Nasty comments on having "Too Many" babies how to deal with this?

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…a couple in church raised 13 children… upon announcing the pregnancy of her 10th child a middle aged woman with 1 child exclaimed “well, what do you call that?”, the newly pregnant for the 10th time mother answered… “it’s a good start”… Lord love her, i do…👍
 
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KCT:
I’m not convinced that snide remarks will win anyone over or convince them that you’re happy (not that you have to convince them of anything). If you have to reply, find a kind way to say it’s a personal question and you prefer not to answer. —KCT
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I agree with KCT. If you want to think the funny sarcastic stuff, that’s great. It’ll put a smile on your face. However, a sweet nice answer will show how much you love having a bunch of kids.

I have a multiracial family (we’re an adoptive family) and believe you me I get the rude comments. I usually say things like __“aren’t they beautiful?” “we’re so lucky and blessed”. In my head, I’m thinking all kinds of wicked little comebacks;) .
 
I was in Wal-Mart one time with my 4 children when my youngest was a new baby. The cashier was commenting on how sweet all my children were when she suddenly and loudly demanded: “Did you get your tubes tied?” The smile was frozen on my face and I said “Excuse me?” She repeated her question even louder. At that moment one of my children did something distracting to me so I didn’t answer her. After I got home I thought up the perfect response: “Why would I do that?” If said with a puzzled smile, as though the thought wouldn’t even occur to me, I think it would have forced her to confront her own hang ups.
 
ahhh, yes, I think I’ve heard it all at some point or other - usually repeatedly.

I try to smile, ignore, or negate their comments, but pregnent mamas have bad moments too and then a nice comeback is handy to just make the offender shut-up and leave me alone.

“Don’t you know what causes that?!”
Why yes we do! We’re experts even.
NO! Could you explain it to me right here in front of my young children?
Causes what? Oh my goodness, I’m pregnant?!

“Are you/he going to get fixed or did you get fixed?!”
Things seem to be in great working order here. Do you need a repair job?

“Are they all yours?!”
Yes, we only have 7 so far.

“What are you… catholic?”
Yes.

“I think there’s a reason some animals eat their young - thank God I only have 1!” (Yes, that was an actual comment from a mom with her pre-teen son at Toys R Us!)
Well. How sad. Thank God we’re not animals.

“I think I’d kill myself if I was pregnant with a 5th!” (Yes, an actual comment from another mom in front of her grown daughter at an RCIA dinner.)
Uh. Well. Um. Thank God your daughter seems to have survived to join us tonight.

“Haven’t you heard of the pill?”
Yes! Viagra is the best thng to ever happen to us! (My dh actually said this exactly 1 time! Very effective.)

For medical professionals:
“Just enjoy the job security would you!”
 
We are only on our 2nd child (first was a boy), but I am PRAYING that we have a girl so that I can have opportunities to evangelize about the gift of life.

“Ah, so you got your girl and your boy.”

"Heck, we’re just getting started."
 
These comments are hilarious. We are facing some of the same stuff from my wife’s parents. They are Methodist and their son had a vasectomy and of course they are after me to get one (no way). She is a pediatrician and they think that I am just ruining her career and such a burden. We had a talk about this and agreed that we would probably never make them happy. I think that if you are living life fully you will make some people mad and some people will remain ignorant so try to educate some, blow off the others, and pray for the rest.

I had a career and am restarting another but the parents forget that I put her through school (Branch Manager for a daytrading firm) and raised our kids while she was on call and gone. The reason I go into this is that we will eventually move from this place (which makes none of our parents happy) and some other decisions which no one will approve. I am working out of the house (they don’t like it) and my wife is going to start her own practice (they hate that one also). Set your resolve ahead of time (someone mentioned to watch out for the advice about tying the tubes at the hospital this is what I mean).

By the way we just had our third boy.
 
Thank you all for these great comebacks. My daughter thanks you all too. Sometimes these fools leave you dumbfounded. It’s great to be ready with a comeback up your sleeve without getting angry or foul-mouthed. They were all great!!! :blessyou:
 
There are some legitimate reasone one might opt not to hae any more children. Health issues and financial issues being the most common. The Catholic church does approve of the rythem meathod (not having sex when the woman is most likely to be ovulating) and there are even classes that churches host to help cupples who opt to use this method.

