Naked pictures to spouse

[monicatholic]

i remember that thread about the DVD.

**1ke hit a hundred nails squarely. ** the awesome fantastic expression of marital intimacy is of inestimable value and goodness and awesomeness and joy. it’s degraded by mimicking garbage.

and if you hold your viewpoint ***incredulous certainty, ***why did you ask in the first place?

 

[Debora123]

The temptations are out there and compounded in military life, but it’s no different in civilian life when the spouse is away. Definitely stay involved with your church. Falling away was common, especially for single airmen when I was in. . Don’t let peer pressure influence you. But then again, you strike me as grounded person. ** And stubborn**

Oh you have no idea. Or perhaps you do…

 

[Debora123]

i remember that thread about the DVD.

**1ke hit a hundred nails squarely. ** the awesome fantastic expression of marital intimacy is of inestimable value and goodness and awesomeness and joy. it’s degraded by mimicking garbage.

Yeah, I’ll have to disagree with that completely lol. Neither do I agree that she had any authority to proclaim it as a sin in the Catholic Church.

As her personal opinion, that would have been OK. As Church teaching? No way.

…and if you hold your viewpoint ***incredulous certainty, ***why did you ask in the first place?

Well I did start the OP by saying “just curious…”

 

[sstrider]

Well, we live in a fallen world, we are all human, and while on this earth we will always be sinners. It is a part of life in this world that we will fail and hurt others and they in turn will fail and hurt us. That doesn’t mean that we are all terrible or that this life is not worth living, but it is just a recognition of the failings and hardships we will have to deal with here on earth.

Because of this, when we give oursselves completely to another while still in this world there is always a chance they will fail in some way that will hurt us and that we will hurt them. Please understand that that is not a reason to avoid deep and meaningful relationships here on earth, but rather if one is faced with great difficulties due to the failings of ones spouse one must then remember to turn to Christ on the cross for comfort and consolation, ask him to shoulder our burden for us, and rest assured that even with all the failings in this world, He loves us unfailingly, endlessly, perfectly, with the greatest love of all, the love that is God Himself.

So, no, the different persons of the trinity do not ever have to be afraid of something bad happening.

There are people here on earth who are certainly animated by this perfect divine love at least at times, but since they are still in this fallen world and state, they will still fall and sin, even the greatest saints recognized that they were still sinners.

I see.

 

[monicatholic]

The problem I see with this is that, yes, nude photos can be used in a bad way (pornography), but then again, so can sex itself (premarital relations/prostitution).

You can’t compare sending your spouse a nude photo of yourself to pornography, just as you can’t compare premarital sex or prostitution to the marital embrace.

For the record, I am a HUGE pornography hater myself. Huge. I think it should be illegal.

sending nude photos of oneself IS using sex in a wrong way.

i didnt compare it. i contrasted it. and i’ll do it again for further clarification:

the goodness and marvelousness of marital intimacy is hijacked by porn, prostitution and adultery.

why then, treat the marital embrace like porn, prostitution or adultery? along those lines, then it follows that it’s sometimes “fun” or “arousing” that your husband should ***pay ***you?

same story.

 

[johnnyjones]

And that goes back to what I said in an earlier post, no military couple fully knows or understands how they may change or what issues may present themselves as they endure long separations due to training exercises and deployments. Or even what can happen due to the every day wear and tear of military life. Its so easy to say that my husband would never do such and such, we have a strong marriage, this won’t be a problem…when you are just beginning your life as a military family.

I’ve witnessed military couples deal with alcoholism (either spouse), credit card debt, gambling problems, porn addictions, infidelity, etc, etc because they all thought they were immune to any of the problems that can occur due to being in the military. Its not wise to think it will NEVER happen to you. It is wise to be aware for the signs and if you ever have an inclination that you’re on a slippery slope, to get yourself to a place where you can work to fortify your marriage.

I have brought this matter to the attention of overly confident wives before, one in particular. Yes, trust and love should be cultivated, but putting an individual on too much of a pedestal is fool-hearty. Most women (and men) trust their spouses, and they rightly should. However, I know what goes on in the military. Long distances and stress can put a strain on marriages, not always in the beginning, but over very long periods, years even.

A better idea would be to send love letters with perfume on them. Raw sexuality is NOT what you want a man pondering on if your in love and he’s far away. Think romance, not sex. Gazing on the naked female form for a man in a cloistered position or with abundant female availability can tap into any mans base instinct.

I

 

[monicatholic]

Yeah, I’ll have to disagree with that completely lol.

lol? really?

i think perhaps your “just curious” would have been better stated “just curious to see how many people will agree with me.”

i don’t.

so without any curiosity whatsoever, i’ll exit this one.

 

[Debora123]

sending nude photos of oneself IS using sex in a wrong way.

Monica, that’s fine that you feel that way. Just know that it is your personal opinion, and not Church teaching. Sorry you’re so late to the thread, but we’ve all discussed it in depth quite a few times now.

i didnt compare it. i contrasted it. and i’ll do it again for further clarification:

the goodness and marvelousness of marital intimacy is hijacked by porn, prostitution and adultery.

why then, treat the marital embrace like porn, prostitution or adultery? along those lines, then it follows that it’s sometimes “fun” or “arousing” that your husband should ***pay ***you?

same story.

