need help with confession

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peccator79

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I need to find a good priest who would hear my confession in the Chicago area (NW)… if you know of one, especially where an old fashion confessionals are in use I would appreciate it greatly. I haven’t confessed in many years. I’m in a very bad moment in my life and need someone to hear it all, patiently and in private as it makes me very emotional, even now at the mere thought of it. I need HIS help, I don’t think I’ll last long without it. I need help finding someone who will help me find HIM.
Would writing it all down and handing to the priest face to face be acceptable? I just can’t stop crying.
 
peccator79 said:
I need to find a good priest who would hear my confession in the Chicago area (NW)… if you know of one, especially where an old fashion confessionals are in use I would appreciate it greatly. I haven’t confessed in many years. I’m in a very bad moment in my life and need someone to hear it all, patiently and in private as it makes me very emotional, even now at the mere thought of it. I need HIS help, I don’t think I’ll last long without it. I need help finding someone who will help me find HIM.
Would writing it all down and handing to the priest face to face be acceptable? I just can’t stop crying.
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I don’t live in Chicago so I can’t help in referring you to a specific priest, but I will urge you to find one as soon as possible, and don’t worry about finding the “right one.” Jesus told us (through St. Faustina) that He is waiting for us in the confessional, that the priest is merely a screen and that He is there and wants to meet us there. The Holy Spirit seems to be prompting you to go, you just need to get there. (I hope someone can suggest a parish near you.) If you’re concerned about taking “too long,” you can always make an appointment (outside of the regularly scheduled times for confession) and the priest will meet you there (and it can still be anonymous).

As far as “writing it all down and handing it to the priest,” no, you can’t do it that way, but don’t fear. No matter the sins, the chances are that the priest has heard them all before, and remember, Jesus is there too and loves you no matter what. Go with a penitent heart and the outpouring of God’s grace will be amazing. :bowdown: ❤️

I’d also urge you to read St. Faustina’s Diary (see my signature on where you can get it/learn about the message of Divine Mercy). It has been such a blessing in my life, and I’m sure it will be for you too.

I’d also highly recommend listening to a talk by Fr. Larry Richards that you can get for free at www.CatholiCity.com. It’s simply called “Confession” and it’s great. 👍

God bless you! :hug1:
 
This website has great information to help you find a church. Go to masstimes.org or try this link: masstimes.org/dotnet/ShowChurches.aspx?type=CITYSTATERADIUS&q=&country=United+States+of+America&city=Chicago&countrycode=US&statecode=IL&filter=CONFESSION

When you go, and I encourage you to go soon, be sure to tell the priest it has been a while. Many of them will go through a list of possible sins with you to help you get caught up after a long lapse from the sacrament. You can bring in your written confession but you will need to read it.

You could also call one of the parishes and make an appointment for confession, many parishes encourage that. They should be able to guide you to a priest who will sit with you and give you the time you need. You’ll be able to find a traditional confessional but I also encourage you to consider face to face confession. Remember that the priest is acting as Jesus and you will feel His mercy when you can confess with sincere contrition. It is very healing.

You are doing the right thing by seeking confession with a priest. I will pray for you and so will others who read your post. I know God’s peace will be with you soon.
 
You need to do more than simply say ‘it’s been a while’, with all due respect. You need to give at least a rough estimate of how long (how many months/years it’s been).

Don’t worry about getting emotional. Most of the confessionals in the churches round here are well-stocked with boxes of tissues, so obviously it’s a fairly frequent occurrence that people cry during confession. I’m sure whichever priest you’re confessing to has seen and heard it all in terms of emotion and types of sin confessed as well.

But a written list is a good idea, for your own sake. Remember, though, you’re only obligated to confess mortal sins so it may be better not to turn your confession into a marathon list of minutiae and that you can leave the venial sins for your next confession.
 
I’m sorry to say I’m woefully ignorant of Chicago geography, but if at all possible, I would recommend that you make your confession at Our Lady of the Angels. This parish has been entrusted to the care of the priests of Opus Dei. These priests have a special charism to hear confessions. They are orthodox, well educated and very kind. They will help you sort out what is sinful and what is not, and they will be most welcoming and encouraging. Perhaps you could give a call to the rectory and make an appointment.

