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My friend's GF (Wiccan) (also annoying) needs a place to stay for a month
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SamH
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I fail to see how directing a homeless person (that you can’t take in) to a homeless shelter and making a donation to defray the cost of their stay is uncharitable.That’s harsh even for you, Sam.
We’re called to charity, remember?
Much better than suggesting the OP and or his friends are amoral or simply suggesting that you leave the woman to her own devices as some other posters have done.
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nurseryworker
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I’m the kind of Catholic who sins, a lot, but tries not to. Kicked out has the connotation that she was singled out for some behaviour. Since she needs to vacate for the Christmas break - I still wouldn’t let a Wiccan witch stay in my home because I have zero desire to invite the occult and anything else supernatural that is not of God into my home.
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CAROLOFTHEBELLS
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It doesn’t work that way. You can’t buy a place for someone in a homeless shelter by making a donation to defray the cost. Homeless shelters are often full up, especially at this time of year. She would need to stand in a long line hoping to get in each and every night. A good example on film would be the movie The Pursuit of Happiness.
Besides that, it comes off as dismissive and as a put down. If things are so bad that she would need to go to a homeless shelter, she will find one or ask her boyfriend to help her find one. To offer would be to call her destitute and homeless when she may not actually consider herself to be that low.
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InJesusItrust
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Jesus answered, “A certain man was going down from Jerusalem to Jericho, and he fell among robbers, who both stripped him and beat him, and departed, leaving him half dead. By chance a certain priest was going down that way. When he saw him, he passed by on the other side. In the same way a Levite also, when he came to the place, and saw him, passed by on the other side. But a certain Samaritan, as he travelled, came where he was. When he saw him, he was moved with compassion, came to him, and bound up his wounds, pouring on oil and wine. He set him on his own animal, and brought him to an inn, and took care of him. On the next day, when he departed, he took out two denarii, and gave them to the host, and said to him, ‘Take care of him. Whatever you spend beyond that, I will repay you when I return.’ Now which of these three do you think seemed to be a neighbour to him who fell among the robbers?”
He said, “He who showed mercy on him.”
Then Jesus said to him, “Go and do.”
en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Parable_of_the_Good_Samaritan#Samaritans_and_Jesus
He said, “He who showed mercy on him.”
Then Jesus said to him, “Go and do.”
en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Parable_of_the_Good_Samaritan#Samaritans_and_Jesus
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George_Stegmeir
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I have read all the responses in this thread carefully, and I am not going to debate this issue any further. I am just going to draw a conclusion.
For those you who say Jesus would take the girl in, you are 100% wrong. Jesus, being a single man and an Orthodox Jew, would never, ever be alone with a female other than his mother. Therefore, he would not have offered the girl a place to stay in his abode. That sort of behavior during the time of Christ was simply not tolerated by anyone, except possibly a pagan.
As for offering the lady a place to stay because it is “the Christian thing to do” especially at Christmas is not good advice because no matter what religion or lack of one the girl has she is still not married to either young man. Therefore, the single young man in question would be seriously putting himself in the occasion of sin by having her sleep under his roof-sofa or no sofa. This occasion of sin trumps any charitable intent.
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ValPal
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I read through this whole thread and this last post makes the most sense. If it were me and I were single, sorry, but someone of the opposite sex isn’t going to be living with me. Those are the grounds rules and their not going to be broken.
Furthermore, the boyfriend should be stepping up to the plate. I would not ask any of my males friends to have my girlfriend move in with them. The boyfriend should be taking care of the situation himself, not passing his or his girlfriend’s problems onto others.
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SamH
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Could you point out in my post where I suggested that was the case?
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maryjk
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Bryan, can you give us more information?
Are you male or female? That makes a big difference and although Brian is traditionally a boy’s name, I am not sure about Bryan.
Is there truly no where else for her to stay? What about the boyfriend? Does he have family around? I know she doesn’t have money for a plane ticket, what about a bus ticket? Can her boyfriend help with finances? Has she checked with the school? Schools that close down for the break normally have options for students that can’t make it home. Has she looked into these options?
Who well do you know this girl? Do you trust her? She will have a key to your place, be sleeping in your home, do you trust her enough for that? You have said that she is annoying. How annoying? Will you be at each others throats by the end of the month?
This isn’t a simple decision. It isn’t something you should jump into or simply turn down. You need to really think about it.
Are you male or female? That makes a big difference and although Brian is traditionally a boy’s name, I am not sure about Bryan.
Is there truly no where else for her to stay? What about the boyfriend? Does he have family around? I know she doesn’t have money for a plane ticket, what about a bus ticket? Can her boyfriend help with finances? Has she checked with the school? Schools that close down for the break normally have options for students that can’t make it home. Has she looked into these options?
