My father has threatened me...

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lovedance4ever

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Last night was absolutely horrible for reasons I will not go into. I’m abused by every person in the house - in other words, when they get angry, they take their anger out on me.

Well, I went out last night to escape the madness, and when I returned…I have no idea where I put his keys down. At 4:00 am, my father woke me up screaming at me, and threatening me that if I did not find his keys, he would do something. It is now 5:20 am and I still can’t find them. I am scared to death. He will hit me, I know. He does not usually put his hands on me like that, but I know he will now…I’ve never seen such hate in his eyes for me before.

Why does God hate me so? Am I being punished? I never do anything right, and whatever I choose to do always backfires on me. I am so, so, so scared right now. Please pray. Last night I was contemplating suicide again, and I drank an entire bottle of wine (I am not proud to admit this) by myself, because I just did not want to deal with reality anymore. My Lord, I am so scared. Life is just an endless circle of misery.
 
lovedance4ever said:
Last night was absolutely horrible for reasons I will not go into. I’m abused by every person in the house - in other words, when they get angry, they take their anger out on me.

Well, I went out last night to escape the madness, and when I returned…I have no idea where I put his keys down. At 4:00 am, my father woke me up screaming at me, and threatening me that if I did not find his keys, he would do something. It is now 5:20 am and I still can’t find them. I am scared to death. He will hit me, I know. He does not usually put his hands on me like that, but I know he will now…I’ve never seen such hate in his eyes for me before.

Why does God hate me so? Am I being punished? I never do anything right, and whatever I choose to do always backfires on me. I am so, so, so scared right now. Please pray. Last night I was contemplating suicide again, and I drank an entire bottle of wine (I am not proud to admit this) by myself, because I just did not want to deal with reality anymore. My Lord, I am so scared. Life is just an endless circle of misery.
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He keeps opening my bedroom door and glaring at me through the crack, too. It’s really making me nervous. 😦
 
You asked why does God Hate you so, what has God got to do with it, absolutely nothing, HE gave us all free Will, I don’t know how old you are, but if your under 18 say something to your teacher in school, otherwise if your much older and working leave the house and find some where of your own. If you are under 18, ring the Samaritans or equivalent in the States, for help and guidance to know where to go, there is plenty of help out there, but you have to look for it.

It will take courage, put your faith in the Lord, and do what you have to do for your own protection.

May the Lord always walk with you.
 
Also, you could talk to the social worker at school, if you’re a minor. If you are not a minor, and studying at college, you could talk to the counseling office. Many of those include some counseling sessions for students.
 
I know you’re female, OP, from your other thread. Nobody has the right to hit anyone and that includes your father. You do not have to live in fear of violence. Please take the advice of other people on this thread and get some support and help.

You are in my thoughts. x
 
If the situation is this bad, maybe it’s time to find some place else to live. If you are a minor, asd about foster care. I had a friend in high school who did this. Well, the reasons were different, and I don’t remember how long she stayed in, but it helped her a lot. You also might want to talk to the police since you fear physical violence. They may also be able to do something on the verbal abuse.
 
If there is the thread of physical violence, you need to remove yourself from the situation. If you are legally and adult, you should move out. If not, there are various agencies that can help you.

Do not be a victim.
 
I am not a minor, I am 20 years old. Currently, I am working on getting my own place. But it’s going to take a while. Meanwhile, in hell…lol.
 
From the information given, I’d recommend moving out first, then finding your own place. Not moving out is a conscious decision on your part to remain a victim.

And, as always, I would also recommend, at a minimum, taking self defense classes. That will help you handle situations like this is the proper manner.
 
:console: oh you poor thing! I hope you are ok and safe and that your dad didnt hit you! …it sounds like your dad overreacted alot over the missing keys…did you tell your mother about how he acted and how you felt?
 
If you are in danger, call the police.

You have numerous posts about your family and home life on this board. The only advice we can offer you, have already offered you, is that you move out.

It is your choice not to move out, but if you choose to stay then you will continue to have the same frustrations and issues. So, it seems to me your are content to stay and complain about it rather than take action to change your situation.

If the reality of your situation is that it is annoying rather than truly abusive or dangerous, then you need to make some adjustments in your reaction to the behavior of those around you. You cannot control them. You can only control you.

So, lock the bathroom door when you shower, and people will not walk in on you. Lock your own bedroom door and the same is true.
 
