"(Name) has just viewed your profile!"

[Rawb]

I’ve been on that site. I even met a really cute girl, went on a couple of dates with her, but ultimately we weren’t right for each other. She was 100% Catholic. Maybe more like 110%. In this day and age it’s very, very difficult to find practicing Catholic girls but they are out there, assuming the girl I dated for a bit wasn’t the only one.

I told a friend once that in Catholicism, once you’re ready to marry you fill out a form that goes into a big computer in the Vatican and it matches you with someone you’re compatible with and that’s it; that’s who you marry. He believed me until I burst out laughing. Alas, if it were only that easy.

 

[archangel04]

I did correspond with a woman from that dating site that was on the liberal side because I had this mentality (maybe I can change her). I was wrong: she stopped talking to me because I wouldn’t agree to pre-marital sex and her continued use of contraceptives.

I guess my whole point of this thread was to point out that my experience has been that God fearing women are the exception, not the rule. I think that’s sad. I’m not trying to talk poorly of women, but it’s just my personal experience.

The women that are fearing of God and living according to the Catholic faith are a beacon of hope in an otherwise dreary existence.

If you come off strong and immediatly put those view out there, than yeah your going to scare of many women, even the conservative ones. You have to start out simple and live your Catholic life and show them that you live it. Talk is cheap and usally only brings trouble, but action is worth more. When I had that mentality that I only wanted a traditional COTT receiving girl and no other I realize I was putting my self in a position that made me feel that I had not faults and this is not true. But again it’s your life and you should have expectations, but you never know who that one girls truly is until you get to know her. Alway put your self in God’s hands and allow Him to guide you.

 

[Momofmyangels]

I belong to an online Catholic dating website.

It can be pretty exciting. When someone looks at your profile, you get an email saying “so and so has just viewed your profile.” So I’ll get my hopes up, thinking that maybe I’ve found the one, but then BAM, back to reality.

Here’s why:

This Catholic dating site has this little questionnaire that everyone is asked to fill out, and it simply asks whether or not you accept the Church’s teaching on the Eucharist, Contraception, Sanctity of Life, Papal Infallibility, Premarital Sex, Immaculate Conception, and Holy Orders. I’ve found that instead of getting all excited about the person by reading their profile, I jump to the answers they’ve given to this questionnaire and I am always disappointed because I’ve yet to find a woman on that site that accepts all seven of the Church’s teachings on these subjects. Even the “traditional” ones usually have one or two disagreements.

It’s sad! My parents keep asking me when I’m going to get married, and I tell them that I will as soon as I find a God fearing woman. That’s my only preference; I don’t care about looks, money, career…I don’t care about any of that. Just give me a God fearing woman!

But where are they? They aren’t in the singles groups or online Catholic dating sites, that’s for sure.

damooster, I used to ask this same question, but wondering where all the Catholic guys were! I didn’t belong to any online dating websites, but I was very active in church, Right-To-Life committees and still found it difficult to find any young men who followed ALL the Catholic Church teachings. I considered entering the convent, but my heart was always drawn to children and I wished for a family…so I prayed, quite simply for a good Catholic guy. My prayers were answered, not in my time, but in God’s. I could never have found my husband on my own. We were paired together in a wedding and began dating a day later and were married a year later. Now, 11 years and 6 children later, I realize how important it is to “Let go, and Let God.” It was hard then to have patience, but Our Lord had someone special “picked” for me and He sent him to me in His own good time!

Sorry, this probably does not help, and I am sorry you are going through this. You sound like a very kind and charitable person and I will say a prayer for you at Mass in the morning.

 

[faithfully]

If I were to meet a woman that truly fears God, looks would not matter at all to me.

As for the priesthood, if I can come up with about $30k to get within the diocesan financial requirements, I would do it in a heartbeat.

Oh, This is going to sound bad…

That’s barely a down payment on a cheap house in my neck of the woods…

It seems if $$ is the only thing keeping you from being a priest, you’re not what many women would consider marriage material. I think you’re supposed to be a priest. Although, my advise would be to investigate that further. I can’t imagine we are so full of prospects that you would be turned away just because of money.

