My sister is having an abortion

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Long story short… my sister, who is 21, unmarried and with no job got pregnant. She told me and asked for my support, which I readily gave as I love my sister. At first she was thinking of keeping the baby, but now she’s set on having an abortion. She thinks that she won’t be able to give the child a proper start in life, and also, the father wants nothing to do with the child. My sister is sure that she wants an abortion - she has talked to crisis pregnancy counsellors and everything. The date for the abortion is next week.

As I said, I love and adore my sister, and I want to support her in everything she does. But I’m also pro-life, which my sister knows.

What do I do? Is there anything I can do? What should I say to my sister? I’m at a loss as to what to say because on one hand, I want to support her and love her, and on the other hand, I don’t want her to do anything which she might regret.
 
May God bless you and your sister and her precious little child.

Please contact a local crisis pregnancy center to help you know how to help her.

Below are some links for Post Abortion. You may want to read these.

The links below will let you know how you sister may likely suffer from aborting the precious child in her womb.

Abortion is often a “quick” reaction to fear. When it settles in the mother’s heart how she has destroyed her own precious helpless child, she often suffers greatly.

Project Rachel :Hope after Abortion hopeafterabortion.com/

CAF Thread forums.catholic-questions.org/showthread.php?t=720116&highlight=post+abortion+blog

Post Abortion Walk blog
postabortionwalk.blogspot.com/2012/10/life-after-abortion.html

Rachel’s Vineyard rachelsvineyard.org/

Silent No More silentnomoreawareness.org/

October Baby youtube.com/watch?v=I_9l7lEe-AA

pattimaguirearmstrong.com/2012/04/healing-through-october-baby.html

Surrendering the Secret surrenderingthesecret.com/

National Helpline for Abortion Recovery nationalhelpline.org/

Abby Johnson abbyjohnson.org/

Abby Johnson - book - *unPlanned *unplannedthebook.com/
 
Everything that is created has the right to live. Does she know her baby already has his/her eye color, sex and hair color determined? At conception, the blue print for everything is there! Maybe when you talk to her talk as if the baby is a girl or boy, instead of just saying it. If she can realize it is a person (mini-me) then maybe her feelings will change. Make your words be personal instead of generic when discussing a new soul. Words that are bolded, if you use them, I think hit home more.

Of course, adoption is always non selfish choice!
 
Hicup said:
Long story short… my sister, who is 21, unmarried and with no job got pregnant. She told me and asked for my support, which I readily gave as I love my sister. At first she was thinking of keeping the baby, but now she’s set on having an abortion. She thinks that she won’t be able to give the child a proper start in life, and also, the father wants nothing to do with the child. My sister is sure that she wants an abortion - she has talked to crisis pregnancy counsellors and everything. The date for the abortion is next week.

As I said, I love and adore my sister, and I want to support her in everything she does. But I’m also pro-life, which my sister knows.

What do I do? Is there anything I can do? What should I say to my sister? I’m at a loss as to what to say because on one hand, I want to support her and love her, and on the other hand, I don’t want her to do anything which she might regret.
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Ask for a mass to be said with the intention of your sister having a change of mind

http://www.seraphicmass.org/gift_card_cart.asp?subid={0E481FBE-63F7-4CDE-8311-725C8D85F06D}&step=1
 
Please ask your sister to reconsider and discuss her situation with a Catholic Services or Right to Life center. There are so many people who would love to have your sister’s baby and she would not have to live with the consequences of an abortion, she needs another pint of view, help her get it.
 
Time has passed and I assume she has had an abortion. Which would be a pity because if she did she needs prayer and reconciliation with God. Unfortunately Shakespeare was right: “The evil that man does lives after them.” Prayer is now a must.
 
As cruel as it may sound, if I were in your situation, I would threaten to cut off my support/relationship with her if she goes along with the abortion. If my niece/nephew were to be taken away from me like that, my heart would not be able to maintain a relationship like that, and I would never support such a decision.

Have you talked with her about what happens suring an abortion? If she is a Catholic, does she know that it is among the worst of sins? If so, how can she possibly do this?
 
Convince her to place the baby for adoption, there are many couples who would love this baby. Other’s have provided some good sources of information. If she is embarrassed about her situation, help her understand that what seems overwhelming now will seem incredibly minor in time. I will pray for you both.
 
If it were my sister I’d be more direct and I’d be sharing a few more options. First, we’d be talking about living arrangements, and rules around that. Yes, I’d let her move in to help care for her baby. Or perhaps I’d be helping with childcare while my sister finished school, or worked.

OR… I’d agree to take her baby. I’m older, married, and have children. I’d happily have another. That would probably be difficult in the long run. There would be written agreements in line with legal adoption.

I would hate to have my niece or nephew out there with another family. But that would be another option I’d be bringing up with her.

It’s a lie that she’s told herself and that she’s chosen to believe…she can’t offer this child a good begininning. She can find a family who desperately wants children, but can’t on their own.

Will this be emotionally difficult? Yes, in realty she’s thinking of herself… Nine months of discomfort… Body changes she’s heard about. The pain of delivery. . It’s a trade off not to murder her child that she has already created.

Murder is way worse than anything else she can come up with. She can’t really say she’s ok with murder but not handing her child off. It’s time she think of the other human and not herself and her feelings. This is what a mother does.

And yes, I would be this blunt with my sister. I love her that much. She must know what she’s really doing. If she did it anyway? Of course, I would still love her. I would pray for her. I’d be terribly disappointed and I’m not so sure I could look her in the eye without giving away my sadness for her soul. She knows this is wrong. And I’d be there for the fallout and encouragement of asking for forgiveness when she truly realizes the gravity of her situation.

