A priest once told me as a matter of fact, that people get married so they can have sex. Most people from an early age are looking forward to sex, then to tell them they must abstain even within marriage, when one of the main purposes of marriage is sex, seems contradictory and somewhat harsh.
Is it harsh to tell someone facing martyrdom that it is sinful to renounce their faith in Christ even if it means their death?
The point, again, being that just because something is difficult does not mean it is wrong. Is the Church teaching on contraception difficult for the couples for whom NFP does not work? Yes, of course it is difficult. But the fact that it is difficult does not mean that it is wrong. The only argument anybody on this thread has brought up for contraception is that there are cases when life will be very difficult without it. But, again, Christ did not say in the Bible that life would be easy here on earth for his faithful followers. Instead He told us to take up our crosses and follow Him. Against the command to take up our crosses and follow Christ the claim that we just thought it was too difficult so we ignored His command and our cross doesn’t really sound like a great excuse.
I did look forward to sex, but the biggest reason that I wanted marriage was for husband/children/family. I think maybe fellas are more overtly driven by the need for sex than women… (in general).
I think you are right there. Women tend to be more driven by the husband/family motivation than men (not to say men don’t want families).
I can’t believe the majority of people on this forum are Catholics. No wonder the Church is in such disarray. The sexual revolution has really infected our way of thinking. Sex is a gift from God for married husband and wife only. It’s meant to be pleasurable, otherwise there wouldn’t be hardly any children on this earth. It was never meant to be a plaything for selfish pleasure only. No kids allowed!! Our society has warped our way of thinking. We abuse God’s gifts and then gripe cause HE made us that way. Do we actually realize what we are saying sometimes, telling God what HE should do. The Catholic Church is guided by the Holy Spirit, GOD, and we have guts enough to tell HIM, HE’S wrong. We might as well wander off and join some other denomination that doesn’t care what we do. Is that what we really want? If you think I am not speaking from experience your wrong. I have been married twice and widowed twice, I had 9 children, seven living. My first husband died in an accident, we had 5 children, (one died). My second husband was ill for 15 out of the 18 years we were married. Disabled 12 of those years. We abstained plenty because of his illness and had 4 children several years apart, (one died). I could have had a hysterectomy after my 6th, (Dr. recommended) but I said NO cause I want more than one child with my second husband. I have been widowed again for over 30 years. My kids are all grown into fine adults. Would you believe I haven’t died from not having sex!!! I wasn’t raised to think that sex was the most important thing in life, no matter WHAT. I care about my soul. I cared about my husband’s souls, (both were converts) and I care about my family’s souls. It hasn’t always been easy. But we made it through and now I await my “old” age while enjoying my family. I love my Catholic Faith. It has carried me through so many situations, I can’t even remember them all. I have attended daily Mass for 40 years praying for our family, still am. Have made Holy Hours numerous times during the week for over 25 years. And I will keep all here in my prayers . I am NOT bragging. I am just saying it CAN be done, with love and trust in God and my Faith. God Bless, Memaw
I love this post. Thanks, Memaw. Your words are sane and honest and true.
100% agree. She said exactly what I couldn’t find the words to say myself.
I agree. Thank you, Memaw.
I truly admire your strong faith and conviction. You have lived through so much! I look forward to the day when i can attend daily mass. I have 7 kids now from 12-4 months. Sometimes I feel like we have been irresponsible by having so many kids but when I really think about it, I think that is inappropriate guilt placed on me by a society that says we need to pay for cell phones, cars, and college for all our kids or you are not “financially” able to have more kids. I will need to have a total hip replacement when I finish breastfeeding our baby(my husband will be forced to abstain!) and, even though we will probably have a legit medical reason not to have more kids, I just can’t say “no more babies”! Not that we would “try” to get pregnant again, but I don’t think complete abstinence or even strict NFP will be utilized. And I most certainly admit to feeling overwhelmed on a not so rare occasion, but there are also those times when things are going smoothly. I look forward to our later years when we can enjoy the “fruits of our labor” with our grown children and grandchildren.
I think that that’s one of the ideas that needs to be addressed. I remember growing up as an Evangelical with those kind of ideas–that being single meant abstinence, but once we were all properly married, it would be some sort of non-stop sexapalooza. Even just from a purely secular point of view, that’s not the case. There are so many different times when abstinence is required, even for the secular couple–post-partum, after a miscarriage, when “pelvic rest” is ordered during pregnancy, after a hysterectomy, etc. And then there are all the times when one or both members of the couple is sick, in pain, exhausted, out of town, or simply not up to it. And that’s true for everybody, not just Catholics (but of course practicing Catholics will on average have more abstinence than others). I think that the need to be prepared for abstinence in marriage definitely needs to be emphasized to engaged couples to prevent misunderstandings and hurt feelings.
I was hoping to help some understand that doing God’s will works out in the long run. HE looked out for us in sooo many unexpected ways. It takes my breath away thinking of it. My youngest son had a big lump on the back of his knee at age 2 and was to go into the hospital the next day for surgery. We didn’t know what was in store. I was terrified and the night before I prayed to St. Joseph to look after him like he did Baby Jesus. The next morning when I woke him up to get him ready he slid off the bed and said, “Mama, I can walk!” I felt the back of his knee and the lump was GONE. They could find NO trace of it, the Dr.s were amazed. He is 38 years old, 6 ft.3 in. today. He also survived a life threatening surgery a year ago. Beats a life of sin any old day not matter how difficult . God Bless, Memaw
What I have trouble understanding is that having sex while avoiding pregnancy is a sin. Avoiding pregnancy for mere convenience? Yes, that is wrong, but for what reason is a couple sinning if they maintain sexual relations while avoiding conception if they have serious reasons for spacing births? If it is so they can better raise the life they were open to, have they sinned?
“Give 'em an inch and they’ll take a mile.”
Sex is the only bodily function whose purpose must never be thwarted. We can eat empty calories, but we cannot have non procreative sex. The “throwing up food” example is in no way analogous to contraception. Eating empty calories is analogous, not vomiting.
Sex and procreation are inherently linked. That’s biology. It just so happens that in humans, unlike lots of other creatures, most of the time sex is not going to result in a baby.
Congratulations on your little one!
I am not sure who you are replying to here, but I have noticed there are a few people on this forum, not sure if they are trolls, or confused about Catholic teaching, or making up their own teaching, who think that sex is sinful unless done for the purpose of procreation at a time when the woman is known to be fertile.