Thank you everyone - in this case it is my father. Please forgive me for spilling this, I have nowhere else to really turn at this point, and I desperately need some community that the Church is famous for.
My parents split over 12 years ago now. He cheated on my mom, convinced me she was nuts because she struggled with a really horrific family past and some depression, has invaded my diaries and my room…this was long ago.
Now he hangs out with my mom’s extended family quite often - comes all the way out here to do so. He spreads actual slander about my mom, and I have emails to prove it that were forwarded to me but he claims are altered. He says that she slept around, had abortions, stuff about seances, was never abused as a child, etc.
He threatened to destroy my relationship with my mother when I told him that doing a comedy show at her workplace out here was not very cool, then proceeded to attack my beliefs claiming I was a fake. My mom has been struggling with breast cancer this past year, with no support from half of her extended family who all live out here because he has turned them against her somehow. They, including her own mother now, all ignore her. His mom calls my mom asking if “her parts are working”, and writes her letters saying she will be blasted with fire outside of the heavenly jerusalem (my dad and his mom are both seventh-day adventist) if my mom doesn’t forgive him…which she has repeatedly. She has only ever encouraged me and him to work things out and fix things, yet he is convinced she is manipulating me. It has been horrific.
He holds me accountable for not inviting him to my wife and I’s wedding in Ireland last year…my wife did not want him there at all, and I did not want to make my mom who was about undergo chemo have to stand next to someone claiming she has had multiple abortions and slept around. I wanted her to heal, to have strength. I thought I would lose her, I wanted her to have one last happy time free of all of the horrible family treatment and haunting by her ex husband.
What do I do??? He claims he just wants to build a relationship with me again, yet treats my mother so strangely, so awfully. He says he does not go around saying anything to anyone about her, and yet I have emails that were forwarded to me that say otherwise - the writer couldn’t understand why she was dragged into it all by him.
If anyone has been through something like this, please tell me how to survive it all. I am even gettng nasty emails from old friends who are also friends with him now…it’s like his notions are spreading everywhere…
I am even scared to post this…
