Need help lighting the fire in Confirmandi

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stbruno

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Something is afoot in our parish this year that is quite disturbing. We have a crisis in our 7th graders who are preparing for Confirmation, both in our parochial school and religious educ.program.

Among the requirements of those seeking Confirmation, journaling of Sunday homilies throughout the liturgical seasons up until Confirmation day, as well service hours are to be performed and also individual family meetings with the pastor. Nearly half of the families are not fulfilling these requirements…and have no concern to do so. Their lack of interest has totally mystified us this year. In the past, we might have one or two children who have balked the preparation or fell short of it…but we are seriously considering postponing Confirmation for those who are not taking this preparation seriously.
But we wonder if that is even a viable option. We really need some prayers as well as ideas that might jolt these families into realizing the importance and value of this Holy Sacrament.

If anyone has any suggestions, we are very grateful and open!
 
in the first place you can’t place demands on the candidates and families that are above and beyond the requirements of the diocese, so make sure your program is in conformity, and make sure the parents know, in writing, what the requirements are at the time of registration, which should be in person (no guarantee you will even get them to come to the first parent meeting).

I can’t tell you what’s going on but it must be something in the water. more than half our first communion candidates did not make first confession, because their parents did not show up for the parent meetings and preparation sessions.

We have a raft of confirmation candidates who sign up for the service projects planned by the parish, but only one or two who ever show up for each event. yet diocesan law says we cannot deny any child the sacrament who is of age and “properly disposed”. aw, I am so disgusted I don’t even want to go there. We have had 3 meetings for Confirmation parents and fewer than half the parents have attended. Yet their kids keep coming to class. Why? they get no support from home, yet they are participating, and eagerly. This is in contrast to some of the kids from “good” families, whose parents do come, yet the kids attitudes range from grudging attendance to downright obstinance and trouble-making. If I had answers I would give them but I don’t.
 
Don’t make so many demands on them, give them the Sacrament and let God do the rest.
 
az_4_faith said:
Don’t make so many demands on them, give them the Sacrament and let God do the rest.
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not my call, the diocese sets the requirements, in the particular law of the diocese, which is the application of canon law for the sacraments. Believe me I am not eager to make my job tougher by adding requirements that aren’t there, but neither the kids nor the parents seem willing to even make a pretense of fulfilling even the minimal requirements. C students, an attitude that prevails in this matter will prevail throughout other areas of life which require honesty, hard work and commitment, only it may take a while before the penny drops and they get the message. Very sad.
 
stbruno said:
Something is afoot in our parish this year that is quite disturbing. We have a crisis in our 7th graders who are preparing for Confirmation, both in our parochial school and religious educ.program.

Among the requirements of those seeking Confirmation, journaling of Sunday homilies throughout the liturgical seasons up until Confirmation day, as well service hours are to be performed and also individual family meetings with the pastor. Nearly half of the families are not fulfilling these requirements…and have no concern to do so. Their lack of interest has totally mystified us this year. In the past, we might have one or two children who have balked the preparation or fell short of it…but we are seriously considering postponing Confirmation for those who are not taking this preparation seriously.
But we wonder if that is even a viable option. We really need some prayers as well as ideas that might jolt these families into realizing the importance and value of this Holy Sacrament.

If anyone has any suggestions, we are very grateful and open!
Click to expand...
There was a similar situation several years ago that I heard about. It however was very simple. The CCD Program was heavily liberal in orientation and quite a few of the families basically revolted when it was learned that the class had never been taught any prayers at all, violation of the Diocesan policy, but rather had been taught meditation. They also had not been taught what the Sacraments were or that there were seven of them for that matter. They were taught about social justice and the plight of refugees however and the need for community involvement against oppression in whatever form.👍 …

It eventually led to a re-organization of the CCD Program and replacing the DRE at the involved Parish. Not saying that is the case at your Parish at all, but it could be as something that simple. The parents don’t agree with what or how the kids are being taught.

Of course the parents just might not give a flip either, which is certainly possible these days.

Rest assured of the prayers of many in this regard.

Merry Christmas
 
Our program is in full compliance with the diocese. And we are directly in line with the magisterium…but you are right, the parents don’t give a flip, and that dribbles down to the kids in spades. But at some point in their life, they need to make a decision, because their parents have avoided making any for years and years…even to the point of getting married. More and more of our kids are in single parent or from cohabitating parents rather than sacramentally married parents.

Let’s pray very hard together!
 
I wish I had a solution for you, but I don’t. As a school teacher, I see the same lack of work-ethic in both some of my students and their families. The parents want their kids to get good grades, but complain when the students get “too much” homework! They want their children to be A students, but refuse to help them to do what is necessary to LEARN and get these good grades! Everyone wants something for nothing, or very little any more. It is really disheartening at times.
 
stbruno said:
Something is afoot in our parish this year that is quite disturbing. We have a crisis in our 7th graders who are preparing for Confirmation, both in our parochial school and religious educ.program.

