My boyfriend wants to become a priest. what should I do?

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christina_kim

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Okay, I really am kinda mad but i’ll try to be as calm as possible.
So we are a young couple & we’ve been together for about 10 months now (including the month break) & as I was helping him choose his college classes, he says that he wants to go to a seminary.

I’m not saying that I want to marry him or anything (common, i’m only 18. I still have 10 years to go, ish)
But i just dont get why he’s with me
and he wants to talk about sex as much as he could, and how we should do it as soon as we make it official. (since we’re not “official” from our break), I lost it to him a month after we got together, but i don’t regret it because things happen for a reason.
I really dont get why he wants to have sex so bad. YES it feels good and everything, and i’m as tempted as much he is, but i really felt closer to God when i was without him, and i really dont want to loose that feeling again.
Besides the sexual temptations, it seems like he wants to be with me for a good amount of time, but why would he be with me if he wants to spend the rest of his life with God?

I really don’t think he should become one, NOT because he’s my boyfriend or lover or anything, but who he is… he’s just … so far away from “holiness” that i see from priests around the world. I really shouldnt say this, maybe God does want him to become one, but if He really did make a decision, why is he with me?? shouldnt he try to avoid the chances of being close to temptations?

Should I break up with him because i really dont think he’s going to realize what he’s doing to me? that I still like him more and more every day and if God wants him more than I do (short term wise) I should let him go?

I’m so confused. I honestly think he wants to become a priest because he’s not smart enough to become anything else, not that i’m saying becoming a priest is easy… i know they go through years and years of educations…

okay so long story short, I think if God really called my boyfriend to become a priest, he wouldn’t be acting how he’s acting right now and I dont know what to do. If it has to end because of that reason I want it to end right now because I want him to become a holier person and because we will like each other more and more.

I’m just … confused.

p.s. oh he just “decided” that shortly after hearing a priest’s homily @ our church to ask us to pray for more vocations for young people. so not even a month?..
I just want him to know that it’s so much more than what he THINKS but what he feels deep down in his heart.
 
well, as I see the desire to become a priest starts young, like 8 or 9 in most cases. If he just decides after hearing a good homily that he should become a priest the desire probably won’t last. Frankly, there is a lot of aspects of your relationship I don’t quite understand. Speaking as someone who is only 23, I believe both of you have an inverted worldview, especially him.

Like I have that desire to become a priest, I have my first desire when I was a young boy around 8, either a priest or paleontologist (by the way I have the geology decree so one half the dream complete). Then through my rebellious teen years (the only thing I rebelled against was the Church and God). Then when I decided to swim across the Tiber for good, well interest took off. Do you know what it is like when everyone calls you St. Anthony and ask me when I am going to seminary? Even my mother said I should become a priest. And though, I was not against the idea at the time, I was wanting a woman whom I could marry and raise a family with. Then you know you start entertaining the thought again, it happens periodically. And it is strange for me, I have been courting a woman for the last 7 months, and I am in love with her. Yet, I feel that call and sometimes it is so strong that I weep madly. And right now, it is difficult because well I love this woman, this wonderful, smart, beautiful woman, but it tears your heart out because it is almost as if I am fighting against God. Then there are times when I feel like we should break off the relationship, because she is very modernisitc in her worldview and that has clashed many times with my orthodox views, especially over sex. We both agreed about waiting, but she is wanting to do “everything else but penetration” so fails to grasp the full meaning of chastity (not to say I am perfect in that department, the difference is I am striving and I seek reconciliation). It was funny yesterday, I went to confession and I told my confessor about that stuff, and I was so close to saying to him that if it wasn’t for her I would be in that seat he was sitting in a few years. Indeed, the draw to me to the priesthood is the meaning of the life, surrendering my life to Christ even if it means my death (I would like to do missionary work in a country like Saudi Arabia, Sudan, Iran, or China were often preaching and being openly Christian means death, torture, imprisionment), to be a soldier in this Great War, to share the Good News of Jesus Christ, and even though you don’t have to be a priest to do any of this, the desire to celebrate the Holy Mass, to perform the sacraments, that are so powerful and uncomprehendable. However, I am committed to her, I made an oath to her, and I cannot rescind it.

