My cousin is planning invitro fertilization within the next few weeks

[KimberlyCat]

This is going to sound really strange and I don’t mean to offend anyone’s intelligence. If a couple is having trouble conceiving all they need to do is get a puppy and/or kitten. They also need to babysit a newborn baby as often as they can. The natural instinct of taking care of someone helpless somehow overwhelms their bodies. I have no idea how scientifically. I just know it usually works. Look at the statistics of parents who adopt babies because they can’t conceive…they get pregnant within a few months after adopting.

The couple can volunteer at their parish to work in the nursery to be around babies or maybe a relative or close friend has a newborn they can babysit. They might even be able to volunteer in a hospital nursery.

It’s natural…and free. Just a humble suggestion.

 

[catholicmamajoy]

This is going to sound really strange and I don’t mean to offend anyone’s intelligence. If a couple is having trouble conceiving all they need to do is get a puppy and/or kitten. They also need to babysit a newborn baby as often as they can. The natural instinct of taking care of someone helpless somehow overwhelms their bodies. I have no idea how scientifically. I just know it usually works. Look at the statistics of parents who adopt babies because they can’t conceive…they get pregnant within a few months after adopting.

The couple can volunteer at their parish to work in the nursery to be around babies or maybe a relative or close friend has a newborn they can babysit. They might even be able to volunteer in a hospital nursery.

It’s natural…and free. Just a humble suggestion.

I ask that you please read this link, which includes 14 myths and facts about infertility before making a suggestion about getting an animal or being around newborns to anyone again. resolve.org/support-and-services/for-family–friends/myths-and-facts.html

 

[LittleRose]

Many people who go for IVF do so believing that they have no other options, and they are usually told this by an industry that makes a lot of money exploiting the desperation of hurting couples.

Infertility is deeply painful. I know from personal experience. What the OP’s cousin needs is compassion and loving catechesis, not threats of abandonment or judgement about the quality of her faith or the state of her soul. She also needs better information about IVF, not just about the morality of it, but about the fact that it only has a 1 in 4 chance of actually working, and has serious health risks. Even secular media is starting to wake up to this, by the way. See this: nytimes.com/2013/09/12/opinion/selling-the-fantasy-of-fertility.html?_r=0

She needs to know that infertility is a symptom of bigger health issues, and there are doctors out there who are willing to get to the root of her infertility and heal her body, not manipulate it into carrying a pregnancy that it isn’t ready for. When you know the medical truth, on top of the moral theology, IVF becomes very unappealing.

Give her a hug, tell her there are better things than IVF out there. She doesn’t have to be a science project for another Frankenstein-esque fertility specialist.

And, just a general FYI, there is way more to infertility than lack of relaxation. If going on vacation, babysitting, and adopting a kitten is all someone needs to do to get pregnant, that’s fantastic, because it means she is not actually infertile. I know people mean well when they suggest stuff like that, but there are more useful things to say.

Below are links to resources that have helped me and many other women to understand our bodies and restore our fertility. Thanks to some wonderful Catholic medical resources, I am finally seeing what may be a light at the end of the tunnel, and I pray the same will happen for the OP’s cousin.

naprotechnology.com/infertility.htm
unleashingthepower.info
fertilitycare.org
onemoresoul.com/medical-resources
ccli.org/nfp/index.php
amazon.com/Fertility-Cycles-Nutrition-4th-Edition/dp/0926412345

 

[takers]

This is going to sound really strange and I don’t mean to offend anyone’s intelligence. If a couple is having trouble conceiving all they need to do is get a puppy and/or kitten. They also need to babysit a newborn baby as often as they can. The natural instinct of taking care of someone helpless somehow overwhelms their bodies. I have no idea how scientifically. I just know it usually works. Look at the statistics of parents who adopt babies because they can’t conceive…they get pregnant within a few months after adopting.

The couple can volunteer at their parish to work in the nursery to be around babies or maybe a relative or close friend has a newborn they can babysit. They might even be able to volunteer in a hospital nursery.

It’s natural…and free. Just a humble suggestion.

This post does a complete disservice to women (and men) who are experiencing infertility issues. Are you honestly suggesting that holding a puppy will somehow magically tell a woman’s body to start ovulating normally when it hasn’t wanted to ovulate on its own for a year and a half? Are you honestly saying that snuggling a newborn will magically increase the number and mobility of a man’s sperm? What a crock. No, Not true. You say look at the statistics of people who conceive after adopting. I say look at the statistics of couples who never conceive after adopting.

Per Resolve.org - The National Infertility Association:

Myth: If you adopt a baby you’ll get pregnant!

Fact: This is one of the most painful myths for couples to hear. First it suggests that adoption is only a means to an end, not an happy and successful end in itself. Second, it is simply not true. Studies reveal that the rate for achieving pregnancy after adopting is the same as for those who do not adopt.

 

[LittleRose]

Studies reveal that the rate for achieving pregnancy after adopting is the same as for those who do not adopt.

Thanks for reminding people of this. If infertile couples had a dollar for every time they heard that particular suggestion, it would probably cover their adoption fees!

 

[ChantalM]

I just have to add my 2 cents on this discussion as I have a personal connection. My sister (convert to the Catholic faith) has had IVF at least 5 times over the last 5-6 years, that I know of, of course. Her and her husband are doctors and she was unable to get pregnant the normal way (two times she was but didn’t last past the first trimester). I highly doubt they have practiced NFP. Believe me I’ve tried to convince her of the immorality of it, but it seems to me that in their minds they think that just because they’re both doctors means that it’s automatically OK. Heck, the priest of her then parish probably wasn’t even notified beforehand anyways. Interesting sidenote, I’m a convert and my male sponsor’s parents were NFP teachers plus dad is doctor and mom is a nurse. So you can’t say I don’t know what I’m talking about. All three of my sister’s kids (son and daughter + one in the womb) were conceived via IVF. She wants kids so bad anyways so it makes it doubly hard to convince her that she did it the wrong way (for lack of a better phrase). And to boot, they probably didn’t even cover IVF in her RCIA classes (if she even had them, which is debatable). They certainly didn’t in my classes, that’s for sure. We both converted in Ontario, which I think makes a significant difference. Going to my first class “on the other side” tomorrow night as a sponsor so it’ll be interesting to see. I know if I didn’t have that connection with my male sponsor, I wouldn’t even realize that birth control pills are wrong and messes up your reproductive system, much less IVF.