my dad died

  • Thread starter Thread starter alejandrea
  • Start date Start date
Status
Not open for further replies.
A

alejandrea

Guest
My dad died in car accident 7 weeks and 3 days to this day
And I can’t help this feeling that I have of hoplessness sometimes it feels like I have a hole in my chest and I just wanted to know how can I overcome these feelings?
I want to believe that he is resting in peace and has gone to heaven to be reunited with his parents but I just look around me and I feel really empty 😦
 
My deepest condolences.

All I can tell you is that it does get easier, but it’s a one step up, two steps back sort of thing.

After my brother’s death [motorcycle crash] it took me months to get past the numbness phase, and I went into a suicidal depression. But slowly, I got to a point where I could hear his name without flinching, and started to live again.

Ultimately, the pain of losing him was nothing compared to the joy of having had him: it was worth every tear.

So keep praying, don’t be afraid to ask for help, be honest about how you feel. Don’t hide the pain, and don’t forget to celebrate the good memories.
 
I am so sorry to hear this news about your Dad. It makes sense to me that you would feel the way you do. After all, you’ve lost someone very important to you. I will pray that God in His kind providence would comfort you and that He would give you the grace to cope with your grief in a way that would bring Him honor and glory.
 
alejandrea said:
My dad died in car accident 7 weeks and 3 days to this day
And I can’t help this feeling that I have of hoplessness sometimes it feels like I have a hole in my chest and I just wanted to know how can I overcome these feelings?
I want to believe that he is resting in peace and has gone to heaven to be reunited with his parents but I just look around me and I feel really empty 😦
Click to expand...
So Sorry. My Prayers are with you. My Dad died suddenly 22years ago when I was 24, a gigantic shock. The pain goes away and you will have fond memories replace the hurt. Leave it all at the foot of the Cross, Jesus will carry you through it. God Bless.
 
alejandrea said:
My dad died in car accident 7 weeks and 3 days to this day
And I can’t help this feeling that I have of hoplessness sometimes it feels like I have a hole in my chest and I just wanted to know how can I overcome these feelings?
I want to believe that he is resting in peace and has gone to heaven to be reunited with his parents but I just look around me and I feel really empty 😦
Click to expand...
Alejandra, I am so sorry for your loss. The same thing happened to me when I was 16, and there is not much that can be said to comfort you right now, but I promise you that one day you will be able to think of your Dad without all the pain, but there will always be a special place for him in your heart. I am afraid we just have to work through our grief. Stay as close to God as you can at this time, it’s not easy, I know, but it is ok to experience all these feelings, it is perfectly normal, and you willl heal. It is a good thing to talk about them. I will pray for your Dad and for you.
 
alejandrea said:
My dad died in car accident 7 weeks and 3 days to this day
And I can’t help this feeling that I have of hoplessness sometimes it feels like I have a hole in my chest and I just wanted to know how can I overcome these feelings?
I want to believe that he is resting in peace and has gone to heaven to be reunited with his parents but I just look around me and I feel really empty 😦
Click to expand...
That’s still a pretty short time ago. You have normal feelings about it.

God be with you. :signofcross:
 
Alejandrea:hug3:
Heartfelt condolences.
It is never easy loosing a parent. May your Dad rest in peace.
You will be in my prayers.
 
alejandrea said:
My dad died in car accident 7 weeks and 3 days to this day
And I can’t help this feeling that I have of hoplessness sometimes it feels like I have a hole in my chest and I just wanted to know how can I overcome these feelings?
I want to believe that he is resting in peace and has gone to heaven to be reunited with his parents but I just look around me and I feel really empty 😦
Click to expand...
natural part of grieving, sweetie, time heals, but even more, trust in God heals, turn to your Father, God and in time you will come to understand even greater closeness with your earthly father, now in eternity. You can’t force yourself to have feelings, or to lose feelings, but you can unite your grief with that of the Father, and of Mary, in the suffering and death of Jesus, so that it begins to make a bit of sense. Take the time you need and do this in prayer. We are praying with you.
 
