My cross is getting too heavy

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I feel for you… you will be in my prayers each morning and each evening… I am sorry you are suffering so much, and I truly hope the burden gets lighter…
please know we are here for you!

Bless you,
Margaret
 
I know what it is like to have no strength left to pray. I wanted to offer you something for when you regain that strength, I hope it is ok. I came across this prayer by accident one day on a holy card and I felt I had to buy it. I will admit that I don’t know much about Saint Helen, but I keep this card in my purse and it definitely helps for me to pray this when my cross feels too heavy to carry.

Prayer to Saint Helen:

Holy and blessed Saint Helen,
with the anguish and devotion with which You sought the Cross of Christ,
I plead that You give me God’s grace to suffer in patience the labours of this life, so that through them and through Your intercession and protection,
I will be able to seek and carry the Cross, which God has placed upon me,
so that I can serve Him in this life and enjoy His Glory ever after.
Amen.

Bless you,
M
 
God bless you Convert in 99. Even though you feel like you just can’t pray sometimes, pray anyway. Pray short prayers like, “Lord Jesus Christ have mercy on me.” and “Jesus of Nazareth, King of the Jews” and “Jesus and Mary, save souls” Just short little prayers and say them as many times as you can through the day. The doxology (Glory be…) is relatively short and easy to interject into whatever you may be doing. You can give yourself some comfort in doing this, and of course God loves to hear our prayers.

From the Catechism:
THE BATTLE OF PRAYER
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2725 Prayer is both a gift of grace and a determined response on our part. It always presupposes effort. the great figures of prayer of the Old Covenant before Christ, as well as the Mother of God, the saints, and he himself, all teach us this: prayer is a battle. Against whom? Against ourselves and against the wiles of the tempter who does all he can to turn man away from prayer, away from union with God. We pray as we live, because we live as we pray. If we do not want to act habitually according to the Spirit of Christ, neither can we pray habitually in his name. the “spiritual battle” of the Christian’s new life is inseparable from the battle of prayer.
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I OFTEN feel spiritually dry. You can’t let yourself wander too far off into this feeling. This prayer from the Divine Mercy Chaplet may also be of some comfort to you:
Eternal God, in whom mercy is endless, and the treasury of compassion inexhaustible, look kindly upon us, and increase Your mercy in us, that in difficult moments, we might not despair, nor become despondent, but with great confidence, submit ourselves to Your holy will, which is Love and Mercy Itself. Amen.
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Don’t forget to show yourself some mercy!
 
Aww…thanks to you all. You are TOO sweet for me. Thanks for the kind words and prayers. May you all be blessed for your kindness to me. 🙂

I have tried the sacrament of the sick several times. One time I did heal physically, I couldn’t eat for two whole months after a surgery. The anointing I KNOW helped me eat again. I would have died without it. It didn’t heal my fibromialga, chronic fatigue, or asthma, but I don’t care, they are not life threatening. Burdensome, painful, debilitating, but not life threatening.

I received the sacrament twice more (at least) since, in order to try to heal the mental troubles to no avail. Nothing, NOTHING even takes the edge off of them. I have tried so many medicines, I wound up in the ER because I had a severe reaction to one. I also was in over two years of counseling by a psychologist, and even more with priests. Nothing helps. Nothing. 😦

The physical pain is wearing me out, yes, but its the mental/spiritual trouble that is putting me over the edge. Enduring the pain wouldn’t be so hard if I didn’t feel that I was so bad, a burden to others, fear of everyone close dying, or live in terror of confession, in mortal sin, going to hell, God being mad at me, etc. It’s just too much…really…too much. I know I can’t be pleasant to be around…I apologize to my husband and family constantly. I have no friends, for this reason, no one can handle me. Most priests will hear my confession, but won’t hear me. They send me to doctors who can’t help me either. 😦 😦

You all will be so blessed for your kind prayers. God bless and keep you all. Thank God for friends like you. 🙂
 
Me again. Have you read The Secret of the Rosary by St. Louis De Montfort? It’s heavy reading, but well worth the effort. Don’t think you are friendless, we are here, and I for one will not give up on you. If you are frightened that badly of death, this book will give you some peace of mind. Our Lady has never let me down, and I don’t think She will allow you to go alone. :grouphug: Prayer is a wonderful self tool. Keep trying, don’t fret and let Our Lady do her thing.👍
 
praying for you. i undesrtand how you feel. offer up your eeryday to God.
 