 

[ConstantineTG]

Very true many protestants have more faith than we do…the only danger is what if their beliefs put not just their soul in danger but ours? Artificial contraception comes to mind.

I became a better Catholic because of my cousin who is a member of the Alliance Church. I lived with her for a month and a half when I moved to Canada. Very nice person, and every other sentence has “God” in it, in a good way, not in a cussing way. I always believed Catholics have the fullness of truth, but why is it that in thought and words and in action, they are more Christian than I am? So I strive to be come a better Christian. Still a work in progress, but I wasn’t going to sit where I was any longer.

 

[kamaan]

I became a better Catholic because of my cousin who is a member of the Alliance Church. I lived with her for a month and a half when I moved to Canada. Very nice person, and every other sentence has “God” in it, in a good way, not in a cussing way. I always believed Catholics have the fullness of truth, but why is it that in thought and words and in action, they are more Christian than I am? So I strive to be come a better Christian. Still a work in progress, but I wasn’t going to sit where I was any longer.

Stephen Harper’s church?

 

[FirstCalled]

I’m having the same problem. Its very easy to love God but its very different to fear God. Ave Maria Singles mandates you follow all the Church’s teachings, but it costs $180.

You dont care about looks? lol

How did you discern against the priesthood?

I just looked up ave maria singles and it looks like their price dropped dramatically, $99. Anyone have a good experience with it?

 

[ConstantineTG]

This is a very bad idea. Marrying a person that you have to change to make her/him the person you really want is likely to lead to a lifetime of regret. The OP has the right approach to this. Look for a person who shares your faith.

There are no relationships where you are both in the same place. If you cannot grow within a relationship, its not a healthy relationship. If you want your partner to be exactly the same the day you met him/her, then that is not a healthy relationship. I learned that a long time ago.

 

[ConstantineTG]

Stephen Harper’s church?

I do not know what denomination Stephen Harper belongs to. But Alliance Church is a kind of Evangelical Church from what I know.

 

[StrawberryJam]

I belong to an online Catholic dating website.

It can be pretty exciting. When someone looks at your profile, you get an email saying “so and so has just viewed your profile.” So I’ll get my hopes up, thinking that maybe I’ve found the one, but then BAM, back to reality.

Here’s why:

This Catholic dating site has this little questionnaire that everyone is asked to fill out, and it simply asks whether or not you accept the Church’s teaching on the Eucharist, Contraception, Sanctity of Life, Papal Infallibility, Premarital Sex, Immaculate Conception, and Holy Orders. I’ve found that instead of getting all excited about the person by reading their profile, I jump to the answers they’ve given to this questionnaire and I am always disappointed because I’ve yet to find a woman on that site that accepts all seven of the Church’s teachings on these subjects. Even the “traditional” ones usually have one or two disagreements.

It’s sad! My parents keep asking me when I’m going to get married, and I tell them that I will as soon as I find a God fearing woman. That’s my only preference; I don’t care about looks, money, career…I don’t care about any of that. Just give me a God fearing woman!

But where are they? They aren’t in the singles groups or online Catholic dating sites, that’s for sure.

How long have you been there?

Everything takes time. The narrative talks about it taking time for God to create everything.

Give yourself a break. I am guessing that it will happen when you are not spending so much time thinking and over thinking it.
Relax a bit.
Just on this thread alone you must have found reasons to believe what I am telling you now.

 

[ConstantineTG]

I did correspond with a woman from that dating site that was on the liberal side because I had this mentality (maybe I can change her). I was wrong: she stopped talking to me because I wouldn’t agree to pre-marital sex and her continued use of contraceptives.

I guess my whole point of this thread was to point out that my experience has been that God fearing women are the exception, not the rule. I think that’s sad. I’m not trying to talk poorly of women, but it’s just my personal experience.

The women that are fearing of God and living according to the Catholic faith are a beacon of hope in an otherwise dreary existence.

