My Wife is VIRULENTLY Anti-Catholic

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Our child has attended a Catholic school since the Christian school he formerly attended closed. My wife was a teacher at that school for 14 years so the closure was painful for her on both a personal and professional level. As a board member at the former school, I’ve felt that the Lord has been calling me to service at the Catholic school and so I’ve been honored to use whatever talents He has blessed me with there for the last three years.

I was raised in a Southern Baptist church and she was raised in an Assembly of God church. We attend a Pentecostal church now. She has never been comfortable with the Catholic faith but over a year ago she was given some anti-Catholic materials and has since found a treasure trove of like-minded websites. She is a good person and the love of my life but she is terribly misinformed. She also has a support network of friends and family who cannot understand what is “wrong” with me. This has placed a strain on our marriage.

I did enough research of my own to be convinced that Catholics were sufficiently Christian before we enrolled our child at the Catholic school. We agree on so much more foundational doctrine than we don’t! Although I expected to have to explain to our child why there would be differences between his religion classes at school and Sunday school at our church, I never expected to have to become a Catholic apologist! However, I’ve prayed continually for the last four years, and I am unable to shake the call to serve at this school. I’ve told my wife that I cannot ignore the call of our Lord. Am I alone in this kind of situation? Beyond daily prayer, what advice can you give me?
 
Thank you. I actually read Rome Sweet Home early on as well as No Price Too High by Alex Jones so they are in our shared iBooks library. I recently got a copy of the catechism and plan to study it so that I can better separate fact from fiction regarding the Catholic faith.

I also purchased a Catholic bible on the iBook Store and keep it on my phone and iPad. I’ve found over the last year that it is just as similar to the KJV as, say, the NIV but I’ve been unable to convince her of that. It’s just been so very difficult. We’ve reached a more peaceful detente of late- and I believe it is a gift from God as a result of daily prayer for the situation. However, her concerns bubble from beneath the surface from time to time as the evil one uses this as a wedge.
 
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Do you think she would remain anti-Catholic if you started working there? Maybe you can watch the Catholicism series together. It was easy for me to identify anti-Catholic lies when I started reading the articles on this website (and Catechism, etc.)
 
She’d love to home school but her degree was elementary ed. He’s in middle school now so we’d be looking at using DVD’s and the like. Nothing wrong homeschooling but he needs socialization with kids his age. The old school was so small and there were so few kids his age that we are still dealing with his limited ability to cope with kids when they don’t always play nice, etc. It’s a tough adult world out here and he’s got to learn the skills to navigate around people who aren’t always nice. I’m sorry for the meandering answer to a short question.
 
It’s been said many times-- most people who “hate” the Catholic Church hate what they think it is, not what it really is. If God is calling you to serve at that school, I pray you honor that call. The rest will sort itself out.
I LOVE teaching in Catholic school.
 
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I serve on the advisory council but that hasn’t moved the needle for her much.
 
My experience is not exactly the same as yours, but we both have the same underlying issues. I’d advise to ease her in. My girlfriend has suddenly been saying “I follow God, not religion.” She is a non-denominational Christian now. It’s pretty tough. I never thought I would be in this situation. She has found an echo-chamber of like-minded individuals, and the non-Catholic adults in her life only affirm her choices. I’m just grateful she believes in God. I am 18, she is barely about to be 17. We’re young. Maybe things will change. For you though, I’d approach this sensitively. Be glad she’s still a Christian. Value her as your wife. Love her. Do not let her feel that you are angry and/or troubled even if you do feel such emotions.
 
YES! I could not agree more. There are a lot of people believing false information about the Church.
 
Try this…call Relevant Radio during Patrick Madrid’s program. And ask about homeschooling. They can/will help with getting your resources. Worth a try. Just lookup the showtimes. And try calling Relevant Radio and see what results.
 
I’m a little concerned that you are becoming Catholic because of your job. But I’m hoping that’s not the reason. None of us here can answer any of your wife’s questions because we don’t know them yet. Maybe it’s the typical we pray to statues and we can’t call people “father” routine. Here are some suggestions.
  1. Print this article for her so she isn’t as misinformed. (I highly recommend because it will
    answer most of her concerns)
    Any Friend of God is a Friend of Mine | Catholic Answers
  2. The phone app Fulton Sheen, there is a good audio section called The Sheen Catechism.
  3. The phone app Relevant Radio, especially Patrick Madrid in the morning.
  4. The phone app Catholic Answers.
  5. As mentioned earlier have her read Rome Sweet Home.
 
