Need to lose 20 lbs

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I’m a huge believer in the Primal diet. It’s works and easy to follow. Basically it’s very much like the Southbeach Diet, little to no carbs, fresh fruit, fresh veggies and meat.
Just goodle Primal Diet, it’s probably a great diet for your husband as well, and he doesn’t even have to know he’s on a diet!

Just google Primal diet.

I have several friends who have lots quite a bit of weight on the Primal diet, and without counting calories. I lost 35 pounds in about 2 months when I followed it as written! They have several really good cookbooks out too!
 
Shifting 20-25 pounds is hard. I have a few thoughts, which mostly echo what others have said already:

a) While what you eat is important, the key concern should be total calories. This comes down to a fundamental law of physics - the conservation of energy. All energy (calories) you consume is either stored on your body or used by your body (metabolic rate + physical activity). If you consume more calories than you use, you gain weight. If you use more calories than your consume, you lose weight. It can be hard to count calories, but keep this in mind as a basic principle.

b) As others have identified, hidden sugar in what we eat is a great threat. Since sugar is so quickly metabolised, it doesn’t sate hunger for long, so we get hungry again and we end up consuming more than we need (see point above). Fat and protein keep us sated for longer than sugar (and other refined carbs), so consuming more of these may help in avoiding overeating, and especially snacking.

c) Don’t “go on a diet”. Do work on better food habits. Diets fail, while building healthy habits is a way to ensure you can stick with it.

d) Excercise can be hard to find time and motivation for. Many of us have been there. You need to find an activity that you will enjoy enough to stick with. As others have asked, is this something you can explore with your husband? Or are there other friends you can partner with? Or maybe you have to bite the bullet and go to a boot camp or personal trainer. It can be scary, but sometimes we need someone pushing us before we start excercising to the extent that we need to.

e) Incidental excercise is important. Take the stairs, not the lift. Walk to the nearby shops, don’t drive. Have a walk during your lunch break. Etc…
 
I’m a huge believer in the Primal diet. It’s works and easy to follow. Basically it’s very much like the Southbeach Diet, little to no carbs, fresh fruit, fresh veggies and meat.
Just goodle Primal Diet, it’s probably a great diet for your husband as well, and he doesn’t even have to know he’s on a diet!

Just google Primal diet.

I have several friends who have lots quite a bit of weight on the Primal diet, and without counting calories. I lost 35 pounds in about 2 months when I followed it as written! They have several really good cookbooks out too!
I’m not much for food fads, but I’m impressed with this one. One of my adult daughters is very much convinced of its merit. She convinced my wife of it, at least in part, and my wife cooks that way most of the time. I did get used to it very quickly. Anyway, my daughter has had eight children and is fit, trim and healthy. Her husband is very much given to putting on excess weight, and he has lost a lot and keeps it off as long as he doesn’t sneak pastries or something.🙂
 
Great feedback from everyone! Miriam, best to you. Keep us posted!! Maybe one of those tickers on your signature may help. :hug1:
 
I use www.myfitnesspal.com, to track diet and exercise - there’s enough diet tips on here so I won’t bore you. Hard work pays off, it’s a lifestyle change, not a temporary diet. You must stick to lean proteins, fruits, veggies and whole grains, no sodas or juices - water, tea, and/or vitamin water zero with perhaps a cheat day here and there and exercise at least 30 minutes a day, 5 to 6 times a week. I usually go jogging, power walking, elliptical or dance then pilates and yoga at home while kids are sleeping. I love www.blogilates.com - short, quick routines, from cardio to classic pilates, all to great motivational pop music. If you can’t find time with kids to exercise that often, squeeze in at least 10-15 minutes hard cardio - get your hubby involved, too! You can encourage each other.

Pressed for time? Do squats while brushing teeth, do some ab, butt and leg work while watching tv, do pushups or jumping jacks - add it all up and you’ve got your workout! I went fr size 8 to size 4 after a couple of years - I indulged on vacations here and there and wasn’t always a saint with diet but it worked. Good luck!
 
Wow! Lots of advice and encouragement!!! Thanks everyone. Keep the stories/advice coming!!
Ahhhhh, I just need to get started!!!
 