Among the requirements of those seeking Confirmation, journaling of Sunday homilies throughout the liturgical seasons up until Confirmation day, as well service hours are to be performed and also individual family meetings with the pastor. Nearly half of the families are not fulfilling these requirements…and have no concern to do so. Their lack of interest has totally mystified us this year. In the past, we might have one or two children who have balked the preparation or fell short of it…but we are seriously considering postponing Confirmation for those who are not taking this preparation seriously.
But we wonder if that is even a viable option. We really need some prayers as well as ideas that might jolt these families into realizing the importance and value of this Holy Sacrament.

If anyone has any suggestions, we are very grateful and open!
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Yeah, I have one. Stop all this extraneous garbage. Journals have ZIP to do with Confirmation. Sevice hours, likewise. The sacrament is being demeaned by making this sort of stuff a requirement (assuming it’s not outright sacreligious!).

Like Baptism, Confirmation does not in any way require this sort of stuff. The Eastern Rites confirm at Baptism. What level of catechesis is being given when those doing it are deficient? God help us all.
 
puzzleannie said:
not my call, the diocese sets the requirements, in the particular law of the diocese, which is the application of canon law for the sacraments. Believe me I am not eager to make my job tougher by adding requirements that aren’t there, but neither the kids nor the parents seem willing to even make a pretense of fulfilling even the minimal requirements. C students, an attitude that prevails in this matter will prevail throughout other areas of life which require honesty, hard work and commitment, only it may take a while before the penny drops and they get the message. Very sad.
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What’s very sad is that your diocese, like many others, has got the whole thing messed up with this sort of stuff. You’d think it was like joining a club. What a travesty.

God knows good journaling makes for good Catholics!! Yikes. No wonder the American Church is in trouble with Bishops mandating such stuff.
 
Perhaps what you should do is the following:
  1. Sit down individually with each confirmand and ask: Do you want to be confirmed in the Catholic Church?
  2. Do you understand what that means? Have them explain. Correct if wrong. Ask again with defintion. Include here the gifts of the Holy Spirit.
  3. Ask the Baptismal questions - explain any questions.
  4. Ask if they believe in the True Presence - explain any questions.
  5. Ask do they believe in the Marian Dogmas - explain any questions.
  6. Ask if they are willing to practice the faith - attend Mass as required, go to confession, avoid the near occaision of sin to the best of their ability, evangelize by their life and words to the best of their ability - to serve the poor, visit the sick and imprisoned, etc.
  7. Ask if they know the 7 Deadly sins and related virtues? If not tell them. Ask if they understand. If not explain.
  8. Ask again at the end, if they are willing to freely chose for themselves Confirmation.
If all the above is OK - then tell the Bishop that they have complied and are ready.
 
johnnykins said:
Perhaps what you should do is the following:
  1. Sit down individually with each confirmand and ask: Do you want to be confirmed in the Catholic Church?
  2. Do you understand what that means? Have them explain. Correct if wrong. Ask again with defintion. Include here the gifts of the Holy Spirit.
  3. Ask the Baptismal questions - explain any questions.
  4. Ask if they believe in the True Presence - explain any questions.
  5. Ask do they believe in the Marian Dogmas - explain any questions.
  6. Ask if they are willing to practice the faith - attend Mass as required, go to confession, avoid the near occaision of sin to the best of their ability, evangelize by their life and words to the best of their ability - to serve the poor, visit the sick and imprisoned, etc.
  7. Ask if they know the 7 Deadly sins and related virtues? If not tell them. Ask if they understand. If not explain.
  8. Ask again at the end, if they are willing to freely chose for themselves Confirmation.
If all the above is OK - then tell the Bishop that they have complied and are ready.
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Maybe your’re right. I just don’t know anymore.
 
Back in 1963 when we made our Comfirmation, our preparation was to memorize the questions and answers to the Baltimore Catechism
(sacred-texts.com/chr/balt/ ). The Bishop would ask the questions and we were expected to know the answers and we did!
 
johnnykins said:
Perhaps what you should do is the following:
  1. Sit down individually with each confirmand and ask: Do you want to be confirmed in the Catholic Church?
  2. Do you understand what that means? Have them explain. Correct if wrong. Ask again with defintion. Include here the gifts of the Holy Spirit.
  3. Ask the Baptismal questions - explain any questions.
  4. Ask if they believe in the True Presence - explain any questions.
  5. Ask do they believe in the Marian Dogmas - explain any questions.
  6. Ask if they are willing to practice the faith - attend Mass as required, go to confession, avoid the near occaision of sin to the best of their ability, evangelize by their life and words to the best of their ability - to serve the poor, visit the sick and imprisoned, etc.
  7. Ask if they know the 7 Deadly sins and related virtues? If not tell them. Ask if they understand. If not explain.
  8. Ask again at the end, if they are willing to freely chose for themselves Confirmation.
If all the above is OK - then tell the Bishop that they have complied and are ready.
Click to expand...
Alleluia, Praise the Lord, finally somebody gets it!

We have put way too many obstacles in front of this sacrament!

And that’s why we have so many going through life without the Gift and Grace of the Holy Spirit!

In Phoenix, Bishop Olmsted lowered the age to third grade, to be done concurrently with First Holy Communion. There is still some preparation, but at least no one has to go on those silly retreats anymore, and the older kids don’t have to give up an entire year or two of Sundays to go to class!

