A very large part of the dark night of the soul, as I found out, is ignorance. It is, in fact, why I am no longer a practicing Catholic, though I am still associated with the Church in a roundabout way. My discovery was, after a period of agonizing and research through clerics and books, that there are explanations, guidance, paradigms and short cuts the Church neither uses nor acknowledges. Something has been lost, I would say, between Jesus and the present day. It caused me great grief and sadness that I found this to be the case. Had the Church some of these protocols in place, I would have not only stayed, but would have been saved years of disturbance and searching. As it is, I feel like I have won the lottery. And I feel great pain because the Church appears to be intransigent in this matter.