My girlfriend is apparently anti-Catholic :(

[Dorothy]

I know you guys are making sense but I just don’t know. A friend of mine who also used to date a Protestant advised me to try to clear up some of her misconceptions just so she realises I am a Christian and not “stuck” in some horrible religion. I am going to try that but if she still feels the same way after that I guess I’ll have no choice but to end it. It just really surprised me I feel almost betrayed that she honesty thinks I don’t know Christ after all the times we’ve talked about God and prayed with and for each other

It is good to remember that when a Catholic marries a Protestant, there needs to be an agreement that the children will be raised Catholic.

It is always best to marry someone who believes the same about the Lord as you do.

 

[ClearWater]

What faith is your girlfriend?

It’s actually very good these issues are coming out now rather than after you fell totally in love, were married and had some children.

It’ll hurt, but really the Church strongly encourages us to go with other Catholics for marriage. In the future, try to consider anyone you date as potentially a future marriage partner. It’d be preferably to try to date within your faith for exactly this reason.

Well imagine had you gotten married. How would it go? She’d go to her church, and you’d go to yours? If you had children, in the* best* of circumstances, she’d go to hers, and you and the children would go to yours. In the worst, there would be a struggle and arguments over which faith the children would be raised in.

A lot of times, there are other issues that arise, in addition. Other faiths accept contraception where ours does not. Our faith believes in using Natural Family Planning under certain circumstances within a marriage, but the woman has to not only cooperate with that but really do most of it, charting, etc. I don’t know if she would have been willing.

We believe it’s necessary to see a priest for the sacraments…reconciliation. Other faiths don’t believe a priest is necessary and would typically try to talk you out of it.

Many other faiths won’t acknowledge the Blessed Virgin Mary, consider honoring and veneration of her a form of idolatry. In some churches, if you wanted to pray the rosary or put up a cross or crucifix at the house, this would all be considered idolatry, graven images, sinful, where we see all this as a good thing.

In order for your relationship to work, you’d probably have to compromise on your faith, or she would have to compromise on hers, or both. Is that what you both want?

It’s important to try to be “on the same page” on this issue, as you are now seeing. If not, try to find a partner who will at least not be openly hostile toward your faith.

Imagine if you had ever gotten married to her, had children. It would put a wedge in your family. Marriage is hard enough without starting off on opposing sides on this, most important of issues.

Some on the forum have said that some couples decide to not teach their children any religion, let them decide later. That rarely seems to work according to what I’ve heard. Then, the children have no basis for anything, often end up not believing in anything.

I know it can be hard to find a good Catholic girl, but really, can you try to find someone of your same faith?"

 

[robwar]

I know you guys are making sense but I just don’t know. A friend of mine who also used to date a Protestant advised me to try to clear up some of her misconceptions just so she realises I am a Christian and not “stuck” in some horrible religion. I am going to try that but if she still feels the same way after that I guess I’ll have no choice but to end it. It just really surprised me I feel almost betrayed that she honesty thinks I don’t know Christ after all the times we’ve talked about God and prayed with and for each other

maybe your friend has a totally different situation with his Protestant girlfriend but if this is coming up right away in the relationship and she is praying for you to leave, then you need to let go and move on and be thankful this came up real early in the relationship instead of being engaged and ready to marry or even after marriage. She could be dating you in order to convert you and if that is true, then you really need to drop her like a hot potato and move on!

 

[JediSisko]

Thank everyone who is praying for you, though they are wrong in their prayers, God will hear them and make your faith stronger. I will pray for you and your girlfriend, that true faith be brought out and for the constant conversion towards the truth. I know of a guy who is praying for my conversion out of the Church, but I do feel his prayers are being answered, just a stronger commitment of myself to God’s Church.

 

[Gia_B]

So my girlfriend and I have been dating just shy of two months, and I care a lot about her and am starting to fall in love…but just yesterday she and I had our first fight and it was over religion. I have invited her to come to Mass and Lifeteen with me several times, and she’s always come up with some excuse. At first I took it at face value but then yesterday she just flat out said no she didn’t want to come to the Good Friday service with me. So later yesterday I asked her if she was unwilling to go to a Catholic Church at all and she said yes she would not. This really offended and hurt me bc I’m an ex Protestant and HATE going to Protestant churches but I’d gone with her out of courtesy thinking she’d do the same for me. Well I told her I would no longer attend anything Protestant with her if she refused to even attend a Catholic Mass and we argued for a whole and eventually just decided to agree to disagree for now. She knew I was going to Confession that day as well and sent me a text whilst I was in church that said “remember Jesus died so you don’t have to confess to man” which told me this could be really tough lol. But then today I looked at her Instapray (social media site for Christians) and she was saying “please pray The Lord will show my boyfriend his love and lead him out of Catholicism” and “Jesus save my boyfriend he’s trapped in an evil religion”. I’m so hurt and confused like idk how she can think that and I don’t know how to go about this I don’t want to end the relationship but I haven’t an idea of what to do

