My work colleague just had a violent mental breakdown - how do I help?

[thewanderer]

Yes, I did read all the posts. If you think somehow anything I wrote is undercut by the fact that Mr. X. did not in fact actually assault Ms. Y…please explain why. Do you think what Mr. X did is not a fireable offense?

He had a mental health breakdown. Things get complicated in such situations. I don’t think any of us here are qualified to determine that he deserves to be fired for what happened.

(For the record, I hear people swear at my work fairly frequently, swearing is not always considered a fireable offense, even when everyone involved is in a perfect state of mental health.)

 

[thewanderer]

I think it’s best to leave something like this to either:

• A.) Court of law
• B.) Human Resources

Online boards and online strangers are neither.

OP, I will be sure to say a prayer for your friend and all involved. Mental health issues can be devastating. God bless.

 

[PolarGuy]

Yes, folks, life is complicated. Swearing under your breath is one thing. Telling a co-worker “F-Off!” to their face is quite another.

Defending that – particularly by a union – IMHO comes from some basic beliefs in the entitlement to a job, and the belief that there’s an excuse for everything.

And how quick some seem to forget that a man told a woman to “F-Off!” I think that’s significant too.

Interesting how Mr. X gets a pass, yet someone who comes to this board and defends something like, say, contraception use, gets called a mortal sinner; gets castigated; gets told their conscience is out of whack, etc.

Pot, meet kettle.

Bye. Gotta go to my job now – the one where if I tell a woman to “F-Off” I get fired.

 

[Serap]

Yes, folks, life is complicated. Swearing under your breath is one thing. Telling a co-worker “F-Off!” to their face is quite another.

Defending that – particularly by a union – IMHO comes from some basic beliefs in the entitlement to a job, and the belief that there’s an excuse for everything.

And how quick some seem to forget that a man told a woman to “F-Off!” I think that’s significant too.

Interesting how Mr. X gets a pass, yet someone who comes to this board and defends something like, say, contraception use, gets called a mortal sinner; gets castigated; gets told their conscience is out of whack, etc.

Pot, meet kettle.

Bye. Gotta go to my job now – the one where if I tell a woman to “F-Off” I get fired.

This man has been working with the organization for 10 years. He has performed his job in an excellent manner. He has received huge accolades for his last project that has just been wrapped up. He recently designed a state of the art computer system and provided excellent post implementation support. He has never been late, warned or has had any prior altercation. Yesterday was completely out of character for him.

This is why I am so concerned for my work colleague.

All of this will be taken into account when assessing what happened yesterday. Even a bank or a financial organization wouldn’t necessarily fire someone given the circumstances and mental health considerations. Stress leave would be given and counselling in most cases. Not necessarily job termination.

We are lucky to be part of a union, but we are also educated folks working in IT (information technology) making significant contributions to our government organization as IT Analysts.

Hate to use the term…but sometimes “stuff happens” and yes, this woman deserves a HUGE apology when (a big “when”) my colleague returns.

 

[Hobbes42]

I’d like to offer my usual alternative take on this.

Here’s the scenario: Mr. X (a man) shoves Ms. Y (a woman) and tells her to “F-Off.” He then collapses; hits his head; and breaks his finger. There are witnesses…

…and Mr. X, because he’s a union member, gets suspended with pay…

…and people post things to the effect of, “we’ve all been through stuff like this;” “we’ve all been there,” “he’s under a lot of stress.”

Cry me a river.

Uh, NO: Some of us on this post have NOT “been there.” I know many people in high-stress positions; positions with very difficult (even physically dangerous) working conditions; and everyone has stress. I put myself in some of those categories. Yet neither nor those I know, fitting this bill, have never shoved a co-worker; struck a woman; cursed out a female co-worker; nor anything like it, and if I did, I’d expect to be sued; and fired; and have that haunt me forever professionally.

And I might very well deserve each and every one of those things.

OK, I can understand that Mr. X is a friend of the poster and OP wants to help. But the stuff about “oh, we’ve all been there?” No, that minimizes Mr. X’s actions. considering all the posts on this entire board about “we all have free will,” “we’re all responsible for our actions,” “[given action] is a mortal sin and you need to get thee to a confessional,” etc., I find it problematic that really, really bad work actions, with witnesses, etc., get dismissed with “we’ve all been there!”

So, you’d use foul language at a male co-worker? Is this due to some assumption on your part that women are ‘weak’ and can’t handle it? Very chauvinistic I might say.