Just when did we get it in our minds that we have to micro-manage God’s gifts?!
 
mommyof4 said:
I wish I had a solution for you, but I don’t. As a school teacher, I see the same lack of work-ethic in both some of my students and their families. The parents want their kids to get good grades, but complain when the students get “too much” homework! They want their children to be A students, but refuse to help them to do what is necessary to LEARN and get these good grades! Everyone wants something for nothing, or very little any more. It is really disheartening at times.
Click to expand...
Actually as Catholics we believe that justification is a gift from God - something for nothing - a matter of pure Grace. This gift calls us to cooperate with God in His salvific plan. Confirmation is NOT a pedigogical exercise per se. The Roman Rite has determined that it is prudent to administer Confirmation to those baptised as infants later so as to allow such individuals to personally ask for confirmation as adults demonstraing at that time a mature understanding of the faith. This separation of Baptism and Confirmation is a PRUDENTIAL judgment. The Eastern Rites administer them together with the usual affirmation of Baptismal faith by the godparents. To require journals is assinine - if not sacreligious. If a kid isn’t attending Mass - that is a cause for concern. But talk with him/her. Maybe treating them and the faith as adults would be a great thing rather than treating them like school children with a project due.
 
I have three children one already went through the process of Confirmation classes and my second child is in her first year. I see a problem for my son who will be going through this process in the coming years. This process must be changed! My oldest went to the classes begrudgingly every month and was Confirmed. She told me that most of the children in her Confirmation class decided that after they are confirmed they will not attend mass anymore. I told my daughter that will not happen to her and she does go with us to mass every Sunday.
I think children who are entering into this Sacrament should definitely understand the purpose and meaning of it. I think we as parents make them do this sacrament without telling them how important this sacrament is. I also find that the teachers who teach them allow them to make a decision. I was told by my two when they first came back from their first meeting was “I don’t have to do this if I don’t want”. Please don’t do this to parents. We are sending them to receive this grace, why rock the boat by planting seeds in their heads. I don’t need to have my children come home rebelling and telling me I have a choice. They don’t have a choice to go to mass and they certainly don’t have a choice to not receive this sacrament.
 
johnnykins said:
Perhaps what you should do is the following:
  1. Sit down individually with each confirmand and ask: Do you want to be confirmed in the Catholic Church?.
Click to expand...
an interview such as you describe is a requirement for Confirmation (and for RCIA by the way) in this diocese. Since the pastor has neither the time nor the inclination to do this, that means I have from after Christmas when class resumes to end of Lent to do these interviews 60-75 youth, 14-25 adults, myself. How much time do you think I will be giving to each candidate?
 
johnnykins said:
Actually as Catholics we believe that justification is a gift from God - something for nothing - a matter of pure Grace. This gift calls us to cooperate with God in His salvific plan. Confirmation is NOT a pedigogical exercise per se. The Roman Rite has determined that it is prudent to administer Confirmation to those baptised as infants later so as to allow such individuals to personally ask for confirmation as adults demonstraing at that time a mature understanding of the faith. This separation of Baptism and Confirmation is a PRUDENTIAL judgment. The Eastern Rites administer them together with the usual affirmation of Baptismal faith by the godparents. To require journals is assinine - if not sacreligious. If a kid isn’t attending Mass - that is a cause for concern. But talk with him/her. Maybe treating them and the faith as adults would be a great thing rather than treating them like school children with a project due.
Click to expand...
You are probably right about God’s grace being a free gift. I never looked at it that way. I guess I need to separate my academic part of my mind from my spiritual one.
 
puzzleannie said:
an interview such as you describe is a requirement for Confirmation (and for RCIA by the way) in this diocese. Since the pastor has neither the time nor the inclination to do this, that means I have from after Christmas when class resumes to end of Lent to do these interviews 60-75 youth, 14-25 adults, myself. How much time do you think I will be giving to each candidate?
Click to expand...
I’d much rather help you do these kinds of one-on-one interviews than checking journals every week and going to silly retreats (or sitting around on pillows and “making testimonies” in candlelight).
 
puzzleannie said:
an interview such as you describe is a requirement for Confirmation (and for RCIA by the way) in this diocese. Since the pastor has neither the time nor the inclination to do this, that means I have from after Christmas when class resumes to end of Lent to do these interviews 60-75 youth, 14-25 adults, myself. How much time do you think I will be giving to each candidate?
Click to expand...
Send a few up north to me and I’ll help you!😃
 
puzzleannie said:
an interview such as you describe is a requirement for Confirmation (and for RCIA by the way) in this diocese. Since the pastor has neither the time nor the inclination to do this, that means I have from after Christmas when class resumes to end of Lent to do these interviews 60-75 youth, 14-25 adults, myself. How much time do you think I will be giving to each candidate?
Click to expand...
Does you diocese direct that you, only you, conduct the interview? Can you seek assistance from some parish members or CCD teachers? Deacons? Sometimes when we own a program we do not seek solutions to help ourselves; we become attached to the process and are unwilling to let go. Seek assistance.
 
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