W
WiccanWoman
Guest
Yes. This. This advice makes a lot of sense.
- Status
N
Nils
Guest
God bless you!
Why would you pick this Priest if you do not trust him? If this it what he tells you, then you should at leat ponder what it means. Why else would you ask for his advice, if you did not want to hear his response?
If you are called, it will show in time…
Good luck in your discernment!
Why would you pick this Priest if you do not trust him? If this it what he tells you, then you should at leat ponder what it means. Why else would you ask for his advice, if you did not want to hear his response?
If you are called, it will show in time…
Good luck in your discernment!
B
bben15
Guest
Hello, I pray for you on your possible vocation. 
Your priest might feel like things are moving a little too fast. As you mentioned, you are a recent convert. You don’t want to jump into things. You might want to take at least 2 years to discern your vocation to monastic life. Your priest just wants you to think of other options so you can be certain that God is truly calling you to monastic life. In the meantime, pray. Praying is the best way to discern a vocation.
I pray that you discern what God truly wants you to do. God Bless.
Your priest might feel like things are moving a little too fast. As you mentioned, you are a recent convert. You don’t want to jump into things. You might want to take at least 2 years to discern your vocation to monastic life. Your priest just wants you to think of other options so you can be certain that God is truly calling you to monastic life. In the meantime, pray. Praying is the best way to discern a vocation.I pray that you discern what God truly wants you to do. God Bless.
W
WiccanWoman
Guest
Today I stumbled upon a lovely and honest blog entry which I think may be meaningful to you, Gemma.
myheartmyall.wordpress.com/2013/03/01/captured-by-love/
I hope reading this brings you closer to the answer you seek.
Namaste.
myheartmyall.wordpress.com/2013/03/01/captured-by-love/
I hope reading this brings you closer to the answer you seek.
Namaste.
N
NatJ
Guest
Hi Gemma!
I am an Australian girl, discerning vocation at the moment… and I feel the same way that you do about giving my life to God- everything else (including boys) has faded into the background a bit
My advice to you would be to check out this site:
catholicozvocations.org.au/Home/Catholic-Life/Religious-Sister
and see which order speaks to the gifts God has given you, and which ones call you most strongly. Once you have scouted, then send an email or write to them. They are really great at answering questions and most offer discernment retreats or weekend visits so that you can really get a feel of the order and their charism.
I was just wondering if you would feel comfortable telling me what diocese you are a part of?
I am an Australian girl, discerning vocation at the moment… and I feel the same way that you do about giving my life to God- everything else (including boys) has faded into the background a bit
My advice to you would be to check out this site:
catholicozvocations.org.au/Home/Catholic-Life/Religious-Sister
and see which order speaks to the gifts God has given you, and which ones call you most strongly. Once you have scouted, then send an email or write to them. They are really great at answering questions and most offer discernment retreats or weekend visits so that you can really get a feel of the order and their charism.
I was just wondering if you would feel comfortable telling me what diocese you are a part of?
R
readaholic86
Guest
I agree with you that it is extremely important to “respect the collar.” However, I would like to point out that not every priest is actually trained in spiritual direction.
He could also be giving advice based on what he knows and sees.
I have to say, though, that I have had more priests push me toward marriage than anyone else. I think part of it is that we need to be open to God’s will, and that means not prematurely ruling anything out. I have been saying since I was 13 that I didn’t want to get married (in an earthly sense), and I’m now 26 and still singing the same tune. BUT I had to really take a good, hard look at marriage and seriously consider it for a while to come to the conclusion that it truly is not for me. And, that “close look” showed me a lot about marriage that I’d never seen before.
My advice would be to keep discerning and don’t close any doors just yet. Just try to be open to what God may be wanting you to do and focus on your relationship with Him before concerning yourself too much about what your priest did or did not say. I would also suggest praying to St. Kateri Tekakwitha. She dealt with A LOT of opposition when she said she did not want to marry. Her family even tried to trick her into marriage! She might be able to help you.
Good luck with everything! I will keep you in my prayers!
