D
Dorothy
Guest
Keep praying for him and do some fasting as well. Prayer changes things! The Lord can arrange His graces to aid him!
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K
Kindnessmatters
Guest
I want to share with you that when I was in my late teens/early twenties, my boyfriend came out as gay. I knew for some time breaking up was inevitable before this and was able to quickly accept the breakup. In fact, I wanted to be a good friend to him and support him in a difficult time so committed to be the best friend I could be…
In retrospect, my efforts to be the best female friend were detrimental to me. My needs were ignored and everything was about what made him comfortable and supported him. These were years when I should have been dating more and surrounding myself with people who had similar goals to.my own.
I have had many, many gay male friends and while they were supportive in some ways, they certainly did not support me in my faith, and my friendships with them acted as barriers to my own opportunities. In fact, they acted very immature when I had dates, and lashed out with jealousy.
This was when AIDS was emerging and incurable with very poor odds for long term survival and several acted like your friend. Very promiscuous. Several of them died. The lifestyle was far more hedonistic than that of my straight friends.
Everything was over the top and everything was about being gay with them.
If I had it to do over again, I would not have maintained the friendships. As my good (straight) friend Marlon once told me, “we do not owe it to others to throw ourselves on the fire to keep them warm”. It is not a matter of homophobia…it’s about putting yourself in a situation that supports your values, faith and the future you wish to have. I was never outrageous, flamboyant, promiscuous…I was never anything but straight as a ruler. With them, I learned to fit into their version of society, not my own.
In retrospect, my efforts to be the best female friend were detrimental to me. My needs were ignored and everything was about what made him comfortable and supported him. These were years when I should have been dating more and surrounding myself with people who had similar goals to.my own.
I have had many, many gay male friends and while they were supportive in some ways, they certainly did not support me in my faith, and my friendships with them acted as barriers to my own opportunities. In fact, they acted very immature when I had dates, and lashed out with jealousy.
This was when AIDS was emerging and incurable with very poor odds for long term survival and several acted like your friend. Very promiscuous. Several of them died. The lifestyle was far more hedonistic than that of my straight friends.
Everything was over the top and everything was about being gay with them.
If I had it to do over again, I would not have maintained the friendships. As my good (straight) friend Marlon once told me, “we do not owe it to others to throw ourselves on the fire to keep them warm”. It is not a matter of homophobia…it’s about putting yourself in a situation that supports your values, faith and the future you wish to have. I was never outrageous, flamboyant, promiscuous…I was never anything but straight as a ruler. With them, I learned to fit into their version of society, not my own.
I
Irishmom2
Guest
Excellent post, @Kindnessmatters.
S
skz
Guest
I got locked out of my account because I forgot the password but i’m back to talk now. I’m sorry your friends were like that but he isn’t. I doubt he respects my beliefs but we’ve both been able to avoid bringing it up. I talked to him about the hookups without making it seem like the problem is his sexuality and he still wanted to argue with me but he’s not seeing a new guy every week now and is just sticking with one guy but they’re not dating. It’s better than before and he’s way too busy now (like me) to be doing it often. He’s basically my best guy-best friend and I can’t imagine not being his friend.
K
Kindnessmatters
Guest
Tread carefully. I am sure I’m a lot older than you and I learned the hard way that it is very hard to practice my faith fully while being a very close friend with someone who doesn’t respect my religion. In short, my life is ABOUT my faith…it defines and drives and directs me. When someone doesn’t respect and accept my faith as valuable, they are devaluing most of what matters to me and most of who I am.
Of course I understand you love your friend. Just don’t let the friendship lead you to compromises that separate you from your own values. Perhaps also actively seek Catholic friends so you have support in your faith from like minded people.
Of course I understand you love your friend. Just don’t let the friendship lead you to compromises that separate you from your own values. Perhaps also actively seek Catholic friends so you have support in your faith from like minded people.
E
EndTimes
Guest
Catholic… Church …He’s scaring me these days, he used to be catholic and we met at church but he left the church because he no longer believes in God and doesn’t want to live a chaste life.
Sounds to me as if he had little to zero actual FAITH in JESUS to begin with
With courage - tell him how you reject his behavioralisms…
)
S
skz
Guest
Sorry but I won’t abandon my friend over his sexuality. Right now he needs a friend more than anything and he doesn’t have much. If our relationship ever comes to that then I’ll deal with that then but I’m not going to abandon a hurting friend because of what might happen in the future.
