Need Your Thoughts: Im Catholic and My Girlfriend is Methodist

[mhelman34]

We are ready to take the next step in our relationship, but we want to figure out our religion. She will not become Catholic but wants to compromise and is open to find a mutual religion. She is very intrigued with the Luthern religion. I am in a tough situation and struggling trying to decide what I want. I dont know much about any religion besides Catholicism. I dont want this issue to break up our relationship and we are trying hard to figure this all out. Any advice?

 

[ljprevo]

Yeah, DON’T DO IT.

This should not be open for negotiation. So you two would give up your faith and live with God to please each other?

I would do some serious, serious soul searching and ask. Who comes first, God or the Girl?

I have been there and done that, all that comes with it is heartache.

 

[BeeSweet]

Anything else is dumbed down Christianity. Has she been to mass with you? Have you attended Methodist services with her? Why does she want to find a new faith, as long as it’s not the one you practice? That seems strange to me. Better for both of you to remain in the faith you have now than the compromise she is suggesting.

Do you have a copy of the Catechism of the Catholic Church? You need one if you don’t have one already.

 

[ricko]

First of all, giving up being a Catholic is not an option. Religion does not seem to be that much to her if she is willing to “shop around”. Explain how important the Catholic Church is to you and rejecting the Church that Jesus established could put your soul in danger. If she is willing to change why does she reject becoming Catholic? Maybe you should explain to her the history of the Church and the part it plays not only in your salvation but hers also. Could be that once she finds out the Truth she would become Catholic as God wanted.

 

[HannahLisa]

I think that you should first of all see how important Catholicism is to you. Is this what your life is based around? Also, I would suggest looking into other denominations’ beliefs – it’s good to know what other people believe. If neither of you are willing to convert, then you can either agree to disagree or go your separate ways. Don’t betray what you believe simply so you can stay with her.

 

[Other_Eric]

My advice is to leave her. Religion is not like the selection at the local Cineplex where one choice is likely to be about as good as another. Religion is supposed to be an expression of what one believes the ultimate truth to be. If you are willing to forsake your faith in order to pursue the affections of some woman then you really ought to reassess your priorities.

 

[1ke]

but wants to compromise and is open to find a mutual religion.

Well, are you going to choose Christ or are you going to choose this girl?

When Jesus asked Peter if he wanted to leave, Peter said, “to whom should we go?”

Christ established His Church and that cannot be “compromised” for anyone.

I am in a tough situation and struggling trying to decide what I want.

What decision is that? You would actually consider reject Christ’s Church and his Real Presence in the Eucharist?

You seem to be under the impression that the Catholic Church is just one among many and it doesn’t matter which church you go to-- but that is far from the truth. The Catholic Church is the Church founded by Christ upon the Rock of Peter. The Catholic Church holds the fullness of Truth, the Sacraments, and the Keys given to Peter.

I dont want this issue to break up our relationship and we are trying hard to figure this all out. Any advice?

It may break up your relationship, because God must come first before anything else.

You need to think seriously about your Faith. It is unwise to proceed in a relationship in which you are not united in Faith.

 

[psyche23]

It sounds like you aren’t very familiar with Church teaching and are wavering. I think there are many variables to be taken into consideration here. Your age and how long you two have been together and how serious you want to become.

That said, your relationship with God should always come first. Those variables just help you keep things into perspective.

Investigate Catholicism with your girlfriend together with open minds and hearts. Consult your priest and the many other reliable resources the Church gives you I know if you approach it with a true heart, God will lead both of you to the Catholic Church. Make sure to do thorough research though. Then compare with other religions. I firmly believe we’re all Catholic (some may just not know it yet!!! ). Good luck with your search!

 

[FaithofAbraham]

In Islam we ask our women to convert, if that fails we demand it, if that fails then we beat them into submission.

Not really. My wife is Catholic and I’m Muslim, though she sees validity in my particular way of belief. If that can work, anything can, so maybe just do your own thing. What I couldn’t tolerate is someone who rejected my beliefs straight away.

 

[psyche23]

In Islam we ask our women to convert, if that fails we demand it, if that fails then we beat them into submission.

