wanted to know how we fight the devil and I told him that when we pray, God gives us the power to fight the devil and to be good and I told him that we have to pray in order to get this power. I told him that the power is called “grace”. After I explained that to him, he wanted to do his prayers.
 
Colton is still resisting bedtime prayers even after I explained to him about getting power from God with our prayers. I think perhaps he is just too tired sometimes. I don’t force him to pray when he doesn’t want to. I feel like if I force him to pray, that will make him dislike prayer time even more.
 
Hi fairly new to the Faith. I’m not married. You said that you have a 4y/o maybe you can go to a friend’s house and have a talk with one of his friends parents and ask them what they would do if they were in your shoes . Your child could have a sleep over at a friend’s house and he could see how his friends might make bedtime prayer somewhat fun to do and they could possibly rub off when they show your son how much fun it is to talk with Jesus like he is their best friend which he is! 😁 this could help him like to do bedtime prayer. Again not married and no children just giving some help with the problem.

Hope this helps
 
For a 4 year old, I think we want to ensure we aren’t imposing burdens beyond what they can mentally handle. My 4 year old son is not going to kneel through a rosary or psalm or anything like that…not happening. But he will pray, every single night, “thank you Jesus for the day. Amen”. And that’s all I ask of him right now. I pray the rosary, muttering it just barely under my breath, while I put him to sleep.

The other day he was singing “Jesus loves me” which he must have picked up from his protestant mother…then suddenly he added a new verse “Jesus loves dada, Mama Mary loves dada”… I was blown away. If you give them some space, it will come.
 
Swiftdove said:
Make him take a walk out back and choose his own switch. Then when he brings it to you give him 4 good ones and tell him never do it again.
Click to expand...
Don’t do this, OP. Be consistent, keep it simple, and model what you want to see. Hang in there!
 
I don’t think you should force him to form words if he’s tired and crying, but he should be able to stay quiet and fold his hands while you say a quick prayer or two with him. We “force” our kids to brush their teeth when they’re tired because we don’t want their teeth to rot, and most kids don’t grow up to hate dental hygiene.
 
OP Keep in mind in light of the Church Teachings of “The Members Of The Church Militant”

There are Two classes of persons replying to your Post, The Good and the Bad. Both professing the same faith and partaking of the same Sacraments, yet differing in their manner of life and Morality.

The good are those who are linked together not only by the profession of the same faith and participation of the same Sacraments, but also by the spirit of grace and bond of charity.
Follow the Spirit that Cries out " Jesus is risen in the Flesh!"

My prudence says, Punish him for sinning against the 5th Commandment to Honor your parents. Make him pray because he is too young too rebel and choose his own beliefs , you let him know what is expected and take control of your child. That is my advice to you from an assertive stand point in light of Church Militant on the Good side.
 
Last edited:
You give horrible parent advise, remember the thread about the rosary? :roll_eyes: kids are not heretic preachers for them to be punished for not praying enough.
 
Last edited:
You say so… Jesus will come and separate the sheep from goats and you will see what you look like according to the life you have lived, your choices.

I will always be thankful that when I was too week to make my own choices that my parents made them for me. Baptized me, taught me beliefs and took the time to share the faith.

Yet we are Thankful for our discipline Now and thankful for the times we were rectified through punishment. Thank the Father for his love and fight the good fight.
 
Last edited:
Oh you have given me a good morning laugh. He is 4. He will have no idea what the real reason he is being punished. Please that is all horrific parenting advice.

OP I now do prayers in the morning in my 5 year old. He is much more compliant and rarely refuses. At night it is a completely different scenario. I’d hazard a guess he is too tired which makes it much harder for him to understand.

I also expect grace at meals to be said and of course our Sunday obligation. Their choice of prayer is their own as long as it’s done together (the eldest loves to say a decate of the rosary and a bible story, my youngest is always the minimum!).

Please don’t make prayer time a battle. Let is be an calmint and positive time together.
 
Why don’t you pray with him in the afternoon instead. Is there a parish nearby?

When I was little I loved to light candles at Church for my grandfather who died, and my uncle.

Take him for a walk, show him the candles, then maybe get a battery operated votive for his room and light it for bedtime prayers.

Short simple prayers.
Disregard advice about hitting him with switches.
 
Last edited:
There is no way I would ever hit my child as a punishment. I don’t believe in corporal punishment.
 
He’s only four. He probably doesn’t yet understand the importance or benefits of regular prayer. God knows he doesn’t understand it, yet. And I think God communicates to children on their level, within their capacity to comprehend things at whatever age they are.

Perhaps the resistance is to having to memorize prayers by rote. Perhaps you could encourage him to express to God in his own childlike way, and in his own words. That might bring an element of closer intimacy into his praying. And even if he doesn’t want to pray, he can tell that to God (who already knows it, anyway).

Between very young children and God, it may be better to let things happen than to try to make them happen. Forcing a four-year-old to pray, when he doesn’t fully understand it, may cause him to perceive praying as a form of punishment. Instead, lovingly encourage him to pray and establish his friendship with God. Put into those terms, he might actually want to pray. Kids love having good friends, and you could tell him that God is his most special and best friend of all. Express it in that way and on his level, and you might get a lot farther with him.
 
Hitting someone smaller and weaker communicates only one thing: The hitter is a bully. The last thing a parent should want from their child is to be perceived as a bully. Heaven knows, kids get bullied enough by other kids. Adults shouldn’t be doing it, nor should adults tolerate bullying in any form, from anyone.

P.S. – I was bullied as a kid. I know firsthand what I’m talking about.
 
Status
Not open for further replies.
Back
Top