Betsy
 
peccator79, Please let us know how things work out for you. I prayed for you this morning and I’m sure others are as well.
 
peccator79 said:
I need to find a good priest who would hear my confession in the Chicago area (NW)… if you know of one, especially where an old fashion confessionals are in use I would appreciate it greatly. I haven’t confessed in many years. I’m in a very bad moment in my life and need someone to hear it all, patiently and in private as it makes me very emotional, even now at the mere thought of it. I need HIS help, I don’t think I’ll last long without it. I need help finding someone who will help me find HIM.
Would writing it all down and handing to the priest face to face be acceptable? I just can’t stop crying.
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You are very blessed to live in the Chicago area!!! There is a church on W. Madison near Wells called St. Peter in Chains, also known as St. Peter in the Loop. It is a mission of the Franciscans. In addition to the care of souls of Loop workers, and great care for the poor, and many programs, the friar-confessors hear confessions a total of 11.5 hours a day Monday through Friday, and 4.5 hours on Saturday. There are confessionals in the church proper, and they are staffed all day, into the evening. The friars are used to people coming back to the Lord, so it’s no big deal to take your time.

There is (or there was- I take Metra to get there) parking validation at the inquiry window in the narthex, along with requests for face-to-face if you should change your mind. It is also easily accesible by the L; right off Wells is a stop, then walk up (east) maybe 150 feet on Madison. Pink, Purple, Orange and Green Lines all run through it.

You cannot just hand the priest a list. The rubrics want an auricular confession, which means you have to speak your sins, and the priest has to hear them. But trust me, the friars are used to ths sort of thing.
 
Friends, thank you all, especially for the prayers. I have contacted a priest nearby and we’re trying to schedule a good time for later this week. And yes, I will write it all down and read it – I feel this will work the best for me. I realized I don’t really care about the confessional. It’s just how I remember it from the past. If I’ll have the strength to face my sins I should have the strength to look the priest in the eye. And yes, I will write it all down and read it – I feel this will work the best for me. I just hope I’ll stay strong and determined enough to see it through.
I have one more question though… can you tell me what is the confession formula in the English language? I know from the movies that first thing you say is “bless me father for I have sinned,” then how long it’s been since the last confession, then the sins, but what follows? What does one say at the end? Thank you again.
 
I would recommend Fr. Simon at St. Lambert in Skokie or Fr. Luczak at St. Isaac Jogues in Morton Grove I think, maybe Niles. Both are NW suburbs. St. Mary of the Angels is an Opus Dei parish that has a lot of times for confession.
 
I’ve always been a little embarrassed by bringing in my written list; when I went on Shrove Thursday (the Thursday before Lent begins) it must have been obvious to the priest behind the screen that I had a list and was reading. And he COMPLIMENTED me on having obviously thought about my confession before hand and had taken the time to prepare to make a complete one. I never thought of it that way; I went to do my penance feeling a bit lighter because of his comment.

(I am, however, always very careful to dispose of the list!)
 
Prior to making a good confession it is necessary to spend some prayerful time recollecting one’s sins. There are some very good check lists on-line to assist in this. I have often found that it helps to make a written list during this process or else inevitably I forget things.
 
peccator79 said:
I need to find a good priest who would hear my confession in the Chicago area (NW)
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Quick! Find ANY Priest! It is best not to include the clergy in any form of scrupulosity. All can absolve you equally of your sins. You risk dying in your sin by endeavoring to find the “perfect” Priest. He does not exist. They are all fallible, just as we are. They all go to confession, as does the Pope. If you must pick and choose, find a retired Priest as they, in my experience, have extremely loving hearts. Also, since they are retired, administering a Sacrament is a blessing not only to you, but to them. Do not delay. The Lord will never assign you more than you can bear, but He allows you to to do that to yourself, so that, when you finally collapse, you will cry out to him in desperation.

Don’t maintain your car better than your soul! Just confess it. The feeling of being absolved of sin is indescribable. And, the worse the sin, the more the sins, the longer since confessing, all the more grace will be given you. You will be the prodigal son returning to a Heavenly welcome home.

