J
JoanneSmith
Guest
My husband abandoned the Catholic Church before I met him. I converted to Catholicism 6 years after marrying him. He loves me and tries to make my life better but lately he has just been draining every drop of faith, hope, and love out of me. He has no friends, even though everyone really likes him he doesn’t put any effort into having friends, doesn’t confide in anyone, and generally doesn’t really care about anyone else. I am his sole friend and emotional support, and he rarely even talks to me.
I’ve tried to talk to him about participating more in our family life, but he is withdrawn and mostly busies himself with chores, television, and internet. He doesn’t agree that he is self-absorbed because he does house repairs and chores and works hard for my benefit and the benefit of the children. He just thinks it’s boring to have conversations, and we don’t ever do any family fun things because he thinks kid stuff is boring. In fact, he is bored by everything that is not one of his hobbies or interests (which are fishing, tattoos, hard rock music, Islam, and porn). He can also be very negative, everything irritates him, people irritate him, he can’t tolerate being hungry or having a headache or being bored.
It’s really difficult that he is solely dependent on me to be his “rock.” I always have to boost his spirits or make him feel good about himself or make sex more interesting. He spends the money he makes freely and I take care of the finances all by myself, so normally I just make sacrifices or charge things in order to get by. His aloofness puts off my friends and sometimes he is rude and alienates them. When he talks about something like politics he says things like, “All the politicians are #$% worthless. What we need to do is invade Mexico.” My friends don’t talk like that, it just makes everyone uncomfortable. The thing that set me off just now is that on FB he just posted that he couldn’t wait to get home and "get a piece of #%$, " and then called me to tell me about it. I am embarrassed, and a lot of my friends will see that, and he says my problem is I am too prude.
He used to be really kind to other people and respectful of me. He used to have friends. He used to talk to me and be more interested and involved in our marriage. He said I am boring since I became Catholic. Everyone thinks I am this living saint that is going to bring him back to the Church, but I have all but lost hope. He doesn’t spend any time with me, and when it comes to my problems, like being organized, exercising, disciplining the children, feeling lonely, habit-forming, and recovering my health, he says, “I can’t really do anything to help you because of my job (he only works half the year), so if you are going to make things better you have to do it on your own.”
I just feel like I am on my own, like I married the wrong person, like we have less in common as time goes on. He won’t convert, he doesn’t even want to talk about Catholicism. I don’t even feel like praying anymore. I don’t feel like being loving or even being around him as much any more. I know I have to keep trying but I am really falling into despair.
I’ve tried to talk to him about participating more in our family life, but he is withdrawn and mostly busies himself with chores, television, and internet. He doesn’t agree that he is self-absorbed because he does house repairs and chores and works hard for my benefit and the benefit of the children. He just thinks it’s boring to have conversations, and we don’t ever do any family fun things because he thinks kid stuff is boring. In fact, he is bored by everything that is not one of his hobbies or interests (which are fishing, tattoos, hard rock music, Islam, and porn). He can also be very negative, everything irritates him, people irritate him, he can’t tolerate being hungry or having a headache or being bored.
It’s really difficult that he is solely dependent on me to be his “rock.” I always have to boost his spirits or make him feel good about himself or make sex more interesting. He spends the money he makes freely and I take care of the finances all by myself, so normally I just make sacrifices or charge things in order to get by. His aloofness puts off my friends and sometimes he is rude and alienates them. When he talks about something like politics he says things like, “All the politicians are #$% worthless. What we need to do is invade Mexico.” My friends don’t talk like that, it just makes everyone uncomfortable. The thing that set me off just now is that on FB he just posted that he couldn’t wait to get home and "get a piece of #%$, " and then called me to tell me about it. I am embarrassed, and a lot of my friends will see that, and he says my problem is I am too prude.
He used to be really kind to other people and respectful of me. He used to have friends. He used to talk to me and be more interested and involved in our marriage. He said I am boring since I became Catholic. Everyone thinks I am this living saint that is going to bring him back to the Church, but I have all but lost hope. He doesn’t spend any time with me, and when it comes to my problems, like being organized, exercising, disciplining the children, feeling lonely, habit-forming, and recovering my health, he says, “I can’t really do anything to help you because of my job (he only works half the year), so if you are going to make things better you have to do it on your own.”
I just feel like I am on my own, like I married the wrong person, like we have less in common as time goes on. He won’t convert, he doesn’t even want to talk about Catholicism. I don’t even feel like praying anymore. I don’t feel like being loving or even being around him as much any more. I know I have to keep trying but I am really falling into despair.
Not good, not good at all.