Who well do you know this girl? Do you trust her? She will have a key to your place, be sleeping in your home, do you trust her enough for that? You have said that she is annoying. How annoying? Will you be at each others throats by the end of the month?
This isn’t a simple decision. It isn’t something you should jump into or simply turn down. You need to really think about it.
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InJesusItrust
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Are we talking about the same God who broke the Sabbath, did not wash His hands according to custom, dined with tax collectors and allowed a woman to cry over and anoint his feet? The same God who told Jews that they had to eat His flesh?
1 Samuel 16:7 But the LORD said to Samuel, “Do not consider his appearance or his height, for I have rejected him. The LORD does not look at the things man looks at. Man looks at the outward appearance, but the LORD looks at the heart.”
If there is no lust than all the judgement by others is merely one of appearance.
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mafh
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Oh come now… First, Jesus was hardly orthodox for his day – wasn’t he considered quite the non-conformist? I mean he practiced itinerant preaching instead of traditional family life, didn’t follow the dietary laws, etc. Additionally, wasn’t he quite revolutionary in his treatment of women for the time, and isn’t it true that apart from the 12 disciples that he had a much larger group of itinerant followers that included women? If there aren’t any records attesting to this fact, one can’t say for certain what Jesus would have done in this situation. But based on descriptions of his treatment of other people, I think it’s safe to say that his primary concern would be the well-being of the lady, and any concerns about ‘scandal’ would be far secondary (if existent). I don’t recall any Biblical descriptions that indicate scandal was a big theme with him.
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Peter_Plato
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Absolutely true, and if it were God in the situation of the opening post it is guaranteed he would do the right thing. However, the person from the opening post is not God, he is a man (apparently), who, as the quotation from 1 Samuel points out, like all men will have severe limitations on how things are perceived and, therefore, acted upon. The individual from the OP may be a saint and might be able to deal with the situation, but even St. Francis had to throw himself on a thorn bush to thwart his lust, so it would seem to be that courting a potential disaster might be a prudentially unwise course of action.
It is advocating wandering “close to the edge” without necessity. This girl likely has many options despite the fact only one “appears” to be a live one. Again, as your quote says, men tend to judge by appearances. The question is what is at the “heart” of the entire situation? Why is he even considering the request from his friend?
This is not necessarily a Good Samaritan parallel, as you claimed. The following is an uncannily prophetic passage from Proverbs. Ponder it, seriously and think about the consequences of ignoring its wisdom and what the reasons “of the heart” could be as to why someone might to choose to ignore it.
If wisdom shall enter into your heart, and knowledge please your soul: Counsel shall keep you, and prudence shall preserve you, that you may be delivered from the evil way, and from the man that speaks perverse things: Who leave the right way, and walk by dark ways: Who are glad when they have done evil, and rejoice in the most wicked things: Whose ways are perverse, and their steps infamous. That you may be delivered from the strange woman, and from the stranger, who softens her words; and forsakes the guide of her youth, and has forgotten the covenant of her God: for her house inclines unto death, and her paths to hell. None that go in unto her, shall return again, neither shall they take hold of the paths of life. (Proverbs 2: 10-19)
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ValPal
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We’re viewing the past through a modern mindset. Having single woman living with an unrelated man (Rabbi, in fact) in that time frame and area is just something that wouldn’t even enter into anyone’s mind; it’s simply not a possibility.
Furthermore, the woman we are talking about isn’t in any serious situation. She had months to plan for the inevitable, and didn’t do so. She had complete control of the situation from the beginning and chose to pass.
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CAROLOFTHEBELLS
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I’m sorry if I misunderstood. Put concisely, I believe your suggestion was make a donation and give a map. You did not suggest “buying” a place in the shelter for the young woman, as I put it. Yet, making a donation to the shelter does nothing to help the woman. It might help to assage some guilt from not getting directly involved, not that I think he should, but it does not help her one bit.
The logical results of going donating money to a shelter and giving the person a map to it are: The donation will certainly help the homeless shelter to defray the cost of their operation. The map will help the person to find the way to a shelter if transportation is not a problem. The homeless shelter may or may not have room for the young lady on any given night out of a month of nights. End result: Giving money to the homeless shelter benefits many people, but doesn’t necessarily benefit her. Giving a map to the homeless shelter helps her to find a resource, but also gives frustration as she competes with many others for a place to sleep - each night for an entire month.
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SamH
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Exactly.
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Allegra
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I wrote a post about how it didn’t really sound like a big deal to me. (except that the story about the dorm throwing her out for a three-week break does sound like BS) But that was before I realized that OP was male. I would say the whole idea is extremely inappropriate. I assumed the reason that the girlfriend would be staying with the OP was because the OP was also a girl. Why doesn’t the girlfriend stay with her boyfriend’s family or a female friend?