Christ’s peace be always with you.
 
peccator79 said:
Friends, thank you all, especially for the prayers. I have contacted a priest nearby and we’re trying to schedule a good time for later this week.
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Praise God!
I have one more question though… can you tell me what is the confession formula in the English language? I know from the movies that first thing you say is “bless me father for I have sinned,” then how long it’s been since the last confession, then the sins, but what follows? What does one say at the end? Thank you again.
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Many times, it will be the act of contrition. Pocket-sized cards that contain the act are probably available at the parish. You may read from it during confessions until it is internalized. May the Lord bless you with a soul-cleansing reconciliation.
 
peccator79 said:
Friends, thank you all, especially for the prayers. I have contacted a priest nearby and we’re trying to schedule a good time for later this week. And yes, I will write it all down and read it – I feel this will work the best for me. I realized I don’t really care about the confessional. It’s just how I remember it from the past. If I’ll have the strength to face my sins I should have the strength to look the priest in the eye. And yes, I will write it all down and read it – I feel this will work the best for me. I just hope I’ll stay strong and determined enough to see it through.
I have one more question though… can you tell me what is the confession formula in the English language? I know from the movies that first thing you say is “bless me father for I have sinned,” then how long it’s been since the last confession, then the sins, but what follows? What does one say at the end? Thank you again.
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It can go something like this. After you say how long it’s been, I say; these are my sins…then I confess all mortal sins first. After confessing all my sins I say something like; for these and all the sins of my life I am sorry.

At this time the Priest might ask questions or counsel, then he gives a penance. You make an act of contrition. The Priest absolves you. Make the sign of the cross.
 
peccator79 said:
Friends, thank you all, especially for the prayers. I have contacted a priest nearby and we’re trying to schedule a good time for later this week. And yes, I will write it all down and read it – I feel this will work the best for me. I realized I don’t really care about the confessional. It’s just how I remember it from the past. If I’ll have the strength to face my sins I should have the strength to look the priest in the eye. And yes, I will write it all down and read it – I feel this will work the best for me. I just hope I’ll stay strong and determined enough to see it through.
I have one more question though… can you tell me what is the confession formula in the English language? I know from the movies that first thing you say is “bless me father for I have sinned,” then how long it’s been since the last confession, then the sins, but what follows? What does one say at the end? Thank you again.
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In the Name of the Father, and of the Son and the Holy spirit,Amen.
Bless me father for I have sinnned
It has been (insert months, years, etc) or this is my first confession. (it was 25 years for me)
These are my sins… please do a deep examination of conscience before hand. I believe if you go to search in this forum you’ll be able to find a good listing of web sites that will help you make a good examination. Or stop into a church and look for a pamphlet in the common area, you’ll find one.
These are all my sins.
Father will probably have some advice for you, and then will ask you to recite the act of contrition, some confessionals have them posted in them but I always bring a copy along with me, just in case.
My God,
I am sorry for my sins with all my heart.
In choosing to do wrong
and failing to do good
I have sinned against you
whom I should love above all things.
I firmly intend, with your help,
to do penance.
to sin no more
and to avoid whatever leads me to sin
Our Savior Jesus Christ
suffered and died for us.
In His name, my God have mercy.
Father will raise his hand and will absolve you in the name of Jesus.
He will give you a penance to do.
That’s it, I always remember to thank what ever priest is in the confessional also. Don’t worry about crying, or being emotional, God loves you, he waits for you, no matter what! As you go out, Jesus goes with you-wherever you go- with his gift of peace, so that you may grow in love and be an instrument of his peace-wherever you go. How cool is that.
Pray this…
Holy Spirit, you came down upon the apostles to enlighten their minds and strengthen their ministry.
Come down upon me at this most important moment.
Help me to see my life in the light of Jesus Christ.
Renew my love as I am reconciled to God and his people. Amen
I’m praying for you, He’s waiting for you. God Bless you.
The Lord will fight for you, and you have only to keep still Exodus 14:14
 
Tomorrow. I am petrified. Most of all, that I’ll turn around. Please pray
 
GO! The Holy Spirit is acting in your life sending a big dose of grace your way in moving your heart towards repentance and your body towards the confessional. Be open to those graces that God sends you! Don’t turn your back on them. GO! There is even more grace waiting for you in the Sacrament of Reconciliation.

Think of it as a personal meeting that you’ve set up with Jesus. You wouldn’t stand Him up, would you? He’s waiting for you and is thrilled that you’re returning to Him - just like the father in the prodigal son parable.

For what it’s worth, many of us have been in your shoes, with many years since confession and a pile o’ sins to confess. In my case, it was one of the best experiences of my life. Yes, I was nervous, and it wasn’t easy, but I know I floated out of the confessional about 30 pounds lighter.

You’ll be in my prayers.
 
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