My wife and I (i’m protestant but I’m the man so kind of a non issue) are in an odd situation, my wife is on birth controll pills butthey are to increace the chances of her being able to concieve. Her doctor is a devout Catholic so no worries but we have concitered taking the classes when she is ready to come off the pill, logically if you can plan when NOT to have sex to not hav a child you can plan when to have sex TO have a child.
 
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Shlemele:
There are some legitimate reasone one might opt not to hae any more children. Health issues and financial issues being the most common. The Catholic church does approve of the rythem meathod (not having sex when the woman is most likely to be ovulating) and there are even classes that churches host to help cupples who opt to use this method.

My wife and I (i’m protestant but I’m the man so kind of a non issue) are in an odd situation, my wife is on birth controll pills butthey are to increace the chances of her being able to concieve. Her doctor is a devout Catholic so no worries but we have concitered taking the classes when she is ready to come off the pill, logically if you can plan when NOT to have sex to not hav a child you can plan when to have sex TO have a child.
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Hello,

I feel very bad about your problem concieving and I will say a prayer for you. I will have to go back and reread all the posts but I don’t think that anyone was passing judgement on smaller families. Maybe you could start a different thread.
 
Oh, by no means have I ever felt smaller families were somehow lacking and I’m sure there are certain issues making it a neccessity for some couples.

What ticks me off is when smaller families assume that larger families are lacking: education, common sense, responsiblity, and…

For example: I see a little boy with ketchup on his shirt throwing a screaming fit at Walmart and think “Somebody sure enjoyed his lunch and has some seriously healthy lungs. Nope no wall-flower in the making there!”🙂 Send the mom a BTDT smile and go my merry way.

But if I drop in at Walmart after spending the day at the park and the kids are sweaty and dirty and still have a little ketchup on them from the corndogs they ate - it’s “OMG, those welfare people! Would you just look at that? She’s got so many she can’t even keep them clean! And listen to that boys scream! How rude of her to subject us to listening to that while she shops.” Usually done with frowns because of course their kid was always a perfect angel don’t you know.:rolleyes:

Normally my kids are never allowed to leave the house under those conditions for just that reason, but good grief! They’re just kids and that’s what normal healthy kids looks like sometimes. My grandmother used to say that she would get nervous around kids that were always kept perfectly tidy - she was worried they were sick or something!🙂

Of course, then there is what my dh calls the “grandpa phenom.” ! It’s always an old man (don’t know where the grannies are?) but they just appear when we go out to eat or shopping and want to sit near us or sorta follow us around the store. It’s always nearly the same. “Are all those little blessings yours? You’re so lucky and don’t even know it yet, but one day when your old like me you’ll sure be glad for all those babies. I thought we had enough, but you just can’t have enough of those. I’d have had more if I could go back in time.”… It used to really freak me out that they would just walk up and tough my babies :eek: but they just desperately want to cuddle up to a kid and listen to them jabber away.

My dh says he thought they were weird until he because one of them on a 2 month business trip out of the country. Said all of the sudden he noticed that when he went out to eat he was looking over the place to see where the families were sitting and getting a table near them so he could listen to the “family chatter” while he ate. Now, he understands those old men are just men who missed alot of their kids growing up years while they worked away from home.:love: Makes our day to have a “grandpa phenom” moment!
 
Some good friends of ours has a family of seven and they receive similar comments in the grocery store. Usually, most are to the effect of: “can’t they control themselves?”

So, one time the father overheard this remark and said “wait a minute” and lined all of his kids up in front of the person. He then asked “now tell me, which one of these children shouldn’t I have had?”

Needless to say, the person was stunned and had no response. Its amazing how much a person’s attitude changes when they start seeing children as human beings.
 
I am on my fifth (due June 24th) and my mother keeps asking, “Are you going to get snipped?” To which I answer her, “Sure, that’s a great idea!!! I am going to pay several hundred dollars for a doctor to give me a six fold increased chance of getting prostate cancer. That’s a wonderful idea Mom. You wanna come watch?” She has summarily learn to stop asking that question.
 
