C
cymonk
Guest
I am so sorry for your situation. Below, I started trying to make a point and then it kinda rolled into a bunch of ideas, and finally it ended up sounding like a crazy idea altogether. But hopefully it might still be helpful to you. I know I have already mentioned some of this, so sorry if I am repeating. And I repeat some things in this post itself. I am just trying to put out various ideas to help you and I don’t feel I have been expressing my point well. You’ll have to excuse me, since I am a man n all.
Judging from when I was lost with my sexuality… It will be very hard to change his heart. Like you said, it did not even phase him. Just as the idea of giving up porn did not even phase me. His conscience is not formed. God takes a big part in this, so pray as if it were all him.
In the mean time, be honest about how you feel inside about things. I really don’t think any amount of saying “Do it because the church says so” is going to work. He would need to have a lot deeper trust of the church to have that work. (This may be something to encourage him with by asking him to attend retreats n such, but it may take a long time.)
One main weapon God gives you (besides faith) is your husband’s love for you. When you love someone, you do not want to hurt them. This is why I gave up looking at magazines… for the love of a woman. It was a long hard road to get myself to believe (2 years), but I assure you I believe it fully now. To be honest in my case, it did not happen because I felt over whelming love for her and just wanted to do it, but rather because she would have left if I did not. But this is also before my showed me what an overwhelming love can do to me. I do believe that this way would work as well but it will call for a lot from you (all replaced by God). First I suggest you let him know there is a call.
So I mentioned in my suggestion earlier to be honest with letting him know that it hurts you. Even if his conscience does not feel it, yours does. Eventually he will catch on that something is wrong with what you are both doing. You can not ‘make love’ purely if you are being hurt each time. He may not bend because of the church… but he may be willing to try it if he knows it will make you happier.
The second part of this is making him feel like loving you. The natural response to someone loving you is to love them back. So love him. This is the crazy part… go above and beyond for him in every other way. Make him the center of everything. For help on this, I would definitely suggest reading “The Five Love Languages” by Gary Chapman. Pray and channel all God’s love you can to your husband. He will give you strength. Do not expect an immediate result. Do not say that you are doing it in exchange for getting what you want. Just love as hard as you can as a response to God loving you. This is a part of my relationships I missed up until my wife showed me how.
Ideas: If you ask for a period of “fasting” during lent as a Christmas present, then as a birthday present, then as a ‘sweetest day’ present, then as an anniversary present, he will get the point, even if you are not allowed to mention it on a regular basis. Or for that matter, even if you ask for the gift, “Please pray about the idea of fasting it for 40 days.” If he REALLY doesn’t want you to talk about ‘nfp’ then when he comes to ask about what you want for your birthday, be hesitant to tell him… “It is something that you don’t want to talk about.” The point will get across in a husband ‘safe’ manner.
In this way, you are not bugging him, but he will know that there is nothing else more important to you. Additionally, it is appealing to his love for you. You are not using the authority of the church. You are being real about what it is doing to the inside of you. Men are meant to sacrifice, even if they wont for the church because they are blinded, they likely will for love.
Another idea… I have heard from several women how much of a light blogging can be to others. My wife’s blog has really helped her with our struggles with infertility. It connected her to others going through the same thing. (Giving her both support and an outlet) This is a common issue, there is likely some really good/helpful blogs out there. In addition, might be a good idea for you to start one of your own.
Take faith and keep praying… It is important to use God as your source of strength and hope. This issue could take 20 years to sort out. The important thing is your encounter with God through it all. (Yeah I know it may sound crazy to do for 20 years but through this manner of living, you will grow a lot closer to God, which is really the whole point).
Okies… enough rambling/blurting/spewing on this post.
God Bless you and your marriage.
Cymonk
Judging from when I was lost with my sexuality… It will be very hard to change his heart. Like you said, it did not even phase him. Just as the idea of giving up porn did not even phase me. His conscience is not formed. God takes a big part in this, so pray as if it were all him.
In the mean time, be honest about how you feel inside about things. I really don’t think any amount of saying “Do it because the church says so” is going to work. He would need to have a lot deeper trust of the church to have that work. (This may be something to encourage him with by asking him to attend retreats n such, but it may take a long time.)
One main weapon God gives you (besides faith) is your husband’s love for you. When you love someone, you do not want to hurt them. This is why I gave up looking at magazines… for the love of a woman. It was a long hard road to get myself to believe (2 years), but I assure you I believe it fully now. To be honest in my case, it did not happen because I felt over whelming love for her and just wanted to do it, but rather because she would have left if I did not. But this is also before my showed me what an overwhelming love can do to me. I do believe that this way would work as well but it will call for a lot from you (all replaced by God). First I suggest you let him know there is a call.
So I mentioned in my suggestion earlier to be honest with letting him know that it hurts you. Even if his conscience does not feel it, yours does. Eventually he will catch on that something is wrong with what you are both doing. You can not ‘make love’ purely if you are being hurt each time. He may not bend because of the church… but he may be willing to try it if he knows it will make you happier.
The second part of this is making him feel like loving you. The natural response to someone loving you is to love them back. So love him. This is the crazy part… go above and beyond for him in every other way. Make him the center of everything. For help on this, I would definitely suggest reading “The Five Love Languages” by Gary Chapman. Pray and channel all God’s love you can to your husband. He will give you strength. Do not expect an immediate result. Do not say that you are doing it in exchange for getting what you want. Just love as hard as you can as a response to God loving you. This is a part of my relationships I missed up until my wife showed me how.
Ideas: If you ask for a period of “fasting” during lent as a Christmas present, then as a birthday present, then as a ‘sweetest day’ present, then as an anniversary present, he will get the point, even if you are not allowed to mention it on a regular basis. Or for that matter, even if you ask for the gift, “Please pray about the idea of fasting it for 40 days.” If he REALLY doesn’t want you to talk about ‘nfp’ then when he comes to ask about what you want for your birthday, be hesitant to tell him… “It is something that you don’t want to talk about.” The point will get across in a husband ‘safe’ manner.
In this way, you are not bugging him, but he will know that there is nothing else more important to you. Additionally, it is appealing to his love for you. You are not using the authority of the church. You are being real about what it is doing to the inside of you. Men are meant to sacrifice, even if they wont for the church because they are blinded, they likely will for love.
Another idea… I have heard from several women how much of a light blogging can be to others. My wife’s blog has really helped her with our struggles with infertility. It connected her to others going through the same thing. (Giving her both support and an outlet) This is a common issue, there is likely some really good/helpful blogs out there. In addition, might be a good idea for you to start one of your own.
Take faith and keep praying… It is important to use God as your source of strength and hope. This issue could take 20 years to sort out. The important thing is your encounter with God through it all. (Yeah I know it may sound crazy to do for 20 years but through this manner of living, you will grow a lot closer to God, which is really the whole point).
Okies… enough rambling/blurting/spewing on this post.
God Bless you and your marriage.
Cymonk