I’ll say it publicly because I believe the Lord spared me the final destination at the time. I was having a tough time with a reaction to chemo as an outpatient. My oncologist was given me nuelasta shots to boost my white blood cells…but this was causing bone pain/swelling. One day or night, not sure which, I had pain in my collerbones so bad I couldn’t take it any more. I was on oxycotins for longterm pain and diladins for short term pain. I was eating diladins until I passed out. I don’t recall going to sleep, just one minute I was in pain and the next second I was falling into a black empty abyss. There was a mix of terror, vertigo, spinning fast. It was like a blackhole. As this continued on, I realized I wasn’t asleep but dying. I also knew it was getting worse and worse. It felt like I was being crushed in the vertigo, all the way to my soul. An inner voice told me to get up and I fought hard to come back to consciencness. When I finally came too, I was facedown across the bed. I had dim sight, tunnel vision and a crushing feeling for a while afterwards. I also woke up and went into a panic attack. It sucked.