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Scott_Lafrance:
I am on my fifth (due June 24th) and my mother keeps asking, “Are you going to get snipped?” To which I answer her, “Sure, that’s a great idea!!! I am going to pay several hundred dollars for a doctor to give me a six fold increased chance of getting prostate cancer. That’s a wonderful idea Mom. You wanna come watch?” She has summarily learn to stop asking that question.
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Kudos to you for having 5 kids in an area where it is almost impossible to afford to live. I’ll be living in Vienna sometime soon and it’s hard for me to comprehend raising a family there.
 
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StratusRose:
Kudos to you for having 5 kids in an area where it is almost impossible to afford to live. I’ll be living in Vienna sometime soon and it’s hard for me to comprehend raising a family there.
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Good luck on eitehr the rent or the mortgage. I live in Woodbridge and it is getting rediculous here. 2 year old townhomes are going for $400,000. New THs are starting at $450,000 and single family homes start at $650,000.
 
I agree that sarcasm usually isn’t productive. People think what people think, regardless of what kind of answer you give them. Besides, who cares what they think?

What really strikes me about this thread, is that apparently even among Catholics there are many who view having more than one or two children as some kind of stupidity. When you look around at Mass, it seems apparent what many think about having big families.
 
Hi there. My husband and I have had the same thing happen to us with different people. The one that really made me mad came from my Grandpa who came from a family of 13 and who had 7 children of his own. When I was pregnant with my fourth child he said do me a favor, don’t have anymore after this one. I said why you had seven, then he went into this long story about things being different back then. (He is not Catholic). Well, I guess we didn’t listen to him cause we are now expecting our fifth child at the end of Oct. The one nurse I had was asking all the questions that they ask on your first visit and one was are you planning on using any type of birth control after this baby? Of course I said NO! Then she said have you thought about having your tubes tied? I said no and she said are you Catholic? I said yes and she said is that why? I said I wouldn’t have them tied even if I wasn’t Catholic. I don’t believe in doing that!!! Someone told my husband he needed to find a hobby, he said no I like the one have just fine!!LOLOL. There are some really nosey people in this world and I figure they just aren’t happy with their lives or they have nothing better to do except interfere with other peoples lives. My own familiy members did not have any nice things to say about our pregnancy but God obviously thinks it is the right thing for us. Oh to be so negative and down on something that is the most wonderful gift from God!! Children are a blessing, and we certainly are blessed. Prayers to all!
 
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Scott_Lafrance:
Good luck on eitehr the rent or the mortgage. I live in Woodbridge and it is getting rediculous here. 2 year old townhomes are going for $400,000. New THs are starting at $450,000 and single family homes start at $650,000.
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Well luckily my boyfriend already owns his house. He bought it for $375,000 in 2003. Now, the house across the street from him is going for $555,000, and its a one story rambler with a basement. Simply amazing. Of course I won’t be moving to Vienna without 2 rings on my finger. 😉
 
A few generic putters-in-place might help. I’m single and so have not even started the childmaking process (let’s hear it for morality) but I have come under fire for saying that when I get married I want no less than 10 children and more if possible. (Broke up with one boyfriend because he refused to allow more than 4). Here’s a few things to say:

“If your brain were the size of your ego, you’d be the global dictator by now.”

“Quit complaining - I’m just putting fuel in the Social Security engine. More than YOU"RE doing, you slacker you. Get busy and get breeding! The economy is falling!”

“You must be taking a leaf from your parents’ book. No wonder they quit after you.”

“Are your tubes tied?”---- “I’ll tell you that if you tell me how much you weigh.”

“Do I feel hot air blowing or is that just you?”

“You only have one kid? Praise God from Whom all blessings flow!”

“What, you don’t want to go through childbirth again? You’re chicken!”

And my personal favorite:

“Tell you what. Come a little closer and say that when you’re surrounded by five angry teenagers.”
 
I’m one of seven kids that survived. There were originally 10, of which I am the ninth (the seventh son). I am really grateful my parents did NOT decide to stop at 7 or 8.

I love being a part of a big family. It’s not how many kids you have, it’s how much love there is in the family. We had a lot of kids and a lot of love.
 
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