My sister is gay, I'm heartbroken & in dire need of advice

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That is far from saying “stay away from me and out of my home until you can stop sinning”
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Actually that is what the cleansing of the temple said almost to the word.

I believe “sola scriptura” is the term I’m thinking of

Sola Scriptora is latin for scripture alone, or nearabouts, The Catholic church teaches that we are not to go by scripture alone but by scripture, tradition and the Holy Spirit. So it states that we are to read the scriptures and apply it thought Church teaching that is lead by the Holy spirit. This has nothing to do with how “we intereperet the Bible” in fact most Catholic theologions are contextual interpraters of the Bible rather than literal. You are confused on the meaning of sola scriptora and are propogating a misconception about the Chuch, please cite true Catholic teaching or none at all. Catholics are and have been free to read and intreperet the Bible as the Spirit (or lack there of) leads them. If it were not so then the meditations in the Magnificat would be against teaching and so would every Homily that offered a priest opinion. The rosary would also be under fire because that is from scripure and we meditate on what it means.

I didnt say that he didnt tell them to stop. I said he didnt tell them to stay away from him and out of his home until they stopped sinning.

Please give me one example of this. The Bible is a big book so all I am asking for is one example. This may be your opinion but it is NOWHERE in scripture or Chuch teaching in the CCC.
 
Another point is if what you are saying is followed through with then Jesus does not require that one be clean and pure to be with Him The reconciliation, and state of Grace have no meaning either. I am unclear on if you are Catholic or not but one would hope if you are that you would be in a state of grace for the Eucharist (in ecence recieving Christ) which would contradict your point that Christ would’t “hang” with sinners and not require them to stop.

Also CCC
2359 Homosexual persons are called to chastity. By the virtues of self-mastery that teach them inner freedom, at times by the support of disinterested friendship, by prayer and sacramental grace, they can and should gradually and resolutely approach Christian perfection
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Please read the other biblical citations in my previous posts especially the cleansing of the temple and the one about if a body part causes you to sin cut it off. We can talk literally or contextually but we would both agree that Jusus calls every person to repent and follow Him. You can not be with Jesus unless you are willing to go His Way.
 
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If i had minor chidren living at home she would not be welcome in my home with her partner.

Yeah I think Christ would have probably done the same thing, good job THUMBS UP

(that was sarcasm in case you couldnt tell)
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With all due respect do you have children? When my children we lving at home we had strict rules for overnight visitors(well actually we have the same rules now also). if you were not married you slept in seperate rooms(even if you had been living together for years). Its different, however, to try and explain to your children the realtionship between a same sex couple. Telling them to sleep in sepwerate rooms doesnt quite cut it since there is no way their relationship can EVER be made licit(as opposed to the heterosexual couple).
 
Cardinalsong said:
Actually, I’ve known this for a year and a half but just got news that my sister & her girlfriend are in the process of adopting. That just pushed me over the edge!

First and foremost, prayers are definitely needed. :gopray2:

After that, I’m at a loss. She lives clear across the country from me & we haven’t spoken much since she revealed her so called “lifestyle”. She knows I don’t approve but at the same time she also knows I love her very much. I just don’t know what to say. We were so close at one time.

She is a Christian living a deceived life & is a member of an “inclusive” type of church. I don’t know. I include her & her friend in my prayers daily, asking God to forgive both of them.

“Lord forgive them, for they know not what they do”. In a sense they don’t. They are thouroughly convinced that God is OK with the way they are living, after all, aren’t we all sinners?

Yes we are, but we surely don’t want to intentionally commit a mortal sin on a daily basis. :nope:

Any suggestions on how to approach this without destroying our relationship?
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My best advice I could give you is to watch the Movie Prayers for Bobby. This will help you deal with the issues you are currently having.
 
Sometime many declare themselves gay but they aren’t gay, they are confused. Some are truly homosexual. Our standard for moral has changed and it isn’t a big deal to use sexuality whatever we please versus to use it to reproduce as God first command.

You know in your heart that isn’t a sin at all to be gay, this is what we do with our full consent that could lead to sin. That we are gay or not, sexuality isn’t use as it was meant to do.

I don’t support gay marriage neither for them to find another way to reproduce themselves. I used to think that if they adopt a child that has no chance to have a good family, then what is worst for them, never being loved or being loved. Now that i am a strong Catholic, i understand that the soul survival is so critical, so if your sister proceed with this, this child will have you to pray for them always. Some mothers are far worst bad example and they children still find the way but they need prayer.

I would pray this way.

Dear God, please if this is ok, intervene and bring light and discernment in their decision. Remind them how much they are so loved by you and at anything they can go back to you. I beg of you to protect all children in all ways and for their tutor to always guide them as per your divine will, so they will always embrace their path to go to heaven with you. I pray for all the perfect graces and miracles in Jesus name. Amen.

