My sister....how could she do this

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Sometimes to protect yourself and your family you need to remove the evil from your lives. Your sister has chosen this life and appears to be trying to drag your family into it with her. I would tolerate this no more than I would an alcoholic family member trying to ply alcohol on my children.

I come from a huge family and have chosen to remove some of them from my life. I ask myself, if they were not my brother would I have anything to do with this person? You sister sounds like a vengeful * that has destroyed her life and now has time to destroy those around her.
 
SamH said:
Sometimes to protect yourself and your family you need to remove the evil from your lives. Your sister has chosen this life and appears to be trying to drag your family into it with her. I would tolerate this no more than I would an alcoholic family member trying to ply alcohol on my children.

I come from a huge family and have chosen to remove some of them from my life. I ask myself, if they were not my brother would I have anything to do with this person? You sister sounds like a vengeful * that has destroyed her life and now has time to destroy those around her.
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Sam, I hear you.

If she didn’t have my nephew it would be easier to do. As it is now we live a few states away from each other so we are for the most part, removed from each others daily lives which I think is a good thing.
 
I am very sorry to hear about your sister and the baby Shanny! Sometimes when you are raised in one way it’s hard to you know get out of that “comfort” zone and try and learn something better or they are closed to any truth or any right, closed to something else… She seems like she’s happy with the life your father taught her, you on the other hand seemed to search for GOD and are staying close to HIM! thank GOD you decided to love Him! I am sorry your sister hasn’t found HIM yet… It’s a hard and long road, it really is, and unfortunately karma has a way of getting us back for all the things we did in our past… It’s just life you know?! God loves you, and your family! And that baby is in heaven…I hope your nephew never finds out, I couldn’t bare the thought of sadness, disappointment, betrayal and maybe even resentment for his mother, how terrible is that! 😦 We don’t need another sad child in this world, GOD is taking care of the babies she decided not to have, He’s loving them and keeping them safe!!!

Prayers are definitely with you and your family! Just be there for her, we can’t judge her, her decisions are not your own, just love her, and your nephew. Her life is not your own, however free loading they are or not, let them live how they want to and just go on with yours. Keep in touch with your nephew and talk to your sister, whom knows invite her over for Bible study or girl’s night out with church members or something that might get her finding GOD you know?! Right now she’s a lost sheep and her shepherd is looking for her. GOD willing He will find her soon and she will find Him as well…

GOD bless…hang in there…Hopefully soon things will get better for her when she finds GOD.
 
Oh ShannyK, I am so sorry. Prayers. How sad.

Your sister must be at least a bit sad… if she sounded tired and run down etc… I mean… nobody enjoys getting an abortion.

I don’t know if it would have helped much if she talked to you about it first. How sad. So terribly sad. I can understand how you couldn’t sleep.

I have a close friend who had an abortion while she was engaged and her fiance and her were making plenty of money. They just didn’t want a baby right then… (but had a planned one less than 2 years later). I prayed for this child and I consider this child my Godson/daughter even though that honour was never actually bestowed on me. I think about this child often and as for intercession once in awhile, especially when the prayer revolves around their family and other siblings.
 
I’m praying for you and your sister and the whole family.

I’ve been where your sister is and I know many women who have been there too. An abortion is a violent act and is always a trauma for the mother and her family. Women from all races and creeds experience at some point the regret, guilt and shame of killing their own child. Now abortion regret doesn’t happen right away and is different for each woman. In general, it takes at least 10 years for her to realize what she has done and how it is affecting her.

Our abortions are causing us depression, eating disorders, anxiety disorder, panic attacks, attempting suicide, promiscuity, being in abusive relationships, doing drugs, alcohol, addiction to pain killers, impossibility to bond with our “wanted” children or being over protective of them… I wouldn’t be surprised if she is having/doing one of two of the above. Chances are, her abortion as a teenager has traumatized her and it was probably a mental struggle to carry your nephew to term and to raise him. And now another abortion on top of that? I don’t know your family but I’m guessing that your sister’s mental health is very fragile and I’m worried about your nephew. I’m not writing this to frighten you but just to let you know what you are dealing with.

