Hello friends, I have not been able to post since my laptop crashed so I am writing from the library at my old school. I am feeling really, really blue. My husband left to New York for a family reunion and I am not sure if he is coming back. I know he has been telling people that I kicked him out of the house and that is not entirely true. I am so sad and disappointed that he stopped by our house before he left and asked me if I wanted to work things out. You are probably thinking, GREAT!!! trust me, he did not appear to be very genuine. I have found more “evidence” that he is still unfaithful to me. I am confused and am not really sure if God wants me to be with this man. I love him but he has changed a lot, is acting very immature therefore sometimes I feel I am better off without him. I only hope he did not want to come back home 'cause he is still unemployed and needed a place to stay. I would appreciate some advise from people who have been through something similar. tks.
Violeta:
For about 20 years, I was one of those jerks. I can’t tell you how much damage I did, because I have no idea how much damage I did or how many people I hurt. My heart became so hard that I didn’t even ask for a priest or a minister when I was having spinal headaches after surgery to remove a brain tumor (I was in so much agony I was screaming while in coma).
Al I know is that, after being away from the Lord for 18 years, I joined a Middle East Forum, and took on the role of posting the names and stories of those who died in terrorist attacks. I didn’t know I was “creating my own ‘Minyan’,” in front of the “Throne of Grace”. Sept 10, I tried to post the story of how Dr. David Applebaum and his daughter Nava (and 5 others) were killed while waiting to eat at the Cafe Hillel in Jerusalem on Sept. 9. I needed NINE POSTS to post the story. I wept uncontrollably for most of the time. and, By the time I was finished posting their stories, my “heart of stone” had become a “heart of flesh”.
In mid-late October, when the Rabbi who had risked his life to post a prayer request in the Kotel (Wailing Wall or West Wall) in mid August asked me when I was going to start going to Church, I started going to Church. The Prayer Request - that was for a woman my girlfriend was positive was going to DIE THAT NIGHT. The Lord granted this Rabbi’s request, and walked the woman away from death’s doorstep as the Rabbi walked away from the Kotel.
I’m no longer what I was, and it’s all the Lord’s work. People, even men, can change, but the Lord has to do it, and we have to cooperate:
“How can a man be born when he is old?” Nicodemus asked. “Surely he cannot enter a second time into his mother’s womb to be born!”
Jesus answered, “I tell you the truth, no one can enter the kingdom of God unless he is born of water and the Spirit. Flesh gives birth to flesh, but the Spirit gives birth to spirit. You should not be surprised at my saying, ‘You must be born again.’ The wind blows wherever it pleases. You hear its sound, but you cannot tell where it comes from or where it is going. So it is with everyone born of the Spirit.”
“How can this be?” Nicodemus asked.
“You are Israel’s teacher,” said Jesus, "and do you not understand these things? I tell you the truth, we speak of what we know, and we testify to what we have seen, but still you people do not accept our testimony. I have spoken to you of earthly things and you do not believe; how then will you believe if I speak of heavenly things? No one has ever gone into heaven except the one who came from heaven—the Son of Man. Just as Moses lifted up the snake in the desert, so the Son of Man must be lifted up, that everyone who believes in him may have eternal life.
John 3:4-15 ESV
For through the law I died to the law, so that I might live to God. I have been crucified with Christ. It is no longer I who live, but Christ who lives in me. And the life I now live in the flesh I live by faith in the Son of God, who loved me and gave himself for me.
Galatians 2: 19-20 ESV
But I say, walk by the Spirit, and you will not gratify the desires of the flesh. For the desires of the flesh are against the Spirit, and the desires of the Spirit are against the flesh, for these are opposed to each other, to keep you from doing the things you want to do. But if you are led by the Spirit, you are not under the law. Now the works of the flesh are evident: sexual immorality, impurity, sensuality, idolatry, sorcery, enmity, strife, jealousy, fits of anger, rivalries, dissensions, divisions, envy, drunkenness, orgies, and things like these. I warn you, as I warned you before, that those who do such things will not inherit the kingdom of God. But the fruit of the Spirit is love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, self-control; gentleness, against such things there is no law. And those who belong to Christ Jesus have crucified the flesh with its passions and desires.
Galatians 5:15-24 ESV
For this to happen, your husband has to give himself totally to Christ, and your marriage needs to be centered on Christ. If he hasn’t already dne so, you’re going to have to lead him to our Lord and to the cross.
I can tell you this isn’t going to be easy.
Your Brother & Servant in Christ, Michael
