My Mother is now making me leave the Church

[bben15]

I am glad to see that you are taking your faith seriously. God bless you. First of all, you should not of called your mom a “heretic.” She was probably offended by that. You should apologize to her. Second, I suggest you talk to her, tell her that you’ll be happy to attend her church, but not receive communion there, and that you’ll continue to go to Mass. She is just trying to look out for you. You are her flesh and blood, and she loves you very much. I doubt she hates Catholicism. Continue to pray the rosary and ask for the intercession of Our Lady. Pray for her.

 

[BVMFatima]

Dont worry bro,
Just be patient and dont take offense. Certain threads get lots of attention. Sometimes there are trolls. I think some of the answers have been on the strong side of calling your church heretics. This is not true. You are young. You are making a stand early in your life, and seem passionate. It has elements that could be viewed as troll behavior. That is to set up the false scenario and then blast accussations. Just be patient with these suspicions. Some people have given alot of effort to threads to only reveal biased trolls with bad intentions. Stay focussed on the good.

Peace,
Michael

Thank you Michael for understanding. I just have been very worried and depressed lately. All of your advice really helped and I took time to read them through the day, thank you all who have supported me. I went to confession and Sunday vigil Mass and got advice from my Priest as some recommended. God bless you all and thank you!

 

[BVMFatima]

I am glad to see that youp are taking your faith seriously. God bless you. First of all, you should not of called your mom a “heretic.” She was probably offended by that. You should apologize to her. Second, I suggest you talk to her, tell her that you’ll be happy to attend her church, but not receive communion there, and that you’ll continue to go to Mass. She is just trying to look out for you. You are her flesh and blood, and she loves you very much. I doubt she hates Catholicism. Continue to pray the rosary and ask for the intercession of Our Lady. Pray for her.

Ok, thank you Ben for your advice. God Bless

 

[Oneofthewomen]

Thanks for helping. I really appreciate being called a troll. What’s the point of a forum where you can’t even ask for advice on how to stay strong? I mean my goodness.
Infact, if you still don’t believe me you can go through my threads and see where I asked for advice since I am the only Catholic in my family of Anti Catholic Protestants. But hey believe what you want, right? God Bless you though.

Love always,
BVMFatima

I do not think that you are a troll. I do know that we are not getting the complete story, only one, and that is the side of a teen-ager. Just thinking back on my own experiences, what I thought my mother said, and what she actually said, when I was that age, were never the same thing.

I stand by by orignal post in this thread. I find it very disturbing that so many people are advising a minor to be disobedient to their parent, and not advising them to discuss this matter with the priest & sponsor who helped with the OP’s conversion.

To be quite honest, some of the responses in this thread are very troubling to me.

I am not a parent, but I could be the OP’s mother, and if my child came to me and told me a bunch of people on the internet said I was leading her to sin, not only would they be grounded, but it would be a long time before I let them near a computer again!

BVMFatima, please make an appointment with your priest, your sponsor and your mother. Listen to your mother’s concerns, treat her with respect and follow the guidance of your priest. I am sure there is much more going on here and it is really not fair to your mother or grandmother for anyone reading this not to hear their side of the story.

 

[llenadegracia]

OP, I do have one suspicion as to why your mother is concerned. Think about your words with non-Catholics. Are you tending to try to convert people in an extreme way? For example, very vocally telling Protestant friends that they are heretics and need to repent of their ways? This is not a good method if this is the case. It is okay to be subtle and bring up what you believe here and their to non-Catholic friends, but it is not necessarily helpful to constantly shove it down everyone’s throat.

I second this. I don’t think WingsOfEagles is trying to assume anything about you but instead just a friendly reminder… OP, I just strongly recommend that you aim for your words and actions to be as Christ-like as possible. We always have room to step it up.

I am a young college student myself and come from a family not all Catholic. I attended Mass most often by myself during high school and currently just by myself now as well. Before I could drive, it was a bit of a challenge and I missed a few times. Not ideal, of course, but it just was not something I thought was worth causing a ruckus over. Went to Confession. Priest reminded me a was a minor and that the Lord wants us to obey our parents especially when they believe they are acting in the genuinely best interest of their children. I yearned so long for the Sacraments during high school/before I could drive/had more freedom as I got older that it often bothered me! But I tried to remember charity and obedience. The Lord knows my conscious and I put my faith in that. Doing something wrong (lying to your parents about where you’re going) does not make what you’re doing ok, in my opinion. Prayerfully consider your options. Also, remember that you still have access to many great aids such as the internet, Rosary, Liturgy of the Hours, watching Mass online/tv, the Bible…just a lot of great things still exist that even if you can’t get to Mass given your present state you can still keep a tie to your Catholic faith…

 

[BVMFatima]

I do not thinkoh that you are a troll. I do know that we are not getting the complete story, only one, and that is the side of a teen-ager. Just thinking back on my own experiences, what I thought my mother said, and what she actually said, when I was that age, were never the same thing.