R
Rosebud77
Guest
Very few priests understand religious life.
So the advice to visit a convent is right and good. Simply go to mass and do not discuss with the priest is also good just now.
A vocation is between you and God; talking to people too much is bad! And that often applies to talking on an open forum like this. You will be bombarded with views from folk you will never meet…
To justify what…
Sometimes we rely too much in seeking approval from others.
So the advice to visit a convent is right and good. Simply go to mass and do not discuss with the priest is also good just now.
A vocation is between you and God; talking to people too much is bad! And that often applies to talking on an open forum like this. You will be bombarded with views from folk you will never meet…
To justify what…
Sometimes we rely too much in seeking approval from others.
T
tijeras
Guest
Priests are people too, in every respect. It’s okay to get a second opinion. Respect the collar, yes, but maybe check with another collar too.
If you’re a new convert, and you’re young, and you’re alone in your family, then you’re going to need some time to discern your vocation, whatever it is. This priest can’t just “ba-boom, you’re called to married life” any more than you can “ba-boom, i’m called to religious life”. It doesn’t work like that.
It takes time, and discernment. I was in your shoes (except from a then-nominal Catholic family, very opposed to my becoming a nun) about fifteen years ago. Young, enthused, zealous, nothing important to me but God. That’s a good start for anyone, whatever their vocation. Now, as a wife and mother, shouldn’t I still be zealous and enthused, and most concerned about those things that lead me to God and are my responsibilities given by Him in my vocation? Some people never feel an interest in marriage until they meet “the one.” Some are totally boy crazy and then become great nuns. Go figure - but it takes discernment.
Definitely do not take your friend as a normalizing example. Obsessing over the superficial trappings of marriage (picking out an engagement ring? sheesh…I pity the dude who dates her) is not a sign that she is called to marriage. Rather, she may try to force it. She’s going about it wrong the same way you want to avoid doing with your vocation: assuming, not discerning.
What I’m saying is that you need to take the time to actually discern, not go ask one priest and then get overly concerned about what he said. Make sure you’re genuinely discerning, not talking yourself into something, or letting someone else talk you into (or out of) it.
Get a spiritual director. Check into orders, talk to nuns. Spend time on retreats, in prayer, at Mass, in Adoration, with frequent Confession. Learn to listen to what God is saying to you. Very often, he’s saying “Wait on Me, have patience, and I’ll show you in time, but you have things I need to teach you to get you ready to receive what I have to say to you.”
You’re in your early twenties - a LOT is going to change for you in the next ten years. Did you know your brain isn’t even fully formed until your mid-twenties (that’s when executive decision making solidifies. The frontal lobe, regulating impulse control and consequential thinking, isn’t done till early 20s)? Serious, you change so much from 20 to 30. i’m not saying you won’t become a nun someday, but you have a lot to learn about yourself, your faith, the Church, and whatever order you feel called to.
Learning to wait has been hard to me too: I’m a problem solving, “let’s make a decision and go for it” type of person. i’ve always hated trite sayings about the “journey”, but now i’m realizing how true that kind of thing is. Another way to think of it is that it’s like fruit: you’re going to eat that apple you’re eyeing on the tree, but if you pick it too soon, you ruin it. Same for major life decisions.
God bless you!
If you’re a new convert, and you’re young, and you’re alone in your family, then you’re going to need some time to discern your vocation, whatever it is. This priest can’t just “ba-boom, you’re called to married life” any more than you can “ba-boom, i’m called to religious life”. It doesn’t work like that.
It takes time, and discernment. I was in your shoes (except from a then-nominal Catholic family, very opposed to my becoming a nun) about fifteen years ago. Young, enthused, zealous, nothing important to me but God. That’s a good start for anyone, whatever their vocation. Now, as a wife and mother, shouldn’t I still be zealous and enthused, and most concerned about those things that lead me to God and are my responsibilities given by Him in my vocation? Some people never feel an interest in marriage until they meet “the one.” Some are totally boy crazy and then become great nuns. Go figure - but it takes discernment.