To get back to your situation, firstly holiness isn’t unfortunately a qualification for the priesthood, they are just as flawed as you and I are. Secondly, if I know men, which I should since I am one, this is probably all just a phase. Thirdly, if he feels like he is being called, you should encourage him to go to a formation retreat or to visit a monastery for a weekend. If he really knew what the priesthood and religious life is like, he would probably back down. Also just because if he goes to seminary doesn’t gurantee the priesthood, usually the first two years are like a trial periods to see whether he can fit into that life. Fourthly, he should be made to do volunteer work, particularly for religious orders to get more experience with working with religious and the Church. Fifthly, your boyfriend doesn’t seem to serious or on fire for the faith, even though there are spontaneous vocations, they are rare, so as i have mentioned, it is probably just a phase, but real faith isn’t spurned by some pep talk or homily, it requires dedication, sacrifice, and a lot of soul seeking.
 
Maybe God isn’t calling your boyfriend to be a priest. Maybe he’s calling you through this incident to discern a vocation to religious life. Have you thought about it?
 
Dear Christina,
You sound a very good-hearted person. Thank you for sharing your thoughts with us. God bless you, Christina.

Things do seem to be very confused with you both. You’re right in that being a priest requires a lot of intelligence as preparing for the priesthood involves much study. As Sir Anthony says, you don’t need to be perfect to go into the seminary, but you certainly need right intentions, and thinking a lot about being your lover isn’t a good intention for a future priest, nor is it in line with priestly life.

Sexual sin isn’t just giving into the act, it is anything that leads to it. Jesus told us that even lusting after someone is sinful, the intention is sinful if it is deliberately entertained.

Your boyfriend realises, doesn’t he, that if he becomes a priest he will be celebate, he will have to do for the rest of his life without being anyone’s lover. I may be wrong but it seems he might need to do some maturing. Neither of you seem to be aware that God requires chastity of people who are not married to each other, You shouldn’t be lovers. You say you don’t regret it, but as it’s sinful to have sex outside Marriage, offending God is a good reason to be sorry for being lovers before marriage. If we do, we need to go to Confession, and then to avoid falling into this sin again.

But I think you know this at some level as you said that when you avoid being his lover you feel closer to God. Of course you can feel closer to Hm when not sinning against Him. It’s wonderful that you hope for your boyfriend to become a holier person, and that you’d like each other better if you both were closer to God. That shows real understanding.

Christina, may God truly bless your life, and your boyfriend’s life.
 
Sir Anthony - Thank you very much, that was very inspirational… It really helped me thinking that it’s just a phase, but I just don’t know how to tell him or if i should confront him about it, i just feel like it’s not my place, I feel like I have to wait till God gives him an audible voice? I dont know. but your definition of priest really made me realize what a serious matter it is to really represent oneself as a priest. Not just a little call dingdongdingdong and oh hello i’ll be there but really truly committing oneself with his LIFE. I think God wants me to sing for him for the rest of my life - I dont know how that’s going to work out, but that feeling I get when I praise and sing for him… I can’t explain, anyways, thank you so much, that helped me a lot…

Tsuwano - Thank you… WOW, i’ve NEVER thought of it that way. I think I’ve gotten that call to live a holier life as a person as well, but I didnt think of this situation that way… I think I should just wait till he realizes… should I?

Trishie - WOW YES! thank you! That’s exactly what I’m concerned with, honestly I am in love with him, but he’s always lustful. I don’t regret loosing it to him, but I really wish this would stop till… I get married (I said I because i’m still young … and you never know what’s gonna happen) I told him that we wouldn’t do it till the day we decided to make our relationship official (030609) and if he… we fail to win our fatal temptations three times, it should be over.But even if it’s that day (now he’s saying we should do it beforehand because it’ll be lent) I really want to stop having sex with him. It feels good and all but the feeling I get when I pray and praise is so much greater and they’re not even comparable. Last night he came over, we were home alone, getting very aroused but I told him to go home and I prayed the rosary… I just wish there’s a way we can stop this for God.

again thank you so much for taking your time to answer my question, I really should take more time to pray and grow as God’s daughter. God Bless you All <3
 
Dear God, I wish to love You truly and to allow You to love and serve others through me. I want to live Your dream of me fully, but I may misinterpret Your will and inspiration as it refracts through my emotions and mental processes. Please nevertheless fulfil all that You desire through my life and prayer.

Flood Your love to others though all my efforts and errors. Grant me faith, fidelity, wisdom and prayer. Recreate me in the fullness of Your will and fill me with Your love, for sake of Your honour and delight, and for salvation of souls.

