When a husband wants to have sex, it can be for love. He might also be using his spouse. The desire for sex can come from either motive. Nobody responding to this thread has said that all married sex comes from love. That question wasn’t asked.
But since we are in that love/marriage/sex area, it seems only right to bring it up.
When an unmarried person pressures a woman to have sex who has made it clear she wants to wait until marriage, when he says he will leave her without it, that’s using her. He can wait until he marries her. If he doesn’t plan to marry her, it’s time he leaves her. Nobody said his desire for sex is what makes it “using her.”
Don’t married men also leave their women when they repeatedly get denied from having sex? In fact I believe it’s grounds for divorce in the church, it’s the same thing actually, just a different uniform. Not difficult to pick it up, try again.
In threatening to leave, he’s telling her it’s more important for him to have sex than to be with her. I wonder how long he’d stay with her if she was ever in a position where she was unable to have sex anymore. Not that it matters; if he can’t live without sex but can live without Patsi, it’s not love.
Happens all the time in Catholic marriages too, so what’s your point?
Now you’re assuming that having sex guarantees he’ll marry her. You’re also assuming that this marriage is a good thing. It’s just as possible that 1) the marriage will never happen, but she’ll be missing out on a great guy while staying with this one longer, and 2) they will be unhappily married. He’s proving he can be manipulative.
He can marry her if she’s as important to him as sex is.
I said nothing of the sort, neither did I imply it, so I don’t know where you pulled this one out from. I never assumed any of it, if anything, the different scenarios would be different possibilities that could happen. However the whole tone of most of the responses here are that of generalized assumptions, especially in reference to this guy, see some:
“drop him like a hot potato”
This is arm-chair analytics at it’s finest. Honestly, I think some of you would jump at the chance to be a counsellor without a license, because you all feel qualified for it.
I don’t deny those possibilities you put forth, but then again, I’m not worrying about it because we don’t know him. What we do know is that they are both in a relationship, she is attached to him, and he to her, him asking for sex doesn’t mean he’s perverse or using her, perhaps because he’s atheist he sees things differently, have any of you considered that point?
His understanding is different, this is where your assumptions have been running in quicker than a recruit late for a parade night.
Fail, try again.
