My wife

[TOP]

Well today I asked my wife again if she would see a counsoler, please somebody teach me to spell this, at first she said no, then she said we can’t afford it. I said, isn’t our marriage worth the money?, and she said, set it up. I don’t think she see’s me following it through, but I have emailed our priest for a refference in the area and I stressed they must be Catholic. Given the circumstances, this is beyond the secular. I would actually like my priest to be involved as well as he knows me in and out. Oh, to you posters who insiniate and bring your baggage to the thread, thanks for the benefit.

 

[whatevergirl]

Well today I asked my wife again if she would see a counsoler, please somebody teach me to spell this, at first she said no, then she said we can’t afford it. I said, isn’t our marriage worth the money?, and she said, set it up. I don’t think she see’s me following it through, but I have emailed our priest for a refference in the area and I stressed they must be Catholic. Given the circumstances, this is beyond the secular. I would actually like my priest to be involved as well as he knows me in and out. Oh, to you posters who insiniate and bring your baggage to the thread, thanks for the benefit.

*YAY TOP!!! :bounce: This is progress, and I’m hopeful for you both.

(Counselor…that’s the correct spelling by the way. )

 

[Brenda_V]

Well today I asked my wife again if she would see a counsoler, please somebody teach me to spell this, at first she said no, then she said we can’t afford it. I said, isn’t our marriage worth the money?, and she said, set it up. I don’t think she see’s me following it through, but I have emailed our priest for a refference in the area and I stressed they must be Catholic. Given the circumstances, this is beyond the secular. I would actually like my priest to be involved as well as he knows me in and out. Oh, to you posters who insiniate and bring your baggage to the thread, thanks for the benefit.

I will keep both of you in my prayers for this. Much has changed in your lives and from the since your cancer diagnosis until now.

Brenda V.

 

[Joseph_L_Varga]

What would happen now if she would decide to file for divorce? Would you loose the houses, the land, your whole inheritance? YOU NEED A LAWYER, NOW.

In my opinion, it doesn’t mean much that your wife finally allowed you to set up that appointment. In my book, this is not how real commitment to a spouse looks like. After you signed away everything, and were banished to the couch in what used to be your house, your wife tells you that you are going to take this marriage day-by-day, and that you can’t afford a marriage counselor? Didn’t you just say that she has a well-paying job now? What the heck?

Get the lawyer and protect yourself, now.

 

[TOP]

“Get a lawyer, hire a PI”…I mean, so what. If she leaves, she leaves, if she’s messing around, oh well. You all have no clue the challenges I have been through. I am not a quiter and I made vow, even if it cost me everything. I once laid in a hospital bed convulsing everytime I would drift away. I have fought death, seen the abyss. I am a fighter, always have been. One thing the Lord told me is that you are to give it everything you got. I would like to add, I was sleeping on the couch and she came out at 3 am and said, “are you coming to bed?”. We made love like it was the first time. If everything goes to hell, I know that I have felt love. Some never experience that. Thanks for prayers, they are helping.

 

[Seatuck]

I your wife is willing to work on the marriage you should consider a Retrouvaille Weekend as well as the counseling.

www.retrouvaille.org

 

[Joseph_L_Varga]

Jesus said, if they slap you in the face, turn the other cheek; if they sue you for your shirt, give them your coat also. Still, it seems to me that the Catholic Church does not use these words to justify abuse, does not instruct abused spouses to stop defending themselves from being verbally/physically abused and/or materially ripped off. I wonder, what did your parish priest tell you, should you just throw up your hands and let your wife do as she wishes?

Getting legal advice can go parallel to working on your marriage. Set up the appointment with the marriage counselor, but also talk to a lawyer and ask him: what can you do to defend yourself from loosing everything, should your wife choose to leave you. Somebody please correct me if I’m wrong, but it is my understanding that we as Catholics can and perhaps even SHOULD defend ourselves in such situations. Should your wife choose to leave you - in view of her telling that “it’s too late” and “you will take this marriage day by day” - why would you let her take your whole inheritance?

Recently I’ve seen a nightmarish situation unfold before my eyes. I have a friend whose wife changed her behavior. She was working on her master’s degree, while my friend took the brunt of caring for the kids. She also loved shopping; my friend took a second job to pay down the credit cards. She also stopped marital intimacy with her husband. There were rumors of her going on lunches and being seen frequently with a male co-worker. Sometime later, she filed for divorce. She played hardball and wanted to take everything, house, retirement money. Parallel to this, her co-worker also left his wife and kids, and filed for divorce. So, I started to wonder: after my friend’s wife kicked him out and divorced him, will she also rip him off financially and bring the other guy as a new “daddy” into the house that was paid off mostly by the work and sweat of my friend? I mean, does the Catholic Church teach that we as Catholics should put up with this and do nothing to defend ourselves? I don’t think so.

 

[Serap]

Jesus said, if they slap you in the face, turn the other cheek; if they sue you for your shirt, give them your coat also. Still, it seems to me that the Catholic Church does not use these words to justify abuse, does not instruct abused spouses to stop defending themselves from being verbally/physically abused and/or materially ripped off. I wonder, what did your parish priest tell you, should you just throw up your hands and let your wife do as she wishes?

Getting legal advice can go parallel to working on your marriage. Set up the appointment with the marriage counselor, but also talk to a lawyer and ask him: what can you do to defend yourself from loosing everything, should your wife choose to leave you. Somebody please correct me if I’m wrong, but it is my understanding that we as Catholics can and perhaps even SHOULD defend ourselves in such situations. Should your wife choose to leave you - in view of her telling that “it’s too late” and “you will take this marriage day by day” - why would you let her take your whole inheritance?

Recently I’ve seen a nightmarish situation unfold before my eyes. I have a friend whose wife changed her behavior. She was working on her master’s degree, while my friend took the brunt of caring for the kids. She also loved shopping; my friend took a second job to pay down the credit cards. She also stopped marital intimacy with her husband. There were rumors of her going on lunches and being seen frequently with a male co-worker. Sometime later, she filed for divorce. She played hardball and wanted to take everything, house, retirement money. Parallel to this, her co-worker also left his wife and kids, and filed for divorce. So, I started to wonder: after my friend’s wife kicked him out and divorced him, will she also rip him off financially and bring the other guy as a new “daddy” into the house that was paid off mostly by the work and sweat of my friend? I mean, does the Catholic Church teach that we as Catholics should put up with this and do nothing to defend ourselves? I don’t think so.

I 100% agree with you. There’s nothing wrong with protecting yourself, just in case.

I agree that he work on his marriage if possible (takes 2 to tango), but at the same time, he should protect himself and not leave himself wide open to be tricked and taken for a fool.