Naked pictures to spouse

[dedo]

My older son is currently looking for a job where he may need a security clearance. We as his parents have wondered if our backgrounds are checked as well. And if so, what kinds of things are looked at. We’re not subversives or anything but my husband grew up in another country although a US citizen, born here. And I make no secret of not supporting the current administration. Neither of us have got a police record however. How far do they go into the family’s history? It surprises me that a neighbor would be asked.

Hi Juliane:

I have never personally had a clearance, so I don’t know. I do know that face to face interviews of neighbors is common for high level clearances.

The questions I was asked had nothing to do with political opinions.

I grew up in a military family where discretion was emphasized. To this day, if anyone tells me something, or if I hear something about someone, I never repeat it if it would be a negative.

I was actually born when my father worked for the NSA. He never talked about his work. When I was in my late 20’s I was reading a spy novel involving NSA. I asked my Dad: “Dad, did you work for NSA when we lived in Maryland. You never told me that.”
His reply was: “You never asked.”

I am pretty sure though that your being one of our sages here at CAF would be a positive thing.

 

[johnnyjones]

My older son is currently looking for a job where he may need a security clearance. We as his parents have wondered if our backgrounds are checked as well. And if so, what kinds of things are looked at. We’re not subversives or anything but my husband grew up in another country although a US citizen, born here. And I make no secret of not supporting the current administration. Neither of us have got a police record however. How far do they go into the family’s history? It surprises me that a neighbor would be asked.

If your speaking of military security clearance, you as parents will be looked at.

My experience has been that from the Police Department, to Aux. Police, to all other capacities of Civil Service law enforcement, the history of parents is not investigated.

 

[Boy_Wonder]

Haha, he was joking of course. Jimmy is awesome.

Thanks. I was worried. There are paleo-Catholics who hold this sort of belief.

 

[Debora123]

Thanks, didn’t mean to hijack your thread, but we had questions and no way to find out any more information. With the economy the way it is, he’s quite concerned about finding a job in his field. The last company required a security clearance and most of the other ones he’s approached will, too. Of course as a 21 year old college student, who is squeaky clean, his background is spotless but the government is different now than it used to be…

No problem at all. Yeah, he should be fine.

 

[Debora123]

Don’t take this personally, I don’t know you of corse, but I wouldn’t do it because it’s trashy.

Thank you for your thoughts.

I guess we’ll have to disagree on it being “trashy” to send your spouse nude photos of yourself. I think having that sort of mindset is kind of an unhealthy way to view your spouse’s body and marital sexuality as a whole.

I’ll agree that it may involve a certain amount of risk that others could see it, and I’ll even agree that discretion must be used to make sure such photos won’t lead to masturbation. But I definitely wouldn’t call it a trashy thing to do.

 

[Debora123]

He does not need any distractions that take his mind away from those life and death decisions that he will be making almost every day. I know your intent is an expression of your love for him. However, his mind needs to be on his work, and thus expressing support in other ways will be better for him.

Thanks for the advice Dedo.

Perhaps I’ll be a lousy military wife, but I disagree with this sort of thinking as well. I don’t think I should have to be worried about distracting him from “more important things” by sending him an intimate picture of myself. I guess that just makes me feel like I need to purposely keep more of a distance than we’ll already have so that he can focus on “more important things.” I know for a fact he wouldn’t agree with that either.

I’ll admit that we’ve already exchanged some photos of this nature before I even wrote this thread. It brings some fun into the situation we’re in of being away from each other, and helps relieve stress and keep a positive attitude in our relationship. Makes the separation a little more bearable for the both of us too.

With that being said, I don’t even believe he’ll be in a lot of life and death situations anyway because he’ll be a pilot. From what I hear, it’s one of the safer jobs because pilots/planes are so expensive, the military doesn’t like putting them in a lot of risk. But I think it’s a moot point anyway.

As for the people saying his job will be in jeopardy if he is caught receiving naked pictures of his wife via his private email or cell phone… well, that sounds so incredibly silly, I’m not sure I even believe it! Not that I think anyone here is lying to me, perhaps just misinformed. I actually asked him about that last night and he thought it was every bit as weird as I did that he’d get in big trouble for something like that. So I don’t know.

 

[Debora123]

I’m one of those people that don’t believe that images, videos, etc. of spouses viewed by those spouses is porn. There is something that just seems inherently wrong with spouses viewing each other’s bodies in a negative manner.

I feel the same way, WarriorMonk!