Convert_in_99 said:
. My husband came home tonight and was upset because he heard a story of a woman who felt she was a burden to her family and committed suicide. I didn’t know he was worried I’d do that. Now I REALLY feel bad for him having to put up with me.
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that last line really hit home. someone close to me with depression would always say “i feel like such a burden… my saddness makes your life worse”… and that was COMPLETELY not the case. for your husband as well, thats not the point. he lets you know his worry because he loves you and couldn’t imagine a single day without your smile. you’re not a burden, you’re cared about more than you know.

sometimes the cross is VERY heavy, and you think you’re alone. take it from me, a complete anonymous stranger with no attachment to you at all… you aren’t alone, there are thousands out there feeling those same thoughts you have.
Depression is a NASTY, nasty disease that creeps into everything.
cognative therapy is awesome for treatment of depression. i’d call your local Catholic hospital and as my mom always told me… if one doctor doesn’t tell you what you want to hear, try another, and another until one does.

my friend who was very depressed in her 20s, all sort of stomach ailments and bowel disease… sleep disorders… psych meds… you name it, she was on it.
I spent many nights till 5 in the morning talking with her while she cried on my shoulder, she stayed for weeks in my mountain cabin , crying the entire time - i ended up driving her twice a week to a therapist because she was too tired and sore to drive from her chronic pain - (and contrary to her thoughts at the time, it was never a ‘burden’ - just helping a friend)… i’ve seen more tears and cries of “no one would miss me if i wasn’t around” – “everyones life would be easier without me” — “i’m a burden to everyone around me” – “i bring you down, you don’t need me, i shouldn’t be here” —
everyone of those is a lie. she just took 10 years to see that truth. no matter how much she believed those statements, they weren’t true. no matter how earnestly she believed it, they weren’t the case.

that was 14 years ago, shes married with a great husband and 3 kids… she often tells me when i’m stressed “this too shall pass, relax Chris…” - the student teaching the teacher of sorts. the meds helped, they treated the dopamine not the seratonin… took a great doc to figure that one out.

your posts sound so familar to me. my prayers are with you and your family. fight the good fight.
 
Know this:

God Loves you. The Lord of all creation. The most Majestic, Amazing Loves you. He longs for you SO much He gave His love, His care, His VERY LIFE…for your life. Because He Loves you SO much, you have redemption. You might walk in the light with Him in heaven some day.

Though it might be hard…take a small time every day. Simply look up to the heavens and smile. Show God that you know He is there. Acknowledge that you know He has such burning Love for you.

I once watched a Rob Bell video which was aimed at forgiveness. You said that you are in constant fear of mortal sin. Please just know that God is constantly saying (quote from Rob Bell) “there’s nothing you could do to make me love you less…nothing.”

If you’re able to go to Eucharistic Adoration…PLEASE do so. I can practically hear Christ calling your name. Go to Him. Even if you can’t completely focus on Him, just the act of trying to will be enough. It’s not what we say to Him, but the fact that we tried to say it. Not* what*, but the fact that we want to be with Him.

Know that my next rosaries will be for you. Know that you are in my prayers. Know that you are in the prayers of every saint and angel. Know that the eternal Mass in Heaven is always being said for you. That you might be content and happy in our Lord.

Please pray whenever you can with these three words:

GOD IS LOVE.

Thinking of every aspect of your life just say these words. Standing, kneeling, sitting before Jesus Christ, Son of the Most High, Sacrificing Himself on the Cross, say these words knowing that He died for us*** . . . for you . . .***

Please know you are deeply in my prayers.

:gopray: :gopray: :gopray: :crossrc: :signofcross: :gopray2:
 
Dear Convert. My wife and I are going to keep you in our prayers regularly. :gopray2: :hug1:
 
I will continue to keep you in my prayers Convert 99. While I am blessed with good health, I have struggled with medical issues, and it is a difficult (and expensive!!) cross to bear. I really recommend the book Arise From Darkness. It has helped me so much. I also have found that it helps me to pray for others, even if it just a generic “praying for the sick of my parish” prayer. Because it takes my mind off my troubles, and helps me help others. And, as long as we are praying, we are among the most important “contributors” in society.

Also, when you are in too much pain to pray, I recommend just holding the rosary in your hand. I find that when I told the crucifix on the rosary in my hand, it provides much comfort, even when I am unable to pray.

I will keep the prayers coming.

Sincerely,

Maria1212
 
None of us has a cross as heavy as the one Jesus carried. I will offer my morning prayers for you.
Kathy
 
Thank you everyone! You are all very sweet. Thanks for all of your kind words and prayers. I am feeling a little better, at least spiritually. Well that’s something and it sure makes it easier to endure the other two. God bless you for your kindness to me! 🙂
 
To a degree, I understand so much where you’re coming from. Just reading your post I thought that perhaps I could have written it. Although I may not have suffered as greatly as you, or as long, I have been in very similar circumstances.

Because I’ve been there, because I know in my own way by my own experiences, I want you to know something. God is in control. He has His purpose for everything. Even though it may be very hard to live through, if God has allowed it to happen, please believe it is for a reason of something wonderful… something we can’t understand right now. But please know that your suffering has not been in vain. You have a great meaning to your life, and all that happens within it. The ups, the downs… weather it for God, because as hard as it may be, as lonely as it may be, there’s a reason that we may not always be able to see. So just hang in there.