Definitely do not take your friend as a normalizing example. Obsessing over the superficial trappings of marriage (picking out an engagement ring? sheesh…I pity the dude who dates her) is not a sign that she is called to marriage. Rather, she may try to force it. She’s going about it wrong the same way you want to avoid doing with your vocation: assuming, not discerning.
What I’m saying is that you need to take the time to actually discern, not go ask one priest and then get overly concerned about what he said. Make sure you’re genuinely discerning, not talking yourself into something, or letting someone else talk you into (or out of) it.
Get a spiritual director. Check into orders, talk to nuns. Spend time on retreats, in prayer, at Mass, in Adoration, with frequent Confession. Learn to listen to what God is saying to you. Very often, he’s saying “Wait on Me, have patience, and I’ll show you in time, but you have things I need to teach you to get you ready to receive what I have to say to you.”
You’re in your early twenties - a LOT is going to change for you in the next ten years. Did you know your brain isn’t even fully formed until your mid-twenties (that’s when executive decision making solidifies. The frontal lobe, regulating impulse control and consequential thinking, isn’t done till early 20s)? Serious, you change so much from 20 to 30. i’m not saying you won’t become a nun someday, but you have a lot to learn about yourself, your faith, the Church, and whatever order you feel called to.
Learning to wait has been hard to me too: I’m a problem solving, “let’s make a decision and go for it” type of person. i’ve always hated trite sayings about the “journey”, but now i’m realizing how true that kind of thing is. Another way to think of it is that it’s like fruit: you’re going to eat that apple you’re eyeing on the tree, but if you pick it too soon, you ruin it. Same for major life decisions.
God bless you!
L
LittleRose
Guest
Yes.
L
LittleRose
Guest
R
Rocklands
Guest
Hi, I just came across your question. A great site for every sort of vocation question and answer that you might find helpful is www.vocation.com.
J
journeypath
Guest
Be in deep prayer about your vocation. If your believe God is calling you to serve Him as a nun, He will reveal this to you. Spend time in quiet prayer and fast. God’s blessings as you discern His will for your life.
D
DeaconPaulY
Guest
please find a good spiritual director, authorized as such by the diocese. They are usually well trained and very spiritually mature. They can help out a lot in these kinds of decisions as well as many others. Peace and Blessingson your journey with Jesus, Deacon Paul
R
Rosebud77
Guest
Preferably female and even a sister; diocesan tends not to understand religious life
P
pamkowal
Guest
Dear Gemma,
I wouldn’t worry too much about what your priest says about your suitability for becoming a nun. Only YOU know the workings of your inner heart, and part of the discernment process in any life path is to learn to trust the deepest and sometimes subtlest longings that pull you one way or another. That being said, please know that what we often long for in our youth are things that can only be developmentally discovered through the process of living. The fundamental sense of most people when they are young is a feeling of something intangible missing in their lives. We may search for external meaning through prayer, affiliation with like-minded people, the safety of submitting to a trusted authority figure, addiction, pleasure-seeking activities, marriage, children, education–well, you name it; most of us have tried several or more of these methods. In my own life, the inner longing I felt for a deeper connection with God that I had felt since early childhood was only satisfied when I stopped looking outside of myself for spiritual fulfillment and began to love my own self. I learned to send the love I had projected towards God into my own heart and to return again and again to the stillpoint within me that was unchangeable, and had never been born and would never die. I began to worship God within my own heart as an intrinsic characteristic of my own being (Love loving Itself). When I had resolved this inner relationship with myself, I no longer felt the need to search for or worship God somewhere outside myself and was finally able to say that I ‘had come home’, no matter what I was doing or where I was doing it. Perhaps your priest is only suggesting to you that you don’t need to sequester yourself in a cloister in order to ‘come home’ to the experience of God which is always all around you or to limit your love for God to so specific an experience that you shut yourself off from the abundance of grace and unconditional love that is already present right where you are. I do think, too, that perhaps your priest, who has already traversed the religious life, may be speaking from his own experience and knows the pitfalls and perils of limiting one’s love for God within the structured confines of an institutional setting that has its own set of stylistic hierachy and politics and merely wants you to consider that all paths lead to God if we unconditionally open our hearts in welcome to the natural unfolding of Life. The fact that you are questioning the priest’s comment about your suitability to become a nun suggests to me that you may need to experience a little more of life to become more fully grounded in the understanding of who you are regardless of public opinion. You might want to consider living the INNER life of a nun in the world first, even as you go about your normal daily activities, and then see if you still feel the need to make a lifelong commitment of subjection to an institutional authority. Whatever you DO choose, though, know that you do not have to worry about what tomorrow will bring, because God is already there, waiting for you with open arms. Much love, pam:heart:
I wouldn’t worry too much about what your priest says about your suitability for becoming a nun. Only YOU know the workings of your inner heart, and part of the discernment process in any life path is to learn to trust the deepest and sometimes subtlest longings that pull you one way or another. That being said, please know that what we often long for in our youth are things that can only be developmentally discovered through the process of living. The fundamental sense of most people when they are young is a feeling of something intangible missing in their lives. We may search for external meaning through prayer, affiliation with like-minded people, the safety of submitting to a trusted authority figure, addiction, pleasure-seeking activities, marriage, children, education–well, you name it; most of us have tried several or more of these methods. In my own life, the inner longing I felt for a deeper connection with God that I had felt since early childhood was only satisfied when I stopped looking outside of myself for spiritual fulfillment and began to love my own self. I learned to send the love I had projected towards God into my own heart and to return again and again to the stillpoint within me that was unchangeable, and had never been born and would never die. I began to worship God within my own heart as an intrinsic characteristic of my own being (Love loving Itself). When I had resolved this inner relationship with myself, I no longer felt the need to search for or worship God somewhere outside myself and was finally able to say that I ‘had come home’, no matter what I was doing or where I was doing it. Perhaps your priest is only suggesting to you that you don’t need to sequester yourself in a cloister in order to ‘come home’ to the experience of God which is always all around you or to limit your love for God to so specific an experience that you shut yourself off from the abundance of grace and unconditional love that is already present right where you are. I do think, too, that perhaps your priest, who has already traversed the religious life, may be speaking from his own experience and knows the pitfalls and perils of limiting one’s love for God within the structured confines of an institutional setting that has its own set of stylistic hierachy and politics and merely wants you to consider that all paths lead to God if we unconditionally open our hearts in welcome to the natural unfolding of Life. The fact that you are questioning the priest’s comment about your suitability to become a nun suggests to me that you may need to experience a little more of life to become more fully grounded in the understanding of who you are regardless of public opinion. You might want to consider living the INNER life of a nun in the world first, even as you go about your normal daily activities, and then see if you still feel the need to make a lifelong commitment of subjection to an institutional authority. Whatever you DO choose, though, know that you do not have to worry about what tomorrow will bring, because God is already there, waiting for you with open arms. Much love, pam:heart:
L
Lisa111
Guest
Im over 70, at the end of this trip, but you are just getting on the train. We went to a retreat in our senior year and my four best friends and I were all thinking of being nuns.They did but the very good priest at the retreat place, whom I knew, told me he thought I shouldnt. He said you are more immature than (the friends) and from a poor Native American family…my first duty would be to get a job and go to college and help my little sisters and my mom and dad. When I had done this I could go with no regrets and a clear mind. He knew me well and also thought that I would have trouble with the vow of obedience.I was of a culture in which individuality was prized. If one of us started acting or talking like the “herd”, we were sent to live with an auntie or grandma to redirect us to think for ourselves. Part of that is actually the Jesuits influence, too,LOL.
So what happened? Vatican ll totally messed up the lives of many faithfull, had I been a sister…I would have gone rougue. My friends went in to Dominicans, Loretto and Maryknoll nuns and two lost faith during that time. I would have not made it either, I think. I did marry, he died, I remarried one of our own tribal men and we are content. I went off track for a while…I joined pius x right away till they separated from the pope… Then I just drifted for years…then I came back 2O years ago.