 

[PaulinVA]

My older son is currently looking for a job where he may need a security clearance. We as his parents have wondered if our backgrounds are checked as well. And if so, what kinds of things are looked at. We’re not subversives or anything but my husband grew up in another country although a US citizen, born here. And I make no secret of not supporting the current administration. Neither of us have got a police record however. How far do they go into the family’s history? It surprises me that a neighbor would be asked.

I was cleared a long time ago for a good many years. The security clearance process is quite extensive and quite ineffective. The investigators start an interview with friends and neighbors by mentioning that what you tell them is public record, and if it leads to a clearance denial, your statement is available to the person being investigated. Right there, they program the process for failure.

No longer is being gay, living with someone without marriage, or having seen a therapist an automatic denial. I don’t know what are flagged factors anymore.

Just a point - none of the spys captured in the past 40 years were caught during a background check or poly.

To make this on topic - “trashy” is subjective, so to each his/her own. BUT, in terms of whipping out a phone with nekkid pictures of your wife and accidentally showing them - “conduct unbecoming” is a large catch all used for a lot of things.

 

[12345678]

I guess we’ll have to disagree on it being “trashy” to send your spouse nude photos of yourself. I think having that sort of mindset is kind of an unhealthy way to view your spouse’s body and marital sexuality as a whole.

She didn’t say that the spouse’s nude body was trashy, simply that sending nude photos was. Come one, if anything a person with a healthy view of marital sexuality would realize that nude photos are not a good idea.

 

[Debora123]

She didn’t say that the spouse’s nude body was trashy, simply that sending nude photos was.

I know, and I never claimed she said the body was trashy.

Either way, I personally find it a sort of negative view of the body/sexuality to think it’s trashy to send your spouse nude photos of yourself. Just my opinion.

Come one, if anything a person with a healthy view of marital sexuality would realize that nude photos are not a good idea.

A bad idea because you can get caught and/or it can lead to masturbation? Quite possibly.

A bad idea because it’s a trashy thing to do? No way.

…And I made sure to say all that too. Just my opinion.

 

[The_Bucket]

A bad idea because you can get caught and/or it can lead to masturbation? Quite possibly.

Spot on and I think the posters who noted the military aspect are right to do it. If your husband was away for a couple of weeks on business and it was sent to his personal laptop or phone? Yeah sure. To a military installation? Yikes.

All three of my brothers in law are Air Force and like others have said, their lives are not their own. Well except the eldest because he’s out now. But for four years his life was basically what they said. And during boot camp/training that goes doubly so.

Given that you’ve noted that he’s got no porn issues, I’d be way more concerned about his superiors discovering this and it hurting his career than it hurting his soul.

 

[Debora123]

Spot on and I think the posters who noted the military aspect are right to do it. If your husband was away for a couple of weeks on business and it was sent to his personal laptop or phone? Yeah sure. To a military installation? Yikes.

Well, he has his personal laptop and phone. And he’s been using his personal email account as well for non military related stuff. In Officer Training he’s been allowed to keep his lap top and cell phone. It’s not as completely hardcore as basic training where you can’t have anything.

Given that you’ve noted that he’s got no porn issues, I’d be way more concerned about his superiors discovering this and it hurting his career than it hurting his soul.

Holy smokes, I still can’t believe anyone’s career would be hurt from privately receiving nude photos from your own spouse. Not only does that seem preposterous, but completely unorthodox as well. Kinda ticks me off.

I mean, they still don’t have the authority to check your cell phone and personal email account, do they?

 

[The_Bucket]

It depends on what the rules are. I can’t pretend to know what the regs are in officer training school.

I know for front-line folks that they let a lot of things go in the field, to the point where out and out pornography is basically OK, but technically nude photos of any kind really and truly are contraband. I imagine that it’s unlikely he’d be in trouble but you never know if a superior wants to be a jerk.

I doubt very much they can just ask him to hand over his email and phone, but again I don’t know the regs there.

 

[mtbender]

As for the people saying his job will be in jeopardy if he is caught receiving naked pictures of his wife via his private email or cell phone… well, that sounds so incredibly silly, I’m not sure I even believe it! Not that I think anyone here is lying to me, perhaps just misinformed. I actually asked him about that last night and he thought it was every bit as weird as I did that he’d get in big trouble for something like that. So I don’t know.

I can tell you with 100% certainty that if it is transmitted on a government network it is a problem. 100% not allowed. As for his cell phone, he should be fine – but in most training environments it will be frowned upon. I am sure he is well aware of what would be considered contraband for his training. I can tell you from experience – between two boot camps and OCS (none with the Air Force mind you) it was prohibited.

