My Wife is VIRULENTLY Anti-Catholic

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mwcampbell said:
I never expected to have to become a Catholic apologist! However, I’ve prayed continually for the last four years, and I am unable to shake the call to serve at this school. I’ve told my wife that I cannot ignore the call of our Lord. Am I alone in this kind of situation? Beyond daily prayer, what advice can you give me?
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I am reminded of my own experience and what Chesterton wrote:
It is impossible to be just to the Catholic Church. The moment a man ceases to pull against it he feels a tug towards it. The moment he ceases to shout it down he begins to listen to it with pleasure. The moment he tries to be fair to it he begins to be fond of it
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I am a convert and started out simply wanting to learn more about the Church. I wanted to learn what she actually taught. As I did I found out that she was unfairly characterized. I also found out Catholic doctrine made good sense. It had a logical consistency. In fact it made more sense than any Protestant theology. It explained more of the Bible and had less difficult passages. But I also didn’t want to really be a Catholic. It took a few years for that to happen.

My wife had zero interest in converting. She wasn’t really anti-Catholic. She just didn’t see any need to convert. She was happy in our Protestant church. I used the Socratic approach. I asked questions, raised problems with Protestant theology, and subtly presented the Catholic view. I didn’t push the issue at all. I wouldn’t harp on any point. I would mention something briefly and then move on to another non religious subject.

My wife, as I said, wasn’t Catholic. But the idea of converting did make her wonder what was wrong with me. She did get mad a few times at the idea. I simply had to live with that for a while. It wasn’t what I wanted but I do think, by God’s grace, I was able to handle that well and in so doing make Catholicism more attractive to her.
 
I know your pain! I am a convert to the Catholic Faith. Not because I chose, but because it is where God sent me when I prayed for Truth. My husband is still protestant with no intentions of converting. Talking about it only leads to arguments.
My advice is, for now at least, just LIVE your Faith. BE an example of it. Let your spouse SEE the changes, the GOOD changes and how dedicated you are. Always think about being the best example of Christ you can be to your spouse. I was given this advice and I believe it is starting to work. Take the criticism, let them persecute you, but LIVE THE FAITH! no matter what. Hang in there! pray! we will be praying with you!
 
TheLittleLady said:
I’d suggest Mike Cumbie’s video talks.

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Thanks for posting! I have never heard of Mike Cumbie before. I have a friend who is Independent Baptist. I wish I could get her and her husband to watch his videos.
 
My advice is to stop trying to convert your wife to your beliefs. It is disrespectful, given that she has her own set of strongly held beliefs. Embrace your diversity and celebrate your similarities as well as your differences. You will be setting an excellent example for your son.
 
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I am familiar with this speaker. I have always wondered why when he is speaking about what Protestants believe that he uses an exaggerated Southern accent along with poor grammar. He makes it seem like that when he converted from Protestant to Catholic he was suddenly able to communicate properly.
 
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I’d still look at Homeschooling resources, many can be found online. Probably subscription based. And can get books. I don’t believe your wife has to be qualified to teach Secondary education. If she has a high school Diploma, then she can teach general ed. Which is all you have to have to get either an HS Diploma or a GED.

In fact, maybe when she homeschools your child, she could go to school for her credentials to teach Secondary Ed if she so desires. so. You sound like a good Christian guy. And love your wife dearly Your patience with her will prove like gold tested through fire how much you really love her. I have no doubt. For God will work with your love for her. He will be able to show her the gift of Salvation in the Church. You are basically an Ambassador of Christ’s mercy and love for her in holy matrimonial communion.

Just like many people who are virulently anti-Cahtolic, have their reasons. And even if they are not sound. It nevertheless doesn’t neglect they have their mind and intelligence in searching for the truth. And whatever their differences are, God can break through. Jesus’s mercy will break through with Love.

Just showing you love and care for her. Just by being there, a Disciple of Jesus. You win her heart to Christ, through the Church, where He loves her. But, that will take discipline on your part to warmly and affectionately love her as Christ (per Saint Paul’s attention to spouses giving one to the other as Christ to the Church.) And she will know Jesus by your love for her. You can always take your Cross to Holy Communion, an hour of Adoration or which time you can afford/spare, going to Confession, and attending Mass where God will open your heart to your wife’s needs. He will do it. Let Him take the steering wheel. He will guide you

God Bless
 
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I highly recommend the book Rediscovering Catholicism by Matthew Kelly. Upon this Rock by Steve Ray I heard is also great, though I haven’t read it myself.

Keep researching, reading up on the saints and Church history. This website is great help as far as an unbiased source for early church writings. Early Christian Writings: New Testament, Apocrypha, Gnostics, Church Fathers

Prayer is also important! Ask God to show you the Truth. Perhaps a good way to influence your wife is to not seem as though your preaching to her, or selling her things. Be an example, work to be slow to anger, patient, charitable, etc. If an opportunity arises where you can discuss such things, then discuss it lightheartedly and with interest. As St. Bernadette says, “My job is to inform, not to convince.” Leave the convincing up to God.
 
It is somewhat of a truism that the real evil is indifference, not anger/passion, toward something. Think of St. Paul and his conversion. God can “redirect” your wife virulency when he is ready.
 
k.vasquez222 said:
“I follow God, not religion.”
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That’s code for “I make the rules as I go and I decide what is sinful or not. I am my own final arbiter of truth with regard to faith and morals.” It’s an attitude caused by both pride, and lack of wisdom.

I remember I used to say that too… As I was smoking weed while reading the Bible and people would ask me and I would say “oh man God don’t care I follow him not religion puff,” I was a real ignoramus.
 
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QwertyGirl said:
My advice is to stop trying to convert your wife to your beliefs. It is disrespectful, given that she has her own set of strongly held beliefs. Embrace your diversity and celebrate your similarities as well as your differences. You will be setting an excellent example for your son.
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The irony is you are here trying to convert someone to your belief! You just sawed off the branch you were sitting on.
 
After Baptist, he was in the Charismatic Anglican organization. His talk “How Then Shall We Worship” is great.
 
Because a bit of humour keeps people engaged in listening.
 
What’s recommended by Scott Hahn, who is a former Protestant theologian/Scripture scholar…and whose wife is also (now) a former Protestant theologian/Scripture scholar is this: More romance. More small hidden acts of charity. No theological/church arguments/discussions.

Let the charity you receive from God in the Sacraments - your direct partaking in the divine life of the Trinity through the Sacraments - spill out into your marriage and home and neighborhood, creating a warmth and sincere cheerfulness into your and her world. Very natural. No intention at manipulation.

All you’re doing is loving your wife with the love of Jesus Christ, because it’s spilling out of you because of your prayer life, your interior struggle to become a canonizable saint, your closeness to the Sacraments.

And after that “it’s the Holy Spirit’s job”, not yours. You do your part (charity, cheerful duties around the home, prayer, living the happy Cross of marital life) and - at God’s pace - the Holy Spirit will do His part.
 
TheLittleLady said:
After Baptist, he was in the Charismatic Anglican organization. His talk “How Then Shall We Worship” is great.
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@TheLittleLady - I thought I heard him say Anglican or Episcopalian and then he later converted to Catholicism correct?
 
Yep, he went from Evangelical to Charismatic Episcopal/Anglican and then Catholic.
 
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