Putting aside the question of faith entirely, you should still break up with her. You should never ever date someone who talks to (and about) you the way she does. While some here think that her action show that she really does care for you, I don’t think she respects you. I would love to be proven wrong by finding out that the two of you had an honest conversation about all of this instead of snide texts and passive-aggressive social media use, but if that doesn’t happen, then you should leave because you deserve better.

 

[Michael_Allen]

I wouldn’t rush in to any decisions. You’re both young. You’re both learning that people are different. And most importantly you are both learning how to live alongside people who are different. Perhaps you are even learning the problem that prejudice or too much dogmatism can cause between people. I would say that when you’re young you need to give each other the space to learn these things. I presume, from what you write, that there is some strong connection between you both.

For the first 15 years of my marriage I was an atheist. My wife was (and is) a faithful Catholic. But we were fine because we respected and loved each other, and learned to give each other room. We were both committed to there being more love and compassion in the world, and that, along with charity towards each other, was enough to bridge the theological divide.

But God bless you both whatever you decide.

 

[Anglewannabe]

sent me a text whilst I was in church

With all due respect, why were you checking your text in church? that is disrespectful to Jesus

 

[Razanir]

Putting aside the question of faith entirely, you should still break up with her. You should never ever date someone who talks to (and about) you the way she does.

 

[Richard_Feynman]

With all due respect, why were you checking your text in church? that is disrespectful to Jesus

He need said that he checked it in church. He said it was sent to him in church. The difference: someone can send me a text in church (in fact I get texts all the time while at Mass,) but I don’t have to see what the message says until after Mass is over. I still know I got the text because I felt the vibration, however I never check it during Mass for the exact reason you have laid out.

I’m just giving him the benefit of the doubt here.

Richard Feynman

 

[Rasoleil]

My wife converted and became a Lutheran ( LCMS) about 2006, and has tried to get me to converted Her pastor has tried as well. I refused to do so. She is extremely anti-Roman Catholic. Anytime we talk about our respective churches, she really gets angry and it seems like a personal vendetta against the Catholic faith. In fact, I know of several persons who think the same way. I just don’t understand why people are so rabidly anti-Catholic when the Church has not done anything to them. I never hear of Catholics attacking other faiths to the point of making it a personal issue. They all bring up the Reformation as if they themselves are being persecuted. You cannot even have a rational theological discussion because of their hatred of the our Church. I know that not all persons of a Christian demominations feel and act out in this manner, but the ones who do seem to have personal issues that they need to deal with without attacking the Church.

 

[Richard_Feynman]

My wife converted and became a Lutheran ( LCMS) about 2006, and has tried to get me to converted Her pastor has tried as well. I refused to do so. She is extremely anti-Roman Catholic. Anytime we talk about our respective churches, she really gets angry and it seems like a personal vendetta against the Catholic faith. In fact, I know of several persons who think the same way. I just don’t understand why people are so rabidly anti-Catholic when the Church has not done anything to them. I never hear of Catholics attacking other faiths to the point of making it a personal issue. They all bring up the Reformation as if they themselves are being persecuted. You cannot even have a rational theological discussion because of their hatred of the our Church. I know that not all persons of a Christian demominations feel and act out in this manner, but the ones who do seem to have personal issues that they need to deal with without attacking the Church.

I have NEVER understood this either! I don’t hate people of other religions/denominations! But people hate me and the Catholic faith just for existing! It’s hard to grasp. I’ve never done anything wrong to these people… Oh well… We can only pray for these people.

Richard Feynman

 

[Kal2012]

Breaking up is never easy.

It’s easier after two months than later in the relationship.

A basic expectation should be that your significant other doesn’t post something like “my bf is in a cult and needs saving”. You are saved already. You don’t need to be saved from anything - except maybe her.

I’m an ex-Protestant too. Run, don’t walk, to the nearest exit.

