My Wife has left me after 17 years

[ITRUSTGOD]

The magaizing Faith and Family had an article about computer addiction recently. They also reccommened Retrouvaille for the couple along with counselling for the person with the addiction. I am glad to hear that you will be meeting with your priest. I will be praying for you.

Thank you for your prayers! I spoke with a priest today and he told me I had just cause for a divorce on the grounds of abondonment of myself and our child and also for neglecting her duties as a wife and mother.

 

[ITRUSTGOD]

My prayers and heart are with you sincerely for I too am seperated fom my husband he has left over 10 weeks ago and we have 2 small children. I am not sure of any answers. I have sought counseling for myself and this has helped. Maybe talking to your wife about counseling for you together so you can become a better couple would be the answer, trying not to place blame on each other. Trying to understand her frustrations and lonliness that she felt she must leave. Trying to rekindle the love that is within you both to heal your marriage. I have heard wonderful things on Retrouville maybe a counselor. Maybe a letter to your wife with some of her favorite flowers. A peace offering. I have no idea what to tell you, the pain and rejection you are experieincing is so fresh in my heart that I ache along with you. God now is with you more than ever. I pray for you, your wife and son that the Holy Spirit guide you back together. May God bless and watch over you in this difficult time.
Kristen

Kristen,I feel for you and your children.I will pray for you! Me and my wifes problem is alot more than placing blame on each other.She has a very serious addiction problem and now I know what she’s been doing on the computer all night long.

 

[ITRUSTGOD]

Thank you for your prayers! I spoke with a priest today and he told me I had just cause for a divorce on the grounds of abondonment of myself and our child and also for neglecting her duties as a wife and mother.

I forgot he also said on grounds of her having a serious addiction that she will not face up to.

 

[ITRUSTGOD]

I mean, one hates to think about such things about his/her spouse, but…if we avoid the possibility of it, then we can never find out what is really at the core of the problem. I am sorry you are dealing with this–you are in my prayers.

Whatevergirl,looks like you had it figured out correctly.Back in March,I found out she went to visit two people she got to know on some web site.A man and his female cousin.I asked her point blank if she was having an affair and she told me no,we’re friends and that’s all.I told her it still wasn’t appropriate for her to meet with some guy that I don’t know.So she said she wouldn’t see him or talk to him again.I have been suspicious ever since but could never find any proof that she was seeing anyone else.This past saturday while cleaning the bathroom,I found some photos she had hidden in there.Two of them were nudes! I became very worried but I kept thinking there must be a logical reason.She has been on a weight loss diet so I thought maybe she’s doing a before and after thing.Then I thought maybe she was going to give then to me(although we had never exchanged nude photos of each other before before) I couldn’t take the suspence anymore and I wasn’t going to ask her because I knew she wouldn’t be truthful. I managed to get into her e-mail without her knowledge and my worst fears were realized.She was sending out nude photos of herself to some guy.We don’t need counseling.She needs psycological help and I need a divorce attorney before I have a nervous breakdown.Thank you whatevergirl.If not for you alerting me to this,I might have never found out.Please continue to pray for me and my son.

 

[whatevergirl]

Whatevergirl,looks like you had it figured out correctly.Back in March,I found out she went to visit two people she got to know on some web site.A man and his female cousin.I asked her point blank if she was having an affair and she told me no,we’re friends and that’s all.I told her it still wasn’t appropriate for her to meet with some guy that I don’t know.So she said she wouldn’t see him or talk to him again.I have been suspicious ever since but could never find any proof that she was seeing anyone else.This past saturday while cleaning the bathroom,I found some photos she had hidden in there.Two of them were nudes! I became very worried but I kept thinking there must be a logical reason.She has been on a weight loss diet so I thought maybe she’s doing a before and after thing.Then I thought maybe she was going to give then to me(although we had never exchanged nude photos of each other before before) I couldn’t take the suspence anymore and I wasn’t going to ask her because I knew she wouldn’t be truthful. I managed to get into her e-mail without her knowledge and my worst fears were realized.She was sending out nude photos of herself to some guy.We don’t need counseling.She needs psycological help and I need a divorce attorney before I have a nervous breakdown.Thank you whatevergirl.If not for you alerting me to this,I might have never found out.Please continue to pray for me and my son.

Oh my, I’m so sorry! I don’t like being ‘right’ about things like this, but I just know that people don’t leave marriages, (unless there is infidelity, abuse, drugs, etc) without another person somehow being in the picture. I mean, I can’t say never, but typically…9 times out of 10–when someone is making drastic appearance changes, but they show you no attention…good possibility that there is another person in the scene. Ugh. My stomach aches for you–just felt my heart and stomach sink reading this. You know, I have known many friends, and family members who bury their heads…don’t want to know…whatever. I say, why not know the truth about who you are married to? Even if it is heartbreaking…indecision is worse than knowing the truth.

That being said…I will pray for you and your son. I would recommend confronting her first…unless you have done so already. I am not sure what advice to give from this point, other than seeking out legal representation, even just for advice, is not a bad idea at this stage. I would confront her with this knowledge for sure, though. I would, as calmly as you can, see where the conversation leads…If I were you, perhaps I would seek a separation to clear my head first. Divorce is final…and you never know…she may be having an emotional affair (nothing further) via the internet…it’s very common these days, and very heart wrenching, just like a physical affair. Either way-it stinks.

I feel very sad for you right now…I’m so very sorry.

 

[VictoriaR29]

I am very sorry to hear about your sad, sad problem. It struck a deep chord in me: the same thing happened to me eleven years ago: my husband of 23 years left me for a woman he met on the internet whom he knew for less than six months. For the entire length of our marriage I worked hard and was happy and proud to be his wife. I come from a very traditonal background, and any kind of cheating, etc, was completely unthinkable, my parents were married almost 50 years, and totally in love with one another to the days they died. Despite all my pleadings, begging him to seek counselling, etc, he never returned. However, it was the best thing that ever happened to me spiritually, I am so close to God and Our Lady now. I have come to understand that God sends these trials into our lives to draw us into his suffering and redemptive work. Please seek out every avenue to save your marriage! But, if God has other plans, please be open to them. I will pray for you, and I am sure many, many here will be on their knees as well.

 

[ITRUSTGOD]

I am very sorry to hear about your sad, sad problem. It struck a deep chord in me: the same thing happened to me eleven years ago: my husband of 23 years left me for a woman he met on the internet whom he knew for less than six months. For the entire length of our marriage I worked hard and was happy and proud to be his wife. I come from a very traditonal background, and any kind of cheating, etc, was completely unthinkable, my parents were married almost 50 years, and totally in love with one another to the days they died. Despite all my pleadings, begging him to seek counselling, etc, he never returned. However, it was the best thing that ever happened to me spiritually, I am so close to God and Our Lady now. I have come to understand that God sends these trials into our lives to draw us into his suffering and redemptive work. Please seek out every avenue to save your marriage! But, if God has other plans, please be open to them. I will pray for you, and I am sure many, many here will be on their knees as well.

Thank you for your prayers! Sorry to hear the same thing happened to you but if it brought you closer to our Lord and our lady,maybe it was meant to be.My marriage can not be saved because the bond of trust has been broken.I put up with alot of irresponsible behavior from my wife over the years but this is the straw that breaks the camels back.I do not hate her though.I pray that she will seek the spiritual and emotional help she needs.I need to move on to the next chapter of my life and make sure I do what is best for my child.Thanks for caring!

 

[iamrefreshed]

I understand how you feel. I’m very sorry you have to bear this cross. I bear a similar burden. Feel free to PM me if I can help in any way.