A few years ago I was also in your shoes! I had gained weight soon after my wedding and was not happy with myself. I managed to exercise a bit more (had always been active) for a few months and dropped a little. Then I got pregnant. Throughout my pregnancy and breastfeeding period, my husband and I have continually refined our diet, as we are both concerned with our health. Try to get your husband on board with you. He can always get healthier too, and it will help keep you motivated.

Step 1: Exercise: get up about 20-30 min earlier in the morning. Go for a light walk/jog. IE Walk five minutes, jog ten minutes, walk five minutes. By doing it first thing in the morning you are jumpstarting you metabolism before you even have breakfast. It is also much easier to avoid putting it off, procrastinating, or skipping. I find it is a great way to start the day.

Step 2: DONT DO ANYTHING EXTREME. Cutting out particular types of food hardly ever works. You need to actually read what a serving size is. And you need to rethink how much food you actually need to eat. For example, you do not need to have meat, a side dish (or bread), and vegetables for lunch and dinner. Many Europeans eat larger lunchs and small dinners. There is a reason for that. You have time to burn off the lunch before you go to bed. Dinner, not so much. My husband and I hardly ever eat side dishes, though we might each have a single slice of bread with cheese with our dinner. Lunch is often a small piece of meat (I have maybe a quarter of a chicken breast, he has one half to a whole) with a steamed vegetable. Dinner is light, mostly vegetables with some fresh soup. Dessert is fruit. Snack may be an English muffin with peanut butter. WHen you eat a full range of vegetables, you are getting more protein and iron than you realize. Meat shouldn’t be a main course. Humans have about tripled their intake of meat over the past century. We do not need nearly as much as we think we do. (And my husband is a big, muscular guy - he still doesn’t eat all that much meat)

Step 3: Cut out artificial ingredients, additives, and processed foods. Don’t want to get into med. advice here, but do research on side effects related to food additives and artificial ingredients - ie high fructose corn syrop or splenda. I personally know I can instantly tell when something has an artificial sweetener. I get a massive headache. The more naturally you can eat the better.

With our diet I have managed to loose an additional ten pounds past my prepregnanc weight, and I am almost down to my high school weight. I have much more energy than before, and I can instantly tell when my husband and I don’t follow our diet (ie splurge for a special treat with a big piece of meat, or eat at another’s house where we do not have our vegetables to eat), I feel sluggish, bloated, and just ‘ugh’.

Good luck with your journey! Really, all that it takes to be successful is some sensible lifestyle changes. Read about eating habits in far healthier cultures and get inspired.
 
The key is to care less about the weight and your appearance and more about what is healthy for your body long term.

I was SO suspicious of the “South Beach” diet when I first heard of it because the name itself sounds like a fad or lame trend. But the guy is a genius. Never before in human history have we had so much sugar and refined starch in our diets (which breaks down into sugar practically instantly in your body). We’re literally killing ourselves with poor food choices by training ourselves to always be building body fat and never to be burning it. You have to read the book to understand the effect sugar plays on the insulin cycle.
Interesting… I would say I eat pretty healthy, I have for a long time, but DH and I have been “treating” ourselves to soda and ice cream a lot lately and I swear it is like my body completely starts storing fat as soon as I add in sugar. I think I have gained about 7lbs in the last month and a half and this has been the worst month as far as sugar goes.
 
Miriam,
It certainly is tough to keep off the weight. Ease your way into a good routine and if you have a bad day/week, shake it off and stay committed. If you notice you are overindulging in certain things, consider abstaining from it from time to time as a form of penance. Lastly, is your husband very active? Maybe you guys can exercise or do other activities together like hiking. You are in my prayers.
Thanks for the advice Marty. I’m terrible at giving up once I cheat, I really really need to just get over that habit. Giving my favorite indulgance up as a penance is a great idea! Hubby used to be hugely active, we’re both kind of unmotivated together right now. Need to get the flame going under our behinds. Thanks for your prayers, that is so kind!!!
 
Interesting… I would say I eat pretty healthy, I have for a long time, but DH and I have been “treating” ourselves to soda and ice cream a lot lately and I swear it is like my body completely starts storing fat as soon as I add in sugar. I think I have gained about 7lbs in the last month and a half and this has been the worst month as far as sugar goes.
Yes… sugar is the devil. Click here for a piece by Gary Taubes, science writer for the NY Times.
 