A couple weeks before my dad’s accident we went to chicago and when we were leaving on the way home we skidded out of the road. Sometimes I can’t help but wish that we had both died together because I remember how he reacted then and I can’t help feeling so hopeless …sometimes I want to take out my heart so that it can stop hurting :crying:
 
alejandrea said:
My dad died in car accident 7 weeks and 3 days to this day
And I can’t help this feeling that I have of hoplessness sometimes it feels like I have a hole in my chest and I just wanted to know how can I overcome these feelings?
I want to believe that he is resting in peace and has gone to heaven to be reunited with his parents but I just look around me and I feel really empty 😦
Click to expand...
:grouphug:

May God bless you, and may you seek communion with othes for comfort in this time of need my dear, dear friend.
 
I am sor sorry for your loss. Time does ease the pain, it gets more bearable. Please remember to have Masses said for your dad and pray for his soul, that way you can still help him. God Bless you in this time of sorrow.
 
I’m very sorry alejandrea. This is a terrible time for you and you are very united to Jesus on the cross, suffering innocently. Do have mass said for your father if you have not done so already. And ask Our Lady to fill the void in your heart. She will do it because she loves you and will make you stronger and closer to her Son.

Dear Jesus, have mercy on this child’s agonized heart. Hear her petitions, embrace her father’s soul into Your eternal banquet of joy. Mary, pray with us. Amen. :signofcross:
 
alejandrea said:
A couple weeks before my dad’s accident we went to chicago and when we were leaving on the way home we skidded out of the road. Sometimes I can’t help but wish that we had both died together because I remember how he reacted then and I can’t help feeling so hopeless …sometimes I want to take out my heart so that it can stop hurting :crying:
Click to expand...
😦 :hug3: :grouphug:

That’s so sad! You and your father are in my prayers. I wish I had something that I could do for you to make it better.
 
I am sorry that he passed away. You, your dad and family are in my prayer. May God grant him eternal life.
 
hey guys thanks for the support 😃
My mom, brother and sister’s have all gotten masses for my dad but I haven’t since I’m between jobs.
It’s pretty weird because my dad said to me just before he died that if he did die he would be in peace because all his kids are grown up and he knows that I’ll be able to support myself I guess I can take comfort in that

I guess I feel bad because I wasn’t able to say goodbye or go to his wake or funeral. I wasn’t able to go because I don’t have my visa yet …my parents put in an application for me
Apart from that I feel guilty because I was the one to by his ticket , he wasn’t even sure about going to mexico but I encouraged him:crying:
 
My advice would be to make sure that you find a priest, sister, or perhaps a bereavement support group through your diocese, where you can go share your experience and your sorrow. Sharing with others is going to help you to keep going and to eventually get better. You may even find a way to help someone else someday who will go through the same as you have been.

And remember to pray to St. Joseph for his intercession, both for you and your father, since you can’t have masses said for your father right now. St. Joseph is a good foster father to all of us, just as he was for Jesus, and I am sure that he would listen to you as you go through this.

God bless and send you much comfort. :heaven:
 
alejandrea said:
hey guys thanks for the support 😃
My mom, brother and sister’s have all gotten masses for my dad but I haven’t since I’m between jobs.
It’s pretty weird because my dad said to me just before he died that if he did die he would be in peace because all his kids are grown up and he knows that I’ll be able to support myself I guess I can take comfort in that

I guess I feel bad because I wasn’t able to say goodbye or go to his wake or funeral. I wasn’t able to go because I don’t have my visa yet …my parents put in an application for me
Apart from that I feel guilty because I was the one to by his ticket , he wasn’t even sure about going to mexico but I encouraged him:crying:
Click to expand...
Oh dear friend, it wasn’t your fault, please, don’t think that for a second. You didn’t know. I’m sure it’s hard but you did nothing wrong and I’m confident your father would agree 100%.