S
skz
Guest
He used to like coming to church until he came to terms with his sexuality. I won’t tell him that I reject his behaviour because that will no doubt make him push me away.
B
brecc
Guest
I have lurked on this forum for a couple months now on various topics, but this is the one that made me decide to register an account. In particular because of some of your observations about your friend who you say
As the years went by I grasped more and more toward fantasies of being dominated and used as well as participating in actual experiences of this. I don’t claim to yet have anything approaching full insight into my desires and the source of them, however, I am prepared to say that I think that being driven by sexual desires like this are a sign of one’s feeling of worthlessness, of being void, of emptiness, etc,. You really do become more and more ‘the object of your desires’ with regard to how you see and experience yourself and your ‘place’ with regard to others.
You end up so deep in your own lower, animal nature that sooner or later almost anything that degrades one or puts one in some form of submission will be arousing. The person gets a ‘release’ or ‘escape’ through these experiences in a similar way that an alcoholic or drug user does.
This may not be received well by some, but people who masturbate compulsively are seeking after an experience of the divine which they are getting a deformed experience of in those brief seconds of ecstatic experience of ‘release’.
…
This stood out for me enough to register an account. This cross has also been the predominant one that I have carried. I was raised in the Church myself, until my parents divorced and my mother moved with us to another town and out of Catholic school to the public system (my mother was raised in and is more a Catholic than my father, change of system was due to costs not abandoning the Church). I began seeing men a little earlier than your friend in my teens, when I was living with my father.always talks about how he likes being abused and handled roughly in bed.
As the years went by I grasped more and more toward fantasies of being dominated and used as well as participating in actual experiences of this. I don’t claim to yet have anything approaching full insight into my desires and the source
You end up so deep in your own lower, animal nature that sooner or later almost anything that degrades one or puts one in some form of submission will be arousing. The person gets a ‘release’ or ‘escape’ through these experiences in a similar way that an alcoholic or drug user does.
This may not be received well by some, but people who masturbate compulsively are seeking after an experience of the divine which they are getting a deformed experience of in those brief seconds of ecstatic experience of ‘release’.
…
B
brecc
Guest
…
I might digress from the topic a bit here, but I hope it will be of value.
I have always been interested, deeply, in spiritual and philosophical matters. (I have had an autoimmune illness since I was about two years old and I suppose that the experiences through that have drawn my mind toward the ‘what’s the point of it all?’ questions a little moreso than my peers.) So it did not matter how I was living, I was still studying that. Predominately, what appealed to me was the New Age and Eastern mysticism. If I looked to anything ‘Abrahamic’ it would have been the likes of Kabbalah and Gnosticism.
In the Eastern meditation systems that I investigated and somewhat practiced, masturbation and sexual activity were not expressed as mortally sinful but certainly as part of the ‘lower animal nature’ and therefore a roadblock to greater spiritual advancement and as something that would keep you polarised in that lower animal self.
All of these spiritual studies and practices prepared me to come back to the Catholic church although I would not have thought that this would be likely at the time, indeed I thought that I was studying something more advanced than anything that could be offered by Catholicism… the truth was the opposite. Nobody ever told me that Catholics meditate! (If you ask me this is one of the best kept secrets in the world!)
So, in the beginning of my 29th year (end of 2019) I did a rather strict fast for physical health reasons. During this period I came across some Catholic YouTubers that I found myself opening to and this was followed up by me taking down the Bible from my cupboard and reading regularly. I remember the night that midnight mass was on wanting to go very much but in the end not quite having the courage. I went to the first Sunday Mass of 2020 and had quite a profound experience there. The Holy Spirit called me back without a doubt. I knew I needed confession as soon as possible. I have continued to need confession fairly regularly as I have battled with my sins. At Ash Wednesday Mass yesterday, I felt resolve to battle even more intensely. It is not easy, though.
I have lived over a decade for the most part doing whatever I will, certainly all of my adult life. I did not have a change of heart because someone else pointed a finger of judgement or condemnation - there have been times where this only served to bolster my own defense to a perceived offense. I did not even change direction because I felt wrong within myself, at least not on a conscious and immediate level. That great power of God awoke Truth in me and led me to the view that I accept what God says is true, even if I do not as yet fully understand it or it is uncomfortable.