Not really. My wife is Catholic and I’m Muslim, though she sees validity in my particular way of belief. If that can work, anything can, so maybe just do your own thing. What I couldn’t tolerate is someone who rejected my beliefs straight away.

WOW! At first I thought you were serious!!! YIKES!!!

Seriously though, I definately agree that two people of different religions can get married and have wonderful lives! I’ve seen many examples. This guy’s girlfriend seems to waver though, enough to Church shop. So I think education is still best here before deciding to just accept each others poor faith basis in order to get along.

 

[FaithofAbraham]

WOW! At first I thought you were serious!!! YIKES!!!

Seriously though, I definately agree that two people of different religions can get married and have wonderful lives! I’ve seen many examples. This guy’s girlfriend seems to waver though, enough to Church shop. So I think education is still best here before deciding to just accept each others poor faith basis in order to get along.

Yeah, I shouldn’t have said anything will work, I meant rather as long as both worship God and don’t reject Jesus those are the main things in my mind. I couldn’t be with a Jewish person that didn’t like Jesus, for example.

But anyway, maybe the girl will be more inclined to adopt his faith if she’s wavering.

 

[dolphinlove]

In Islam we ask our women to convert, if that fails we demand it, if that fails then we beat them into submission.

Unfortunately some Muslims do believe this.

As for my 2c worth, I wouldnt convert from Catholicism if I was you.
Catholicism is the one true church of God.
Is this cause your girlfriend has only heard bad things about our church? Why not educate her on the true teachings of it and show her how beautiful it can be.

 

[true_believer]

I would say that the first thing to ask is how deep each of you are in your particular faith. In my case, I am very deep into my Catholic faith and would not convert for anyone. But if one person is not very deep into their faith, it may be best for them to convert.

I say this mainly because divorce rates are lower in couples who hold the same religious beliefs and practices. It goes along with the phrase “The family that prays together, stays together.”

Also, it may be better for both of you to be the same faith should you get married so that your children have one solid faith to be raised as. I know some people who’s parents are two different religions and she now doesn’t practice either religion because of the mixed messages between the religions.

These are just my thoughts. I will keep you in my prayers though, that you will be able to come to an agreement with your girlfriend over what to do.

 

[Maui71]

We are ready to take the next step in our relationship, but we want to figure out our religion. She will not become Catholic but wants to compromise and is open to find a mutual religion. She is very intrigued with the Luthern religion. I am in a tough situation and struggling trying to decide what I want. I dont know much about any religion besides Catholicism. I dont want this issue to break up our relationship and we are trying hard to figure this all out. Any advice?

The choice is pure rationalism and that is against God and the Church. Christ said either hot or cold but not lukewarm. Religion is not a pair of shoes or a nice pair of jeans that is fashionable today and out tomorrow those are vanities. Either you love God and his Church or you don’t really that is the only truth. Now, if she is willing to walk away from her faith what makes you think she won’t walk away from you later?

Really, faith is part of the yarn a person is made up of. Even atheists believe that they don’t believe and are willing to fight tooth and nail so that they cannot believe to believe. Yet she can drop her belief a heart beat? Tells me there is little faith there because she is not willing to look at your faith even though she is willing to drop hers.

What about your kids? Are you going to want them schooled as Lutherans, Methodist, Baptists or whatever compromising religion (rationalism) you agree to? She is not going to want them brought up catlik now you know…

I know, it sounds like I am or most posters are beating up on your girl. You are probably feeling rather sour, don’t blame you. But you wanted to know from CAF what people thought for a reason and you should pray for the Lord to guide you.

Good luck,

 

[Jabronie]

If she’s the one you’re meant to be with, maybe God is using you to bring the Catholic faith to her and her family. Just remember the following rules.

1. Be patient.
2. Focus on your common believes.
3. Encourage her to ask questions and answer them with love and kindness.
4. Ask her questions about her own faith. When she looks for answers, she’ll compare her tradition to yours. One one will make more sense
5. Don’t try to convert her; let the Holy Spirit do that.
6. Allow her to practice her own faith and make it very clear that she can’t try to stop you from practicing yours. Attend the occasional service at her church, just don’t miss Mass.
7. Pray.
8. Pray.
9. Pray.