Please help me to be the person whom You dream me to be, so that Your desire for me and for each soul You place in my care or influence, is generously fulfilled.

Translate me into Your own terms as I come contritely and gropingly before You in humble trust, with my imperfect efforts. I know that You have mercy on good intentions even if these are misguided. Yet please let me know Your will—for You have said, “I will instruct you, and teach you the way to go; I will watch over you and be your adviser.” (Psalm 32: v. 8) (1981)
 
Christina, listen to your gut. I’m sure this guy has some redeeming qualities, but from what you have posted about him, he is BAD NEWS for you. If being with him makes you feel more distant from your Creator, there is a real problem. To be blunt, it sounds like he is using you for sex. I’m sure he might like other things about you, but if he truly loved you he would not be asking you to remain his girlfriend out of one side of his mouth while talking about being a priest out of the other.

It does sound like both of you are confused, and for the sake of your mental well-being, I honestly think you should consider taking a REAL “break” from him. One in which you don’t even spend time together until you both have had some space and distance from relationship.

Let him discern his calling to the priesthood. If he’s only thinking about it because he isn’t “smart enough to do anything else”, either he will lose interest, or the seminary itself will weed him out. We don’t need priests who are there because they believe themselves to be too stupid to do anything else with their lives (sorry to be so blunt, but it’s true). Nor do we need priests who enter into the sacrament without even the slightest desire to control their sexual desires or even the slightest notion that talking about sex with their girlfriend and having sex outside of marriage at the earliest opportunity is not a GOOD thing. :eek:

It can be hard to see a situation with any kind of objectivity when you are in it, so do try to take a step back, a real breather, and hopefully some of the confusion will dissipate so that you can see the relationship for what it truly is. I’m not trying to suggest that your boyfriend is irredeemable, but I do think that continuing on as you are now is not only toxic to you spiritually but emotionally as well.

God bless,
Lauren
 
christina_kim said:
), I lost it to him a month after we got together, but i don’t regret it because things happen for a reason.
I.
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yes, they do, and the reason is usually that we give into temptation, having first put ourself squarely in the way of temptation.

“when it’s official” is when you are married

you ask what you should do. Work on your own maturity, and your self-esteem. Get honest with yourself and find out why you give yourself away so easy and place such a low value on “it.” you are quite right you are light years away from being ready for marriage. Your job at this age is working on your own identity, your own character, building virtue, maturity, self-discipline, self-reliance, and spirituality. Working on friendship, and on building yourself up to be the best person and the best woman you can be. Most of all discerning the vocation for which God is calling you, and learning to pray and listen to God’s voice insteadof just letting things “happen”.

your bf may be ready to consider the priesthood (or not) or he may be just feeding you a line, but that is not the topic of this thread, and you are not responsible for his discernment. You are responsible for yourself, so take that responsibililty.
 
Christina,

You need to stand back and think about what pleases God. God is not please by premarital sex. So, whether with this boy or any other, you need to respect yourself more than to talk in term of “losing it” and “doing it.” Sexual intimacy is part of the Sacrament of Marriage. It’s a holy thing. Visit www.pureloveclub.com and really stop and think about your purity and keeping God’s commandments.

As to the boyfriend… regardless of his current fascination with the priesthood, he does not sound like a person of character AT ALL. I wouldn’t date him even if he tomorrow decided he does not have a vocation to the priesthood. He has not shown good judgment, respect, or good character where you are concerned. I’d tell him goodbye, if it were me.
 
Another thing that is insulting is when he says he is not smart enough to be anything else, which is just sheer ignorance. Is he reducing the role of the priest to merely reading from a book? Priests on average need to attend 6 years of seminary in order to be ordained, when they get out they have Master degrees. In addition the typical requires you to learn Latin and Greek and in most US seminaries also include Spanish (well a good seminary there are a lot of deficient seminaries forming well deficient priests). And what is the reward for all these years of studying, the most physically, mentally, emotionally job in the world and guess what the average salary is for a diocesean priest is around 22k which is the lowest for that education level. With religious orders you didn’t really get paid. Priests don’t just have to travel around these days saying Mass at up to four parishes in some dioceses, but are always on call in order to perform Last Rites to someone dying, Then there are people who are going to spit at you, insult you and everything else. My old priest on the day of his ordination was approached by a Jehovah Witness and insulted, then you have a lot of people that will mistrust you because they think you are pedophile or something, then you sit in the confessional hearing perhaps some of the worst stuff in the world. And on top of that, you have the Devil so eager to test you and wear you down and beat you.