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Thanks. We are in our late 40’s and early 50’s so we may each be a bit more stubborn than we were when we married in our 20’s. 🙂 However I’ve had to reassure her that I love her more than ever before and that this about a calling from God. I pray for her (and me) daily that her heart and her mind will be changed. It would be so easy to to just give up but God places such a burden on my heart every time I entertain that thought.
 
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FrancisPio, I can assure you that this whole thing is the most unplanned, unexpected thing I could have ever imagined. 🙂 Where religion is concerned, I’ve never been one to ride the emotional rollercoaster so many people- well at least in my Protestant experience- do. Perhaps that’s a spiritual failing but matters of faith have always been just that for me. My day job is in the sciences so, as a matter of my training, faith cannot be a function of my moods each morning. I digress. Thanks much for the reference links as these will be very helpful!
 
Sir, I can’t pick up on whether you are a Catholic at this time. Non-Catholic children can attend a Catholic school. There was a Hindu boy in my grand nephew’s class for a while. His family chose the Catholic school over the public school in that city.

It seems to me, from watching EWTN’s Journey Home program, that even people who are virulently anti-Catholic can be converted, but are converted only slowly, perhaps by considering one issue at a time.

The delicate issue you have to deal with is encouraging your wife to look at both sides of an issue, not just one. And it may take time for her to soften up on even one issue.

It is a genuine issue in the Catholic church, I think, to expect anybody to embrace Catholic spirituality all in one moment of conversion. We are not obligated to accept all the Marian apparitions which are all private revelations or any other private revelations, for example. The Western rite of the Church encourages the devotion of the rosary, but the Eastern rites have only very recently opened up to that devotion.

Converts are commonly “made” one at a time.
 
One might best describe me as a spiritual Heinz. I was raised a Southern Baptist, married a Pentecostal, served at a Methodist school and now a Catholic school. Although I attend a Pentecostal church with my wife, I still identify as a Baptist.

If not for my child’s old school closing, I would not have given the Catholic a school a second thought, really. There was no need until then. That led me to research Catholic doctrine prior to enrolling my child. I’m no expert and have much, much more to learn. From a 10,000 foot view, I just see so much on which to agree that I don’t even understand what the “protest” is about (not that I ever had much reason to give it much thought). The more my wife has challenged me on the old cliches (crucifixes, Mary and the Saints, confession, call no man father), the more I’ve been forced to search and found that I can’t disagree with most Catholic doctrine. Nor do I find it to be terribly incompatible with many (maybe its correct too say most) of the faith traditions of my 53 year journey on this planet. As I said in an earlier post, this whole thing couldn’t have been more unexpected a few years back.
 
Have you begun the RCIA program yet ? Becoming a Catholic is not a fast process, but there is joy and discovery in the journey. It might be that as your wife sees your interesting path, and your joy in following it, she will be drawn to join you. God is One who will pull her towards becoming a Catholic, if He wants 🙂
This is a matter that won’t be helped by debating her, in my experience. But it’s very wise to equip yourself to answer all of her questions ( which she may call ‘issues’ ) The main selling point for the Non Catholic parents who choose a Catholic School for their child is the high quality education which is superior to public schools. Maybe you can emphasize that. Focus on what you can agree on.
 
I’ve considered RCIA as it would be better than the scattershot self-guide approach I’ve been following. At this time anyway, I fear that it might send her off the edge if I enrolled.

I think my child is getting a good education and I like the Catholic social teaching aspect as well. We live in a time in which young people have such an expectation of instant gratification and greed. I want him to understand the dignity of life and a call to service toward the less fortunate. It’s an alien concept for so many young adults now. 😦
 
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The only option for you is to follow God’s will where he leads you. Your case is not at all uncommon.If God is leading you to the Catholic Church–sure sounds like He is–and if you faithfully respond to His promptings, He will take care of the situation with your wife in due time. Catholics sometimes forget that our first duty is to sanctify ourselves; that’s the only way to help sanctify others and participate in the redemption of the world. Our natural temptation, however, is to want to “fix” others first.
 
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