Need Advice: How to get Ushers off my back

  • Thread starter Thread starter Denise_Shae
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My family went to a newly founded parish when I was in high school (early 1990’s). The priest did not have ushers directing people to communion. He told everyone to just get up when they were ready to receive. After a few months, the lines worked just like we had ushers with one row right after another going.

On the other hand, My wife and I made a trip to Italy and The Vatican last September and went to several Masses in many different churches. All of them that we went to practiced this method of getting up randomly and there was no ill affect.
 
A note to your pastor making him aware of the ushers’ zeal might help. I suspect few priests ever discuss such matters with their ushers and simply let them make their own rules. Then these things become established practice because no one wants to be seen as grumpy or complaining.
 
Karin said:
Ushers …what are those?
Our church does not have those…we all seem to manage to get up at the right time to stand on line for Communion with out guidance or help from anybody
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At a church I went to in Mexico, everyone just rushed to the front for Communion! It was unorganized, but everyone received.
–KCT
 
KCT said:
At a church I went to in Mexico, everyone just rushed to the front for Communion! It was unorganized, but everyone received.
–KCT
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LOL!!!
Well that is not the case at our Parish.
No rushing no shoving no pulling …it is all very calm, quiet and peaceful.🙂 👍
 
Dear Denise Shae,

You’re not alone when it comes to experiencing unwanted attention from pushy ushers. The behavior of the ushers in my last parish is one reason why I left. Not the only reason, but it factored in. I brought it up to the main usher involved, but that only made things worse. And I know what you mean about hating to bring it up to the priest … it just feels like a strange thing to talk about.

Sitting in the middle was not an option for me because since I was one of the very few who knelt after Communion, I had to make sure I was on an end which would allow me to lower the kneeler without banging into the standing people’s knees or getting into an arm-wrestling situation as to whether the kneeler remained up or down (yes, that actually happened, two parishes ago).

In my new parish, there are no ushers, and people are much more polite. There’s no pushing, shoving, banging around, or circus antics involving kneelers. Changing parishes worked for me … and the sermons and level of reverence towards the Eucharist are far superior at the new parish as well, which of course won my heart immediately as being of utmost importance!

Also, instead of pushy ushers foisting themselves upon you as greeters at the door, one or two priests act as greeters before Mass. And these are courteous priests who do not impose themselves on anyone … If you choose to enter the Church quietly and without fanfare, you are treated with respect.

If you choose to stay where you are, it sounds as though you’ll have plenty of opportunity to practice patience, penance, and maybe even speaking to the priest if it comes to it.

God bless you in your circumstances, or lead you to better circumstances! 🙂

~~ the phoenix
 
If it were me, I would just ignore them and get up when it is time. If the usher does not like it, that is their problem not yours.

PF
 
Chicago:
Of course, you could always tap them back. “No, YOU’RE it!”
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That’s good. 😃 You caught me off guard w/that one.

Thanks for the quip. My kids love it, and I’m still laughing!

God Belss you!

In His Most Sacred ❤️,

Denise
 
I thought of something in my case. It could be the Usher’s unfortunate luck to hit a certain part of my neck/shoulder area. I have a nerve cluster there from an old muscle injury that, if touched in the right way, could cause the usher to get wacked from the involuntary reaction (extreme pain and muscle reflex). :eek:

Of course, where, I sit, that side is exposed to the aisle :o

PF
 
We don’t have ushers during the sunday masses either and everyone seems to do fine. During the week we have school children who usher and try to keep things orderly.

I know a non-Catholic friend who thought the way we go to Communion was the most disorganized she had ever seen:eek: …but I think we do perfectly well…

:heart:Blyss
 
KCT said:
At a church I went to in Mexico, everyone just rushed to the front for Communion! It was unorganized, but everyone received.
–KCT
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One of my local churches is the same - often the line has formed even before the poor priest has communicated himself or given communion to the EMsHC … the first time I saw it I was :bigyikes:
 
You are not required to receive at every Mass. Why don’t you opt not to receive the Sacrament at Mass some Sunday, and then see what they do? If they make a fuss at your or shine a figurative spotlight on you, call 'em on it.
 
