Need advice explaining homosexual relationship to a child diplomatically

[Sapphiregirl]

I don’t know… this world has done away with stoning and slavery, I think it’s a very good world.

 

[SwizzleStick]

…And if the parents fight, the child will be the one to lose.

I don’t see how the child won’t lose no matter what, considering the choices her father has made. As you stated, it doesn’t appear that her mother can protect her. That is truly tragic.

 

[BlueEyedLady]

It is truly discouraging that both of these posts reflect what a truly corrupted, decaying, warped, fallen world we live in.

I don’t think so at all. I would be far more concerned if courts were coming in to families and dictating what values could or could not be passed on. Families deserve privacy and freedom. And you should be grateful too. If courts could do that there would be a fair number of jurisdictions where Catholic values would be inhibited. And not just secular jurisdictions either, but in very protestant heavy areas too.

And there’s a reason divorce courts won’t rule on the religious upbringing of a child. In doing so they would be preventing one parent from being able to pass on their religious beliefs and practices, and that is a first amendment violation.

Even religion clauses in prenups cannot be honored or enforced by the courts.

 

[SwizzleStick]

I don’t think so at all. I would be far more concerned if courts were coming in to families and dictating what values could or could not be passed on. Families deserve privacy and freedom. And you should be grateful too. If courts could do that there would be a fair number of jurisdictions where Catholic values would be inhibited. And not just secular jurisdictions either, but in very protestant heavy areas too.

And there’s a reason divorce courts won’t rule on the religious upbringing of a child. In doing so they would be preventing one parent from being able to pass on their religious beliefs and practices, and that is a first amendment violation.

Even religion clauses in prenups cannot be honored or enforced by the courts.

If the world had any common sense or decency left, the mother would be able to protect her child from a disordered relationship, without religion even entering into the picture. As it stands, she cannot.

 

[Sapphiregirl]

This is a religious issue because your religion calls the relationship disordered. Not everyone sees it as disordered.

I personally see the whole concept of Annulment as very disordered. You don’t see me trying to ban it, and keep people who have had annulments away from their kids.

 

[ThyKingdomCome]

Wow… y’all are seriously suggesting that this woman work to sever her daughter’s relationship with her father for no other reason than that he dates men… Wow…

I will assume that “y’all” does not include me. Because if it does, your statement would be a gross mischaracterization of what I said.

 

[SwizzleStick]

This is a religious issue because your religion calls the relationship disordered. Not everyone sees it as disordered.

I personally see the whole concept of Annulment as very disordered. You don’t see me trying to ban it, and keep people who have had annulments away from their kids.

It is not just a religious issue. It is a common sense and morality issue. The homosexual lifestyle is always disordered.

 

[Sapphiregirl]

State your evidence. Without evidence, or a decent logical argument that doesn’t appeal to your religious beliefs, I do not agree.

 

[Rhuarc]

Well I think that it is best to call it how it is. Frame the discussion like this, gay men try to switch their parenting roles. A dad wants to be a mom and a mom wants to be a dad. Tell her that this isn’t how it is supposed to be and is not how God intended it to work out. The thing is to make it clear that it is wrong otherwise she may get a false perception and it may be bad later on down the road.

PS
Don’t forget though to tell her that it is not ok to hate a person because they are different. Sort of like hate the sin not the sinner (but don’t forget to tell the sinner it is a sin and that they should fix themselves…).

 

[Sapphiregirl]

Yes, this all seems very healthy for a 7 year old to hear.

“Sweetie, your father is a great guy, but he’s going to hell and his lifestyle is an abomination. Make sure he to tell him he needs to change his ways. Oh, and tell him not to eat shellfish.”

 

[SwizzleStick]

State your evidence. Without evidence, or a decent logical argument that doesn’t appeal to your religious beliefs, I do not agree.

Not to hijack the thread any further but natural law and common sense indicate that homosexual acts are disordered because the correct ordering of sexuality is procreation. Homosexual acts are, therefore, disordered.

(See other threads to see why infertile couples (who can actually have intercourse) don’t need to be discussed yet again.)

 

[Sapphiregirl]

Read “Sex at Dawn”, it pretty much debunks human sexuality being centered around procreation. Human sexuality is much more about socialization than procreation, as evident by the fact that we are sexually active while not fertile, unlike many of our close relatives.