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Bran_Stark
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Although the Torah may have commanded us to “not suffer a witch to live”, it seems to me that modern-day “wiccans” have very little in common with such creatures, despite the use of the word “witch”. So I really don’t think that neopagans deserve to be treated any differently from a Hindu or a Buddhist or an atheist.
Also, I find it very interesting that she is “strongly pro-life”.
Also, I find it very interesting that she is “strongly pro-life”.
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BlueEyedLady
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Both colleges I attended for undergrad closed the dorms for break because the RAs and RDs went home too. At the first one I attended it was $50/day to stay, and my second college didn’t let kids stay at all.
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Bryan77
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Thanks for all the (name removed by moderator)ut guys! Sorry it took so long for me to get back. I haven’t been on my computer lately.
I think one reason she can’t stay with her BF is because he is 19 and lives with this parents, and they said no. (I didn’t specifically ask for details, so I’m just speculating. It makes the most sense.) Also, my friend didn’t ask me to take her in. (I haven’t even talked to him yet) We’re not super close friends or anything, but we hang out once in a while. I figured she asked me of her own accord, because she knows me.
Also the whole conversation was done online, and my response initially was technically the truth. I said that my own living situation is a bit messed up, and I may need to move back in with my parents. Granted, If that happens it will be a few months down the line. I just didn’t tell her when, but led her to believe that it might be soon. (A white lie that was technically not a lie?) I figured that would be nicer than simply saying “no”.
A few people mentioned the bus idea. I actually checked online and found that a round trip from here to a bigger city right next to her’s (on the dates she needs) was only $240. I figure that’s WAY cheaper than pulling your weight for a month, and should be easy to get a hold of by either her parents, (or if they really don’t have any money) I can’t see why her friends wouldn’t be willing to help pitch in.
I told her the idea about the bus and how much it will cost. and her response online was a simple “thanks for the info…” I don’t know what that means. She obviously didn’t sound very excited about that idea. Some people brought up the point that she had many months to prepare for this, yet didn’t. I wont judge, maybe she honestly didn’t know, and this was all a surprise to her. But I have to admit, that its kind of weird that her response to the bus was “thanks for the info…” No followup questions, about how to raise the money or anything. I wonder if maybe she just doesn’t want to go home or something. I don’t know. The whole situation is weird.
I already decided that I will not house her for a month. If literally none of her friends had money to pitch in, I would pay the bus fare myself, just to help someone stay off the street (I would still find it fishy if she can’t raise any of the funds) She didn’t seem too excited about taking the bus home, or even ask for help on that. so I don’t know. I feel that I did what I could, and the rest is all her.
I think one reason she can’t stay with her BF is because he is 19 and lives with this parents, and they said no. (I didn’t specifically ask for details, so I’m just speculating. It makes the most sense.) Also, my friend didn’t ask me to take her in. (I haven’t even talked to him yet) We’re not super close friends or anything, but we hang out once in a while. I figured she asked me of her own accord, because she knows me.
Also the whole conversation was done online, and my response initially was technically the truth. I said that my own living situation is a bit messed up, and I may need to move back in with my parents. Granted, If that happens it will be a few months down the line. I just didn’t tell her when, but led her to believe that it might be soon. (A white lie that was technically not a lie?) I figured that would be nicer than simply saying “no”.
A few people mentioned the bus idea. I actually checked online and found that a round trip from here to a bigger city right next to her’s (on the dates she needs) was only $240. I figure that’s WAY cheaper than pulling your weight for a month, and should be easy to get a hold of by either her parents, (or if they really don’t have any money) I can’t see why her friends wouldn’t be willing to help pitch in.
I told her the idea about the bus and how much it will cost. and her response online was a simple “thanks for the info…” I don’t know what that means. She obviously didn’t sound very excited about that idea. Some people brought up the point that she had many months to prepare for this, yet didn’t. I wont judge, maybe she honestly didn’t know, and this was all a surprise to her. But I have to admit, that its kind of weird that her response to the bus was “thanks for the info…” No followup questions, about how to raise the money or anything. I wonder if maybe she just doesn’t want to go home or something. I don’t know. The whole situation is weird.
I already decided that I will not house her for a month. If literally none of her friends had money to pitch in, I would pay the bus fare myself, just to help someone stay off the street (I would still find it fishy if she can’t raise any of the funds) She didn’t seem too excited about taking the bus home, or even ask for help on that. so I don’t know. I feel that I did what I could, and the rest is all her.
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TheRealJuliane
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Sounds as though there might be much more to this situation than you know. Family problems come to mind. The natural thing would be for her to go home during the Christmas break, but maybe she’s not welcome at home? Just speculating - it is odd that she would respond that way. Seriously, if she has known she would have to leave, and she doesn’t have a place to stay by now, something is wrong. I think you are very smart not to get involved with this situation. I don’t think she’d even take you up on the offer to pay her bus fare home.
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