 

[johnnyjones]

Lots of repeating.

 

[Debora123]

I can tell you with 100% certainty that if it is transmitted on a government network it is a problem. 100% not allowed. As for his cell phone, he should be fine – but in most training environments it will be frowned upon. I am sure he is well aware of what would be considered contraband for his training. I can tell you from experience – between two boot camps and OCS (none with the Air Force mind you) it was prohibited.

Hmm, very strange…

If you don’t mind me asking, did you go to officer training for the Navy? Are you a pilot too?

 

[mtbender]

Hmm, very strange…

If you don’t mind me asking, did you go to officer training for the Navy? Are you a pilot too?

Coast Guard… and not a pilot.

 

[TheWarriorMonk]

My husband just had his top secret security clearance. They really do ask everyone about everything. Not necessarily because they’re looking for a reason not to let him in… they’ll still let him in. They just like to know as much information as possible.

It is my impression that they are also looking for truthfulness on the part of the person receiving the clearance, based on what I’ve been told by my ex-military friends. They’ve relayed stories to me about some people with some real bad stuff in their past, but received the appropriate clearances because they were straight up front with the interviewers.

 

[BeeSweet]

Thank you for your thoughts.

I guess we’ll have to disagree on it being “trashy” to send your spouse nude photos of yourself. I think having that sort of mindset is kind of an unhealthy way to view your spouse’s body and marital sexuality as a whole.

I’ll agree that it may involve a certain amount of risk that others could see it, and I’ll even agree that discretion must be used to make sure such photos won’t lead to masturbation. But I definitely wouldn’t call it a trashy thing to do.

When I say it’s “trashy” I mean in a manner of what’s tasteful. Jumping to the idea that I view marital sexuality that way is just silly.

I agree with the poster who stated:

She didn’t say that the spouse’s nude body was trashy, simply that sending nude photos was. Come one, if anything a person with a healthy view of marital sexuality would realize that nude photos are not a good idea.

Marital sexuality is private, but nude pics are an open door to an invasion of that privacy; they’re practically an invitation in my opinion and that’s part of what makes them “trashy.” It’s like comparing a peek-a-boo show to an artistic nude portrait or painting. If you’re going to do it, do it with some class and style, and not in anyway that would suggest any shame, such as something you’d have to hide and keep secret. I hope that makes sense.

 

[dedo]

Thanks for the advice Dedo.

Perhaps I’ll be a lousy military wife, but I disagree with this sort of thinking as well. I don’t think I should have to be worried about distracting him from “more important things” by sending him an intimate picture of myself. I guess that just makes me feel like I need to purposely keep more of a distance than we’ll already have so that he can focus on “more important things.” I know for a fact he wouldn’t agree with that either.

I’ll admit that we’ve already exchanged some photos of this nature before I even wrote this thread. It brings some fun into the situation we’re in of being away from each other, and helps relieve stress and keep a positive attitude in our relationship. Makes the separation a little more bearable for the both of us too.

With that being said, I don’t even believe he’ll be in a lot of life and death situations anyway because he’ll be a pilot. From what I hear, it’s one of the safer jobs because pilots/planes are so expensive, the military doesn’t like putting them in a lot of risk. But I think it’s a moot point anyway.

As for the people saying his job will be in jeopardy if he is caught receiving naked pictures of his wife via his private email or cell phone… well, that sounds so incredibly silly, I’m not sure I even believe it! Not that I think anyone here is lying to me, perhaps just misinformed. I actually asked him about that last night and he thought it was every bit as weird as I did that he’d get in big trouble for something like that. So I don’t know.

Deborah:

I am sure you are, and will be an incredible military wife.

I don’t think you have a problem now; however, you just don’t want those pictures turning up in the wrong place. If that happens that could be a problem for your husband.
It will be more important once he becomes eligible for command.

The military is just different. People there do incredible things and they are trusted with huge responsibility. It takes time to learn what the written and unwritten rules are.

As I said, I was not in the military. Once when I was in training though my professor commented on how I would have done in the military. Another trainee (in a different department) made a derogatory remark about our field. I immediately verbally attacked and jumped all over the guy right in front of my professor. He did not say a word. Later he did say something to me. He said: “Dedo, it is good that you did not go into the military. You would have lasted about two weeks.” He had been in the military.

So I suggest just take it slow and pause before acting.