Naked pictures to spouse

[Debora123]

I imagine many women who have husbands secretly struggling with impurity feel the same way. I’m not saying impurity is the norm, nor that it’s likely that your husband is struggling this way, but I am saying that if he were, it’s naive to think he’d want to talk to you about it, no matter how open and honest your relationship is otherwise.

I’m sure you’ve seen the countless threads here about wives finding out about their husbands’ impurity struggles and being completely shocked. Why give your husband the potential seed for such a terrible problem?

Hello Cloud.

Well, I trust him and I know him. I know with 1000% certainty that this man does not have these issues. I can’t “prove” this to you guys… it’s just a matter of having faith.

I’m also sure that at 26 years old, seeing a picture of his wife naked (whom he’s already seen naked in person numerous times) isn’t going to be any sort of “seed” towards future impurity issues. That’s a little strange, IMHO.

Thanks for looking out though, I appreciate the concern… and I appreciate everyone’s word of caution regarding internet hacking. I will definitely keep that in mind for the future.

 

[PaulGH]

I’m also sure that at 26 years old, seeing a picture of his wife naked (whom he’s already seen naked in person numerous times) isn’t going to be any sort of “seed” towards future impurity issues. That’s a little strange, IMHO.

For many men, this kind of photo would be a temptation toward impurity. Not in the distant future, but at the time of looking at the photo, especially if he receives the photo when he is away from his wife for an extended time. I believe you that your husband doesn’t struggle with impurity, and I will say that you and he are very blessed that he does not. But for many men, this would be a temptation.

 

[beehumble]

The combox on that linked article on revenge had a recurring theme: “How could anybody be so stupid as to think anything posted on the net would remain private???”

What goes on the net, stays on the net, forever. It is quite possible 16 years from now your daughter will be looking at those pictures of you, and become seriously, seriously confused, not to say disillusioned.

God bless you.

 

[Debora123]

For many men, this kind of photo would be a temptation toward impurity. Not in the distant future, but at the time of looking at the photo, especially if he receives the photo when he is away from his wife for an extended time. I believe you that your husband doesn’t struggle with impurity, and I will say that you and he are very blessed that he does not. But for many men, this would be a temptation.

Oh I totally agree with that.

I guess I must have misunderstood what underacloud was trying to say. I thought he was trying to say that seeing a picture like that could get a man to somehow “become” an impure person or something… or become addicted to pornography… when he otherwise wouldn’t have been prior to receiving such photo.

But yeah, I totally agree that most men would probably want to go “relieve themselves” after seeing something like that from his wife. It’s just the situation my husband is in right now, I know he wouldn’t have the energy, time, privacy, or even the libido, to do that.

 

[TheWarriorMonk]

IMHO, there is nothing inherently immoral about what the OP suggests. I do suggest caution, though, with digital media and storing this type of media on anything other than a stand-alone, non-networked computer.

Congrats on for your husband and good luck with his training.

Coming from someone who was in Basic Training…I agree that the Training he will be going through will be grueling…putting it lightly.
When I was at BMT…my libido died. Literally. I had no lustful thoughts whatsoever while I was there…I was like someone totally zapped all the hormones I had within my body. Even when my husband sent me a letter that was, lets say, less then wholesome…I felt nothing. No desire, no lust, nothing stirred.
It was almost frightening.

Shaolin Monks figured this out a long, long time ago. Day after day, month after month, and year after year nonstop training, combined with an essentially vegetarian diet void of stimulating foods/spices, tames the libido.

 

[underacloud]

For many men, this kind of photo would be a temptation toward impurity. Not in the distant future, but at the time of looking at the photo, especially if he receives the photo when he is away from his wife for an extended time. I believe you that your husband doesn’t struggle with impurity, and I will say that you and he are very blessed that he does not. But for many men, this would be a temptation.

I’ll add to that by saying that a photo of your own wife is an even greater temptation toward impurity for many men, because it’s easier to convince yourself that it’s “not really cheating” if you’re thinking about your own wife rather than some random naked woman online.

If it seems strange to you Debora, which I understand, then I’m just trying to put forward a male perspective…it won’t hold for all men of course…but it just seems to me to be playing with fire (on top of the security issues raised by others).

 

[underacloud]

But yeah, I totally agree that most men would probably want to go “relieve themselves” after seeing something like that from his wife.

Yeah, that’s basically what I was implying…sorry I wasn’t clear.

 

[12345678]

Is he human? Yes? then he could be tempted. You don’t have to be a sex/porn/masturbation etc addict to be tempted by a naked picture. No one is immune to temptations.

I think it is pretty straightforward to think that a picture of a naked woman you are attracted to can incite lust. And there is a difference between being naked participating in the marital act/incidentally and purposefully taking a naked picture so that the other person who is not near you just looks at it. Why naked? Why not a normal clothed picture? Is the difference the reaction you want the person to have? What is the difference between the two reactions?
Regardless, there is lack of modesty and purity in taking naked pictures. What makes the pictures ‘fun’? The feelings of lust they provoke? And lust is simply seeking sexual pleasure outside the marital act, is that the pleasure you want the pictures to provoke?