If you like sitting on the end because you feel claustraphobic in the middle, why not sit on the outside end, away from those who are “ushed?”

Another solution might be to stand up, or sit back to let others pass, real early, long before the usher is about to tap. If you need more time in prayer, just sit farther back.
 
Denise_Shae said:
Well, here’s the thing: It’s a large Church. It has several rows of pews. Ushers go to the front at the beginning of Holy Communion and start prompting people from the first pew on back to the last.

This is not something that my pastor or his parochial vicar are unaware of, and it’s been done for several years, now.

I’m afraid that if I say anything to my pastor, I’d be the only one complaining about it, because no one else seems to mind.
I don’t want to be labled as a “trouble-maker”.

Thanks and God Bless!

In His Most Sacred ❤️,

Denise
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Denise:

You don’t know if no one if no one has complained about it or not. the only think you know is that you haven’t heard about any other camplaints. That’s pretty normal for large parishes, where most people don’t know each other and don’t know how others feel about it.

The ushers in my parish let parishioners know when it is their turn to go to communion by standing just in back of their pews. I’ve never seen any of them touch anyone in order to let him or her know that “it was his or her turn”.

I see no reason for the usher to touch you or any other parishioner to prompt you or anyone else to move forward, and I see no reason for anyone to be called a “troublemaker” for objecting to the practice.

The Church isn’t a factory for processing communicants or whatever in the most efficient way possible, It’s a hospital for wounded and damaged souls. Because of that, we have to be sensistive to the legitimate needs of people who may have concerns such as the ones voiced by you in your OP.

What you might want to do is to talk to one otf the ushers, just saying that you would rather the usher stand behind the pew as I described in the second paragraph rather than touch you when it was time to let you know that it was your turn to go to receive communion.

Your Brother in Christ, Michael
 
Denise_Shae said:
Chicago:
That’s good. 😃 You caught me off guard w/that one.

Thanks for the quip. My kids love it, and I’m still laughing!

God Belss you!

In His Most Sacred ❤️,

Denise
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Of course, if you want to pre-emptively strike, you could recoil and hollar (before they touch you) “ewwww, cooties!”
 
LilyM said:
One of my local churches is the same - often the line has formed even before the poor priest has communicated himself or given communion to the EMsHC … the first time I saw it I was :bigyikes:
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At my old Parish, right before Communion began, every one shifted and bunched up right at the end of the pew…like race horses ready to take off from the gates. We stood before Communion by the way, would look very goofy if people were on their knees shuffling down the kneelers. 😃
 
As an usher for many years, I can’t recall touching anyone unless they were disabled and asked for assistance. Yes, it was sometimes necessary to gently guide a wandering child back to a worried parent:o .
 
I would take the opportunity to offer it up for souls.

For example, my kids are always leaving the door open. I was getting more and more angry yelling at them to shut the door. Then, one day I decided to offer up every open door. It was so wonderful.

If you offer that moment up, I think God would be so pleased, maybe even more than if you finished the prayer. Didn’t St Therese put her pen down midstroke when the bell rang for Chapel?
 
I don’t know about your parish, but at mine the people begin to file out of the pews on the right, so the last person to leave a particular row is seated on the far left.

Why not take the aisle seat on the left side of the pew? That way, you’ll always be the last person to get up no one will be prompting you. 👍
 
Teakafrog said:
If you’re not receiving, you don’t have to sit in the pew. You can still get up and follow in the line just to get a blessing. Just cross your arms in front of you and bow your head. Don’t receive.

As for tapping ushers… If you don’t like sitting in the middle of the pew, sit at the opposite end. No ushers there.
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One really can only get a blessing from a priest. Laymen cannot bless other laymen. That means that Extraordinary ministers can’t bless people. The only things laymen can bless are their meals, and parents can bless their children. That being said, I always just sit in my pew to not receive if I’m not in a state of grace.
 
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