You totally lost me lol. I would respond but I’m not quite sure what you’re trying to say…

 

[Debora123]

lol? really?

i think perhaps your “just curious” would have been better stated “just curious to see how many people will agree with me.”

i don’t.

so without any curiosity whatsoever, i’ll exit this one.

Ok, have a good evening. Sorry you seem so bitter.

 

[atheistgirl]

I got through the first page. Wow. I’m glad I only got a couple responses like that. I disagree entirely.

Thanks for sharing.

You’ve gotten off lightly

I had my husband’s faithfulness and loyalty questioned, my self respect and dignity questioned, and told I was no better than a cow or a dog … all because I make video of me dancing for my husband, and like to surprise him now and again with something ‘special’ and remind him what he’s missing when he’s away on business

Go with your heart, in line with your faith, and have fun

I wish you and your husband well.

My husband goes away on business.

I can’t imagine how scared and worried I would be if he was away on military duties.

I admire him, and I admire you.

:hug1:

Sarah x

 

[CatholicFireman]

Oh you have no idea. Or perhaps you do…

 

[Debora123]

You’ve gotten off lightly

I had my husband’s faithfulness and loyalty questioned, my self respect and dignity questioned, and told I was no better than a cow or a dog … all because I make video of me dancing for my husband, and like to surprise him now and again with something ‘special’ and remind him what he’s missing when he’s away on business

Go with your heart, in line with your faith, and have fun

I wish you and your husband well.

My husband goes away on business.

I can’t imagine how scared and worried I would be if he was away on military duties.

I admire him, and I admire you.

:hug1:

Sarah x

Lol wow. Maybe they were so much harder on you because your name is “atheistgirl” so they assume the worst… even though a lot of your morals are actually very close in line with Christian thinking.

Thanks for the kind words!

 

[monicatholic]

Sorry you seem so bitter.

huh… where’s the lol?

atheist girl has the answer you want.

 

[28562]

Ok, have a good evening. Sorry you seem so bitter.

It’s not that she is bitter. It’s that you have been rude to a number of people on this thread.

It really ought to be locked at this point. You are clearly smarter than everyone else, yet not smart enough to consider that you could be wrong about some things.

lol

 

[Debora123]

huh… where’s the lol?

The lol is there, but then you followed with:
**
"*i think perhaps your “just curious” would have been better stated “just curious to see how many people will agree with me.”

i don’t.

so without any curiosity whatsoever, i’ll exit this one.*" **

So I thought you seemed mad. Sorry if I misunderstood.

atheist girl has the answer you want.

Well, I’m not sure why you think the only reason I started this thread was to only have people who agree with me come in here and agree with me. Obviously if we all agreed entirely, there wouldn’t be anything to discuss about. If I wanted to start a thread where everyone agreed with me, I would’ve started one called “Abortion.”

It’s been interesting reading about everyone’s different opinions, and I appreciate those who shared personal stories. Just because I don’t agree with your particular opinion (which was in the minority anyway) doesn’t mean I only wanted to see how many people would agree with me.

 

[Debora123]

It’s not that she is bitter. It’s that you have been rude to a number of people on this thread.

It really ought to be locked at this point. You are clearly smarter than everyone else, yet not smart enough to consider that you could be wrong about some things.

lol

Really? I don’t see where I’ve been rude at all, to monica or anyone else. If I was, it really didn’t mean to come off that way and I apologize. Just as I thought Monica was mad when she wasn’t, perhaps I’ve been misunderstood too?

Please point out where I’ve been rude, so I can be sure it doesn’t happen again.

 

[The_Bucket]

Disagreeing with someone is the new “rudeness.” It’s also the new bigotry when it comes to things like gay marriage.

None of us are speaking truly authoritatively on the matter; all I and many others were saying is that it’s not explicitly banned in the Catechism and thus up to our own individual judgments. Perhaps getting a priest to weigh in would help conclude the debate but I doubt it since the priest would likely leave it at “it’s potentially morally hazardous and could end up in the wrong hands” so as not to find himself in an awkward position of potentially speaking against the doctrine one way or another.

In summary, TL;DR, El oh el guyz, el oh el.

 

[28562]

I don’t think that “disagreeing is the new rudeness” anymore than not voting for Obama is racist.

Perhaps it is only me that interpreted it as rude, but every short little snippy response to someone that holds a view opposite of yours came across like “okay,uh huh, thanks a lot, shutup, bye bye now…” Like I said, maybe it was just me…

 

[Debora123]

I don’t think that “disagreeing is the new rudeness” anymore than not voting for Obama is racist.

Perhaps it is only me that interpreted it as rude, but every short little snippy response to someone that holds a view opposite of yours came across like “okay,uh huh, thanks a lot, shutup, bye bye now…” Like I said, maybe it was just me…

It’s definitely just you.

I never said “okay,uh huh, thanks a lot, shutup, bye bye now…” I did say things like “I appreciate your (name removed by moderator)ut” and “thanks for sharing” and “thank you for your thoughts” a number of times on this thread specifically because I was actually trying to be polite and show appreciation, even though I don’t entirely agree. Sounds like you took it as sarcasm, but it was 100% genuine.

 

[Debora123]

Disagreeing with someone is the new “rudeness.” It’s also the new bigotry when it comes to things like gay marriage.

I know, right?

Seems like a number of people on here now have gotten upset when I don’t agree with their particular opinion. Or even when I just agree partially!

There have been a lot of different opinions and diverse views on this thread, and naturally, some I agree with, and some I do not. I obviously can’t agree with all of them! Lol.