My girlfriend cheated

  • Thread starter Thread starter RichieR
  • Start date Start date
Status
Not open for further replies.
R

RichieR

Guest
My girlfriend cheated on me with her exboyfriend. She told me she was sorry and didn’t mean for it to happen and that she loves me. And that it only was a mintue or two. But I don’t know what to do. I love her and don’t want to leave her. But I feel betrayed and that I don’t understand why she would do this to me. Please any advice that that will help. God bless all of you.
 
Sorry!

Honestly, if she can’t take a relationship seriously enough to not cheat…how will she take marriage seriously enough?

It doesn’t matter if you love her…she has to love you back…doing something like this shows a total lack of respect for you and it’s obvious she doesn’t care about you.

Dump her. You’ll regret it later when you marry her and she cheats on you again. You want to take that chance?

You are discerning marriage. This is a HUGE, MASSIVE red flag.

Run in the opposite direction and don’t look back.
 
There is really too little to go on here, and so many unanswered questions come up. How old are you first of all? And what do you mean by cheated for a minute or two? How long has she been your girlfriend?
 
RichieR said:
My girlfriend cheated on me with her exboyfriend. She told me she was sorry and didn’t mean for it to happen and that she loves me. And that it only was a mintue or two. But I don’t know what to do. I love her and don’t want to leave her. But I feel betrayed and that I don’t understand why she would do this to me. Please any advice that that will help. God bless all of you.
Click to expand...
I think we would need more information. What did she do, for only a minute or two? How old are you two?
 
I agree, not enough information.

Define “cheating.” Did she talk to him? Kiss him? Go way beyond kissing? How much way-beyond kissing can go on in a minute or two? :confused:

How long did she date him? How long has she dated you?

Are you even old enough to “go steady”? People are far too eager to pair up exclusively far too soon these days, in my opinion.

Realistically, unless you offered her a ring and she put it on, there is no obligation to being exclusive. And if you’re not exclusive, there is no cheating.

So, spill it! Then we can offer some concrete advice.
 
11 months. And it was with her ex bf… like he was over her house with her and her sister because they are all friends. And he like was fingering her under the blankets. And it she didn’t make him stop until he has already been doing it for a mintue or 2… but she did stop him. And I know she feels bad about it. And she loves me. I just don’t understand why it would take her a mintue to stop him… and I know I’m supposed to forgive but its hard. And I’m 19 by the way.
 
IF you love this person alot you will forgive her, how much do you lover her?

i agree with the two people here that have something to say. But it will be your choice if you can trust her again. Can you trust her as much as you did? You should talk to her and tell her why she kissed him, Does she still love him?
 
RichieR said:
11 months. And it was with her ex bf… like he was over her house with her and her sister because they are all friends. And he like was fingering her under the blankets. And it she didn’t make him stop until he has already been doing it for a mintue or 2… but she did stop him. And I know she feels bad about it. And she loves me. I just don’t understand why it would take her a mintue to stop him… and I know I’m supposed to forgive but its hard. And I’m 19 by the way.
Click to expand...
tell her why she still hangs around with him?
:mad::confused:😦
 
RichieR said:
11 months. And it was with her ex bf… like he was over her house with her and her sister because they are all friends. And he like was fingering her under the blankets. And it she didn’t make him stop until he has already been doing it for a mintue or 2… but she did stop him. And I know she feels bad about it. And she loves me. I just don’t understand why it would take her a mintue to stop him… and I know I’m supposed to forgive but its hard. And I’m 19 by the way.
Click to expand...
Okay, major red flag if your girlfriend of 11 months is under a blanket with anyone. Then, if she is under a blanket with her ex. You give her too much credit, she shouldn’t have stopped him after a couple of minutes (her story by the way) because it never should have been happening. She feels bad because she should feel bad.

I am not so sure she loves you or she wouldn’t be doing any of what she was doing.

Forgive her for her cheating if you can, but break it off. You are too young for this kind of treatment. There are plenty of girls that wouldn’t do what she did. Don’t be a doormat.
 
RichieR said:
11 months. And it was with her ex bf… like he was over her house with her and her sister because they are all friends. And he like was fingering her under the blankets. And it she didn’t make him stop until he has already been doing it for a mintue or 2… but she did stop him. And I know she feels bad about it. And she loves me. I just don’t understand why it would take her a mintue to stop him… and I know I’m supposed to forgive but its hard. And I’m 19 by the way.
Click to expand...
That is serious.

She let him get that intimate with her before he went that far.

Personally…if my husband had told me something like that happened before we were married , and while we were dating, that would be it…I wouldn’t trust him anymore, period.

I’d end the relationship right then and there and couldn’t care less about how “sorry” he was.

Marriage is different. But a boyfriend/girlfriend relationship? I wouldn’t put up with that.
 
She shouldn’t even be behaving that way with you! Time to call it off.

A clean cut heals faster, by the way.
 
Forgive her, forget about her, and move on with your life. She has major issues that she needs to address on her own. It is not your job to rescue her through a relationship.
 
Game over.

She’s not trustworthy and has proven it so.

Find a girlfriend who will be faithful.
 
I have no advice, but I pray you have the grace to forigve her, I’m so sorry that happened to you 😦
 
You say you love her, so I would think she knows that. Is this part of a larger pattern? Does she hang out with him often? Do you think she is the kind of girl who would*** use your love against you***? I don’t know her, so I can’t answer. Regardless, its your relationship and your choice.
 
I would forgive her, but speaking from a failed marriage after my then-girlfriend cheated on me, I would recommend breaking up.
 
Aside from the advice posted above about forgiving and letting go, here’s another option:

First, you forgive her. Then the both of you sit down and talk. Communicate. If you want to give her another chance, and if you both want to make it work you have to talk and set conditions: one of which is to make her realize that you she has earn back your trust.

If all this fails, you have the advice posted above as your recourse.
 
Ask a few questions.
  • Why is your girlfriend hanging around with her ex boyfriend when she has you?
  • Why is your girlfriend getting under the covers with any man at all?
  • Is the length of time an act went on relevant?
But the most important one.
You are worth more than that!

Whilst we are all called to forgive others this does not mean forgiveness entails continuing the relationship. Actions such as this give you an eye opener to the type of person prior to marriage and it probably a blessing you can’t see yet.
 
Just be careful that when you’re communicating she doesn’t con you back with some sob story about ‘I love you so I won’t do it again.’ Love is a choice; a conviction, if you will. If she lacks said conviction to not go under a blanket with her ex, does she really love you? It becomes a vicious cycle of cheat, lie, -]repeat/-] recheat.
 
Status
Not open for further replies.
Back
Top