BUT I SHOULD HAVE LISTENED and done what the priest said: take care of the family charitible obligations and then go into the convent later. I could have watched which orders kept their heads and traditions in the winds of vat ii. Many like loretto and Dominicans did. I regret this every single day and am so homesick for the peace and structure I know is there. I have alot of time to pray but it isnt the same. If my husband dies before me, I will go into a Catholic home with daily Mass and shut myself away to pray for my family and the world. Life from this end of it is very short. VERY short. I had many gifts and they could have been so better put to use teaching or nursing the sick…I’ll have to answer for that.
Consider the wait before you can go as a prayer. Jesus did humble carpenter work for years till He started His public life…you have much to do before you leave. Read up on all the orders and their goals and requirements. Make a plan. Write the Mistress of Novices of your choices and develop your knowledge of each. Go for an open house or a viset or retreat to check out a couple. Maybe you’d rather go to a convent in England or Europe. This is not an overnight thing. Nurture this blessed calling through prayer and be at peace and be happy. Be charitible to your family, they probably think youre in a cult, LOL.
So what happened? Vatican ll totally messed up the lives of many faithfull, had I been a sister…I would have gone rougue. My friends went in to Dominicans, Loretto and Maryknoll nuns and two lost faith during that time. I would have not made it either, I think. I did marry, he died, I remarried one of our own tribal men and we are content. I went off track for a while…I joined pius x right away till they separated from the pope… Then I just drifted for years…then I came back 2O years ago.
BUT I SHOULD HAVE LISTENED and done what the priest said: take care of the family charitible obligations and then go into the convent later. I could have watched which orders kept their heads and traditions in the winds of vat ii. Many like loretto and Dominicans did. I regret this every single day and am so homesick for the peace and structure I know is there. I have alot of time to pray but it isnt the same. If my husband dies before me, I will go into a Catholic home with daily Mass and shut myself away to pray for my family and the world. Life from this end of it is very short. VERY short. I had many gifts and they could have been so better put to use teaching or nursing the sick…I’ll have to answer for that.
Consider the wait before you can go as a prayer. Jesus did humble carpenter work for years till He started His public life…you have much to do before you leave. Read up on all the orders and their goals and requirements. Make a plan. Write the Mistress of Novices of your choices and develop your knowledge of each. Go for an open house or a viset or retreat to check out a couple. Maybe you’d rather go to a convent in England or Europe. This is not an overnight thing. Nurture this blessed calling through prayer and be at peace and be happy. Be charitible to your family, they probably think youre in a cult, LOL.
R
Rosebud77
Guest
Wish I could give you a huge HUG
But please trust God; know He loves you and all that you have done and are
and have no regrets now. Be happy and rest in Him
G
_Gemma
Guest
Thank you everyone who has responded so far, I’ve read and considered everyones opinions and advice and there is a lot to think about and consider.
Marriage is still not interesting to me, I have many years to see what I’m called for, I will not be rushing into anything.
I’m just finishing studies to be a Social Worker and think for now I will focus on working in that industry, I will look at serving God through my work and by growing in my faith and relationship with God.
This same priest, I found through further talking with him definitely does not understand me or who I am. He is a young foreign priest I should mention so there are cultural differences.
I am just going to focus on my job for now, prayer and will go where I’m called when the time is right.
Marriage is still not interesting to me, I have many years to see what I’m called for, I will not be rushing into anything.
I’m just finishing studies to be a Social Worker and think for now I will focus on working in that industry, I will look at serving God through my work and by growing in my faith and relationship with God.
This same priest, I found through further talking with him definitely does not understand me or who I am. He is a young foreign priest I should mention so there are cultural differences.
I am just going to focus on my job for now, prayer and will go where I’m called when the time is right.
G
genie79
Guest
Hi Gemma,
Thanks be to God you’ve come home to the Catholic Church, and attend daily Mass!
Just wondering which Diocese you are in (or city in Australia) - depending which city you are in, I could perhaps recommend a priest or two who are good & solid priests who can perhaps recommend good spiritual directors (if not themselves).
