My annulment journey

[rick43235]

Here are some examples, if you want to compare…

dcgary.org/pdf/tribunal-petition-for-annulment.pdf

diosav.org/tribunal-lackofform

These examples are very similar to the application given to me by the priest from the parish where I attend mass with my wife. A question: I notice that they ask for information regarding any marriage counseling received. In fact, the one I have even asks for a release so that the doctor can disclose to the tribunal confidential information discussed during counseling sessions. I’m not especially happy with that, but I guess I can live with it. However, there is no way on God’s green Earth that my former wife would sign such a document. Will that hinder my application?

 

[luminoushope]

In fact, the one I have even asks for a release so that the doctor can disclose to the tribunal confidential information discussed during counseling sessions. I’m not especially happy with that, but I guess I can live with it. However, there is no way on God’s green Earth that my former wife would sign such a document. Will that hinder my application?

My parish priest told me the tribunals encounter uncooperative former spouses all the time and that would not be held against one if that occurred. In fact, he implied that a former spouse’s refusal to cooperate might help one’s case. In any event, I think what all of us going through these procedures must do is trust God working through His Church. I think it would help to keep projecting, speculating, second-guessing etc. to a minimum. At least it helps me.

Peace be with you,

Luminous Hope

 

[JTaylor801]

One more piece of good news. The life I lived and that first marriage was a chapter I closed in my life many years ago. Part of the tribunal questionnaire is to list a few people as witness to my life before, during and immediately after that marriage. Because my ex and I rarely socialized with others, I wasn’t sure how many individuals I would be able to find as witness.

Well…I have found two and had successful contact with one and will mail a letter to the second one as I have no email address or phone for him. The first has agreed to allow me to list her as witness.

With daily prayer from myself and many of you out there, this is all coming together.

Thank you,
Jerry

 

[Prague]

Thank you for your updates. We all wish you God’s Blessings.

 

[rick43235]

My parish priest told me the tribunals encounter uncooperative former spouses all the time and that would not be held against one if that occurred. In fact, he implied that a former spouse’s refusal to cooperate might help one’s case.

Yes, I have also heard that an uncooperative spouse will not generally hurt an annulment application. My specific question, however, is about a former spouses refusal to consent to the disclosure of what went on during marriage counseling. Since the tribunal is asking for this consent, I assume they have (what they consider to be) an important reason for reviewing the information. However, since the marriage counseling was a joint effort between a husband and wife, I assume that consent would be required from both in order to release it to the tribunal. Without this information, in some cases anyway, the tribunal may feel that they do not have enough information to render a verdict.

So…what would one do in such a case?

 

[AnotherChance]

One more piece of good news. The life I lived and that first marriage was a chapter I closed in my life many years ago. Part of the tribunal questionnaire is to list a few people as witness to my life before, during and immediately after that marriage. Because my ex and I rarely socialized with others, I wasn’t sure how many individuals I would be able to find as witness.

Well…I have found two and had successful contact with one and will mail a letter to the second one as I have no email address or phone for him. The first has agreed to allow me to list her as witness.

With daily prayer from myself and many of you out there, this is all coming together.

Thank you,
Jerry

For my annulment, two witnesses were required; but the priest encouraged me to ask more than two people, in case some of them didn’t return their questionaire. It surprised me that my witnesses told me that the questionaire they got was very involved. I had gotten the impression that their part was small and not too complicated, but apparently this is not the case.

I listed four people as witnesses. Two of them were very slow in completing the questionaire, and I actually don’t know if they ever finished it. The tribunal went ahead as soon as the first two questionaires were turned in. My priest said that the witnesses not following through was one of the most common reasons for the annulment process to be stalled.

My prayers are with you. I started the process in March of 2008, had all the paperwork submitted in September 2008, and received the declaration of nullity in April 2009. It was 100% worth all of the effort.

 

[AngelaBarbara]

Best wishes to the original poster; the annulment process is worth it just to get closure.

My husband’s annullment is almost complete, and we need to have our marriage convalidated, which we will when the annulment is complete.

Can anyone tell me what paperwork we need to give to our parish to do this? I keep forgetting to ask. We don’t have our original marriage certificate; it was lost/misplaced during a move several years ago. I do have a copy of it. Will this do? Getting an original would be a pain…

 

[puzzleannie]

Can anyone tell me what paperwork we need to give to our parish to do this? I keep forgetting to ask. We don’t have our original marriage certificate; it was lost/misplaced during a move several years ago. I do have a copy of it. Will this do? Getting an original would be a pain…

call now don’t wait, gathering paperwork is the most tedious and time consuming part of the convalidation process, there is no need to wait, you may have to apply for court documents etc. Call the parish office first thing in the morning.* You will need a recent baptismal certificate for each of you showing all sacraments received (call your baptismal parish for this), original marriage license or certified court copy, and of course the annulment documents, but I am sure there is more I am not aware of.

 

[AnotherChance]

Best wishes to the original poster; the annulment process is worth it just to get closure.

My husband’s annullment is almost complete, and we need to have our marriage convalidated, which we will when the annulment is complete.

Can anyone tell me what paperwork we need to give to our parish to do this? I keep forgetting to ask. We don’t have our original marriage certificate; it was lost/misplaced during a move several years ago. I do have a copy of it. Will this do? Getting an original would be a pain…

We just had our convalidation ceremony Saturday (before which I made my Profession of Faith and am now officially Catholic–yay!). We had the orginal certifcate, but orignally the priest had told us that a copy was OK–you would have to make sure with your priest of course. You need the other papers mentioned by the above post. Then you go through an affadavit with the priest, with the same questions people getting married for the first time would answer-- are you dedicated to a lifelong marriage, are you open to children, etc.

