My new short film

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SignalPix said:
With regard to the audio, there are portions on the bus that I’m unhappy about. I have posted the film on my website with (hopefully) improved audio. Check it out here and let me know what you think.
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For some reason my quicktime isn’t letting it load. I’ll have to try a different computer later.
Finally, thanks so much for forwarding it to friends and family. If I can be so bold, please encourage them to vote too! :blushing:
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–Chris
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They voted 👍

As for Blind Fate…The audio was better but the transitional cuts were so-so. I preferred your smooth blend of neon, crisp yet blurred just right, to the cut scenes of BF from the beginning up to the bridge. After the bridge it was better.

I can see why you two are running neck and neck, though, because both stories are developed, revealed and wrapped up nicely.

One thing which may be pushing BF slightly ahead is the fact that it uses opening/closing credits. That makes the film appear more ‘complete’ than yours.

Last I checked, though, you’re still running neck and neck.
Good luck to you!
 
YinYangMom said:
It’s interesting that you relate to the nun’s initial instinct about the girl, that by associating with her danger could befall the convent. I never considered the girl a threat, as it was clear the guy in the car was a boyfriend, not a pimp, drug dealer or gangster.

As for leaving hanging what happens, well that’s the point…this way people will ask the director for more, at which time the story can show what happens.

I imagine the girl will have a safe place to sleep for the night, have breakfast with the nuns, share in their prayer routine for the morning, and then be sent on her way to rebuild her life.
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I’m not convinced Sister Michael’s first impression was not exactly the right one. The “boyfriend” leaves Suzie saying “I don’t want to see you ‘til you’re ready to work.” What sort of work do you suppose he is talking about? The natural assumption one is led to make is that the work is something illicit. Moreover, if he’s nothing more than a boyfriend and not a pimp or a drug dealer, why the emphasis on having Suzie “follow the rules” or being “ready to work?” Those kinds of statements imply that even if he is her boyfriend, he’s also something much worse. Indeed, that he’s comfortable kicking her out of the car at all implies that he knows Suzie has some sort of dependency on him.

If the film “leaves you hanging,” then it isn’t really finished. If you have to ask the director for more to resolve a major plot point, then the director hasn’t done his job. The idea that one would write a film is such a way as to essentially make the audience demand a sequel for the plot’s resolution seems arrogant for a film that isn’t part of an already established franchise. As I see it, if a film such as this can’t stand on its own, then it really is a failure.
 
Other_Eric said:
I’m not convinced Sister Michael’s first impression was not exactly the right one. The “boyfriend” leaves Suzie saying “I don’t want to see you ‘til you’re ready to work.” What sort of work do you suppose he is talking about? The natural assumption one is led to make is that the work is something illicit. Moreover, if he’s nothing more than a boyfriend and not a pimp or a drug dealer, why the emphasis on having Suzie “follow the rules” or being “ready to work?” Those kinds of statements imply that even if he is her boyfriend, he’s also something much worse. Indeed, that he’s comfortable kicking her out of the car at all implies that he knows Suzie has some sort of dependency on him.

If the film “leaves you hanging,” then it isn’t really finished. If you have to ask the director for more to resolve a major plot point, then the director hasn’t done his job. The idea that one would write a film is such a way as to essentially make the audience demand a sequel for the plot’s resolution seems arrogant for a film that isn’t part of an already established franchise. As I see it, if a film such as this can’t stand on its own, then it really is a failure.
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Good points.
Apparently I’m a sucker for sequels. 😊
 
Other_Eric said:
I’m not convinced Sister Michael’s first impression was not exactly the right one. The “boyfriend” leaves Suzie saying “I don’t want to see you ‘til you’re ready to work.” What sort of work do you suppose he is talking about? The natural assumption one is led to make is that the work is something illicit. Moreover, if he’s nothing more than a boyfriend and not a pimp or a drug dealer, why the emphasis on having Suzie “follow the rules” or being “ready to work?” Those kinds of statements imply that even if he is her boyfriend, he’s also something much worse. Indeed, that he’s comfortable kicking her out of the car at all implies that he knows Suzie has some sort of dependency on him.

If the film “leaves you hanging,” then it isn’t really finished. If you have to ask the director for more to resolve a major plot point, then the director hasn’t done his job. The idea that one would write a film is such a way as to essentially make the audience demand a sequel for the plot’s resolution seems arrogant for a film that isn’t part of an already established franchise. As I see it, if a film such as this can’t stand on its own, then it really is a failure.
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Good points, really.

Guess I’m a sucker for sequels. 😊
 
I didn’t get that Sister was afraid until she expressed fear to the other nun. It seemed like the girl was a victim in the beginning.

I did think it was a good film, though. The only other one I watched so far was the knitting one and I didn’t get that one AT ALL! (Neither did the people who wrote the comments).

Have you heard of Act One? (www.actoneprogram.com) Maybe you’re beyond what they could teach you, but it sounds like a great program. I’ve always wanted someone to try it! They have a screenwriting program and and executive program for Christian film professionals.