Does your sister know it’s murder? Or has she bought into the blob of cells theory. That for some random reason has a heart beat, and perhaps will turn into a puppy. Yeah, I’d probably be this sarcastic too. But I know my relationship with my sister.

Finally, after all was said and done, I’d be having some serious conversations with my sister about the guys she chooses to give her body to. Who clearly don’t love her enouth to put a ring on it.

I know your heart hurts for her… Keep praying that God shows her something that clicks her brain… Pray that he guides you to the right words to say to her. As my suggestions could just send YOUR sister off the deep end.

In the end, continue to love her. It’s never your place to judge. Just keep showing her the path to God through your actions and love and support.
 
Has the boyfriend left the relationship? Or does he just plan on leaving if there’s no abortion? Is she worried about losing him?
 
freiabereinsam said:
As cruel as it may sound, if I were in your situation, I would threaten to cut off my support/relationship with her if she goes along with the abortion. If my niece/nephew were to be taken away from me like that, my heart would not be able to maintain a relationship like that, and I would never support such a decision.

Have you talked with her about what happens suring an abortion? If she is a Catholic, does she know that it is among the worst of sins? If so, how can she possibly do this?
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Yes, that sounds very cruel. The young lady is going through a crisis in her life and searching for answers. One cannot fully understand the loneliness and hopelessness that one experiences unless you have gone through the trial.

I do not condone the abortion option. I would encourage the OP to try to convince his sister that she would be making a mistake with lifelong implications. But, to issue an ultimatum that threatens to withdraw his love and support is not the way to approach.

You talk about niece/nephew as though this is all about you…Well, its not. Maybe, God wants the OP to be the instrument of his mercy and love. To reach out to his sister, who is in great pain and help her to heal. Otherwise, she may never receive the graces that God has planned for her
 
RoseMary131 said:
May God bless you and your sister and her precious little child.

Please contact a local crisis pregnancy center to help you know how to help her.

Below are some links for Post Abortion. You may want to read these.

The links below will let you know how you sister may likely suffer from aborting the precious child in her womb.

Abortion is often a “quick” reaction to fear. When it settles in the mother’s heart how she has destroyed her own precious helpless child, she often suffers greatly.
Click to expand...
Are you a pro-life counsellor or similar? If not you should be. You always make such beautiful and comforting posts for pregnant women. I’m certain there’d be far fewer abortions if everyone could be as positive about pregnancy as you 🙂
 
Firstly, thank you all for giving some of the time out of your day to reply. I’m unsure what to do, so I value all of your replies.

I feel I have to give some more information, though I’m hesitant to - for the privacy of my sister. The boy whose the father doesn’t know anything about the pregnancy. But my sister assumes that he won’t want to have anything to do with the baby. I don’t know the boy, so I can’t honestly say whether that’s true or not.

As for myself, I’m only 19. I’m in no position to be able to look after a baby, though if my sister had a baby I’d do everything I could. And as selfish as this may sound, I don’t want to abandon my sister. She is my sister after all, and I love her.

Thanks for all the prayers. They are appreciated.
 
Hicup said:
Firstly, thank you all for giving some of the time out of your day to reply. I’m unsure what to do, so I value all of your replies.

I feel I have to give some more information, though I’m hesitant to - for the privacy of my sister. The boy whose the father doesn’t know anything about the pregnancy. But my sister assumes that he won’t want to have anything to do with the baby. I don’t know the boy, so I can’t honestly say whether that’s true or not.

As for myself, I’m only 19. I’m in no position to be able to look after a baby, though if my sister had a baby I’d do everything I could. And as selfish as this may sound, I don’t want to abandon my sister. She is my sister after all, and I love her.

Thanks for all the prayers. They are appreciated.
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Do your parents know about the situation, they might be more helpful than either of you think. If there are no parents, what about older relatives? 19 is very young to deal with your sister’s fears and worries. I will pray for both of you.
 
Holy Mother, please intercede for us.
Hold the sorrowful, strengthen the fearful,
give aid to all needing help or healing,
assist those who are sick, in pain or suffering,
be with those needing peace, console the lonely,
comfort the lost or hopeless, guard the unborn,
pray for those who are dying or who have died,
soften those with hardened hearts,
enlighten those who do not yet see truth,
help us be brave enough to let our hurt and anger go,
show us the way to do the right thing,
protect those who are in danger,
and guide us from every evil.
May all who keep your sacred commemoration
experience the might of your assistance.
Amen
 
cargau said:
Yes, that sounds very cruel. The young lady is going through a crisis in her life and searching for answers. One cannot fully understand the loneliness and hopelessness that one experiences unless you have gone through the trial.

I do not condone the abortion option. I would encourage the OP to try to convince his sister that she would be making a mistake with lifelong implications. But, to issue an ultimatum that threatens to withdraw his love and support is not the way to approach.

You talk about niece/nephew as though this is all about you…Well, its not. Maybe, God wants the OP to be the instrument of his mercy and love. To reach out to his sister, who is in great pain and help her to heal. Otherwise, she may never receive the graces that God has planned for her
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So far, all of the love, support, etc. that the OP is providing isn’t working. And if the carrot isn’t working, the OP has an obligation to his niece/nephew to try the stick–an obligation that trumps any talk of “support” (although I think that some strictness is more loving than “supporting” someone in sin). The danger here is not only against the infant, but the OP’s sister’s soul. And if the present developments continue, the sister is going to commit a mortal sin.

Also, if I were in that situation, and despite all that support, she still goes along with an abortion, I’d be very upset and even angry. I wouldn’t be able to just say “it’s a big mistake but I support you whatever you do.” And really, disowning a sibling is very little compared to ending the life of one’s child–or even standing by while someone else does the same.

Also, I agree with the prior answerers who suggested informing the parents.
 
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