The process of my own annulment was long, but totally worth it. My husband and I both received the Eucharist for the first time yesterday.

 

[JTaylor801]

Best wishes to the original poster; the annulment process is worth it just to get closure.

My husband’s annullment is almost complete, and we need to have our marriage convalidated, which we will when the annulment is complete.

Can anyone tell me what paperwork we need to give to our parish to do this? I keep forgetting to ask. We don’t have our original marriage certificate; it was lost/misplaced during a move several years ago. I do have a copy of it. Will this do? Getting an original would be a pain…

Thanks for the best wishes. I plan to update everyone later today on my progress.

Regarding copies versus originals, I know in my process and from what I’ve had to produce so far, my priest has asked for all 100% original or a notarized/certified copy of an original. But in my case, my priest just told me to bring the originals and he’ll photocopy and he can certify them and stamp them for you.

I wish you luck.

Jerry

 

[JTaylor801]

A quick update…

I submitted my answers to the lengthy questionnaire last week to my priest. He was able to review and meet with me last Friday to go over my first draft. All in all, his edits were just a few. He told me that I was 80-90% there and advised me where to add more detail. I’ve completed my second edit and plan to drop the paperwork off this afternoon for his review.

I’m still working at finding another witness or two. I feel confident all is coming together. I can’t thank you enough to those that have kept me in their prayers. Just knowing there are complete strangers out there who care enough to pray for little ole me, is very comforting.

Jerry

 

[AnotherChance]

A quick update…

I submitted my answers to the lengthy questionnaire last week to my priest. He was able to review and meet with me last Friday to go over my first draft. All in all, his edits were just a few. He told me that I was 80-90% there and advised me where to add more detail. I’ve completed my second edit and plan to drop the paperwork off this afternoon for his review.

I’m still working at finding another witness or two. I feel confident all is coming together. I can’t thank you enough to those that have kept me in their prayers. Just knowing there are complete strangers out there who care enough to pray for little ole me, is very comforting.

Jerry

Yay! I am so glad you are continuing with your momentum. I found it the most difficult just to keep going with each step, sometimes having to be persistent with contacting people more than once, etc.

I will definitely keep you in my prayers. As I posted earlier, we had our marriage convalidated this weekend and I took the Eucharist for the first time yesterday. So all of the work that went into the annulment process is coming to fruitition for our family.

 

[ChelleyD]

So glad to hear you’re working diligently on this process. I worked diligently towards my annulment as well and was rewarded with a rather quick and “easy” process. Mine took right at one year, but might have been shorter if my ex had cooperated and sent in his information. The Diocese contacted him 3-4 times over a several month period, then finally decided that he wasn’t going to respond and moved on. That allowed me to join the Church at Easter 2001. My husband & I had our marriage convalidated on our first wedding anniversary the following month.

At first, I was overwhelmed with the sheer size and detail required in the Petition. But then I realized that the Tribunal didn’t know me or my ex and had only the details I (and my witnesses) provided with which to make their decision.

One “side effect” of going through this process is that it brought up all the “stuff” I’d been trying to not remember about my first marriage. After all, no matter how much I’d prefer to think otherwise, my ex was not the total “jerk” I wanted him to be, nor was I perfect. Having to face this “stuff” was very cathartic and allowed me to grow in ways I never would have thought possible.

Hope this helps.

 

[Prague]

Thank you again for your updates. My sister and I are keeping you in our prayers.

 

[puzzleannie]

Thanks for the best wishes. I plan to update everyone later today on my progress.

Regarding copies versus originals, I know in my process and from what I’ve had to produce so far, my priest has asked for all 100% original or a notarized/certified copy of an original. But in my case, my priest just told me to bring the originals and he’ll photocopy and he can certify them and stamp them for you.

I wish you luck.

Jerry

I asked and in this diocese you must provide the original or certified copy of all documents, even if it means going back to the parish, court or county–certified means provided by and stamped with the official seal of the agency that produced the original.

 

[AnotherChance]

So glad to hear you’re working diligently on this process. I worked diligently towards my annulment as well and was rewarded with a rather quick and “easy” process. Mine took right at one year, but might have been shorter if my ex had cooperated and sent in his information. The Diocese contacted him 3-4 times over a several month period, then finally decided that he wasn’t going to respond and moved on. That allowed me to join the Church at Easter 2001. My husband & I had our marriage convalidated on our first wedding anniversary the following month.

At first, I was overwhelmed with the sheer size and detail required in the Petition. But then I realized that the Tribunal didn’t know me or my ex and had only the details I (and my witnesses) provided with which to make their decision.

One “side effect” of going through this process is that it brought up all the “stuff” I’d been trying to not remember about my first marriage. After all, no matter how much I’d prefer to think otherwise, my ex was not the total “jerk” I wanted him to be, nor was I perfect. Having to face this “stuff” was very cathartic and allowed me to grow in ways I never would have thought possible.

Hope this helps.

I know what you mean. When I was filling out the questionnaire, I could only force myself to answer one question a day until it was done. It was extremely difficult and painful, but it also helped me to get the nightmare of my first marriage behind me.