My Husband Wants to Send our Lesbian Daughter to a Conversion Camp

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Marissagharris

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Hi there! I’m a devout Christian but I’m in no way homophobic, racist, or transphobic. I was raised in a loving family and I accept everybody. My husband is a little more strict than me but we get along well and I truly do love him. But now, I’m reconsidering our marriage. Hear me out -
My daughter is 17 and a lesbian with a girlfriend. Said she has never felt attracted to boys in her life. She came out to us and I said “okay cool” because it’s fine and all but it’s not that big of a deal to me. My husband was clearly aggravated and later that night in bed he spoke to me and showed me the website for what is clearly a conversion camp. I told him I refuse to do that. He said she’s a sinner and I told him she’s our daughter first and foremost. Christianity does not teach us to hate gay individuals - if we were to follow every rule, we wouldn’t be wearing mixed fabrics. I feel like he’s overreacting.
It’s been a week and he won’t let the topic go, and when I said I refuse to send her to a catholic therapist (she has a regular therapist, I don’t want somebody making her hate herself) he said he’ll find a way to send her to camp and that I need to understand. I told him he is why people view Christianity as an intolerant religion - because of anti-gay rhetoric being spewed out by “followers” who make us look bad.
After he said that, my heart broke. I had a gay brother who was fatally shot in a gay nightclub. I can’t believe he’s homophobic - he never seemed likr this. He’s been getting more and more extreme with his anti-gay rhetoric and is even denying that systematic racism exists. He once showed me a tweet of a young woman saying white people made native Americans lives colonized and helped them. We’re both white and I’m not sure how he could think that. He has begun to send me Kaitlin Bennett’s tweets as well, one of them was about how women are too emotional to vote. I’m thinking of leaving to my sisters house with my daughter because I can’t handle him yelling at her. What’s the best course of action here?
 
First off, we are all sinners, not just her as your husband says.

Christianity calls us to love others you are correct. And in doing so, loving someone is wanting the absolute best for them, which is for them to enter Heaven. Love can be hard as to love someone can be to present to them what is wrong and to lead them to their ultimate best. Having same-sex attraction is not a sin. Acting on this attraction is a sin.

Your daughter is not her 18, you can’t just wash your hands of this. I would speak to a priest.
 
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Marissagharris said:
is even denying that systematic racism exists. He once showed me a tweet of a young woman saying white people made native Americans lives colonized and helped them. We’re both white and I’m not sure how he could think that. He has begun to send me Kaitlin Bennett’s tweets as well, one of them was about how women are too emotional to vote. I’m thinking of leaving to my sisters house with my daughter because I can’t handle him yelling at her. What’s the best course of action here?
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All of this are unrelated issues to your OP and should be addressed as such. I would speak with a priest
 
That’s not what I meant. All of the catholic therapists he sent me have a reputation for being anti-gay.
 
She has a girlfriend though. Why would I make them break up? Theyre good Kids. even if I did that, she has no attraction to males.
 
There are a lot of red flags here – more than can be dealt with by folks on an internet forum, unfortunately. I would suggest you look for two resources: a priest and a family therapist.

FWIW, I would never send my child to a “conversion camp” either, nor would I disown her or encourage her to believe that women shouldn’t vote. You might want to look for groups for Catholic parents of LGBT children – many others have been in your place and have similar worries to yours.
 
I’ll search up those kind of groups on Facebook, thank you!
 
You stated that you’re “not homophobic or transphobic”, which seems to indicate that you buy into.that whole ideology and perhaps you believe that Christian teachings on those topics are homophobic. There’s no issue sending your daughter to a Catholic therapist. If you’re concerned about your daughter’s soul you should be discouraging this lifestyle.
 
@Marissagharris

I recommend you get your daughter out of the house, perhaps by sending her to your sister.
Otherwise it’s possible your husband will try to forcibly ship her off to ‘conversion camp’.

Beyond that I don’t know what advice to offer.
I’ll pray for you and your family.
 
What lifestyle? She’s never gonna become a teen mom, so it’s kinda nice. Should I force her to live in celibacy her whole life? I forgot to mention it in the main post, but we live in an extremely homophobic part of town so the catholic therapists are not an accurate representation of true Catholics. They’re rude and funded by the conversion camp.
 
Yeah, you’re right. She’s an atheist and he’s always wished she wasn’t, so I guess this was the last straw. Thank you.
 
Exactly! You understand! Thank you, and yeah. I’ve been thinking of becoming catholic as well, so I figured this forum was a good place to get advice before I call a priest.
 
Love unconditionally. Sexuality can be fluid, especially at younger ages. She may be curious and experimenting. An attempt at Conversation camp may backfire and cause her to ‘dig her heels in’ and galvanize her thoughts against exactly what your husband wants to unwind.
 
Marissagharris said:
My husband was clearly aggravated and later that night in bed he spoke to me and showed me the website for what is clearly a conversion camp. I told him I refuse to do that.
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All of those places I have heard of use abusive measures, psychological and sometimes even physical, to “convert” the person. I agree with you that your daughter should not go there.
 
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