Even though you are feeling otherwise, she might very well feel miserable right now and beat herself up. Don’t give up on her, and pray. She needs help. She said “talk to you later”, well do that, talk to her later.
I encourage you to read abortion testimonies on this website to help you answer some of your questions (including the title of the thread) silentnomoreawareness.org/

God Bless you and I’m so sorry that you have to deal with this. Love&Prayers
 
I am sorry to hear about your situation:( My prayers are with you and the deceased baby. :signofcross: As someone who has made this horrid mistake, I can tell you that she is not as casual as you think she is and if she feels that she is being judge by you her defense mechanism is going to be anger and lash out. Hopefully you can pray a rosary for her. May God shed light and comfort you
 
So thankful to all the ladies on the board who are sharing their personal experiences…it takes a lot of courage. Whenever I see women at aboriton rallies who hold up the “I regret my abortion” signs I always feel that their message is the most powerful. Lets pray that someday Shanny’s sister will be able to see the light and join all of you in protecting other women from this.
 
I am sorry to hear about your situation, what happened was horrible, and the way she informed you and your mother, made things even worse. I will keep your family in my prayers, and hopefully one day, she will realize and regret what she has done.
 
whatevergirl said:
I’m so sorry to hear this, shanny. Prayers for your family.
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:sad_yes::sad_yes:
MercyMia said:
So thankful to all the ladies on the board who are sharing their personal experiences…it takes a lot of courage. Whenever I see women at aboriton rallies who hold up the “I regret my abortion” signs I always feel that their message is the most powerful. Lets pray that someday Shanny’s sister will be able to see the light and join all of you in protecting other women from this.
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:byzsoc::gopray2::signofcross:
 
Carjack1 said:
I am sorry to hear about your situation:( My prayers are with you and the deceased baby. :signofcross: As someone who has made this horrid mistake, I can tell you that she is not as casual as you think she is and if she feels that she is being judge by you her defense mechanism is going to be anger and lash out. Hopefully you can pray a rosary for her. May God shed light and comfort you
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hi Carjack. Thanks for your words of advice and for giving your perspective:)

I don’t want to get into a whole thing here…but if my sister feels judged by me, then it’s becasue she has a guilty conscience not becasue I judge her or come across as judging her.

Like I said this is her second abortion, so we have been down this road before. She knows that I would say the same things I said last time…I will take the baby, I will help you, mom will help you, brother and sisters and grandparents will help you…whatever it takes for you not to do this. Nothing but support was ever offered to her, and she did it anyway.

Regarding her particular situation we never discussed the moral aspect becasue she very much believes there is nothing that is objectively right or wrong, and talking to her about sin is just a recipe for her to blow up, so the discussion never went down that road.

However she was raised Catholic. She knows what that means regarding abortion. She knows it’s a dear subject in our family b/c I was conceived in rape and my mother was pressured to have an abortion. She knows that if she came to us and said “I’m pregnant and going to get an abortion” we couldn’t say “ok”. But OK is all my sister wants to hear about this and anything she does. If you don’t agree with her on anything from abortion to the color of the sky she *will not *hear it. She has alienated a lot of people this way.

I’m 100% sure she is not as casual about it as she seems and I’m sure her attitude and vindictiveness are emotional walls and a sign of depression. However it’s not becasue of me judging her, it’s becasue this is what abortion does to people.

I hold no judgment against her, I just feel sorrow for her and for my nieces and nephews who were murdered and thrown away like trash. I feel angry that she did this, I feel angry at the people around her who perpetuate this way of thinking. I don’t think anger is out of line here. She’s taken our family members and killed them, what kind of person would I be if I wasn’t angry?
 
shannyk said:
hi Carjack. Thanks for your words of advice and for giving your perspective:)

I don’t want to get into a whole thing here…but if my sister feels judged by me, then it’s becasue she has a guilty conscience That is usally the case.not becasue I judge her or come across as judging her.

