Need more compassion for spouse

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cradlecatholic5

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I consider myself a compassionate person, as do others.

My issue is my spouse.

My spouse complains about aches and pains constantly.

I was taught to “offer your pain & suffering up” … and suggest this to my spouse - it’s not well received. I’m told I don’t understand how bad the pain is.

As a child, my Mother complained greatly about her ailments. For this reason, I try very hard NOT to complain and downplay any pain I might endure. And I know when my spouse complains, my lack of compassion comes from my childhood.

I’m praying for more compassion with my spouse and asking for prayers, ideas and suggestions.

Thank you.
 
Praying for you and your spouse…
+
O most beautiful Flower of Mount Carmel, Fruitful Vine, Splendor of Heaven, who brought forth the Son of God still remaining a Virgin, assist us in this necessity.
O Star of the Sea, help us, and show us that you are our Mother.

O Holy Mary, Mother of God, Queen of Heaven and earth, we humbly ask you from the depths of our heart to help in this necessity. There are none who can withstand your power.
O show us that you are our Mother.

O Mary, conceived without sin, pray for us who have recourse to thee. Sweet Mother, we place this cause in your hands.

Amen.

Flos Carmeli
 
I am wondering why you have trouble being sympathetic toward your husband and his pains. Are you able to show compassion for other family members, or for strangers?

Maybe he just needs an acknowledgement in some small way. Or do you not believe that he actually is in pain?

It sounds like you grew up with mixed messages: offer it up ( and keep your pains to yourself?) while your mom openly complained of her pains.

These are just things to think about. I am not asking you to answer them here, by the way.
 
cradlecatholic5 said:
I consider myself a compassionate person, as do others.

My issue is my spouse.

My spouse complains about aches and pains constantly.

I was taught to “offer your pain & suffering up” … and suggest this to my spouse - it’s not well received. I’m told I don’t understand how bad the pain is.

As a child, my Mother complained greatly about her ailments. For this reason, I try very hard NOT to complain and downplay any pain I might endure. And I know when my spouse complains, my lack of compassion comes from my childhood.

I’m praying for more compassion with my spouse and asking for prayers, ideas and suggestions.

Thank you.
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Your spouse is a real problem as they don’t accept the stoicism we have all been taught is the best response, offering up our sufferings silently for the reparation of our sins.
What do you do with these whining, self-centered people who don’t do what we would do? Personally, if you love them, you could accept that it does actually hurt. But surely it is just attention seeking behaviour that should not be enabled by any sign of compassion? Probably, but if you love them can you take the chance that they might actually need you? Damn inconvenient. Nevertheless, some softies would actually look to ways to physically assist your spouse. Massage, patience, a bit of completely un-necessary mothering. Others might look to get a medical solution.
Being there for these irritating people we call the love of our lives is a good start. Physicality is the basis of married love and closeness breeds compassion. Patience is a very, very, good start to love. Judgment is a dead end to a relationship.
 
Praying continuing for you and your spouse…
+
O most beautiful Flower of Mount Carmel, Fruitful Vine, Splendor of Heaven, who brought forth the Son of God still remaining a Virgin, assist us in this necessity.
O Star of the Sea, help us, and show us that you are our Mother.

O Holy Mary, Mother of God, Queen of Heaven and earth, we humbly ask you from the depths of our heart to help in this necessity. There are none who can withstand your power.
O show us that you are our Mother.

O Mary, conceived without sin, pray for us who have recourse to thee. Sweet Mother, we place this cause in your hands.

Amen.

Flos Carmeli
 
Gracious and merciful Father, please come to their assistance.

Our Father, who art in Heaven, hallowed be thy name.
Thy kingdom come, thy will be done, on Earth as it is in Heaven.
Give us this day our daily bread,
and forgive us our trespasses, as we forgive those who trespass against us.
And lead us not into temptation, but deliver us from evil.
Amen.

Hail Mary, full of grace, the Lord is with thee.
Blessed art thou among women, and blessed is the fruit of thy womb Jesus.
Holy Mary, Mother of God, pray for us sinners, now and at the hour of our death.
Amen.

Glory Be to the Father, and to the Son, and to the Holy Spirit.
As it was in the beginning, is now, and ever shall be, world without end.
Amen.
 
Hail Mary
Full of grace
The Lord is with Thee.
Blessed art Thou amongst women
And blessed is the fruit of Thy womb
Jesus
Holy Mary
Mother of God
Pray for us sinners
Now and at the hour of death
Amen.
 
Prayer for Compassion

Lord, let us never forget that true joy is hidden in compassion. Help us share our wounds and our brokenness with one another. Open our hearts and our minds to the fact that we are all your children and we belong to the same family. Help us rejoice in our shared humanity and deepen our sense of fellowship together. In the name of your beloved son Jesus. Amen.

:signofcross:

​
 
Lord, please give CradleCatholic5 grace to have more compassion for their spouse. Know their intention to do better in honoring their spouse and you during these frustrating times and forgive them for times they do not succeed. Bless their spouse so that the ailments they are facing are less painful. Amen.
 
Remembering you and your spouse in my daily prayers. God bless!
 
Praying continuing for you and your spouse…
+
O most beautiful Flower of Mount Carmel, Fruitful Vine, Splendor of Heaven, who brought forth the Son of God still remaining a Virgin, assist us in this necessity.
O Star of the Sea, help us, and show us that you are our Mother.

O Holy Mary, Mother of God, Queen of Heaven and earth, we humbly ask you from the depths of our heart to help in this necessity. There are none who can withstand your power.
O show us that you are our Mother.

O Mary, conceived without sin, pray for us who have recourse to thee. Sweet Mother, we place this cause in your hands. Amen.

Flos Carmeli
 
Jesus, I offer this intention to Your most Sacred Heart

Our father who art in heaven
Hallowed be thy name
Thy kingdom come
Thy will be done
On earth as it is in heaven
Give us this day our daily bread
And forgive us our trespasses
As we forgive those who trespass against us
Lead us not into temptation
But deliver us from evil.
Amen

Hail Mary full of grace
The Lord is with you
Blessed art thou among women
And blessed is the fruit of your womb Jesus
Holy Mary mother of God
Pray for us sinners
Now and in the hour of our death
Amen.

Eternal Father in whom mercy is endless
And treasury of compassion inexhaustible
Look kindly upon us and increase your mercy in us
so that in difficult moments
we may not despair
nor become despondent
but with great confidence
submit ourselves to Your holy will
Which is love and mercy itself.
Amen.
 
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