The best guides I’ve had over the years treated me with compassion and respect. I think it was St. Francis who said: "The deeds you do may be the only sermon some persons will hear today.”.
I apologise if I have been more self-indulgent than helpful! If this all appears a bit disjointed, that is because I am in the thick of it!
I might digress from the topic a bit here, but I hope it will be of value.
I have always been interested, deeply, in spiritual and philosophical matters. (I have had an autoimmune illness since I was about two years old and I suppose that the experiences through that have drawn my mind toward the ‘what’s the point of it all?’ questions a little moreso than my peers.) So it did not matter how I was living, I was still studying that. Predominately, what appealed to me was the New Age and Eastern mysticism. If I looked to anything ‘Abrahamic’ it would have been the likes of Kabbalah and Gnosticism.
In the Eastern meditation systems that I investigated and somewhat practiced, masturbation and sexual activity were not expressed as mortally sinful but certainly as part of the ‘lower animal nature’ and therefore a roadblock to greater spiritual advancement and as something that would keep you polarised in that lower animal self.
All of these spiritual studies and practices prepared me to come back to the Catholic church although I would not have thought that this would be likely at the time, indeed I thought that I was studying something more advanced than anything that could be offered by Catholicism… the truth was the opposite. Nobody ever told me that Catholics meditate! (If you ask me this is one of the best kept secrets in the world!)
So, in the beginning of my 29th year (end of 2019) I did a rather strict fast for physical health reasons. During this period I came across some Catholic YouTubers that I found myself opening to and this was followed up by me taking down the Bible from my cupboard and reading regularly. I remember the night that midnight mass was on wanting to go very much but in the end not quite having the courage. I went to the first Sunday Mass of 2020 and had quite a profound experience there. The Holy Spirit called me back without a doubt. I knew I needed confession as soon as possible. I have continued to need confession fairly regularly as I have battled with my sins. At Ash Wednesday Mass yesterday, I felt resolve to battle even more intensely. It is not easy, though.
I have lived over a decade for the most part doing whatever I will, certainly all of my adult life. I did not have a change of heart because someone else pointed a finger of judgement or condemnation - there have been times where this only served to bolster my own defense to a perceived offense. I did not even change direction because I felt wrong within myself, at least not on a conscious and immediate level. That great power of God awoke Truth in me and led me to the view that I accept what God says is true, even if I do not as yet fully understand it or it is uncomfortable.
The best guides I’ve had over the years treated me with compassion and respect. I think it was St. Francis who said: "The deeds you do may be the only sermon some persons will hear today.”.
I apologise if I have been more self-indulgent than helpful! If this all appears a bit disjointed, that is because I am in the thick of it!
E
EndTimes
Guest
OK .He used to like coming to church until he came to terms with his sexuality. I won’t tell him that I reject his behaviour because that will no doubt make him push me away.
Yet your hiding your mind - could be akin to his viewing you as assenting to Grave Sin - in which he - if he never repents - is as is said - putting himself in danger - such as he shall not go to Heaven… Yes?
There’s less direct ways and means by which to display that you’re not - say - pro-active-homosexuality
Such as not laughing at homo-sexual-related joking, etc…
What are you going to do?
B
Beka
Guest
Oh most beautiful flower of Mount Carmel, fruitful vine, splendor of Heaven, Blessed Mother of the Son of God. Immaculate Virgin, assist me in my necessity. Oh Star of the Sea, help me and show me here you are my Mother. Oh Holy Mother Mary, Mother of God, Queen of Heaven and Earth, I humble beseech you from the bottom of my heart to succor me in my necessity(please help my family). There are none that can withstand your power O Mary, conceived without sin prayer for us who have recourse to thee(say three times). Holy Mary, I place this prayer in your hands (say three times). Say this prayer for three consecutive days each time followed by 3 Our Fathers, 3 Hail Mary’s, 3 Glory Be to the Father.
Then you must publish it and it will be granted.
Thank you Blessed Virgin for hearing my prayers.
Then you must publish it and it will be granted.
Thank you Blessed Virgin for hearing my prayers.
E
EndTimes
Guest
The Souls of UnRepentant Active Homosexuals are in Grave DangerHe’s scaring me these days, he used to be catholic and we met at church but he left the church because he no longer believes in God and doesn’t want to live a chaste life.
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