I’m totally new to this forum (indeed, I found it after doing a websearch to look up a legend my mom had told me about ,pertaining to deaths during Holy Week).
A little background: my mother was raised Roman Catholic many decades ago, and the last time she’d been in church was around 1940. She converted to Orthodox Judaism a few years before marrying my father, who was Jewish by birth. My older sister and I were raised as Orthodox Jews, although I am still Jewish I am not Orthodox (though I am somewhat observant.) My husband is a convert to Judaism also, originally from a Baptist background.
Anyway…for the past year I had been taking care of my mother, because she had grown very ill. The last 2 months she became terminal, and they put her into hospice care. I decided on March 10th to have hospice bring her home so I could take care of her here. She passed away on March 17th, in my home, surrounded by her grandchildren, my husband and myself.
On Sunday, the day before she passed, I awoke with a very stiff neck from work I’d done a few days before, cleaning out her apt so I could close it out. My neck pain was such that I could only turn my head one way, to the left (where the TV was.) The TV had a movie on, called The Messenger, about the life of St Joan of Arc. I watched it because I’d always been enamored of Joan of Arc since childhood (I’d even become a tomboy because of my attachment to her!). This was a movie about her I’d not seen before.
Anyway, I happened to start watching it at the point where she was begging the priest to give her the Last Rites. He refused because she had been condemned as witch and heretic. The look of horror that came over her face at being refused made an impact on me.
In a daze, I decided what I needed to do was call a priest to give my mom the Last Rites. I figured it couldn’t hurt, esp. since she was now unresponsive, alive yet unable to talk. She did not even open her eyes, and I think she had already entered the pre-death coma-like state many terminally ill people go into before they die.
In ten minutes, a priest was here and he gave her the Last Rites (Anointing of the Sick, he called it.) I did not find out until later that it had been Palm Sunday, perhaps one of the busiest days of the year for priests! (which made me feel bad that I’d called him out like that on such short notice.)
The next morning she died, at 5 AM on March 17th. She died on the 2nd day of Holy Week…and I remember a legend she had told me years ago. She said that many Italian Catholics (what she was raised) believe that someone who dies during Holy Week goes to Heaven. How eerie that this is when she ended up dying.
The chaplain at the hospice told me that terminally ill people are often able to telepathically communicate their spiritual wishes to those they are closest to, before they die. He felt my mom communicated to me that she wanted to die reconciled to the church (and no, this chaplain was not Catholic either!)
This part will sound silly, but here goes. In the 25 yrs I’ve been married, my mom always told my husband that “it always rains on Good Friday, from 12 noon to 3 PM”. He became determined to prove her “superstition” wrong, so he would watch every GF from 12 N to 3 Pm to see, and it ALWAYS rained where we live. Without fail. It was weird, but I did recall it always raining when I was growing up too, because she used to tell me that.
Today, IT DID NOT RAIN. For the first time in my life, and esp. the last 25 years. My husband mentioned it, because it has spooked him out. The sky was not even cloudy or dark, it was a very bright, sunny day. My husband said that he feels God rewarded my mom’s faith in her belief about GF, by not letting it rain even once until after she died.
That might not mean anything, but evidently to him (and me), it does.
I’d be curious to know what you all think of this?
BTW I decided to post it in this board because the last time my mom ever went to church was long before Vatican 2, and because I am very aware of the “old church” vs “new church” controversy (I have many Traditionalist Catholic friends from my involvement in pro-life and homeschooling communities). The pre-V2 church is the ONLY Catholic church my mom was familiar with, and because of that its the only one I’m familiar with too.
In case anyone is curious, although I have a very strong faith in Judaism and would never convert away from it for anything in thew world…I have always felt a very strong love for the traditional Catholic church externals, esp. the Tridentine Latin Mass (I had 5 yrs of Latin in pub sch, and I love classical music and Gregorian chant, so that helps!) My only problem is with the theology.
I know this is a lot to dump on all of you at once (!), but I feel at peace with the way my mom passed.
I bet she is the only person to receive the Last Rites of the Roman Catholic church, and then have an Orthodox Jewish funeral and burial in a Jewish cemetery! Yet for some reason, it all feels so RIGHT, considering her background. She loved being Jewish, yet she did retain some love for the religion of her childhood.
Carols Daughter
I am so sorry for your loss. You heard a call on behalf of your dear mother and listened.
I’m sorry to hear about your mother passing away.I still miss my parents.My mom died in 1982 and my dad in 1996.