When I met my girlfriend, she was a very devote Lutheran, I was an agnostic former Catholic. I “reconverted” in '05 and it almost ended the relationship, but God had other things in mind. We talked and prayed a lot and ended up getting married in the Catholic Church. In fact, we just returned for our honeymoon… in Rome. (Christmas at the Vatican!)

Like I said, if she’s the one for you, stay faithful to God and He will stay faithful to you.

If she’s not the one for you, go find yourself a good Catholic girl and avoid some unnecessary headaches

 

[irishmac]

My wife was born and raised Methodist and I am a cradle Catholic. She was very active in her church. I was a fairly faithful Catholic who suffered from my own doubts, but I maintained. I began to learn what the CCD classes didn’t teach me, and now I am strong in my faith and I believe the doctrines of the Catholic Church completely. My wife and I participate in the RCIA program at the local parish, allowing her the opportunity to grow in faith as she “inquires” into the Church. I continue to pray for the Holy Spirit to convert her heart to hear the Truth of the Church.

I think it is important for you to know about the Catholic Church in depth before you decide to give it up. You don’t know what you are giving up, and she doesn’t know what she is asking you to give up. All churches are not the same. There is only one Church founded by Christ.

I find it interesting that your girlfriend is so adamant against the Catholic Church. What are her issues with the Church? Does she understand the history of her denomination, about how they diverged from the Anglicans who, in turn, diverged from the Catholic Church? What is it about the Lutheran church that appeals to her? Most of her objections are personal reflections or thoughts on misconceptions she has heard about the Church. Once you learn the objections, then you can learn the misconception and then learn what the Church truly teaches on the subject. Once you know the Truth, then you can pass it on.

I know that you are in a difficult spot. I have been there. The choice of your religion or your girlfriend is truly no choice at all. If she cannot think about accepting the faith you were raised in, then she is not accepting YOU, is she?

“To be deep in history is to cease to be Protestant.”- the venerable John Henry Cardinal Newman

 

[mary_bobo]

There is a lot of useful and thoughtful information in these posts. It occurs to me, in addition to what has already been said, that if your girlfriend is this opposed to the Church (or what she thinks the Church is) now, at a time when each partner is trying to please the other, what problems lie down the road for you if you marry and have children. The “new” will have worn off, then what?

 

[sterryfamily]

Ask her why she is so opposed to your faith that she would have any other besides it.

Then ask her and yourself if you each fully understand what the Church teaches and ask if she would be willing to go on a journey of discovery with you.

You can read many of the tracts and articles right here on CA. Start at the HOME page and look in the left hand margin under LIBRARY. Then look at other sites as well.

This is serious stuff. It’s going to last a whole lot longer than any relationship you have with this woman. Neither of you can approach it cavalierly.

 

[psyche23]

The way I read the origional post, it sounds like his girlfriend is not necessarily opposed to the Catholic church, but wants to find common ground for the future of the two of them together. This is an admirable quality (compromising) but in terms of faith is clearly not advised especially not for the sole puropse to compromise. See all previous posts.

 

[puzzleannie]

We are ready to take the next step in our relationship, but we want to figure out our religion. She will not become Catholic but wants to compromise and is open to find a mutual religion. She is very intrigued with the Luthern religion. I am in a tough situation and struggling trying to decide what I want. I dont know much about any religion besides Catholicism. I dont want this issue to break up our relationship and we are trying hard to figure this all out. Any advice?

and I underline, any advice? remember you asked
if she is willing to compromise by denying the unique beliefs of her denomination to find a “mutual religion” she is not firm in her own faith. If you are even entertaining the idea, you are not firm in your faith. How do reasonably expect to form a solid marriage partnership, establish and live by firm Christian values, and raise a solid Christian family, if neither one of you has a firm Christian faith? Faith does not become a rock to build on by chipping away at it, and tossing out pieces of it.

before you can consider marriage, indeed before you can prepare yourself for what the future holds in all areas of life, each of you needs to attend to your relationship with God, study your faith, and come to know within yourself what you believe, and why, and learn to commit to all that faith demands. If you can’t commit to your own Faith, how can you commit to marriage?

if the woman you love, and who professes to love you, rejects what should be the central part of your identity, your Catholic faith, how can there be acceptance, trust and love enough for marriage?