Frankly you need to get him to research the religious life, the priesthood, you should him to talk to priests from throughout the diocese you live, and so on. Even if he is not being serious about it, right now, doesn’t mean there is a vocation. I think he knew more about the priest’s life, he will be turned off to it greatly.

That being said, I personally don’t think he is really good for you to begin with. And you can do so much better. But if you wish to stay with him, at least reform him
 
It sounds like you’re in quite the mess. I’d encourage you getting out of that mess as soon as possible.

I was in a less-than-holy relationship in my past with a girl who kept me - not directly but through out relationship - from God and from His Church. It killed me and I never felt any kind of peace until I was out of that relationship.

Pray for him, care about him, but put some distance between the two of you.

May Our Lord lead you down the straight and narrow.
Stephen
 
Sweetie, you are young and confused by your hormones. By sleeping with BF you are bonding with him on a level you don’t understand and you are not able to discern the situation objectively. Right now you don’t care that you gave an unworthy boy a gift you can only give away once. But someday you may weep real tears of sorrow when you meet a good man who wants to marry you forever and you do not have that gift to give him anymore… your virginity that you saved only for him. You gave it instead to someone who doesn’t deserve it.

BF may have been fighting a religious call for years. Or it may be something new. In any case, he is using you to run from God. And he doesn’t care about your soul, or he wouldn’t be convincing you to sin. A priest is supposed to care for other people’s souls.

In any case, God’s will is never thwarted. Don’t get between someone and God. It will never work. (You listening, Anthony?? No “vow” made to a person can cancel God’s call.)

You marry someone when you should have been a priest, you’ll end up with a wife and you’ll someday weep real tears also when you realize that you should have been a priest.

Whoever you are, if you’re not a better person when you hang out with a “friend”, then you need to find a better friend.

So until someone has it clear what God wants them to do, stay out of that argument. It’s between them and God.
 
Christina,
Your boy friend has issues most HS/College have because of our culture. I can relate to him quite well actually. I suggest you seriously consider how you want to be treated. This book, while a bit long, includes a lot of information that will be helpful to both you and your boy friend. From there, you need to understand how you want to be treated and how he will treat you going forward. You both need to understand WHY premarital sex is bad for you and why it is so hard to control. I could never see it when I was young but as I grew in faith, I see very clearly how my life and my girlfriend’s lives were ruined by it. We would not want that for you and your boyfriend.
Peace be with you.
 
Christina, the only moment to have sex is when you are married. Someone who wants to be a priest doesn’t need to have premarital sex, which he will be supposed to preach against. That is a mighty contradiction. Also, dating is for the purpose of finding the person to marry, not for fun. This means it’s not fine for seminarians to have girlfriends. If your boyfriend wants to be a priest, he needs to accept the teachings of the Church first - and no, they are not man-made, we got the from God and there’s no option to disagree. If he wants to be a good Christian husband to you, he should abstain from sex with you until you are married. You are not obliged to give in to his demands and you do nothing bad if you refuse him. In fact, you do the right thing if you refuse him.
 
If you are not ready to get married, you are not ready to be in a deep emotional dating relationship. If not married, you have no business having sex.

Go to confession.

Crank the relationship back to “friends”. If you cause each other to sin, then, do not be alone with each other. Hang out with your youth group, with other friends and in public places.

Pray for him, and for yourself, that God shows you both what HIS plans are for you.
 
Wow, thank you so much for your answers, everyone
I just realized that the virginity I gave to him isn’t something I can just give him because he’s my “first serious relationship”, for before this I just played around with guys…

Inspired by the posts, I told him that I do not want to have sex with him till later later when we are both ready, I did not have to help him why, but I think he understood why I did not want to do it.

This is a little excuse, but ever since my parents got divorced I’ve been having some major self esteem issues, but as many of you and priest whom i talked to last saturday told me - “I am worthy because I am God’s daughter, because He loves me.”

I honestly do know I deserve so much better (HAHAHA) but I really do love this kiddo, this 21 year old kid, and I really want to lead him closer to God, not that I’m saying I’m already there, I still have mountains to climb, but I really want him to become a better person NOT because he loves me, but because He loves him, and I really want him to realize that inside out. I really want to be able to love him again when I meet him after we both finish cleansing ourselves in purgatory. (I know i’m just a young girl, but still! hahaha)

And Yes, instead of talking bad about him here, I should pray first and work on making myself holy first.