Like I said this is her second abortion, so we have been down this road before. She knows that I would say the same things I said last time…I will take the baby, I will help you, mom will help you, brother and sisters and grandparents will help you…whatever it takes for you not to do this. Nothing but support was ever offered to her, and she did it anyway.

Regarding her particular situation we never discussed the moral aspect becasue she very much believes there is nothing that is objectively right or wrong, and talking to her about sin is just a recipe for her to blow up, so the discussion never went down that road.

However she was raised Catholic. She knows what that means regarding abortion. She knows it’s a dear subject in our family b/c I was conceived in rape God bless your mother for her courage.and my mother was pressured to have an abortion. She knows that if she came to us and said “I’m pregnant and going to get an abortion” we couldn’t say “ok”. But OK is all my sister wants to hear about this and anything she does. If you don’t agree with her on anything from abortion to the color of the sky she *will not *hear it. She has alienated a lot of people this way.

I’m 100% sure she is not as casual about it as she seems and I’m sure her attitude and vindictiveness are emotional walls and a sign of depression. However it’s not becasue of me judging her, it’s becasue this is what abortion does to people.Definitely!!

I hold no judgment against her, I just feel sorrow for her and for my nieces and nephews who were murdered and thrown away like trash. I feel angry that she did this, I feel angry at the people around her who perpetuate this way of thinking. I don’t think anger is out of line here. She’s taken our family members and killed them, what kind of person would I be if I wasn’t angry?
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That is very true. Hopefully God will wake her up.
 
I don’t know if this helps, but after I had my abortion, I just felt numb and wouldn’t allow myself to feel any sadness. I had to do this in order to cope with my loss.
 
Serap said:
I don’t know if this helps, but after I had my abortion, I just felt numb and wouldn’t allow myself to feel any sadness. I had to do this in order to cope with my loss.
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Absolutely, I’m SURE she does feel numb. I don’t see how she couldn’t.
 
Shanny, the scariest part of this to me, and I’m sure it has crossed your mind too, is that your sister is knowingly and repeatedly, without remorse or repentance, committing a mortal sin. Eventually her actions will forever separate her from the loving Grace of God and the salvific powers of Christ’s Sacrifice on the Cross. From all you have said, at this point all anyone can do is pray for her conversion and her immortal soul. Remember, you are not her keeper and you and your other family members must take care not to allow the pain and sorrow she is inflicting to overwhelm you and assert itself between you and God.

You are in my heart and my prayers.
 
Shanny - I am so sorry. There are no words appropriate for this situation - I will pray for your family.

~Liza
 
jjbulano said:
Shanny, the scariest part of this to me, and I’m sure it has crossed your mind too, is that your sister is knowingly and repeatedly, without remorse or repentance, committing a mortal sin. Eventually her actions will forever separate her from the loving Grace of God and the salvific powers of Christ’s Sacrifice on the Cross. From all you have said, at this point all anyone can do is pray for her conversion and her immortal soul. Remember, you are not her keeper and you and your other family members must take care not to allow the pain and sorrow she is inflicting to overwhelm you and assert itself between you and God.

You are in my heart and my prayers.
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she’s not in mortal sin if she doesn’t realize that it’s a grave matter and is purposely turning away from God. a person acting in ignorance is not doomed for Hell.

believe it or not, many people believe that abortion is justified and that it’s not a baby yet…just a blob of cells. i don’t understand this line of thinking, but it’s true. :eek:
 
Sadly, Serap, Shanny has explained that she was raised Catholic, the family has talked to her about it, and she knows what she is doing. All the guilt and depression in the world will not save her if she doesn’t stop what she is doing and ask for forgiveness (with a contrite heart).
 
jjbulano said:
Sadly, Serap, Shanny has explained that she was raised Catholic, the family has talked to her about it, and she knows what she is doing. All the guilt and depression in the world will not save her if she doesn’t stop what she is doing and ask for forgiveness (with a contrite heart).
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well I’m hoping for her sake that she’s not in mortal sin…that’s between her and God.

i will pray for her though.
 
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