I stand by by orignal post in this thread. I find it very disturbing that so many people are advising a minor to be disobedient to their parent, and not advising them to discuss this matter with the priest & sponsor who helped with the OP’s conversion.

Oh okay I see. Well she is not letting me go to Mass, but she is stating to not share my Catholic faith anymore with anyone, that all religions are equal. I reject this no doubt. Secondly she is telling me to go to youth group on wednesdays at the Non Denominational Church I use to go since my youth group at my Roman Catholic parish is not that active by going out and doing missionary work. I talked with my priest and we are going to start evangelizing and stuff in the future thank God.

Please keep me in your prayers and God Bless,
BVMFatima

 

[trevor1055]

You’re going to have to obey your mother as long as you live in her home. That doesn’t make you any less Catholic. Her house, her rules. Just like any other command that a parent hands down to a child. You’re obligated to obey her. You best go to the services she tells you to. She may let you go to Mass if you are coopertive with her. If you are coopertive with her and she sees you are making an effort instead of “taking it too far”, she may compromise with you. Just remember that if you’re Baptised, you’ll always be Catholic. And you may have to just wait to attend Mass regularly and live as a Catholic when you move out on your own. In the meantime, buck up and do as she says or she can make your life miserable. The problem is, your mother is NOT Catholic and you not only live in her home, but are under her guardianship. NOt much you can do until you grow up and move out.

I have to agree here, but that never means giving up your faith. A child whose parent prevents her from going to Mass does not commit a mortal sin by not going to Mass. Please, though, never leave the faith. God may be sharpening you right now for a future mission in this world … prayers are with you!

 

[anonymous_in_fl]

To the OP: You have many resources available to you. You have access to the Internet and this CAF website with good solid Catholic info. I encourage to you to visit good Catholic websites.

Also, get the email address of your priest and your godparent/sponsor and email them to let them know what is happening and ask for their advice.

Walk to mass and confession if you have to or take a bus. Go before or after school or on the way home if possible. Try to keep going to mass and the sacraments as often as possible.

Do not attend a non-Catholic youth group; while I am sure they are very nice people they do not share your beliefs and you do not share theirs.

Pray and offer up your suffering and injustices for their conversion.

 

[BVMFatima]

To the OP: You have many resources available to you. You have access to the Internet and this CAF website with good solid Catholic info. I encourage to you to visit good Catholic websites.

Also, get the email address of your priest and your godparent/sponsor and email them to let them know what is happening and ask for their advice.

Walk to mass and confession if you have to or take a bus. Go before or after school or on the way home if possible. Try to keep going to mass and the sacraments as often as possible.

Do not attend a non-Catholic youth group; while I am sure they are very nice people they do not share your beliefs and you do not share theirs.

Pray and offer up your suffering and injustices for their conversion.

Great advice! The thing is my Mother says I am going to miss out on being around other Christian teens and I will regret it for the rest of my life if I do not begin attending.

 

[WingsOfEagles]

Great advice! The thing is my Mother says I am going to miss out on being around other Christian teens and I will regret it for the rest of my life if I do not begin attending.

Your Catholic Church must also have a Youth Group. I know mine did. It was extremely active with a lot of retreats actually.

 

[devoutchristian]

No it would not be better.

Until such time that the OP is 18, she must follow her mother’s rules. If the rules are that the OP doesn’t attend Mass, but instead goes to a protestant service, then that is what she does.

Missing Mass would not be, at that time, a mortal sin. (Remember the 3 conditions of a mortal sin.)

Once the OP is an adult and able to support herself, she will then be required to go to Mass.

And, OP, in the meantime, I would suggest that you don’t pick fights with your mother by calling her or your grandmother, heretics. It would be better to quietly attend the services required by your mother, and keep Catholicism in your heart. When you are able, go back to worshiping as you wish.