As for my boyfriend, I think I should pray for him, I don’t think it’s my place for me to tell him anything yet, but I should pray for the strength to lead my boyfriend and I to become holier people and a couple.

As for avoiding temptations… we’ve been doing well for 9 days now! it’s a good thing that lent is coming soon, so that gives a better plus reason to keep ourselves holy =]
 
Sir_Anthony said:
Speaking as someone who is only 23, I believe both of you have an inverted worldview, especially him.

Like I have that desire to become a priest, I have my first desire when I was a young boy around 8, either a priest or paleontologist (by the way I have the geology decree so one half the dream complete). Then through my rebellious teen years (the only thing I rebelled against was the Church and God). Then when I decided to swim across the Tiber for good, well interest took off. Do you know what it is like when everyone calls you St. Anthony and ask me when I am going to seminary? Even my mother said I should become a priest. And though, I was not against the idea at the time, I was wanting a woman whom I could marry and raise a family with. Then you know you start entertaining the thought again, it happens periodically. And it is strange for me, I have been courting a woman for the last 7 months, and I am in love with her. Yet, I feel that call and sometimes it is so strong that I weep madly. And right now, it is difficult because well I love this woman, this wonderful, smart, beautiful woman, but it tears your heart out because it is almost as if I am fighting against God. Then there are times when I feel like we should break off the relationship, because she is very modernisitc in her worldview and that has clashed many times with my orthodox views, especially over sex. We both agreed about waiting, but she is wanting to do “everything else but penetration” so fails to grasp the full meaning of chastity (not to say I am perfect in that department, the difference is I am striving and I seek reconciliation). It was funny yesterday, I went to confession and I told my confessor about that stuff, and I was so close to saying to him that if it wasn’t for her I would be in that seat he was sitting in a few years. Indeed, the draw to me to the priesthood is the meaning of the life, surrendering my life to Christ even if it means my death (I would like to do missionary work in a country like Saudi Arabia, Sudan, Iran, or China were often preaching and being openly Christian means death, torture, imprisionment), to be a soldier in this Great War, to share the Good News of Jesus Christ, and even though you don’t have to be a priest to do any of this, the desire to celebrate the Holy Mass, to perform the sacraments, that are so powerful and uncomprehendable. However, I am committed to her, I made an oath to her, and I cannot rescind it.

To get back to your situation, firstly holiness isn’t unfortunately a qualification for the priesthood, they are just as flawed as you and I are. Secondly, if I know men, which I should since I am one, this is probably all just a phase. Thirdly, if he feels like he is being called, you should encourage him to go to a formation retreat or to visit a monastery for a weekend. If he really knew what the priesthood and religious life is like, he would probably back down. Also just because if he goes to seminary doesn’t gurantee the priesthood, usually the first two years are like a trial periods to see whether he can fit into that life. Fourthly, he should be made to do volunteer work, particularly for religious orders to get more experience with working with religious and the Church. Fifthly, your boyfriend doesn’t seem to serious or on fire for the faith, even though there are spontaneous vocations, they are rare, so as i have mentioned, it is probably just a phase, but real faith isn’t spurned by some pep talk or homily, it requires dedication, sacrifice, and a lot of soul seeking.
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👍 👍 👍 Young man, I am a gasp at how wisdom has yanked you by the collar, your cap must be donning a full head of gray hair!

I am saddened by the corruption of your love interest. Those same popular culture interests have been flooding teen Catholic youth and has been moving me to become a motivational speaker. Frankly, I would be more disappointed if they were doing that than regular intercourse. Whatever the case, I know a couple that went through this, and uniform to taste, it was the boyfriend who had the problem with it. See we are taught in our faith to just do as your told without a reasoning as to why, if you have parents like mine, you probably have heard the old adage, “just do it, because I said so.” You sometimes become parents and do not really know the right things to say or the explanations to give your loved one in so short time a notice as when your cussing them out for bad behavior, hm, but what do you do when you cuss yourselves out? Interesting. Your rationale sounds right, it feels good, but it does not feel right, these are huge measures of control, restraint, and mutual respect within our church community.

