I
ITRUSTGOD
Guest
Hello,I’m new to this site and I’m not a big computer user but I need some advice and some prayers too.This is a long story.Three weeks ago my wife of 17 years moved out of our home and moved into an apartment.She told me she was tired of being treated like a slave.She said I just wanted to take everything away from her and have total control over her. I never treated my wife like a slave.All I asked from her was the same thing that every other wife and mother does.Do the dishes,dust,keep the house reasonably clean,cook,foodshop.Sometimes I’d ask her to do a small chore like go to the post office to mail a package or make an important phone call.I work odd hours and long hours so my time is very limited.She told me I wasn’t doing my share of the work.I have spent the last 18 years of my life working all kinds of odd hours…second shift,third shift and God only knows how many thousands of hours of overtime I worked,not to mention traveling 40 miles there and 40 miles back home every day.All to provide a better standard of living for my wife and our son.I also did more than my share of the work at home.I fix things around the house,I get the repairs done on the cars,I cut the grass(no easy task, we have alot of property) We also have alot of trees so you can imagine how many leaves I rake in the fall.It takes the whole week!. I shovel the snow in the winter. I take care of our swimming pool,I do almost all the yard work myself.I go up on the ladder to clean out the gutters,I do my own laundry,I do my sons laundry.I clean out the garage every spring.I decorate the house for Christmas(inside and outside) I put water sealer on the deck,clean the bird cage,take the air conditioners in and out of the windows,trim the hedges,trim the trees,cook food on the grill.I ask you,does this sound like someone who’s not doing thier share of the work? In the 17plus years we’ve been married,I never once asked her to get a full time job.Most of those 17 years she worked part time.Sometimes she didn’t work at all which I didn’t mind as long as she took care of our son and kept up with the house work.In the last 3 months she started working full-time(by her own choice) Now she wants to use this as her excuse for not doing the house work.I told her that just because you work full time dosen’t mean you can neglect your other responsibilities.Even before she started working full-time she wasn’t keeping the house clean and the reason for that is because she has an addiction to the computer.She gets on the computer around 10 pm and dosen’t get off sometimes until 5 or 6 in the morning.I’d come home from work at 1 or 2 sometimes 3 in the morning completely exhausted and find dishes piled up in the sink and find her on the computer.The house would always smell because there were always dirty dishes in the sink.Naturally I would get angry and we would start arguing.I would complain that she needed to spend less time on the computer and more time being a responsible wife and mother.She also got us into some serious financial trouble with various computer scams.I kill myself working overtime and she throws away our money on scans.I had to take her credit cards away because I was scared to death we would lose our house.If something went wrong with the computer,she would go and buy another one before we even got the broken one checked to see if it was only someting minor.She was also meeting with people who she got to be friendly with on the internet.I was very angry at this because you hear about internet predartors all the time. Another thing is that in all the years we’ve been married,we never kept our money or cars seperate.It was always our money and our cars.As soon as she got this full time job that was the end of the word our.All of a sudden it was her money and her car.I asked her to help me pay the bills so we could get some home improvements done but all she cared about was buying another computer.Maybe it’s just me but does she sound just a little selfish? Why get married in the first place? I’m sorry for ranting like this but I guess I needed to get it off ny chest. I know I need to speak to a priest and I will. Do you think I have just cause to ask for a divorce or seperation? I’m trying to be a devout Catholic and I know what the bible and the catechism of the catholic church say about divorce but she left me.I didn’t ask her to leave although I shold have because she almost gave ne a nervous breakdown.Even if she came back I don’t think I could take her back because she will not change.She will not admit she has an addiction to the computer.I feel my health and well being would be at risk.She is completely irresponsible at this point.She not only abondoned me but also our 14 year old son.Please pray for me,my wife and ny son.Thank you and God bless!