1ke said:
It is your choice not to move out, but if you choose to stay then you will continue to have the same frustrations and issues. So, it seems to me your are content to stay and complain about it rather than take action to change your situation.
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Its easy to suggest that the OP move out…but the OP may not have sufficient funds to do that …
 
The thing that a lot of people don’t understand is that when you grow up with abusive, controlling parents, you are not raised so that you can become an independent adult. Often, they keep you from learning to drive, from getting a job, from understanding the aspects of finances and housing and all those things which are necessary to be able to move out. Then when you need to move out for your own safety and sanity, you have no driver’s license, no money, no support, no knowledge, nobody to really ask about these things, no family or friends to stay with. It is really difficult, and insisting on working on these things while you are there causes tremendous antagonism from said parents. Sometimes, we end up looking at things from a cost-benefit ratio and try to deal with first things first in effort to maximize our chances, when we are able to get out, of living normal, productive, somewhat happy lives. Locking your door can result in abuse.

Dear OP- I understand completely- and you are in my prayers!
 
lovedance4ever said:
Last night was absolutely horrible for reasons I will not go into. I’m abused by every person in the house - in other words, when they get angry, they take their anger out on me.

Well, I went out last night to escape the madness, and when I returned…I have no idea where I put his keys down. At 4:00 am, my father woke me up screaming at me, and threatening me that if I did not find his keys, he would do something. It is now 5:20 am and I still can’t find them. I am scared to death. He will hit me, I know. He does not usually put his hands on me like that, but I know he will now…I’ve never seen such hate in his eyes for me before.

Why does God hate me so? Am I being punished? I never do anything right, and whatever I choose to do always backfires on me. I am so, so, so scared right now. Please pray. Last night I was contemplating suicide again, and I drank an entire bottle of wine (I am not proud to admit this) by myself, because I just did not want to deal with reality anymore. My Lord, I am so scared. Life is just an endless circle of misery.
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call the police and check in with an shelter for abused women and get out.
 
salve_maria said:
The thing that a lot of people don’t understand is that when you grow up with abusive, controlling parents, you are not raised so that you can become an independent adult. Often, they keep you from learning to drive, from getting a job, from understanding the aspects of finances and housing and all those things which are necessary to be able to move out. Then when you need to move out for your own safety and sanity, you have no driver’s license, no money, no support, no knowledge, nobody to really ask about these things, no family or friends to stay with. It is really difficult, and insisting on working on these things while you are there causes tremendous antagonism from said parents. Sometimes, we end up looking at things from a cost-benefit ratio and try to deal with first things first in effort to maximize our chances, when we are able to get out, of living normal, productive, somewhat happy lives. Locking your door can result in abuse.

Dear OP- I understand completely- and you are in my prayers!
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This is all too true.

OP:
Go to the priest and ask him if there is a family that will take you in and allow you to pay a small bit of “rent” to compensate them for utilities, etc. Let him know that you are working on getting enough together for a small place of your own, or a “room-mate” sort of situation. Surely there is a single older woman, or a family that has a spare room.
GO TO THE CHURCH and plead for help. They will keep it confidential. Make no excuses to your family. Just pack a few essentials and GO. Don’t look back. When they are ready to reconcile, you will know it. But it will not be soon. Don’t run back even if they beg you.
Take these steps. You are old enough now. Do it. Or expect that nothing will ever change.
You are in our prayers.
God does not expect you to be a doormat. There is no virtue in being a victim. You must help yourself. GOD WILL HELP YOU. But seek a safe place.
Peace
pianist
 
Sounds like you used your father’s vehicle when you left last night? Without permission? Perhaps you should not have done that, considering the situation?
 
crystal_waters said:
Its easy to suggest that the OP move out…but the OP may not have sufficient funds to do that …
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The OP has been posting the same stuff for 2 YEARS. The OP is in college. The OP has options to live in the dorm she does not exercise. The OP can get a job.

Many people have posted many suggestions and resources for 2 years now.

I do not lack compassion for the OP. But, after all of the apparently life threatening people and instances in her life-- her parents, her aunt, the neighbors with a rifle pointed at her, and many serious illnesses she states that she has, plus a stalker guy who threatened rape, a boyfriend from India, and so on… Yes-- Color me skeptical at this point.

“If this is an emergency, hang up and dial 911”

The OP indicates suicidal ideation. I think at this point, the OP needs some serious counseling and help IRL. I urge her to go to the campus counselor and get help.

OP please call 800-273-8255 and also your school campus counselor.
 
1ke said:
The OP has been posting the same stuff for 2 YEARS. The OP is in college. The OP has options to live in the dorm she does not exercise.
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The dorm sounds like an obviously good option to have …
 
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