You are a soldier for God’s church, of this, I am sure, you are in love, but there is trouble in paradise there, if you show her the way, then you know the obvious answer is to have the best of both worlds, be that a Swiss Guard, full time functioning business manager for a parish, or deacon. Where, by which, you must allow me to hear your sermons, I am enthralled already!

You are in love! Wow? What’s that like? I trust and hope that you will convert a great treasure, a unique find, Anthony. Weep no more, Anthony, you are one for driving into solution mode quiet well, I think you know what you need to do. She’s stubborn, she’s capable of the same love, she’s obviously misled, she doesn’t know how to initiate getting on the right path. You will have to lead her, you will have to nurture her, reassure her of your feelings and your intentions with her, give your problems up to God and make a clean slate of the obstacles and temptations that lie ahead.

My prayers are with you!
-Hope:blush:
 
christina_kim said:
Last night he came over, we were home alone, getting very aroused but I told him to go home and I prayed the rosary… I just wish there’s a way we can stop this for God.
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Next time invite him to pray the rosary with you. If he’s seriously considering the priesthood he should welcome the opportunity to begin practicing his celibacy now. If he won’t pray the rosary with you, then send him home while you pray it yourself.

Seems to me he’s trying to get all the sex out of his system knowing celibacy is down the road and he’s using you to do that. It’s not right on many levels.

Good luck to you. Remain strong and guard your virtue for the Lord.
 
christina_kim said:
Okay, I really am kinda mad but i’ll try to be as calm as possible.So we are a young couple & we’ve been together for about 10 months now (including the month break) & as I was helping him choose his college classes, he says that he wants to go to a seminary.I’m not saying that I want to marry him or anything (common, i’m only 18. I still have 10 years to go, ish)But i just dont get why he’s with me and he wants to talk about sex as much as he could, and how we should do it as soon as we make it official. (since we’re not “official” from our break), I lost it to him a month after we got together, but i don’t regret it because things happen for a reason.I really dont get why he wants to have sex so bad. YES it feels good and everything, and i’m as tempted as much he is, but i really felt closer to God when i was without him, and i really dont want to loose that feeling again. Besides the sexual temptations, it seems like he wants to be with me for a good amount of time, but why would he be with me if he wants to spend the rest of his life with God?I really don’t think he should become one, NOT because he’s my boyfriend or lover or anything, but who he is… he’s just … so far away from “holiness” that i see from priests around the world. I really shouldnt say this, maybe God does want him to become one, but if He really did make a decision, why is he with me?? shouldnt he try to avoid the chances of being close to temptations?Should I break up with him because i really dont think he’s going to realize what he’s doing to me? that I still like him more and more every day and if God wants him more than I do (short term wise) I should let him go?I’m so confused. I honestly think he wants to become a priest because he’s not smart enough to become anything else, not that i’m saying becoming a priest is easy… i know they go through years and years of educations…okay so long story short, I think if God really called my boyfriend to become a priest, he wouldn’t be acting how he’s acting right now and I dont know what to do. If it has to end because of that reason I want it to end right now because I want him to become a holier person and because we will like each other more and more.I’m just … confused.p.s. oh he just “decided” that shortly after hearing a priest’s homily @ our church to ask us to pray for more vocations for young people. so not even a month?.. I just want him to know that it’s so much more than what he THINKS but what he feels deep down in his heart.
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🙂 I tend to be very outspoken and right to the point so please forgive me answering your question/post without much fanfare.I don’t think YOU do anything…your boyfriend’s desire to become a Priest is a personal one and a decision only HE can make.As I read your post it appears both of you are making life more difficult for the other. Neither of you are elevating the other to a higher calling and or moral behavior.
I would certainly consider ending the relationship, giving him a clear field to exam his “calling” and above all STOP all sexual behavior so both of you can concentrate on what is best for each of you. Ending a relationship for a higher good CAN be a good thing. Pray for him daily and for yourself.
It seems that you are doing too much “thinking”. Relax, give yourself and your boyfriend a break from all this drama. Time takes time, try giving both of you this great gift in order for some maturity to blossom.👍 Good luck, these are tough decisions.bofus
 
I think the line ‘He wants to do it now because lent is soon’ is the worst part of this all. He doesn’t seem to love you or God. If he did, why would he subject either of you to that? Lent is not some magical time where we give up all our sins for a month. If he is committed to chastity, it should stop now, not later.
 
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