My life

[JRKH]

Thanks for these helpful replies. I just don’t know how to live with a man like this.

He just told me that he wants to use our son’s savings to pay for the private school. There’s not even enough! He is desperate.

Yes - he is desperate and he is now demonstrating that if he can’t “rob” you of you time and talent, he’ll “rob” his kids…though in truth what he is probably trying to do is to “blackmail” you into giving in…
Tell him (calmly) the kids money is not to be touched and you need to find other ways to deal with this crisis. If it is in a joint account - you might want to considered moving it into a new account in your name…Though I’m sure he would explode on that one too.

I am considering going and talking with a bankruptcy attorney. At the very least, trying to find a cash car and let our car get repo’d. Unfortunately, he will NEVER go for that. I think I need to do this on my own. I can’t tell him or world war 3 will break out.

You can talk to an attorney or to a financial adviser - either one should be able to give you good info on how such things work in your area…

Also… It’s been awhile, but he has threatened suicide before.

And has he ever actually attempted suicide? Most likely it is another blackmail attempt…but if he WERE to threaten suicide you can simply go tot he phone and call 911. Explain that you are worried that your husband will harm himself or you. Depending on the law in your state, you might even be able to have him committed for observation…(though this is unlikely)…
My point being that - your response to such a threat is to do the loving thing - Not give in to his tantrum - but at the same time, “Call him on it”. If he wants to be taken seriously - then this is what a threat of self harm calls for…strong professional intervention…
He’ll most likely back off in a quick hurry…or if he does not and continues to be belligerent and irrational…the cops will most likely have him hauled in…
In either case - you remain the sane and mature one…

Bottom line though is that if he DOES “explode” on you over these things…Take your son and get out quickly. Do not place yourself or your children in danger…

Peace
James

 

[TheRealJuliane]

I am considering going and talking with a bankruptcy attorney. At the very least, trying to find a cash car and let our car get repo’d. Unfortunately, he will NEVER go for that. I think I need to do this on my own. I can’t tell him or world war 3 will break out.

Also… It’s been awhile, but he has threatened suicide before.

DO NOT let the car get repossessed! You will still owe the difference between your lease balance and the amount the car brings through sale. Try to work a deal on the lease. You need good financial advice at this point. I would go to www.daveramsey.com and try to find one of his endorsed local providers who can give you better advice.

I can imagine your husband being so childish as to quit his job if you push too hard to get out of this debt situation. Well, that is something you will have to deal with. Think of the worst case scenario and then having considered it, go forward the best way you know how.

By the way, do you have just the one child, or 3, you have only mentioned one son for several posts now. Just be honest with us.

 

[Luvz2travel]

Sounds like your married to a user and manipulator. I would first of all make sure you are aware of where the finances stand and what your legal rights are and see a credit councilor with or without your husband. I would also set up at least one separate bank account. If you find out he is racking up bills without your knowledge then I would consider filing legal separation papers so at the very least the debtors can’t come after your for his debt. It’s about protecting your kids at this point. If it means using the money you’ve put away for your kids to free the family of some debt I would do that you can always start saving again later the important thing here is to provide the basics food, housing, healthcare. You husband seems to like to bully you doing what he wants regardless of what you think or feel. That’s selfish at best abuse at worst. Next time he plays that game and think seem let they will fall apart maybe don’t play along…let him face some ramifications. I’m not saying in anything detrimental but something that will send a message your aren’t playing that game anymore.