I cannot express to you how much I know about being sick for years, being alone, feeling abandoned by God. Friends are lost, the world seems to pass by; it’s hard… it’s frightening. It can cause so much dispair in one’s soul. But please try not to dispair. However good or bad your day is, each day, live it for God. I do not believe He has forgotten you, and I don’t believe he is angry with you. Trials don’t last forever, dear soul. While you are enduring these hard times, endure them each day for Jesus. The devil hangs around everyone. One day he will be put in his place. But for now and forever, Christ has the victory. The lies of the devil can bring a person down even lower. (“God hates you, he’s angry with you, sinner!” etc). When these lies enter into your mind, just start praising Jesus. I know when thoughts start entering my mind and I get anxious, I start praising Jesus (“Jesus You’re worthy, Jesus You’re glorious, Jesus You’re holy”, etc) and it actually helps me feel better. I know when your sick, the devil likes to kick you while you’re down. Praise God when this happens; acutally praise Him because the devil cannot stand when someone worships Christ.

If I had to guess, I think Jesus wouldn’t be angry with you at all; I think he would wrap his arms around you, give you a long, long hug, then look into your eyes and tell you that He loves you. You still seek him after all these years, after all your suffering. You’ve come to this site asking for prayer because your soul and body are weary, and you find it hard to pray. What a beautiful thing you have done, asking others to pray for you while you are weary. This is an act of love on your part toward God, because you still are faithful to him. How could God despise that? What a beautiful child of God you are; don’t let the devil lie to you. I think you’re a beautiful soul; and that’s just from what I see. Just imagine how much more God sees beauty in a soul, and how much He loves you.

If you’re suffering, suffer for Jesus. What ever you must go through, do it for Jesus. And know He loves you. More than you’ll ever imagine.

:hug1: If you were my neighbor I would just shower you with hugs and be your friend. If you ever want to talk to anybody, feel free to talk to me. God bless you.

P.S.- And I will pray fervently for you. I’ll not forget about you in my nightly prayers.

Glimpses at your profile~ Hey, I’m a stay-at-home-wife too! Yay :)!
 
Convert_in_99 said:
Thank you everyone! You are all very sweet. Thanks for all of your kind words and prayers. I am feeling a little better, at least spiritually. Well that’s something and it sure makes it easier to endure the other two. God bless you for your kindness to me! 🙂
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God bless YOU for your strength! Thank the Spirit for His gift of fortitude!

Just remember the words Abraham used to comfort the Israelites:

Exodus 14:13
Do not be afraid. Stand firm and you will see the deliverance the Lord will bring you today.
 
Dear Convert,

you have been very much of inspiration and encouragement to me… this is not an effort to say nice words, but it’s just… reality. I am very thankful that I can know somebody like you. It is strange how your kind words here on the forum can make difference in somebody who is so far, far away in Europe 🙂 During the summer I will go to one 5-day Catholic retreat in England. One evening there will be all the time devoted to prayers of healing. I will be praying than for you then! Hopefully with others as well! Untill then, I will most certainly keep you all the time in my prayers.

A hug to you, Convert! :console:

(PS: sending you a PM)
 
Thank you SO much everyone. Thanks for all of the kind words and prayers. May God bless you and yours for your continued kindness to me. 🙂
 
Maria1212 said:
Also, when you are in too much pain to pray, I recommend just holding the rosary in your hand. I find that when I told the crucifix on the rosary in my hand, it provides much comfort, even when I am unable to pray.
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might I also suggest you get a glow-in-the-dark rosary? they make heavy duty ones for the sick that won’t break if you sleep with it and roll on it or drop it–they are larger too for sore hands and fingers, and usually they are made of lightweight plastic that is cool and smooth to touch. I find great comfort in mine–to see it glowing right there with me all night long. And most of them come with metals for St. Peregrine or St. Jude–both very good choices for illness. I got mine on eBay for less that $20–do a search for ‘glow in the dark rosary’ (make sure you get the larger ones–they do make the small/normal sized ones too–but they are harder to keep track of in the dark.) I hang mine on the headboard or lay it on the windowsill next to my pillow and just hold it when I need comfort.

Ravyn
 
Ravyn_Guiliani said:
might I also suggest you get a glow-in-the-dark rosary? they make heavy duty ones for the sick that won’t break if you sleep with it and roll on it or drop it–they are larger too for sore hands and fingers, and usually they are made of lightweight plastic that is cool and smooth to touch. I find great comfort in mine–to see it glowing right there with me all night long. And most of them come with metals for St. Peregrine or St. Jude–both very good choices for illness. I got mine on eBay for less that $20–do a search for ‘glow in the dark rosary’ (make sure you get the larger ones–they do make the small/normal sized ones too–but they are harder to keep track of in the dark.) I hang mine on the headboard or lay it on the windowsill next to my pillow and just hold it when I need comfort.

Ravyn
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Wow…what a great idea! I usually sleep with a night light. This would be a million times better! Thanks and God bless you for your kindness! 🙂
 
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