This is heresy. The idea that one is bound to obey sinful commands is heretical. Please quit spreading this heresy on a Catholic forum.

I agree with this. Catholicism is not a cult that seeks to lure children from their parents.

Go to the Protestant service if your mother insists. You can pray the rosary silently during the service, using your fingers to keep track (no need to make a fuss or spectacle of yourself). Pray for your mother to have a change of heart. Your mother and grandmother can’t be very committed Protestants if they wouldn’t object to your being a Muslim.

Talk to a priest if you can and explain your situation to him.

Catholicism is the only true religion. You have no business leading the OP into mortal sin.

No it would not, automatically.

It would help if you would read what the Church officially has to say about the matter.

This is a 16 year old child by the information we have. The biggest issue is going to be one of obedience to their parents. We can get into all sorts of permutations about not obeying an immoral command; before we do that we need to pause and think what the consequences might be should this matter escalate.

The best advice is for the child to seek out their pastor and have a heart-to-heart talk with them. Advice on the internet is too often too freely given where the advisor has no consequences. We know only what the OP has given us; almost nothing of the dynamics of what is going on in the home, and we bear no responsibility (at least, it would appear) should things in the home go radically wrong.

It is a duty to disobey evil commands.

Why is she saying you are acting like a radical extremist fundamentalist? Why is she not instead saying you are acting like a Catholic? The two are different. Is it possible you are sending her the wrong messages (such as calling Protestants “heretics”) in your behavior? If your behavior is offensive to her, she will not compromise with you.

You’re going to have to obey your mother as long as you live in her home. That doesn’t make you any less Catholic. Her house, her rules. Just like any other command that a parent hands down to a child. You’re obligated to obey her. You best go to the services she tells you to. She may let you go to Mass if you are coopertive with her. If you are coopertive with her and she sees you are making an effort instead of “taking it too far”, she may compromise with you. Just remember that if you’re Baptised, you’ll always be Catholic. And you may have to just wait to attend Mass regularly and live as a Catholic when you move out on your own. In the meantime, buck up and do as she says or she can make your life miserable. The problem is, your mother is NOT Catholic and you not only live in her home, but are under her guardianship. NOt much you can do until you grow up and move out.

Please quit spreading this nonsense on a Catholic forum. One is morally prohibited from sinning to please a parent.

You are a bit confused here. It would not be a mortal sin for her to miss Mass at all if she is not allowed to go. She’s only 16. But lying is a sin.

If he is able then it doesn’t matter if he is allowed.

I was under the impression that a minor wasn’t obligated to obey their parents if the order was to commit a sin. But this scenario seems to me to be a good reason why minors shouldn’t be allowed to convert, in my opinion, if they don’t have Catholic parents.

:tsktsk:

Since it is a moral obligation to be Catholic, minors can not be excluded from conversion.

To be quite honest, some of the responses in this thread are very troubling to me.

I am not a parent, but I could be the OP’s mother, and if my child came to me and told me a bunch of people on the internet said I was leading her to sin, not only would they be grounded, but it would be a long time before I let them near a computer again!

BVMFatima, please make an appointment with your priest, your sponsor and your mother. Listen to your mother’s concerns, treat her with respect and follow the guidance of your priest. I am sure there is much more going on here and it is really not fair to your mother or grandmother for anyone reading this not to hear their side of the story.

The truth will offend people.

 

[devoutchristian]

Honor your father and your mother.

Remember your mom cares about you, and she is trying to do what she thinks is right, whether or not its the right decision.

You are 16 so you are subject to your parents. No one can make you give up your faith. But I would say just go to the church your mom wants you to go to, tell the pastor there you are forced against your will to be there, he will understand. Lots of kids are forced to go to church. Take what you can from the service, they will preach from the bible, so listen and take the good, and throw out the bad. Try to be cordial and friendly to the people there (blessed are the peacemakers), without insulting them by calling them heretics. Maybe you could use the opportunity to witness for your faith, but I guarantee calling them heretics in their own church won’t turn on anyone to the message you are trying to preach.

My $.02

You’re wrong. One must attend mass regardless of persecution.

I stand by by orignal post in this thread. I find it very disturbing that so many people are advising a minor to be disobedient to their parent, and not advising them to discuss this matter with the priest & sponsor who helped with the OP’s conversion.

It is disturbing that some people who consider themselves to be Catholic are advising a minor to throw their soul away to please the world. That is what is disturbing.