Well, its the state of the world we live in. I didn’t have an easy time finding the person I would spend the rest of my life with. But what I did was pray and trust in God that I will meet her. Just remember that you always have free will, maybe there’s a person standing right in front of you right now that God has brought there, but you still have to make the next step.

 

[ConstantineTG]

My guess is that what you describe might work okay for some; but I don’t believe one should count on changing someone else’s mind. It seems to me that to look for someone who is solid with authentic Church teaching is the way to go.

Peace,

Dorothy (a widow)

Of course, we all have different circumstances and preferences in life. What might work for one might not work for another. I just shared my life to maybe the OP can get some ideas from it.

 

[Adeodatus]

As for the priesthood, if I can come up with about $30k to get within the diocesan financial requirements, I would do it in a heartbeat.

I’m not understanding this part. It costs $30k to become a priest?

I thought seminary was like graduate school… if they want you, they foot the bill. That’s not it?

 

[Hesychios]

"Miss Fickle has just viewed your profile!"

I don’t know if you are already doing this, but the information is pretty general advice for anyone …

Get involved in parish life, or become an oblate with a monastery/third order Franciscan or Carmelite, perhaps you would rather volunteer with the Saint Vincent DePaul society. You could spend part of your vacation with Habitat for Humanity, or go to Jamaica and work as a volunteer with Father Richard Ho Lung. Get into real life Christian action and you will meet people while you hone your faith, you will also meet good Christians that are looking for a good man to introduce their female friends to…

Use the match sites for making pen pals but forget it for matching for a spouse. If you get some surprising interest on the match site, fine, ask her to join you in Jamaica .

 

[StrawberryJam]

I’m not understanding this part. It costs $30k to become a priest?

I thought seminary was like graduate school… if they want you, they foot the bill. That’s not it?

Texas does things no one else does. They even have the whole catholic education thing so very cheap compared to Chicago that, it seems Texas is the place to be if a believer.

 

[FirstCalled]

Seminary costs depend on location. If you join a specific order they will usually foot the bill or usually expect you to fundraise in some way, but if you can’t make the monthly payments they will generally let you stay.
The diocese does depend as well, but generally, they diocese is more strict that you fund yourself.

 

[damooster]

I’m not understanding this part. It costs $30k to become a priest?

I thought seminary was like graduate school… if they want you, they foot the bill. That’s not it?

My diocese requires that you have no more than $40k in student loans and no more than $3k in debt. I would need money to bring my student loans to within this range and to pay off my new car. Roughly $30k for both.

 

[damooster]

"Miss Fickle has just viewed your profile!"

I don’t know if you are already doing this, but the information is pretty general advice for anyone …

Get involved in parish life, or become an oblate with a monastery/third order Franciscan or Carmelite, perhaps you would rather volunteer with the Saint Vincent DePaul society. You could spend part of your vacation with Habitat for Humanity, or go to Jamaica and work as a volunteer with Father Richard Ho Lung. Get into real life Christian action and you will meet people while you hone your faith, you will also meet good Christians that are looking for a good man to introduce their female friends to…

Use the match sites for making pen pals but forget it for matching for a spouse. If you get some surprising interest on the match site, fine, ask her to join you in Jamaica .

I do those things. Well, I haven’t been to Jamaica, but I am very active in the different groups in the area i.e. volunteering, parish groups etc.

And it’s not like I’m fretting over this. I don’t even really look at the site; I just go to the site when I receive one of the notifications I mentioned.

 

[Adeodatus]

My diocese requires that you have no more than $40k in student loans and no more than $3k in debt. I would need money to bring my student loans to within this range and to pay off my new car. Roughly $30k for both.

OK, that makes sense. Sorry to hear about your debt.

 

[ConstantineTG]

Texas does things no one else does. They even have the whole catholic education thing so very cheap compared to Chicago that, it seems Texas is the place to be if a believer.

Or in Canada, Catholic Schools are funded by the government in Ontario. But not so in other provinces.