I find that many adults has forgotten to grow and they are still in the teenager mode seeking for approval. Pray Mother Mary to be at the side of your sister, she love her children and she is so committed to protect them.
 
Some of these posts are really confusing. If we truly love someone, we will their good. There is no way that these sins that cry to the heavens can be good for them as it takes them away from God. If we love them, we have no choice but to be pained by what they are doing to themselves and to God.
 
Your first post shows that you are actually handling this situation well. It is a difficult thing to deal with and no wonder that your relationship has changed. Keep praying for her as well as for yourself and ask to be guided in this situation. God will show you how to proceed.
 
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Jesus says: Thou shalt not judge". Judging is a serious sin, particularly in relation to the Family (our Brothers and Sisters God gave us here on Earth) and towards all of our Brothers and Sisters in Christ.

How do you think your Sister feels in relation to isolation, rejection and alienation from members of her own family and any communities at large being a little different from the norm? You know, the “norm” being heterosexual yet we are all sinners being the “norm”!!

I view the judgement and forgiveness of sins being God our Heavenly Father, The Holy Spirit, Jesus Christ our Saviour’s domain and business; not ours as Christians and/or Catholics.

There is a person who is of homosexual persuasion in my family and I have never treated my family member any differently since being told well over 15 years ago.

Love and best wishes Sister in Jesus and Happy Easter
 
“Judging” in the context Christ spoke about was to say someone is going to hell or someone is in hell. That’s it. We should never make such a judgment, because that would be putting ourselves in God’s place, saying that we know the state of an immortal soul. However, to say to someone that his sinful action is sin is not judging. It is quite the opposite: it is charity, because such admonishment comes from seeking the sinner’s soul’s best good.
 
Words and Prayers of St. Isaac the Syrian

Let yourself be persecuted, but do not persecute others.
Be crucified, but do not crucify others.
Be slandered, but do not slander others.
Rejoice with those who rejoice, and weep with those who weep: such is the sign of purity.
Suffer with the sick.
Be afflicted with sinners.
Exult with those who repent.
Be the friend of all, but in your spirit remain alone.
Be a partaker of the sufferings of all, but keep your body distant from all.
Rebuke no one, revile no one, not even those who live very wickedly.
Spread your cloak over those who fall into sin, each and every one, and shield them.
And if you cannot take the fault on yourself and accept punishment in their place,
do not destroy their character.

Peace
 
Saint Seraphim of Sarov

Non-Judgment and the Forgiveness of Offenses

It is not right to judge anyone, even if you have seen someone sinning and wallowing in the violations of God’s laws with your own eyes, as is said in the word of God: “Judge not, that ye be not judged” (Mt. 7:1). “Who art thou that judgest another man’s servant? to his own master he standeth or falleth. Yea, he shall be holden up: for God is able to make him stand” (Rom. 14:4). It is much better always to bring to memory the words of the apostle: “Wherefore let him that thinketh he standeth take heed lest he fall” (1 Cor. 10:12).

One must not harbor anger or hatred towards a person that is hostile toward us. On the contrary, one must love him and do as much good as possible towards him, following the teaching of our Lord Jesus Christ: “Love your enemies, do good to them that hate you” (Mt. 5:44). If then we will try to fulfill all this to the extent of our power, we can hope that God’s light will begin to shine in our hearts, lighting our path to the heavenly Jerusalem.

Why do we judge our neighbors? Because we are not trying to get to know ourselves. Someone busy trying to understand himself has no time to notice the shortcomings of others. Judge yourself — and you will stop judging others. Judge a poor deed, but do not judge the doer. It is necessary to consider yourself the most sinful of all, and to forgive your neighbor every poor deed. One must hate only the devil, who tempted him. It can happen that someone might appear to be doing something bad to us, but in reality, because of the doer’s good intentions, it is a good deed. Besides, the door of penitence is always open, and it is not known who will enter it sooner — you, “the judge,” or the one judged by you.

Peace
 
I could pull out a bunch of scripture too, about how we are supposed to correct our brothers and sisters in their sins and wash our hands of them when they refuse to change their ways. But I’m not generally a fan of pulling scripture apart from sacred tradition with other Catholics who should know that we don’t do that. The Church has spoken that we have a duty to stand against these actions so if we are to be in line with the church the OP must oppose what her sister is doing. I think we should be careful about urging others to go against the church under the guise of “love”.
 
USCCB
…Respect for the God-given dignity of all persons means the recognition of human rights and responsibilities. The teachings of the Church make it clear that the fundamental human rights of homosexual persons must be defended and that all of us must strive to eliminate any forms of injustice, oppression, or violence against them (cf. The Pastoral Care of Homosexual Persons, 1986, no. 10).

It is not sufficient only to avoid unjust discrimination. Homosexual persons “must be accepted with respect, compassion and sensitivity” (Catechism of the Catholic Church, no. 2358). They, as is true of every human being, need to be nourished at many different levels simultaneously. This includes friendship, which is a way of loving and is essential to healthy human development. It is one of the richest possible human experiences. Friendship can and does thrive outside of genital sexual involvement.

