My Protestant bf broke with me

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I am not sure if you can be a good man while not being forthright. He knew that you are a devout Catholic and dated you and then broke up with you because you remained Catholic ? He must have known that he would not marry you unless you changed your beliefs.

Have you had a few relationships in the past ?
 
Yeah, I don’t get how that’s intolerant either. When you’re choosing someone to spend the rest of your life with, you can be as picky as you want to be. However, if he only dated her in the first place because he thought she was going to change, than that is wrong.
 
I’m sorry you broke up - and that you have that terrible heartache -
But stand your ground !
Dry your eyes and stand your ground, nobly.
Better he broke with you now - then to do it later.
Kids - raised Catholic - are cooler kids 🙂☘️
 
Thank you so much for your story. So have you found your new partner yet? I hope you can move on and be well soon.

As you had been a Protestant, actually I really don’t understand why they remain protestant?
Do you have another view on them now? after you converted.
 
I am sorry for your heartache, but the strength in your faith lightens my heart. It sounds like you were very upfront about your faith. I accept your judgement that he was a “good man”, but he may not have known the strength of your faith, know the importance of what you said, or maybe, thought you would change. If he cannot accept this, it is time to move on. Don’t know what, but God has something wonderful in store for you.
 
He broke up because he does not want his children to be raised in Catholic Faith. He did not know it’s a rule in Catholic Church for marriage.

I had a few relationships in past but didn’t work… not because of the faith
 
He loved you enough to be honest and break it off. You do not want the same things in life, your foundation beliefs are in opposition. Thank God for the wisdom he gave this young man and take this as the lesson it is, to date those who share your Faith.
 
Everyone here is right. It might not be what you want to hear, but he has done the right thing for both of you, even though it doesn’t feel like that now. He wants to marry someone sharing his faith, and you want to marry someone sharing yours - unfortunately, that means you and him aren’t compatible. At least he had the integrity not to lead you on regardless, or assume he could convert you. And one day I am sure you’ll find someone really right for you.
 
SacredHeartBassist said:
You said he’s a good man. But he’s not that good. He flipped the script on you and now is trying to manipulate you into giving up what you believe for him.

LEt him go
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That is harsh way to look at it. They have different beliefs. That doesn’t mean either of them is not a good person. At least they both feel strong enough about their beliefs that they would end a relationship if their values don’t align with those of the person they are with. A lot of people aren’t brave enough to do that.
 
Real love doesn’t hurt (unless your making sacrifices for God but, that is another post).

If he doesn’t want to marry you within the church’s term then that is just God telling you that this was not the door for you. God will open another door somewhere and it will be real love. Wait for that because it is worth it. I hope you feel better soon. Breakups can be very difficult. Keep trusting God through this. He knows what he is doing.

God bless you. ✝️
 
littlebird said:
I am not sure if you can be a good man while not being forthright. He knew that you are a devout Catholic and dated you and then broke up with you because you remained Catholic ? He must have known that he would not marry you unless you changed your beliefs.
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I would not accuse him of not being forthright. It’s possible that he had to think deeply about all of this and changed his mind. His beliefs, no doubt, are every bit as important to him is OP’s are to her. There is a reason they weren’t already married. He had not made that level of commitment to her. People are allowed to change their minds. It is a healthy thing to do.
 
It’s one thing to have your own beliefs, it’s another to flip the script on someone when they’re already emotionally invested and have spent a long time with them that they’re considering marriage.

He’s not that great. It’s not a harsh way of looking at it.
 
SacredHeartBassist said:
He’s not that great. It’s not a harsh way of looking at it.
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I still believe it is too harsh. Maybe he investigated what raising children in the Catholic church entails, and decided it was just not something he could agree to. That does not mean he’s not forthright. That meant he needed to collect additional information he didn’t know existed. If you would like to judge people that harshly, I guess that is your business. I prefer to go through life giving people the benefit of the doubt.
 
I’m actually glad for you that your protestant friend was so forthcoming with his intentions - far better to struggle with this now than after you are married and children are born.

I know it’s hard - but it’s a hidden mercy. It is far, far easier and safer spiritually to marry a Catholic.
Don’t worry - there are some out there. 🙂
 
Ok, then he wasnt prudent or considerate. He knew that she was a “devout Catholic” and did not consider what this means. If anyone says that they are devout, the other should consider that there may be rules,customs,etc. To think that “devout Catholic” is just words or a title, is inconsiderate.

It is healthier to know yourself and to consider compatibility factors before just dating anyone and seeing where it goes. A lot of people get hurt because of people that are not forthright or considerate. A religious faith is easy to examine or consider right from the start. Other compatibility factors may take time to notice and time to determine if there is a deal breaker or not.
 
Well none of us is perfect, or does things perfectly. Hopefully he learned some valuable lessons, too, from this. The Catholic Church is a very rigid religion when it comes to all things marriage and rearing children. It is not for the faint of heart. I can see where, once he realized the enormity of the things he would need to commit to, he went running. Again, I think people put too much expectation on what is “owed” prior to marriage. Dating is the time to figure out if someone is suitable to be a spouse. He decided “no”. I don’t see anything wrong in what he did. In fact, good for him for being honest and not just agreeing to go along because that is what was easiest for the moment. That kind of thing happens a lot, and it is the future kids who pay the price when the couple divorces.
 
littlebird said:
He knew that she was a “devout Catholic” and did not consider what this means.
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In our world today, few Catholics know what “devout” means, let alone non-Catholics who know. For most Evangelicals (Baptists are Fundamental Evangelicals) think “devout” means that you go to church every Sunday and you don’t believe in pre-marital sex. I imagine the man found out that this means Holy Days of Obligation and no contraception and fasting and infant baptism and praying to Mary and knew that was not what he wants for his wife or kids. FAR better the hurt come now than after the first baby is born.
 
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