 

[devoutchristian]

Great advice! The thing is my Mother says I am going to miss out on being around other Christian teens and I will regret it for the rest of my life if I do not begin attending.

She means well but she is making her conclusions on faulty premises.

 

[rcwitness]

This is heresy. The idea that one is bound to obey sinful commands is heretical. Please quit spreading this heresy on a Catholic forum.

Catholicism is the only true religion. You have no business leading the OP into mortal sin.

It is a duty to disobey evil commands.

Please quit spreading this nonsense on a Catholic forum. One is morally prohibited from sinning to please a parent.

If he is able then it doesn’t matter if he is allowed.

Since it is a moral obligation to be Catholic, minors can not be excluded from conversion.

The truth will offend people.

I disagree with this Spirit. You are forgetting, for one, that this is a Christian faith. Maybe not fullness, but containing the Gospel in some degree. So it is not a pagan or cult religion. You are pitting a youth against her parents who are most likely, according to the Catholic Church within Saving grace and faith. I dont appreciate the demonizing of protestantism. Maybe this mother is being controlling, but she has the right. Our Father in heaven will bless this child for showing a Spirit of respect and love.

You are not speaking from Love, but pride in Religion.
Michael

 

[BVMFatima]

She means well but she is making her conclusions on faulty premises.

So what should I do? Any advice? I’m just in so much fear because I never been so persecuted in my life. (Atleast by my family)

 

[BVMFatima]

I disagree with this Spirit. You are forgetting, for one, that this is a Christian faith. Maybe not fullness, but containing the Gospel in some degree. So it is not a pagan or cult religion. You are pitting a youth against her parents who are most likely, according to the Catholic Church within Saving grace and faith. I dont appreciate the demonizing of protestantism. Maybe this mother is being controlling, but she has the right. Our Father in heaven will bless this child for showing a Spirit of respect and love.

You are not speaking from Love, but pride in Religion.
Michael

I’m a male by the way lol! But I’m just so confused. I just don’t know what to do to be honest. I’m sorry for causing debate among all of you, I just need some advice.

 

[Iheartcoffee]

Don’t leave just because a parent told you to. You are 16 and 16 year olds rebel. Be a rebel for all the right reasons. A lot of saints were rebels. 16 year olds don’t really have to go anywhere or do anything just because a parent says so. Look around your school and you will certainly see some examples of what I am talking about. There are a lot of 16 year olds that don’t listen to their parents. Also, keep in mind that you only have about 2 more years to deal with this. Once you are 18 you are officially an adult and not under any kind of even legal compulsion to do what a parent says. Stick to your faith. Your Faith will outlast everything, even family and friends. Remember that your goal is to be faithful to God first and do what makes God happy. Sometimes that means making some people around you unhappy, even family. It’s hard, but it is worth it.

 

[rcwitness]

I’m a male by the way lol! But I’m just so confused. I just don’t know what to do to be honest. I’m sorry for causing debate among all of you, I just need some advice.

Oh im sorry, I thought so, and then I thought devoutchristian said girl. Sorry

My advice is, like others said, talk to your priest, mentor, sponsor, but try to confess and receive communion to the best of your ability, but dont feel guilt in obeying your mom. This is not from God. Unless she is telling you to denounce your Baptism, Confirmation, Eucharist and the like. This you cannot do in word or heart. Find the common love for Our Lord with those in her church. It is for a time. Offer it up to God as pure love and respect for Him and His will for you

Affectionately
Michael

 

[devoutchristian]

So what should I do? Any advice? I’m just in so much fear because I never been so persecuted in my life. (Atleast by my family)

My advice would be to continue attending Mass, to attend the charitable programs and protestant services that she asks you to but not to participate in the promotion of her ecclesial community.

 

[devoutchristian]

I disagree with this Spirit. You are forgetting, for one, that this is a Christian faith. Maybe not fullness, but containing the Gospel in some degree. So it is not a pagan or cult religion. You are pitting a youth against her parents who are most likely, according to the Catholic Church within Saving grace and faith. I dont appreciate the demonizing of protestantism. Maybe this mother is being controlling, but she has the right. Our Father in heaven will bless this child for showing a Spirit of respect and love.

You are not speaking from Love, but pride in Religion.
Michael

The Church rejects the idea that Protestantism is salvific. It is Love to oppose grave error.