I’m going to go back and watch some more and vote for you.
 
YinYangMom said:
For some reason my quicktime isn’t letting it load. I’ll have to try a different computer later.

They voted 👍

As for Blind Fate…The audio was better but the transitional cuts were so-so. I preferred your smooth blend of neon, crisp yet blurred just right, to the cut scenes of BF from the beginning up to the bridge. After the bridge it was better.

I can see why you two are running neck and neck, though, because both stories are developed, revealed and wrapped up nicely.

One thing which may be pushing BF slightly ahead is the fact that it uses opening/closing credits. That makes the film appear more ‘complete’ than yours.

Last I checked, though, you’re still running neck and neck.
Good luck to you!
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Thanks for the feedback, YinYangMom! Regarding your comment on the lack of credits, I have added those in now (you can check 'em out here). The reason I hadn’t posted them earlier was because Minneapolis is such a small film community, and I know most everybody in it, I wanted people to judge the work blindly. :cool:

–Chris
 
SignalPix said:
Thanks for the feedback, YinYangMom! Regarding your comment on the lack of credits, I have added those in now (you can check 'em out here). The reason I hadn’t posted them earlier was because Minneapolis is such a small film community, and I know most everybody in it, I wanted people to judge the work blindly. :cool:

–Chris
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Oh, that audio was much better, really.
Last I checked you were about 20 votes (unofficial) behind Blind Faith. It looks like you have to wait until September 22nd to find out who won??

Do let us know how it turned out.
 
Hey SignalPix! I see your film won the competition (by 19 votes!)!

screenlabs.blogspot.com/

CONGRATULATIONS!

I hope you read this and stop by to let us in on the reveal. Was there a banquet or was it just announced via the website?
 
SignalPix said:
I shot this short film the first couple weeks of June for a local short filmmaking contest. Wanted to share it with y’all. Love to hear your comments (both the good and bad).

So here it is: Forgotten (click link and scroll down a bit to see the film)

If you’re so inclined, please vote for the film here. Voting ends September 1, 2007. Hope you enjoy. Thanks.
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I’m so sorry I missed the vote! That was a great film! The part with the inscription touched me.

I thought it was shot wonderfully. Great camera work and lighting!

The sound work was well done too.

Nice story … nice filming … great job!
 
Excellent short film! Surprisingly well acted with great flow and “suspense”. I loved the nun! She could have been any one of he many nuns I had in Catholic Schools! The two sisters were a perfect juxtapositioning of “old school” vs “new school”! And the ending was really a surprise! I have to admit, I didn’t see that coming.

It was subtle yet clear, which is not an easy thing to accomplish. If it’s true that you won, it is a well deserved victory.

It has really refreshed my soul to watch this little film. I am firmly convinced that when Christians get some corner of the media marketplace, the public will devour the message of the Gospels.
 
YinYangMom said:
Hey SignalPix! I see your film won the competition (by 19 votes!)!

screenlabs.blogspot.com/

CONGRATULATIONS!

I hope you read this and stop by to let us in on the reveal. Was there a banquet or was it just announced via the website?
Click to expand...
Thank you so much, YinYangMom! Apologies for taking so long to get back here. Indeed there was a small awards ceremony and I’m happy to report our short film also earned the best screenplay award!

I submitted the film to a number of major film festivals earlier this year, so I’m crossing my fingers it gets accepted. I’ll keep you posted. Thank you for your support!

–Chris
 
jabelltulsa said:
I’m so sorry I missed the vote! That was a great film! The part with the inscription touched me.

I thought it was shot wonderfully. Great camera work and lighting!

The sound work was well done too.

Nice story … nice filming … great job!
Click to expand...
Hi, jabelltulsa. Please excuse my slow response. Thank you for your kind words. It was a blast making this film. It took time and energy from many talented people to produce it and I’m grateful to every one.

Feel free to check out some of the behind the scenes photos here. Glad you enjoyed it! 😉

–Chris
 
blessedtoo said:
Excellent short film! Surprisingly well acted with great flow and “suspense”. I loved the nun! She could have been any one of he many nuns I had in Catholic Schools! The two sisters were a perfect juxtapositioning of “old school” vs “new school”! And the ending was really a surprise! I have to admit, I didn’t see that coming.

It was subtle yet clear, which is not an easy thing to accomplish. If it’s true that you won, it is a well deserved victory.

It has really refreshed my soul to watch this little film. I am firmly convinced that when Christians get some corner of the media marketplace, the public will devour the message of the Gospels.
Click to expand...
Thanks for sharing your thoughts, blessedtoo. I’m especially gratified to hear you say the nuns “could have been any one of the many nuns you had in Catholic School.” And that the "sisters were a perfect juxtapositioning of ‘old school’ vs ‘new school.’ That’s exactly the way I saw it when I chose to make this film. I would be re-miss if I didn’t acknowledge the screenwriter though. She did most of the heavy-lifting by way of writing a meaningful, heartfelt story.

I appreciate all your kinds words! :tiphat:

–Chris
 
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