My priest does not want me to be a nun?

[Rafaela]

This will have to be a question that only you can answer with the help of God. I was in your shoes a few years ago. I too, posed this question to a priest I trusted, my confessor. I only ever was happy with Missionaries of Charity sisters. It was essentially my confessor whom urged me to marry my then good friend, without that advice I probably never had.

I am relatively happy with my life, but I miss terribly the time with visiting homes of the sick with the sisters. Sometimes I wonder of how many more people I could have been a mother had I not chosen to marry. I am happy that I have now found a lay group I wish to enter, but it does not change my longing to serve souls. I know I can do this in small scale in my home and I can but pray that my children will fulfil my dream of entering religious life. I wish there would have been someone there for me at that time to tell the same things these people in the forum have told you. I shall pray for you.

 

[Lisa111]

I hope you are still checking this thread. I found something really great for you. Go to
www.demontfortmusic.com and click on the picture to the right. It goes to a you tube clip of the nuns singing. Then click for other clips and it brings up a whole bunch of scenes from their daily and singing activities and one is even called "“discerment of vocation”. I loved looking at these, its how I remembered it was when I was with our dear sisters during high school…hope you enjoy these.
Every one should tune in, this is a beautifull album

 

[Cloisters]

His words were “you need a man and children to be happy”.

While you are a recent convert, if I were you, I would be contacting some other priest and ask him to be spiritual director. You could also ask these nuns to pray for your vocation intention and make a retreat on their premises: cloisters.tripod.com/au_ossr_bolwarra/

Look at the local convents. This will help you discern what you are attracted to. The Holy Ghost works on attraction.

How did he say “You need a man and children to be happy”? My knee-jerk reaction would have been, “While I respect your opinion, father, excuse me?” Was he chuckling or was he being humble and low-key? Keep in mind that discouragement is a discernment tool. He is checking to see if you know your own mind, or if you are going to assert yourself.

The next time you see him, I hope you would have been to see convents, and can say “Visiting convents!” When he asks how you are.

He can only give his opinion. If you do find Mr Right, you will have to really turn the prayer of Daily Duty into your way of life. Try practicing sleep deprivation and trying to carry on with such. Try to take care of dependents with sleep deprivation. Then you will see how important maternal hormones and instinct are.

Remember J.O.Y.: Jesus, Others, Yourself.

Blessings,
Cloisters

 

[Ridgerunner]

I haven’t read all the posts, so perhaps somebody has already said this.

When one wants to know what a way of life is, the best sources are those who are in that life. I know some very young sisters, and in their particular order they welcome women to come and examine the life they lead, to discuss the joys and challenges of it, and to do so repeatedly if the woman wants. And yes, if something seems to be in the way of the vocation, they will tell you so, and what it is. They might suggest that you do further discernment, either with them or on your own.

If I was a young woman thinking about all of this, I think that’s where I would go for my advice and guidance. I’ll confess a prejudice here. I think I would talk to one of the orders that has a lot of young sisters. I know of one in which the sisters are almost all quite young (by my standards anyway; they’re mostly in their 20s and 30s). Some orders are kind of specialized. The particular order of which I am speaking is mostly made up of RNs and psychologists; some social workers. I don’t think they refuse women who don’t already have a degree, but I think they really encourage potential candidates to complete their educations first. Possibly that’s part of the discernment process in their way of thinking, but it also does better enable the new sister to provide the particular services they provide, which is aid to unwed mothers and to women who have had abortions.

I know of another order of unusually young sisters whose particular mission is helping the poorest of the poorest of the poor. They like the candidates to have some kind of skill set in aiding people of that kind; former social workers, people with financial or child welfare expertise, even people skilled in low-budget meal preparation.

On the other hand, I know of another that is a teaching order. Very young, most of them. I don’t know if they require teaching degrees or not, but if not they probably encourage education along the way of the sisters who have already joined.

 

[Ridgerunner]

I spoke to my priest about my desire to be a nun, I told him as well that marriage isn’t even interesting to me. I’m a convert and In my early twenties. I know I’m young but i was talking to my friend who is the same age as me and a convert as well and she told me how she dreamed of marriage as a little girl and has already picked out her engagement ring… and she doesn’t even have a boyfriend yet! but I don’t have that desire, I am in love with God and want to live only for him but my priest was trying to say that i 'I am not like a nun" and would make a good wife and mother. He sad that this would make me happy, but I tried to tell him it wouldn’t.

I don’t understand why he is discouraging it? I am new to all of this, being a new Catholic but I wanted to know what people on here thought?

And by the way, Gemma, the sisters of whom I spoke in my last post are a VERY joyful group of women, and very wise. It’s kind of infectious to just be around them. If one is called to that life, that is the life in which one will be happy.

In no way am I criticizing your priest. But you know, priests don’t have a lock on wisdom, even in spiritual matters. Some of the sisters I have known are among the wisest people I have ever met.