It’s not always easy. Ask your husband for help. If he wants you to be thinner then maybe BOTH of you need to make some changes.
I think you are very right. He is blessed with a very high metabolism, so while we eat the same proportionately, it shows on me and not him. I actually was doing very well eating super healthy but then it got to be too much cooking two meals all the time, one for him and one for myself. Plus its so much harder when there are goodies all over the house looking at me. 😃
 
…it got to be too much cooking two meals all the time, one for him and one for myself. Plus its so much harder when there are goodies all over the house looking at me. 😃
Ding! Ding! Ding!

While it can work for a while, I don’t think preparing different meals for each member of the family is a good long term solution. Generally I think couples should be eating the same foods. If your husband thinks he is missing out on something then he may have to get his treats on his own time.
 
Eating no fat at all in one’s diet will take pounds off in a big way. Doesn’t matter what else you eat. But one has to be careful because one needs SOME fat in his/her diet to maintain health. But one can be very, very sparing of its consumption. .
This is what Dr. Furhman preaches as well - to just get your fat from things that naturally contain fat, like nuts, seeds and avocados. I did his diet - I started losing weight rather quickly, my skin started looking awesome, but I just found it so extreme and found no pleasure in eating at all. The diet consisted in eating cooked and raw veggies, fruit, seeds, nuts and beans. And thats it. I do believe it is the most healthful, nutrient rich way to eat, but I think it takes superhuman committment to make it your lifestyle.
 
I’ve gained and lost weight in our relationship several times…gained 30 while dating, lost 30 before wedding, gained 10 before pregnancy (three months into marriage!!), then gained 50 during pregnancy, lost 50, gained 30 in second pregnancy, lost 30, gained 40, lost 35. I’m quite aware of how weight can affect self esteem, and perceived feelings of attractiveness. It’s super important to love how you feel in your own skin, and that will translate to every other aspect of life.

First of all, do you have a regular exercise routine? This is very important for overall bodily health. You really should try to devote 1hr of exercise at least 6 days a week, and two days of that should include weight training. Try to eat very light dinners, a zone bar or cheese stick and an apple with a spoon of peanut butter. I’ve been very efficient with losing weight when I had very small dinners (very little eating after 4pm…enjoy a nice lunch and breakfast…you will most likely burn most of the calories before bed) and I’ve maintained a consistent exercise schedule.

Why not try to rope DH into an extra walk before bed while eating your dinner snack vs a regular meal? I know it’s hard since it’s sooo nice to come home and relax and eat after work and the DH probably loves food too. But it’s so rewarding to put on a pair of jeans and love how they look on you.

Good luck…I still struggle with this every single day. I realize that I will probably have to work at it every day of my life since I don’t have a genetically wonderful metabolism, but exercise also gives you those fabulous endorphines.
I’m so glad someone else understands!! When I am healthy and lean I feel so great in my own skin and it spills over into every other aspect of my life. I feel so much more alive in a way. What do you do for exercise?
 
OK you all have talked me into it.🙂

I would like to lose 30 lbs. I am a diabetic and have been to the nutrition classes which are excellent by the way. There a diabetic learns how to eat correctly to maintain sugar readings and it absolutely works if I do what I am suppose to do. It is a whole change in eating habits and when I found out the actual size a portion is I nearly flipped. I had been eating enough for two full grown men. Only problem is I’m a woman standing 5’2. I really think sitting at the computer hasn’t helped in weight loss .:cool:

Anyway, I feel the most important part about trying to lose weight is the exercise program. If you can faithfully stick to a program and then just watch the portion sizes you may very well be successful. I’m starting this tomorrow morning.

OP: I also don’t feel your husband is harsh. Sometimes we just need to hear from someone close to us that a change needs to be made. Thank him for it and hit the tredmill! 😉
Glad to see this is motivating someone else!!! Did you start? What kind of exercise program are you doing? I’m not diabetic but I do deal with low blood sugar issues. Thanks for the support!
 