The Christian community should offer its homosexual sisters and brothers understanding and pastoral care. More than twenty years ago we bishops stated that “Homosexuals . . . should have an active role in the Christian community” (National Conference of Catholic Bishops, To Live in Christ Jesus: A Pastoral Reflection on the Moral Life, 1976, p. 19). What does this mean in practice? It means that all homosexual persons have a right to be welcomed into the community, to hear the word of God, and to receive pastoral care. Homosexual persons living chaste lives should have opportunities to lead and serve the community. However, the Church has the right to deny public roles of service and leadership to persons, whether homosexual or heterosexual, whose public behavior openly violates its teachings.

The Church also recognizes the importance and urgency of ministering to persons with HIV/AIDS. Though HIV/AIDS is an epidemic affecting the whole human race, not just homosexual persons, it has had a devastating effect upon them and has brought great sorrow to many parents, families, and friends.

Without condoning self-destructive behavior or denying personal responsibility, we reject the idea that HIV/AIDS is a direct punishment from God. Furthermore

Persons with AIDS are not distant, unfamiliar people, the objects of our mingled pity and aversion. We must keep them present to our consciousness as individuals and a community, and embrace them with unconditional love. . . . Compassion—love—toward persons infected with HIV is the only authentic Gospel response. (National Conference of Catholic Bishops, Called to Compassion and Responsibility: A Response to the HIV/AIDS Crisis, 1989)

Nothing in the Bible or in Catholic teaching can be used to justify prejudicial or discriminatory attitudes and behaviors.2 We reiterate here what we said in an earlier statement:

We call on all Christians and citizens of good will to confront their own fears about homosexuality and to curb the humor and discrimination that offend homosexual persons. We understand that having a homosexual orientation brings with it enough anxiety, pain and issues related to self-acceptance without society bringing additional prejudicial treatment. (Human Sexuality: A Catholic Perspective for Education and Lifelong Learning, 1991, p. 55)

usccb.org/issues-and-action/human-life-and-dignity/homosexuality/always-our-children.cfm

Peace
 
No one is arguing against respecting and loving homosexuals with compassion. But what does that mean? That does NOT mean we don’t judge the sins of the homosexual lifestyle. That does NOT mean we expose our children to it. That does NOT mean we refrain from verbally opposing such lifestyles. That does NOT mean we treat them as if their “marriage” is the same as a real marriage:

vatican.va/roman_curia/congregations/cfaith/documents/rc_con_cfaith_doc_20030731_homosexual-unions_en.html

"Moral conscience requires that, in every occasion, Christians give witness to the whole moral truth, which is contradicted both by approval of homosexual acts and unjust discrimination against homosexual persons. Therefore, discreet and prudent actions can be effective; these might involve: unmasking the way in which such tolerance might be exploited or used in the service of ideology; stating clearly the immoral nature of these unions; reminding the government of the need to contain the phenomenon within certain limits so as to safeguard public morality and, above all, to avoid exposing young people to erroneous ideas about sexuality and marriage that would deprive them of their necessary defences and contribute to the spread of the phenomenon. Those who would move from tolerance to the legitimization of specific rights for cohabiting homosexual persons need to be reminded that the approval or legalization of evil is something far different from the toleration of evil.

In those situations where homosexual unions have been legally recognized or have been given the legal status and rights belonging to marriage, clear and emphatic opposition is a duty. One must refrain from any kind of formal cooperation in the enactment or application of such gravely unjust laws and, as far as possible, from material cooperation on the level of their application. In this area, everyone can exercise the right to conscientious objection."
 
hazcompat said:
So what exactly is your advise to the OP?

Peace
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I didn’t give any advice since the post is from 2006 and the situation has surely progressed by now. However I am looking for more detailed practical advice on these types of situations which lead me to read through the responses. It’s precisely because I love my family members that I’m not OK with simply pretending everything is fine and reminding myself that The Lord will judge the one day. I care about their eternal souls as well as my own. Additionally, I’m thankful to the brave who have confronted me in my sin and set me straight by teaching me the fullness of truth.
 
What if, because of terrible abuse as a child, the objective grave matter of homosexuality is excused by an inability to know or consent? Can one of these approach the blessed sacrament?

Peace
 
hazcompat said:
What if, because of terrible abuse as a child, the objective grave matter of homosexuality is excused by an inability to know or consent? Can one of these approach the blessed sacrament?

Peace
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I’m not sure if I understand your question. Would it help to include this from the CCC?

"1857 For a sin to be mortal, three conditions must together be met: "Mortal sin is sin whose object is grave matter and which is also committed with full knowledge and deliberate consent.“131”

Beyond that, I would say that anyone suffering with this struggle should be in regular contact with a Priest for guidance.
 
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