 

[kellyleeuk]

Priests are well trained and experienced Individuals who are able to respond to such conversations appropriately. I would not be disheartened by his response, many priests have years of discernment before ordination. They know the commitment it takes from all areas of life. If anything this priest is enabling you to see if it is truly gods will you are feeling or your own by suggesting another path in your religious life. Taking such a commitment to God is never set in stone you can just decide to be a nun and become one, some seminarians discern for several years never to be ordained. The priest has really set you on a path. He has gave you another way of leading a spiritual life, a little like a test, only.time and God will enable you to see if you truly will devote your life to Christ, family or a lay person in the church. I always wante to be a nun growing up but I am now happily Married with two children, I am part of my parish and now finally know that God wants me to spread his word through teaching Religious Education. Good luck with your journey! p.s a seminarian not that long ago spoke to me about the ripple effect of Christianity, his humbling opinion on the importance of Christianity through everyday life from one person to another really shown me.why God has chosen him to be ordained - he is a true servant to God and Gods people. Wonderful - maybe visit a seminary or convent if you can, you will meet so many in.similar circumstances God bless.x

 

[Mrs_Sally]

My non-Catholic, agnostic family don’t understand me - they tell me I am not normal for not wanting marriage, they think something must be wrong with me. But they do not understand what I believe no matter how much I try to explain, they don’t understand why I pray or go to daily Mass.
Talking with my priest, I sense some unhappiness in him. I feel maybe he’s lonely - could this be a reason why he is discouraging me? He did tell me he doubts his faith at times to.

**I am a recent convert and doubt any order will accept me yet but should I still contact the vocations director? Maybe he could at least give me some advice. **
I’m more convinced now that I will be a nun. I just wish I had a priest that I could talk to that understands me, unfortunately I don’t at this time. My priest thinks I’m just a young pretty girl who would make a good wife and that’s that.

Gemma, it’s been awhile since this post, but if you are still interested in religious life, please do contact the vocations director. It is his job to help you discern religious life and get you connected with possible order for “come see” events. A parish priest often doesn’t have a sense of this since it isn’t his main job.

 

[Celtic_Maiden]

My non-Catholic, agnostic family don’t understand me - they tell me I am not normal for not wanting marriage, they think something must be wrong with me. But they do not understand what I believe no matter how much I try to explain, they don’t understand why I pray or go to daily Mass.
Talking with my priest, I sense some unhappiness in him. I feel maybe he’s lonely - could this be a reason why he is discouraging me? He did tell me he doubts his faith at times to.

I am a recent convert and doubt any order will accept me yet but should I still contact the vocations director? Maybe he could at least give me some advice.

I’m more convinced now that I will be a nun. I just wish I had a priest that I could talk to that understands me, unfortunately I don’t at this time. My priest thinks I’m just a young pretty girl who would make a good wife and that’s that.

As a Convert we are caught up with great passion for the faith in the beginning so maybe the priest just wants you to settle down and learn more about the Catholic faith and then in another 2 years time then to look into being a nun. In the meantime there is nothing stopping you writing to a few Orders that you feel drawn to could you do a spiritual week-end with them to see if you are drawn to them. Do you know at this stage is a Contemplative/ or Semi Contemplative/ Active Order that you are drawn to, when you know this then you could look up all the Orders in this field, are you attracted to the Franciscans/Dominicans/Carmelites, all I can say is the Lord does not give a Heart a desire without the means to fulfil it.

The Priest I would say means well, but you as a Convert he is being cautious , and playing Devil’s Advocate, say a prayer for this priest, and if needs be get yourself another priest for spiritual Advice even the Saints have changed Spiritual Directors.

 

[_Gemma]

I’ve noticed there has been some recent replies to this thread which I wrote up some months ago, I’m in the process of hearing back from a vocations director and the priest I had originally mentioned changed his mind and supports me becoming a nun.
I’m praying God is leading me on the right path.
Thanks for all the responses - Gemma

 

[Boy_Wonder]

Gemma:

Keep looking. Your priest may have certain reasons for trying to discourage a vocation. Take your time. Pray. Don’t rule out marriage. Communicate with vocations directors for different congregations of religious women. See what that leads to.

We all have a vocation to know, love, and serve God. We need to be open and docile to his promptings. Seek spiritual guidance from a trusted and faithful priest or sister.

I’ll pray for you.

 

[Casilda]

Just adding from experience, I have two cousins who wanted to be nuns, their family disapproved of that and they were counseled against it. Now that they are in their 50’s, never having been married, forced to focus on their careers, they keep tabs on extended family. They would have made wonderful nuns. Shouldnt this decision be between you and God?

 

[Captain_America]

I spoke to my priest about my desire to be a nun, I told him as well that marriage isn’t even interesting to me. I’m a convert and In my early twenties. I know I’m young but i was talking to my friend who is the same age as me and a convert as well and she told me how she dreamed of marriage as a little girl and has already picked out her engagement ring… and she doesn’t even have a boyfriend yet! but I don’t have that desire, I am in love with God and want to live only for him but my priest was trying to say that i 'I am not like a nun" and would make a good wife and mother. He sad that this would make me happy, but I tried to tell him it wouldn’t.

I don’t understand why he is discouraging it? I am new to all of this, being a new Catholic but I wanted to know what people on here thought?

I disagree very much with the idea that you are too young to make this decision. Let’s face it, folks, for the vast majority of us, our reason and sensibility, etc., are pretty much in place by the early 20s. You just don’t “mature” that much. . . you just get a bit more highly specific practical experiences. The decisionmaking—and the knowledge (or ignorance) of one’s self is there already.

Talk to someone else.

I say this because a friend of mine was in the same situation. My guess is that some religious feel they shouldn’t deal with a person’s decision at all, for fear of pressing a person down the wrong road, or being accused of shang-haiing a person.

Best of all: talk to religious at communities that interest you.