I know that Weight Watchers works for many people. It worked for me at first too. I had lost about 10 lbs. But then I realized that the people in the meetings were making food into their God, really. I mean, I was hearing people advise that if you break up ONE tortilla chip into 8 pieces, you feel like you are eating more. :rolleyes:

NOPE!

I mean, if that works for you, fine. It stopped working for me. People say they aren’t hungry on Weight Watchers, but I had a pretty low point count and I WAS hungry. The 3 things that they hang the whole program on are: 1) weigh ins 2) tracking your food intake and 3) meetings that are supposed to be support. The instructors can vary greatly. I liked my instructor but I just felt like it was all about OBSESSION with points. What I am looking for is a way to relax about eating but not use food for anything other than fuel, and to know when I am hunger-eating and when I am emotion-eating.

I am really bad at exercising too. I hate it. All forms of it. If only reading burned calories! And we are in the hot season here, which means there is no comfortable time for outdoor exercising. I don’t like to sweat and have to shower right afterward. I hate gyms too. The sweaty people running on the treadmill :eek: ICK. I am not coordinated enough to take a step class or Zumba, not that I want to jump around in a room full of other people jumping around.

I have at least 20 lbs. to lose. I weigh as much as I ever have. I have done the Atkins diet and it worked GREAT, but I missed fruit so much I could hardly stand it, and I was so sick and tired of chicken salads and meat I could have screamed.

Of course we all see the ads for Sensa, I have no idea what is in it but I’ve been tempted to try it. I know better, but when the scale keeps going up … 🤷

I have figured out that going on ANY diet, no matter how balanced or how great everyone else thinks it is, is NOT going to work for me. I have to simply change my reference toward food, permanently. And it’s all going to happen too slowly for my liking, probably one step forward and two back for a while, until the weather breaks and I can at least walk outside.

I would be happy to join a group here to lose weight sensibly.
 
So, I need to lose 20 lbs, maybe even 25. I’m pretty upset with myself, I’m actually quite surprised how much this is affecting my self esteem. I got maried almost a year ago and have gained 15 lbs (well, gained 6 then lost it then gained some more). It is definitely affecting hubby and his attraction toward me too. He has confided in me that he is concerned I might end up like an older sister who is about 60 lbs overweight. She, however is still very attractive and carries her weight very well. I on the other hand look SO much better lean and even a little extra weight makes my face and body look pudgy and out of proportion. 😦
I have been down this road before, several times losing and gaining 5,10,15 lbs over the years. Not sure what I am looking for, writing in this forum…maybe some encouragement or even some prayers? I do believe that I may be sinning, not taking care of the body God gave me, for my own dignity and for hubby’s happiness.
Anyone been like this and overcome their weight issues? When I think about the effort and committment needed to tackle this I really struggle with believing I can do it (AND THEN MAINTAIN THE WEIGHTLOSS…FOREVER!). I feel like such a baby, like I need someone to hold my hand through the process because I can’t do it on my own! I know, that is so pathetic! :eek:
I have had success with the Atkins low-carb diet. I think that the South Beach Diet is somewhat similar. However, if you do one of these diets, first read the book that explains the diet, so that you know how to do it properly, without restricting carbs TOO much.

Having said that, 20 pounds overweight really isn’t that much. I don’t think you or your husband should be worried too much about an extra 20 pounds – if your weight is stable at that level and if you are generally in good health (e.g., eating well, getting regular exercise).
 
I think you are very right. He is blessed with a very high metabolism, so while we eat the same proportionately, it shows on me and not him. I actually was doing very well eating super healthy but then it got to be too much cooking two meals all the time, one for him and one for myself. Plus its so much harder when there are goodies all over the house looking at me. 😃
Get them out of the house!

Temptation to indulge is hard to deal with. But if you don’t have sugary treats and ice cream in the house, you won’t be overcome by temptation. Clean out your fridge, freezer, and pantry of all the junk that you know you shouldn’t eat. And keep it clean of such foods.

And tell your husband that you need it this way. You want to lose 20lbs and be fit, healthy, and - yes - more attractive. Unless he’s a fool, he will support you in this. If he wants to keep eating unhealthy food at home, he will undermine your efforts. He will need to change a few habits too in order to help you.
 