 

[SwizzleStick]

Read “Sex at Dawn”, it pretty much debunks human sexuality being centered around procreation. Human sexuality is much more about socialization than procreation, as evident by the fact that we are sexually active while not fertile, unlike many of our close relatives.

No thanks. Again, not to hijack the thread, but the book was criticized for “biased reporting of data, theoretical and evidentiary shortcomings, and problematic assumptions” in a book review by Ryan Ellsworth in the journal “Evolutionary Psychology,” a peer-reviewed academic journal.

www.epjournal.net/wp-content/uploads/EP093253352.pdf

 

[epan]

Wow… y’all are seriously suggesting that this woman work to sever her daughter’s relationship with her father for no other reason than that he dates men… Wow…

… and what if the girl is a lesbian? How would that play out once she hits adolescence? One does hear the horror stories of parents who bash gays without realizing that they have a gay child. This issue must be dealt with sensitively. Also, the mom has no right to undermine the daughter’s relationship with her dad, even though she finds this to be a difficult situation, and that she does not share his values.

 

[TheRealJuliane]

This is a religious issue because your religion calls the relationship disordered. Not everyone sees it as disordered.

I personally see the whole concept of Annulment as very disordered. You don’t see me trying to ban it, and keep people who have had annulments away from their kids.

Forum rule:

Non-Catholics are welcome to participate but must be respectful of the faith of the Catholics participating on the board.

I am letting you know that you must be respectful of our faith or you are violating forum rules.

 

[BlueEyedLady]

… and what if the girl is a lesbian? How would that play out once she hits adolescence? One does hear the horror stories of parents who bash gays without realizing that they have a gay child. This issue must be dealt with sensitively. Also, the mom has no right to undermine the daughter’s relationship with her dad, even though she finds this to be a difficult situation, and that she does not share his values.

Or what happens when the girl makes any life choices contrary to her mom’s? I have a very good friend who was raised protestant but converted to Mormonism her senior year of high school. It really hurt and upset her family. But who did she turn to? Her gay father. He knew what it was like to be disapproved of by the family. Interestingly enough he is pretty anti Mormon, and she believes that homosexuality is a serious sin. But he is the person who she is closest to in the world. (Next to her new husband, of course). But they really know how to love and accept each other, even when it’s hard.

 

[seeking_light]

my uncle has alway been gay but we (the children) wernt aware of it untill he sent a christmas card from uncle graeme and aunty nathan. my youngest sister was 5 at the time. my midle sister was 8 and i was11. of the 3 of us only my midlle sister has gone of the religiouce track. not that i am blaming my uncle rather the different explanations my mum gave us. My mums anger at the card was obviouce she burnt it in front of us and told us all that uncle greame was wrong for sending it but he didnt know it was wrong he just thought it was funny. she then invited my uncle to stay for the week sans partner so that we could see that he was still normal and that she still loved him. the 3 discusions when he left went something likethis. i was deemed old enough and given the facts of life . for the youngest it was, sometimes people get verry lonly and whene they are lonly they can make strange dicisions. all people are made with a bit of wrong because if we didnt have a bit of wrong we would be angels. uncle greames bit of wrong is that he dosnt like girls in a mumy dady kind of way, so when he gets lonly he starts living with boys insted . its not uncle greames fault that he dose this wrong he cant help it . but he should never do mummy dady things with his boyfriends no matter howmuch he wants to. this love of uncle greame but not his wrong was renforced by visits. each boyfriend (in 18 years he has only had 3) was introduced at my parenst house (so that they could answer questions after) and then we could go over for the weekends. my uncle for his part never did more than kisses on the cheek infront of us whilst we still huged and kissed uncle greame goodbye we only ever shook hands with the friend. this renforced the love the siner but not the sin approach. one thing i would warn against is blaming dad for his sin we are all imperfect, for my midle sister my mum went down the road of helfire and damnation. please dont do this my sister has cut us out of her life for being “religiouce bigots” wich is untrue if we were religiouce biggots why did my mum let us stay with uncle and friend?

 

[seeking_light]

with regards to the ban on entering the bedroom when at my uncles there was a knock and wait system. unless there was a tiger in the room the house was on fire or one of us was dying we wernt allowed to go straight in we had to knock on the door and wait to be let in . on the few times i went in my uncle had a sleeping bag on the floor next to the bed looking back at memories i dont think it was ever slept in as it was to neet but having the sleeping bag there ment that we didnt question why they were in the same room as children it was obviouce uncle greames friend was sleeping in the sleeping bag because we were staying in his room.