My daughter says she's gay

  • Thread starter Thread starter Ness
  • Start date Start date
Status
Not open for further replies.
Ness said:
My 17yo daughter sat down with me and with tears told me that she new it went against my beliefs and I would probably disown her but she was gay and had known it for several years. I took a deep breath, told her I loved her and that I always would love her. And asked her why she thought she was gay.
Click to expand...
What was her answer to the last question?
 
Attraction to persons of the same sex is not all that unusual. What I would question is the “gay” label. Is there really such a thing as a “gay person?”
 
“This topic will automatically close in 9 hours.”
 
Last edited:
Lara said:
Also, I’m curious how many conversations you’ve had with your daughter in the past about the purpose of sex within a marriage; Genesis and God’s plan for men and women, natural family planning or any other subject related to sex.
Click to expand...
Just want to kindly edit to read, " sex," period rather than “sex within a marriage” since there is, of course, no legitimate purpose for sex outside of the nuptial relationship–the communion of persons God created when He created man and woman.
 
Last edited:
Is anyone aroused by gender(s)? I have only ever experienced attraction to individuals.
 
Ryan1 said:
Is anyone aroused by gender(s)? I have only ever experienced attraction to individuals.
Click to expand...
Well, me too. But I think I’m weird that way. Many folks, I understand, find LOTS of folks arousing - whether they know them as individuals or not. Porn anyone? That’s attraction to females with certain organs, right? Regardless of whether the viewer knows them or regards them as individuals. Their bodies arouse him. Period. I think that was part of God’s design. That it takes a person like me a long time of getting to know a person personally before I can feel remotely sexually attracted if probably not the norm. I think the human race would have died out long ago if we were all so… picky. Anyway, back to the case in point: I see no reason a certain gender group with their specific bodily features/organs/general qualities could not arouse a certain individual. And if it is exclusively that person’s OWN gender, we call that “gay,” right? I think they deserve a simple way to describe to themselves what they are experiencing…
 
Last edited:
I suppose this is where there is much disagreement between us. I have experienced strong attraction towards both individual men and women. Yet I would not accept any such label as “gay,” “bi,” etc. I deny that such identities exist.

One can of course group certain behaviors: people who have ADHD, people who experience depression… but we do not speak of “ADHDers” as though their behavior or subjective experience meant that they had some sort of “mental orientation.” Do we?
 
Ryan1 said:
Yet I would not accept any such label as “gay,” “bi,” etc. I deny that such identities exist.
Click to expand...
Well, that’s just you. I’m somewhat bi, and I see no point in denying it. I’ve never acted on my attraction to women. I see “bi” as simply a statement of a fact. It’s not an identity and I don’t live a “bi lifestyle” whatever that would even be (something like David Bowie in his early career perhaps? who knows.)

I myself prefer to deny that gender identities exist, but that doesn’t make them go away. I can choose to personally ignore them, but they’re extremely important to a lot of other people in the world, as well as to the vast majority of society.
 
Last edited:
To the OP: of course it’s shaken your world. My heart aches for you both. Love her like crazy. In any way that you can without totally alienating her, urge her to celibacy. All sin has an addictive quality to it - the more we indulge a sinful urge, the more we want it and the weaker we get against it. The less she acts on this urge, the better. Being homosexual is not the end of the world, but it is still a very hard way to live, even if the world is applauding that choice like crazy. It really would be wise for her to be celibate for five years or more, and to use those years building herself up in other ways, and that would give her time to see if this is real and permanent in her life, or if it was just passing. Our culture already despised celibacy before the beginning of the LGBTQ movement. The LGBTQ movement has only made celibacy even more despised. But it really is the path of greatest wisdom.
 
Last edited:
Ryan1 said:
Is anyone aroused by gender(s)? I have only ever experienced attraction to individuals.
Click to expand...
Have you noticed any pattern in the sex of the persons to whom you’ve experienced (romantic) attraction?
 
Ryan1 said:
Yet I would not accept any such label as “gay,” “bi,” etc. I deny that such identities exist.
Click to expand...
What Is an “identity”? I imagine you mean it as something fixed, inherent, etc. but as descriptors of a persons circumstances in the present, the words may be apt.
 
So sorry to hear about your daughter…in reality…doctors don’t even know what causes homosexuality…please go the the Physchology Today website and read about. They do have some speculation, but the origin is still unresolved. I will pray for your daughter and you…
 
Affirm her that you and God loves her regardless of her sexuality. What matters is how she lives with it. She is not sinful for being gay in itself, what is sinful is committing the homosexual acts and lust. She needs your help and support to live in chastity, and abstain from sexual acts.
 
Status
Not open for further replies.
Back
Top