Yea I think staying at the weight you want to be at is as simple as making sure your consuming the right amount of calories everyday. Now I am not a fan of counting the calories in every food you eat, it just becomes obsessive at that point. I think eating natural is the best way to go though. Its the way humans were made to eat. The less artificial and messed with by man the better. Fruits, vegetables, whole grains, whole rice, low sugar/salt, mostly lean meats and fish are all great. Instead of snacking on chips or candy you could snack on fruits or vegtables. A handful of jelly beans is around 350 calories(just had some last night 😃 :eek: ) vs an apple which is around 50-100. An apple is much more filling and satisfying too where as the jelly beans just leave you wanting for more. 3-6 apples contains the same amount of calories as a handful of jelly beans. 👍

I think a lot of eating healthy is mental. I made a decision to not eat chips anymore. We always have chips in the house but I never struggle with eating them. Its pretty much a mental block I have made. Chips don’t taste that great, chips aren’t very good for me, I don’t need chips. I used to eat them everyday and now its hard for me to remember last time I had one. I successfully convinced myself I didn’t need them anymore.

I’ve found with a lot of junky food that I find myself eating that I don’t really even enjoy it that much. Its like a habit. Society tells us Little Debbie cup cakes are good so we eat em. In reality I could think of more healthy things I would have rather ate.

Personally I think there is no problem with indulging in junk food a few times a week though. Some people like to have a cheat day where they eat whatever they like on that day, within reason obviously. We only live so long and I don’t see the problem in a little candy, cake, or whatever we crave once in a while.

Your diet should be a way of life though not just something you do for a month or so to lose weight. Its the only way your gonna stay consistently at the weight you want to be at. There are all these diet plans out there but in the end if you only do it for a year you just going to gain the weight back eventually once you get off the plan.

As far as working out I think the healthiest thing is a mix of cardio and some intense strength training. All you really need is a workout 3 times a week to gain strength.

Working out isn’t everyones cup of tea. I am more of a hands on person so Its something I actually enjoy to a certain extent. However I would definitely say its a healthy thing to do especially in this day and age where a person not getting enough exercise in his/her daily life is relatively common. Even if you are a person who gets a good amount of excersise everyday be it from your job or just taking care of a bunch of kids, which can be pretty darn taxing :D, strength training can still be beneficial to your health.

I personally do barbell lifting which I think is the best way to gain all around strength in your upper and lower body. The chances of injury always go up when the weights get heavier. That is just a given risk though. I try to use good form and stay within my limits and I believe I’ll be fine.

Just doing body weight exercises, which are very safe, can be very beneficial though. One legged squats, different kinds of push ups, pull ups, crunches, stretching are all good ways to exercise without having to spend money on weights. In order for me to really stay motivated when working out I need to consistently progress in whatever I am doing. Strength training definitely does that for me.

I try to think of working out as a health thing like brushing my teeth. Sure I could live without brushing my teeth but I’ll be a whole lot better off if I do it. A bit of an extreme example I guess, but that is the way I look at it.

Just my .02 cents hope it helps in some way.
 
Get them out of the house!

Temptation to indulge is hard to deal with. But if you don’t have sugary treats and ice cream in the house, you won’t be overcome by temptation. Clean out your fridge, freezer, and pantry of all the junk that you know you shouldn’t eat. And keep it clean of such foods.

And tell your husband that you need it this way. You want to lose 20lbs and be fit, healthy, and - yes - more attractive. Unless he’s a fool, he will support you in this. If he wants to keep eating unhealthy food at home, he will undermine your efforts. He will need to change a few habits too in order to help you.
I agree with this. At the very least, buy stuff YOU don’t like. Example: Hubby likes Cheetos. I do not. Hubby likes peanut M&Ms. I don’t. Hubby likes Blue Bell Happy Tracks ice cream. Not me. None of those treats tempt me in the least, so I don’t mind buying them. The rest of the stuff I’ve been indulging in is slowly being depleted now that our sons are both in college and not here all the time. I am not going on any more Halloween, Valentine, or Easter candy runs. If it’s not in the house, I won’t eat it. If it’s here, and it’s something I like, you bet I will have some.
 
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