You will find someone else. .

I married my spouse as a Protestant. It took me 10 years to go Catholic. My husband might have doubts about the faith, but I will always 100% support him on his faith journey. I’ve prayed for him to go to church with me, but that’s about it. The choice is his to make. It’s called free will.

A deal-breaker for me would be having to deal with someone who I have to defend my faith to. Spouses can have their differences, but they shouldn’t actively seek to destroy the faith of the other person.

Honestly, I didn’t realize how intense the RCIA process was for my spouse until I went through it too. (I met him just after he finished going through RCIA) I totally understand now why he wouldn’t go to a Protestant church with me. Turning Catholic isn’t like becoming a church member in most denominations. It’s night and day different. I’m willing to bet that she doesn’t realize the commitments that you made to join and stay in the church.

 

[Anglewannabe]

He need said that he checked it in church. He said it was sent to him in church. The difference: someone can send me a text in church (in fact I get texts all the time while at Mass,) but I don’t have to see what the message says until after Mass is over. I still know I got the text because I felt the vibration, however I never check it during Mass for the exact reason you have laid out.

I’m just giving him the benefit of the doubt here.

Richard Feynman

I understand what you are saying. It simply occurred to me as odd that he mentioned it was sent while he was in church. I don’t see how that added to the story unless he read it while in church

 

[Richard_Feynman]

I understand what you are saying. It simply occurred to me as odd that he mentioned it was sent while he was in church. I don’t see how that added to the story unless he read it while in church

Well, I mean if she was REALLY trying to be passive aggressive she might’ve tried to distract him from worshipping at the “evil” Catholic Church.

 

[DoGodsBidding]

I have been very blessed to have married a fellow Catholic. We have grown together in our faith journey, leading each other to holiness. It has been a wonderful experience for both of us.

DGB

 

[Yeoman]

From one teenager to another: please end it while it’s still young. Two months. Much better now than when even more time, years even, may have passed. It’s NOT going to be good if you continue, she is obviously bent on converting you. With religion it is very important, I believe, for dating couples to be on the same page. I had a boyfriend whom I dated almost for a year, and he was Catholic but picked and chose what he wanted to believe from it. It caused me great suffering as I tried to convince him to believe in the tenets his own religion, without success. (That, along with other perhaps little things that bothered and hurt me greatly.) I shouldn’t have let it go on for so long. There are better people out there. Just imagine how lovely it would be to be with someone on the same page, so you do not have to worry about it.

I clicked into this one by accident, and I’m well past my teen years, but I can’t help but recalling a cousin of mine and therefore I agree with you. My cousin was very devout, but met a girl who was a very devout member of a fundamentalist Protestant religion. They dated for a long time, and she ultimately lead him out of the church and into that group, where he remains now after over two decades.

My wife was not Catholic when we met, but she wasn’t hostile to the Church. My cousin’s wife outright told my wife, when we were still dating, that she had told my cousin that she would never be married in the Catholic Church, and I took that almost as a suggestion to my wife that she shouldn’t be either.

So, over 20 years later my formerly devout cousin is a fundamentalist Christian, married to a fundamentalist Christian and they’ve raised four children as fundamentalist. I have to wonder if in the back of his mind my cousin knows that he’s missing out, but any way you look at it, a girlfriend became a wife and that wife lead him out of full communion with the Body of Christ.

 

[Dorothy]

"And, Jesus said ‘I have come to bring a sword, not peace.’ "

He, the Lord, is to be first in everything.

 

[SAVINGRACE]

*** Proceed with Caution ***

It takes two very special people to make it work. Relationships are complex even with one who respects your beliefs let alone one who doesn’t.

Personally, I would not take the risk with my ‘soul’. That is only because I know myself very well. Others have proceeded and made it work. I on the other hand would be prone to compromise to make it work.

Having said that a Conservative Catholic married to a Liberal Catholic may have their own issues. At least they are under the one umbrella.

Read all the good advice on here, speak to your Priest and make your decision.

 

[angelic06]

This teenager agrees. (I’m still 19. I’m a teen for another 4 months) I know I’ll sound like a broken record, but there really are better people out there. Take it from someone who just recently went to Adoration with a girl. (Admittedly not as a date, though. Much to my dismay, she’s still dating a guy from high school)

This 30 year old also agrees. While I have qualms about Catholics dating non-Catholics, dating a patent anti-Catholic is poisonous to the soul.