Yes respect the collar indeed, but at the same time, truth be told - not all priests know the teachings of the Church themselves, and only learn what they’ve been taught in the seminary, which could also be erroneous etc. And whilst all priests may have been “trained” in spiritual direction at the seminary (someone mentioned that?) - I wouldn’t say every single priest makes a great and holy spiritual director. To find a good priest or spiritual director, can be like finding a needle in a haystack.
You are in my prayers - keep up the daily Mass, daily rosary, daily spiritual reading (Catholic Christianity by Peter Kreeft - Searching for & Maintaining Peace by Fr Jacques Philippe - And You Are Christs by Fr Thomas Dubay - are some really good books to read), daily mental prayer, with a daily timetable - and persevere and don’t give up when you fall off the horse from time to time! Regular reconciliation too goes without saying
Note: if you don’t currently do all of the above, do not think you have to fit it all in! It’s a suggestion/recommendation, that will greatly help us all to be saints in our daily lives, and if you don’t currently pray the rosary daily, then start with one decade a day and work it up over time. do little things like turning off the radio and praying instead etc. The Lord will guide you and grant you many graces over time to be a saint, and all you need to do is be faithful to Him and take one step at a time each day closer to Him, and not give up when it seems dry, or seems hopeless, but to thank Him for the knowledge of our own weakness & poverty and learn to depend on Him more.
God bless!
Thanks be to God you’ve come home to the Catholic Church, and attend daily Mass!
Just wondering which Diocese you are in (or city in Australia) - depending which city you are in, I could perhaps recommend a priest or two who are good & solid priests who can perhaps recommend good spiritual directors (if not themselves).
Yes respect the collar indeed, but at the same time, truth be told - not all priests know the teachings of the Church themselves, and only learn what they’ve been taught in the seminary, which could also be erroneous etc. And whilst all priests may have been “trained” in spiritual direction at the seminary (someone mentioned that?) - I wouldn’t say every single priest makes a great and holy spiritual director. To find a good priest or spiritual director, can be like finding a needle in a haystack.
You are in my prayers - keep up the daily Mass, daily rosary, daily spiritual reading (Catholic Christianity by Peter Kreeft - Searching for & Maintaining Peace by Fr Jacques Philippe - And You Are Christs by Fr Thomas Dubay - are some really good books to read), daily mental prayer, with a daily timetable - and persevere and don’t give up when you fall off the horse from time to time! Regular reconciliation too goes without saying
Note: if you don’t currently do all of the above, do not think you have to fit it all in! It’s a suggestion/recommendation, that will greatly help us all to be saints in our daily lives, and if you don’t currently pray the rosary daily, then start with one decade a day and work it up over time. do little things like turning off the radio and praying instead etc. The Lord will guide you and grant you many graces over time to be a saint, and all you need to do is be faithful to Him and take one step at a time each day closer to Him, and not give up when it seems dry, or seems hopeless, but to thank Him for the knowledge of our own weakness & poverty and learn to depend on Him more.
God bless!
B
Bob_Crowley
Guest
Not knowing you personally, it makes it a bit hard to give advice. At least the priest knows you personally.
As a fellow Australian, the comment “we lack decent Catholic men” is a bit sweeping. But you’ll need to find practising Catholic men who really believe, and not men who just claim the title “Catholic” on their baptismal certificate.
But that’s not the point. The issue is whether you’d be suited to a religious order, and in the end that will depend on you and God.
In the meantime, it might be worth your while to get a bit more advice from other Catholic Chirstians, both lay people and religious. Talk to an order and find out more. Talk to a vocational director.
I’m Catholic now, but I used to be Protestant. I had a pastor whom I found very wise and discerning. He would sometimes tell me things I didn’t want to hear or like hearing, but he was right in the long run. Whether your priest fits into this category is up for grabs, but you need to ask a few other people.
However make sure they’re Christian and preferably sincere Catholics, with some experience under their belt.
In the meantime just keep on doing what you’re doing - a student I believe.
- Status