God bless you :hug1:
 
alejandrea said:
My dad died in car accident 7 weeks and 3 days to this day
And I can’t help this feeling that I have of hoplessness sometimes it feels like I have a hole in my chest and I just wanted to know how can I overcome these feelings?
I want to believe that he is resting in peace and has gone to heaven to be reunited with his parents but I just look around me and I feel really empty 😦
Click to expand...
First, my condolences. And second - I understand. Over the past year, I’ve lost two parents, six months apart. The fact that they were elderly did not make it any easier. The fact that I’d been well-trained in Catholicism - well, I didn’t expect the after-shock - understanding about the death of the body - but particularly in the case of my Mom - out of my mind wondering where are their souls…I suddenly found myself asking God about my mother - “Where is she?”

As Catholics, we are supposed to believe that there is a Heaven, Hell and Purgatory. While everyone around us tells us “they’re not suffering anymore” - just because their body has died - they don’t get it ! The soul is SOMEWHERE - but where is Heaven or Purgatory - and did they make it? THAT’s the question that hits those who mourn.

Hopelessness, we are taught, is a sin. I’ve been told to trust in Our Lord’s Mercy…I DO - or I wouldn’t beg Him to help. But I don’t trust human beings - and I don’t know what God’s judgement has been for their lives or where they’ve gone. And that’s why you, as a Catholic - feel empty. It’s not the physical loss. We miss them, of course. But you’re thinking beyond this world. It’s all about the soul - knowing they’re somewhere - but where? It’s horrible. They tell you to get over it, move on or don’t dwell on it. But how? We’re searching to know where their souls - not their bodies - are. And it’s not something we were taught to expect happen. That’s the shock. I could be at peace missing my Mom but knowing she’s with God or on her way there. Not knowing - there are no words. And that’s the painful emptiness you may be feeling. The not knowing. One suggestion: Have Gregorian Masses said for the soul.
Eternal Father, I offer Thee the Wounds of Our Lord, Jesus Christ, to heal the wounds of Our Souls.
My Jesus, pardon and mercy, through the merits of Thy Sacred Wounds.
Eternal rest grant unto their souls, and let perpetual light shine upon them. May they rest in peace. Amen. May their souls and all the souls of the Faithful Departed, through the Mercy of God, rest in peace. Amen.
 
Praying from today’s Liturgy of the Hours:

… Support the oppressed, give freedom to captives, console those who mourn:
let the victory of the Cross transform everything.
After your Son was dead and buried you miraculously raised him into glory:
grant that all the dead may come to share eternal life with him.

Our Father, who art in Heaven,
hallowed be thy name.
Thy kingdom come,
thy will be done on earth as it is in heaven.
Give us this day our daily bread,
and forgive us our trespasses
as we forgive those that trespass against us,
and lead us not into temptation,
but deliver us from evil.

Almighty and ever-living God, your generosity exceeds what we deserve and even what we ask for in prayer.
Pour out your compassion on us:
forgive whatever is weighing on our consciences,
and grant us gifts that we would not even dare to pray for.

Through our Lord Jesus Christ, your Son,
who lives and reigns with you in the unity of the Holy Spirit,
God for ever and ever.
Amen.
 
dret said:
My advice would be to make sure that you find a priest, sister, or perhaps a bereavement support group through your diocese, where you can go share your experience and your sorrow. Sharing with others is going to help you to keep going and to eventually get better. You may even find a way to help someone else someday who will go through the same as you have been.

And remember to pray to St. Joseph for his intercession, both for you and your father, since you can’t have masses said for your father right now. St. Joseph is a good foster father to all of us, just as he was for Jesus, and I am sure that he would listen to you as you go through this.

God bless and send you much comfort. :heaven:
Click to expand...
Good advise. Don’t try to hack this alone, because you are not alone. Never forget that.
 
Status
Not open for further replies.
Back
Top