 

[Debora123]

Yeah, that’s basically what I was implying…sorry I wasn’t clear.

It’s ok, I was just reading too much into it haha.

 

[Debora123]

Is he human? Yes? then he could be tempted. You don’t have to be a sex/porn/masturbation etc addict to be tempted by a naked picture. No one is immune to temptations.

I think it is pretty straightforward to think that a picture of a naked woman you are attracted to can incite lust. And there is a difference between being naked participating in the marital act/incidentally and purposefully taking a naked picture so that the other person who is not near you just looks at it. Why naked? Why not a normal clothed picture? Is the difference the reaction you want the person to have? What is the difference between the two reactions?
Regardless, there is lack of modesty and purity in taking naked pictures. ** What makes the pictures ‘fun’? The feelings of lust they provoke?** And lust is simply seeking sexual pleasure outside the marital act, is that the pleasure you want the pictures to provoke?

Let’s not confuse the sin of lust with the feeling of arousal or “warm fuzzies.”

“Lust” is the intent to use another person as an object for your own selfish gratification. No, I wouldn’t want either of us to feel that way towards the other. That’s definitely not fun. Would I think it would be fun if we could have a little bit of that intimate connection and think about each other and get a little excited with anticipation while we’re apart? Yeah, as long as we didn’t take it to the next level and do something we shouldn’t do.

 

[Genevieve_II]

When you say lust, are we referring to the actual SIN of lust? AKA - the intent to use another person as a mere object for our own personal, selfish gratification? I think if the sight of your spouse undressed made you want to use them and objectify them, then you shouldn’t even be having sex in the first place, considering you have to be undressed for that to happen.

If anyone knows “Theology of the Body”, they may be better able to explain this.

In the unitive aspect of marriage, there is a mutual “giving” that occurs in our nakedness. We can become objectified by lust as it deprives one the dignity of giving. Instead of being together with the other, one becomes an object for the other.

Hope that helps!

 

[mangan]

I think it’s really depends upon your comfort zone

 

[pnewton]

Rather than risk impurity, or interception on the internet, might I suggest an alternative. Mail him a picuture, slow but safe, of you in a more romantic or sentimental light, rather than provocative. It will serve your purpose. It is safer if out. It might even be more meaningful to him. You could even choose soft core romance, if you think appropriate.

 

[ATeutonicKnight]

Rather than risk impurity, or interception on the internet, might I suggest an alternative. Mail him a picuture, slow but safe, of you in a more romantic or sentimental light, rather than provocative. It will serve your purpose. It is safer if out. It might even be more meaningful to him. You could even choose soft core romance, if you think appropriate.

What’s soft core romance?

 

[chevalier]

Re: Naked pictures to spouse

(etc.)

Since you asked for honest opinions. I’d be worried about the issue. I’m not really on about the nature of the photographs as much as what purpose they serve. This because even being married to the subject of our imaginations does not give us licence to fantasise. Basically, there is such a thing as lawful intercourse but there isn’t such a thing as a lawful fantasy.

In some cases, such pictures could also pose temptation to masturbate or have some sinful thoughts, or lower one’s resistance to whatever temptations don’t normally work on that person.

 

[EasterJoy]

Rather than risk impurity, or interception on the internet, might I suggest an alternative. Mail him a picuture, slow but safe, of you in a more romantic or sentimental light, rather than provocative. It will serve your purpose. It is safer if out. It might even be more meaningful to him. You could even choose soft core romance, if you think appropriate.

If you don’t want it available for public consumption, you probably don’t want it on film, let alone in pixels. Intercepted love letters are one thing; intercepted photos of one’s naked body are quite another.

As one US President was accused of saying: Nope. Not gonna do it. Wouldn’t be prudent at this juncture."

 

[Ms_Manners]

I’m assuming this would definitely not fall under the category of pornography, since it’s the person you’re married to and love/are committed to for life, and not some random stranger whom you don’t even care about.

I’m thinking about my DH’s view about this.
He says it’s easier not to be reminded of some things when we can go no further.
For him it just builds up desires and needs, and he prefers not to go there if the time is not right.

 

[LizKirb]

If you really are dead set on trying it, why not compromise the “coverage” issue by putting on a cute, little, romantic negligee, striking a pose, and then sending that? Heck, you can meet him with the same negligee when he gets home. That way, you’re still covered if you’re concerned about people seeing you in the buff, but it’s still “sexy” and “romantic” in the way you wanted it to be.

I would suggest either mail or email if you’re going to send it. And make sure it’s a personal email. Everybody’s kinda got that covered already.

 

[mtbender]

I would suggest either mail or email if you’re going to send it. And make sure it’s a personal email. Everybody’s kinda got that covered already.

Remember if he is using a government computer or government network while in training this can get him in trouble. Regardless of what definition we use, they consider it pornography… And while in training, all mail is subject to review (i.e. Opening it in front of the instructors) for contraband.

 

[pnewton]

And while in training, all mail is subject to review (i.e. Opening it in front of the instructors) for contraband.

Which is why discretion is needed in what kind of photograph would be acceptable.